RHP

RHP User

F70

Why don't women message men?

September 22 2015

If you are a woman why would you not message a man?Have you had negative experiences when you have done this or do you think that it's not a woman's place to make the first move...My question to men is how do you feel about getting messages from women ...are you delighted or do you automatically still think that this is an over confident woman and not for you ?xxFreya

Comments

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Here are some more reasons women don't message men or indeed respond positively...You are too short,too far away,married or attached,you are the wrong age, your profile is generic...too boring,says nothing about you... Your first message is too short,too rude ,you have no face pic and or they just aren't interested xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    "women" Some are more interested with the Turkish Tiles in the foreground faark some are good tile layers...or (it's similar to you go to the hardware store and you keep asking for milk the response...sorry we don't sell milk time and again you go go back and ask... milk at some point .. you wise up and stop asking

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    9 years ago

    Slow day today ?

  • FaeCouple

    FaeCouple

    9 years ago

    I have messaged men in the past and I have met some of them at my place. My man is very understanding of it and doesn't get upset and jealous when I do. I guess some guys must not find those of us online who do. But we are out here!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    It seems to me that we women have a specific personal tick box when it comes to "selecting" men that we would like to connect with online. But it seems that men will message many varied ages/sizes/looks/personalities in their quest to find someone. ( An example of this is the same guy contacting myself and 2 friends of mine on here,3 very different women that surely the same man wouldnt be attracted to all of us)Is it because they arent as particular and it really boils down to anyone will do, because Ive heard quite a few men on here say that theyve sent so many messages to women and rarely get a positive outcome. Do they just want to get their moneys worth from their membership and use up their message quota for the day? Is that the venus and mars reality that both sexes approach online dating from totally different perspectives? Men complain that we are too fussy and wont give them a chance on here. While women say that they arent fussy they just know what/who they are attracted to.

  • 0z_boy

    0z_boy

    9 years ago

    Women love shopping, they also love a bargain and do not have to be a paid up member to get laid up. They can answer as many messages as they like for free (please correct me if I am wrong) This is just plain old economics at work here, there is no need for female guest members (the majority) to send messages as this is skewed a tad, to quote freya70 "If you are a female guest.you have one message a week BUT you can ONLY send to PAYING males whose criteria you match" But hypothetically speaking of course, as this could never be implicated due to market forces, I wonder if those terms above were reversed where women were placed in a mans position and had to pay to message and only receive the odd message from us mere males.Hhhmm, just perhaps, just maybe it would even up the playing field and us average to middling guys would get a bombarded with messages! Imagine that! lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ...and received a fair proportion of messages from women, I think. Ive found my niche these days, so I rarely proactively send messages to women who are strangers...but there are a few who I would consider friends, despite that we've never met...who I exchange the occasional online conversation with. To me, this site is just like the real world. I show myself openly and unambiguously, just as I do when interacting with strangers in real life..and I think my profile is an excellent reflection of me. That's its purpose isn't it? I get flirts more often than messages, and I see on my stats that ive received far more of both than ive sent in the last 2 years. Not bad for an ordinary guy who isnt proactively chasing, eh? Anyway. Maybe that's the great secret to communication with the opposite sex...just be yourself. Leave the tricks and the false pretenses to the kids. But what would I know : )

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I don't think women are fussy but given that they have a smorgasbord to choose from they are going to go for the top 10% all the time. Which means there are guys here who will be pretty busy and lots of guys here missing out. Guys probably aren't as choosy. They just want to meet girls and have a great time at all different levels. Part of the attraction of this scene is being able to potentially have great experiences with a wide range of people and not the same type all the time. From what I can see women tend to hone in on one type and stick with it. The jaded parted of me would say the toned, over 6 foot and 7 inches plus and under 35 would see all the fun. Outside that and it kind of seems fruitless. Now don't take what I said above as a whinge. Just stating how I see it. I joined back up again to give it another go but I'm not having much luck. Hardest part I reckon is do you go for a bit of dirty talk straight up and they get offended or go for a vanilla message and they don't get excited. Somewhere in between is where I try to head but get very few responses.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Ive read some womens profiles that basically say" I love sex and cant get enough nsa"so they probably dont mind messages that are straight up dirty talk. Then you have others that state they wont reply to anyone with a dick pic as a profile pic. So its a case of reading the profile and understanding their limits I suppose. Im my case, over 2 yrs online, I have changed and gone through different fazes of what I was interested in. Did the top shelf hitting above my weight. Did the one off stage just because they were physically hot,focussed on certain guys specifically with fetishes that I was interested in at the time. Then went back to looking for one fwb that I connected with mentally/emotionally.was attracted to bald guys with goaties for a time, then hairy chests. Throw in a dominant faze, followed by a sub type faze. Then guys had to be bi.Back peddled and went back to being attracted to vanilla guys.... So many changes in what I was looking for. Not sure if thats a typical female thing on here, but Ive seen the same thing with women I know here, and weve talked about how weve changed,but its been my journey. But Ive been selective at the time in what I was attracted to,not fussy as such.( i dont think so anyway)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I usually send one message and if Ive had no reply. I never bother again. There are a couple I have messaged a second time because there profile and pictures get me redlining in the pants. I'm not one to push though and even if Ive managed to attract a few exchanges with one girl they'll switch off and Im left wondering. Which is why Ive added the last paragraph to my profile. Who knows? But then I struggle to even get a smile out of women walking by in the street. Whenever I make eye contact with someone I find attractive I usually flash a nice smile just to say high but most women look away. Hmph. Maybe I look like a serial killer these days. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'delvin71'But then I struggle to even get a smile out of women walking by in the street. Whenever I make eye contact with someone I find attractive I usually flash a nice smile just to say high but most women look away. Hmph. Maybe I look like a serial killer these days. Thats the problem.... they think you're on meth.

  • thirstywa

    thirstywa

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Bearly' I am only a guest member, but i try to always reply to flirts and messages, as I think that if people take the time to send them, its only fair to reply to them.......i have seen some great profiles of late.......call me a perve, but I am only a mere cougar and love the young guys who check my profile out... Same as you Bearly I love getting a flirt and messages from people puts a nice big smile on my dial thinking someone is thinking the same way I am. Though I dont get as may as I would like lol.

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    9 years ago

    I fully understand your reasoning as pointed out in your post, and I would say that it is perhaps due to the fact that you are / were new to site, with the inundation of interest. When that has subsided somewhat to more 'normal' levels of interest, you may feel somewhat differently. Again, I also appreciate the sentiment towards members who simply do not match your criteria and do not express their interest in a positive manner, or just mail you with a generic "wanna root" type response. But perhaps the lack of acknowledgement is just a generational thing. Upon going through the responses on this posting, I've noted that the more "mature" ladies tend to appreciate being contacted, and are more willing to show a courteous response, whether that be positive or negative, as a simple acknowledgement that we are all valued as people. Tall

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I have had a few messages but it's few and far between. So unfortunately you don't know if your profile is not up to scratch, or its due to the women:men ratio, or there just isn't a match. It is also frustrating when you do send messages and even a flirt just to say you liked the profile, but get very few responses.. It's just not an even keel despite the handful of Ladies that do take the time, and to them, thank you. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    It isn't that chicks don't send messages/winks. Just because we look at a profile doesn't mean we "must" then contact! Most guys in my experience preferences in women are much broader than that of a woman's preferences in a guy, mainly because many more guys don't have any pride in their appearance and don't look after themselves and that is a massive turn off! We aren't looking for lasting relationships but in order to sleep with someone there needs to be a physical attraction. And also when we receive messages from singles (either gender) and our profile clearly states we are not looking for that it's actually rude on their part so why should I respond?! Guys need to realise women aren't feeble idiots and if we want you we will message you, and if we don't then we won't, and if we haven't then what does logic tell you?! I'm sure single chicks get a heap of messages on here. They probably don't have the time to spend their whole day sending "thank but no thanks" to 50 messages just so your feelings don't get hurt! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Bulgy

    Bulgy

    9 years ago

    I have been following this off and on and will apologise in advance if I repeat anything that people have said already. I wild not cut and paste nor mention who said what but acknowledge that some people have brought up several valid points. Some I agree with, some not necessarily. All are valid from some perspective. Obviously attitudes have been shaped by peoples individual experiences. My 2cents. Firstly, Ratios were mentioned very early in the conversation. Ratios. 78:11 I think was used. Rounded up and down 4:1. This will be higher for country regions and lower for some cities. I read this this morning. Perth where I live was 7:1 and is currently 4:1. This is not proportional to the population of Australia which I believe is 104:101. This is not typical of the world. Again, I believe globally Australia has a larger population of men where as most of the world favours women. 2nd point I would like to make, & I kind of had my suspicions. Is the overwhelming number of emails women get. 200 in 4 days. Struth, (I know who says that?) I thought there would have been a few based on the ratios but I did not really expect that. It is somewhat similar to the gym I go to. We are all very social. We all say hello, we all chat, we all spot each other. We hate the music but we don't wear earphones. We are social. However, there are very few females. I am disappointed and it is so very few that ruin it. As soon as a female walks in, the young buck puffs his chest, he meanders around proximal to her location, and raises his voice enough to be noticed & annoying. Finally the young buck gets in her way, he takes up her mirror space, he runs next to her on the treadmill after not showering all day (there are 10 other treadmills available). The ladies last about 2 weeks. I wish it was just the members that were idiots but complaints have been made about the staff too. Why would she want to hang around? It must be amusing to the ladies on here to observe the primitive reptile brain in action. Third, Behaviour. If I was receiving 50 emails a day I wouldn't have time to reply let alone initiate a message. Other behaviours such as name calling. Why would any woman stay on here if she gets called names for not replying. No wonder the ratio is disproportionate. I was guilty of the bad email myself, not crass or disrespectful, never name calling but too enthusiastic. I had found a place where people were being open. I will too. Slow down big fella came one reply. I apologise to the ladies that I emailed in my haste to express this freedom. (you can unblock me now, lol) I email occasionally. I look more than I email. There is a reason but we are not here to address that. It is not voyeurism. I email when I am genuinely interested. I will email women that are NOT looking for me. I don't call them names because they are not looking for me and have not replied. Why do bother to email knowing they won't reply? I email because I am looking for them. I email because the odds are against me. I am short, I am not my height, I am bald, I am not my hair (there is a story that goes with my hair so perhaps I am somewhat) I am not ripped and guess what? I am not my abs. Sorry, had em, don't care. I am strong & can bed wrestle. I am on the wrong side of forty. I'm not but... lets assume I am. I am youthful, not immature. My gf's have all been youthful. So again I don't look bad. With age comes wisdom, peace, love and understanding. Old age and treachery beats youth and ability. I email because so many women are guests and I give them the opportunity to reply if they choose. IF THEY CHOOSE.This is not about equal opportunity and women not wanting to take the lead. I am sure they will if they see something they like. If they are not, the market is saturated & we are pedalling the wrong product. Why don't women message men?They simply don't have too.

  • horse5

    horse5

    9 years ago

    Guys like woman who are up front and not shy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Hi... Just back from 5 weeks of Type A Flu... Finally me again.... Not to be disrespectful in ANY way... Men have been happy to chase women for millennia and women have known that they have the edge and choice and have been well aware of the fact. The same goes here (NOT FOR ALL, but for some). Why would a woman buy membership (if she wasn't inclined to or didn't want to access the things it allows) when she knows a pile of blokes are going to be messaging if they want to get her attention? Some women actually have it in their profiles... "NO FLIRTS, MEASSAGES ONLY!!!" - I've seen it many times. (I SAID "SOME") On the other hand, times being as they now are, some women DO message men. I've received some messages and been very flattered and felt great to be approached by a lady on such a site... Maybe in time (many decades), there will be real equality and men will no longer be 'expected' to make the first move (in MOST cases) and women won't be afraid to, for whatever reason, be it fear of being considered too forward or being frightened of appearing to keen??? I do know (through discussion with a couple of ladies at a 'meet and greet' (for a Vanilla site), that they don't buy membership because they know the men will pay to approach them... (And I'm not suggesting that this is the case on here... just a general statement about an experience about the sexes in general). Besides all that. I don't mind paying... I'm a bit old fashioned anyway...

  • Dimeshreds

    Dimeshreds

    9 years ago

    I have only ever used this site to find sex partners not actual life partners, do I think it possible to find a life partner on here yes I do but it would not and is not my avenue of choice. CT Men don't have the types of lengthy thought process that you seem to have and I find it a confusing scenario.

  • Dimeshreds

    Dimeshreds

    9 years ago

    I like to be approached by women or couples, it shows that they like something they see and want to pursue it. My method due to the ratio against my kind is to message everyone I remotely think I could enjoy time with and see who bites then strike up a conversation if they reply. Women would not do this so it makes it special to receive a message from a lady.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Dimeshreds' I like to be approached by women or couples, it shows that they like something they see and want to pursue it. My method due to the ratio against my kind is to message everyone I remotely think I could enjoy time with and see who bites then strike up a conversation if they reply. Women would not do this so it makes it special to receive a message from a lady. "it IS 'special' to be approached... Whenever I've been approached on here, on a Vanilla site or in public... Even when a woman gives you a compliment about looks, build, or anything remotely 'personal', it's special... Simply because we're not used to it. Not my generation and from what I read, it's still the same. Just a quick note that you all know anyway... We men have egos too and it's wonderful when they get a boost and awful when they are rejected or worse, negatively commented about. I suspect that men's egos are more fragile than women's... Not just in the ONE OBVIOUS area... but in general.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Yes, I always feel special when a lady contacts me first on RHP. Strange seeing it happens more often in real life but that one of the quirks of an on line lifestyle. I've found, if you can back it up, an outgoing attitude will gain attention from the opposite sex, not all of it wanted but always appreciated. Women have it so much easier in this respect.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I think that women can be just as equally sexually dominant/aggressive as guys are, you all just hide it for some reason (FEAR, I suspect). Fear of rejection. Fear of being labelled. Fear of 'putting yourself out there'. Fear of it being taken the wrong way. Fear of 'making the first move'. But men have been going through the that for over a Millenia- time for a little role reversal methinks. In short, no, I've never had a bad experience, or would be put off, by a woman making the first move. I actually ADORE that quality trait in a woman's psyche.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I've been thinking as I've been reading a lot of the posts I skipped earlier (there are many)... I've been asked to dance at functions and clubs, I've been asked if I'd like a drink on a few occasions over the last 2 - 3 years. Not so long ago, I was kissing one lady and all of a sudden, her female friend grabbed both of us and it turned into a three way 'pash' (is that still a word in use?) in the middle of a Venue. I've been asked to dinner and asked to accompany someone I hardly knew (met once) to a wedding... So, it seems that, compared to say... 20 - 30 years ago (when I was 27 - 37), it has changed quite a lot. At least in these areas, women my age and within say 10 years younger) are accepting and taking action and just doing things they wouldn't have dreamed of back then. So, maybe the worm is turning and true 'equality' (at least in the 'dominance department), women are becoming more 'aggressive'. I think I mentioned before that I'd been messaged and flirted, but not very often. Hopefully, it's a trend that will continue to grow and women won't be averse to it for whatever the reason may be now.

  • 0h0y0nicba

    0h0y0nicba

    9 years ago

    Could fear of rejection play a larger part of this? Most blokes are used to and can handle rejection, but most women I know take it as a deeply personal slight. Women now have such a vast selection of guys to choose from and can afford to be very picky and have such high expectations. I am almost ready to join the MGTOW ranks!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Woman that msg men all for it. Love women that no what they want, we can get straight to the fun. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    In the REAL WORLD women seduce men, not the other way around. You only have to travel to those nations where the government DOESN'T blackmail the men and takes their money (aka "taxation") and then gives it to the women through different channels. You can see the huge difference that makes in the behavior of the women... In this TEMPORARY, ARTIFICIAL NANNY STATE we are currently living in, the women get everything they need to live from the government which blackmails it from the men. So women here have no more need for men DIRECTLY. They get the money, goods and services INDIRECTLY via government. Naturally the women have unlearned to seduce men...from lack of practice... from lack of need to practice.... They are now married to the government and they obey the government...whereas a hundred years earlier - when families were strong and governments weak - the women were obeying their husbands... When you travel to those nations with proper liberties, low taxation and no welfare, you see the women really hunting for men. They smile at men, they seduce, they want your number, they call you, they really make an effort. They want to obey the men. They couldn't care less about the size of a man's dick. They want good men who provide. There is no government there that gives them what they need to live... When you come back to Australia - a country of very few liberties, very high taxation and very high welfare - you then realize, why most women completely ignore you: They don't need you. They only need the fruits of your labor. And they get that FROM YOU anyway as the government takes it from you with force and gives it to them. They get everything they need to live...Clean roads, security, buildings, transport, energy, foods, everything. And when they want sex, they choose the baddest men they can find. Why bother with good men? The good men provide them with good products and good services, so now they can fuck the bad men who are useless for anything else...That's cooler...But when they get bashed by the bad men whom THEY HAVE CHOSEN IN FULL FREEDOM (talk about stupidity... ), then they blame ALL men again, the good ones too... Then they run to the good men, cry and scream and demand from them to punish the bad ones. Soon after they will go back to the bad ones. I've seen it many times... There simply is no medicine against an acute lack of brain cells. I stopped helping women who get bashed a long time ago. I don't interfere anymore. They deserve it. They have BLATANTLY IGNORED so many good men throughout their lives. In countries with proper liberties, low taxation and no welfare women have to make a real, humble effort and be nice to men or they get nothing and end up homeless. And nobody has pity for them either, because a disobedient woman is considered a lemon in the real world. A failure. Just like a man who is capable to work but too lazy for it. This 50 year wave of feminism we've had in the Western world ONLY, will be over in probably less than a decade. Look at North America and Europe. Feminism is falling apart fast now. Prostitute rates in Germany are now as low as 20 Euros a fuck. All over Europe prostitute rates are falling. They are directly related to the level of feminism in society. The more expensive the prostitutes, the more feminist is society. Supply and demand. Although the supply is POTENTIALLY here in Australia, the majority of women are rotten spoiled at the moment. It's fair to say that it is a POOR supply in Australia and that explains why so many good, working men can't find a woman in this country. So after many years of loneliness, sadness and desperation they turn to overseas women, naturally. Some kill themselves, the poor blokes... If you go to nations with many liberties, low taxation and no welfare, you will hardly find a good, decent, working man who is single. Just about every normal, decent man has a wife there. However it's going to change rapidly in the Western world in the coming years. When the government goes bankrupt and Centerlink closes down, there will be the big turnaround. Then, very soon the women will learn to be humble and obedient to men again... or starve... That kind of increased effort and bettering of their attitude is likely going to shed all that disgusting, excess fat, many of them are carrying around, at the same time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Tony, is that you ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Sch73 you are here and not in one of those countries without lazy disrespectful women..and you are attached...curious ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    You're spot on.! Highly erudite, and very esoteric. I get what you're saying completely. Unfortunately, not many people read the right stuff or will research what you're saying in order to come to these logical reasonings- they'll just belittle & rebuff you, cut you down- it's just easier because they do not understand (cognitive dissonance). They haven't seen enough of the "system" & what it does... (And even funnier, they will DEFEND BLINDLY & UNQUESTIONABLY, that same "system" like they have some vested interest in it 😂😂)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Sch73'In the REAL WORLD women seduce men, not the other way around. Australian women are married to the government So that's what I'm doing wrong.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Sch73' When you travel to those nations with proper liberties, low taxation and no welfare, you see the women really hunting for men. They smile at men, they seduce, they want your number, they call you, they really make an effort. They want to obey the men. They couldn't care less about the size of a man's dick. They want good men who provide. There is no government there that gives them what they need to live... they sound more like desperate hookers after your cash and willing to suck it out of you via your cock... which I guess is a more enjoyable way to have it taken, but I prefer women that don't reek of desperation and who would suck it for fun, not because of a cash bonus.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Heaps of women would love to be married to Malcolm 😝xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    So let me get this straight... according to your spiel, it's only men who pay tax in this country? Thanks for the heads up. I'll be getting onto the payroll people first thing on Monday, & demanding that they immediately refund the substantial amount of money that comes off my salary every month and subsequently gets passed onto the tax office. Awesome!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    That rant will have the women here lining up for a root. Gold.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ~jumps on couch~

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    If the roles were reversed, as a woman, given the choice - where would you rather be? Here, or in one of those countries that you speak so highly of - as one of those women?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    You may have swayed me, if only I could be bothered looking up all those difficult words you're using. Maybe you could explain it to me in terms a woman can understand?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    The biggest words there are- 'completely', meaning; Absolute, thorough. And the other big long word there was- 'unfortunately', meaning; having bad luck, unlucky. Anything else, I find The Free Dictionary APP a very big help. 😉 -Enjoy your research- {Cognitive dissonance is AN ABSOLUTE DOOZIE on Dr Google}

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Wannabe psuedo-intellectuals always make me laugh

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    misogynistic men who apparently think it's much preferable for women have no choice other than to fuck them for their money, rather than because they actually like them and attracted to them. Of course, you also find that it's usually these same men who whinge about 'gold-digging' women who suck men dry and only want them for their money. Talk about cognitive dissonance

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Means only taught to or understood by members of a special group, no? A very special group indeed.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'VWGolfGTIQIK20Z' I find The Free Dictionary APP a very big help. 😉 - I do suggest you try Merriam-Webster next time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Sch73' This 50 year wave of feminism we've had in the Western world ONLY, will be over in probably less than a decade. Look at North America and Europe. Feminism is falling apart fast now. Being European and all.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Is why Queensland women don't message men..No wonder so many women here want to go west xxFreys

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    YouTube- Bill Burr. You People Are All The Same. It's an hour long COMEDY SHOW with a social conscious message. This way you'll laugh and be educated at the same time. {watch how this will be taken, and twisted, and spun, chopped apart, taken out of context 😂} Pseudo intellectual~ "because EVERYONE has to be dumber than me, in order for me to shine". That's me done. *over and out*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ...is also a great source of honest definitions, y'know... 😆

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'VWGolfGTIQIK20Z'"because EVERYONE has to be dumber than me, in order for me to shine". That's me done. *over and out* I think you said it perfectly.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    - that's the pseudo intellectual alright 😉___👍

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I had a very sexy mature woman msg me today I thought it was great just a quick hi from this lovely lady it made my day - Posted from rhpmobile

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