F70
Why don't women message men?
September 22 2015
Comments
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Supposedly the age of equality. So therefore women should be fine with firing off a few messages. I'm sure guys receiving them would be delighted.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It strikes me as I suppose almost hypocrisy in this day and age of equality the one thing that has not changed or changed very little is a woman approaching a man. It is such a pleasant thing when a woman contacts you, whether online or in the real world. Sometimes one gets a little sick and tired of attempting to make the first contact.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Ive received messages initiating contact.......But I get sooooo tired of women messaging me the same frikken thing, like.... "hi sexy luv yr pics, hows ur day?' or saying... "Im in town for the weekend staying in a hotel, come over and we can fuck" or... "you're hot, wanna meet, I stay wet all night and will make you squirt" or... "I want to cum all over your chest" Im not just a giant sausage with feet you know....... I have feelings too !~ DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
When I was actively looking to meet new people, I got membership so I could contact some of the guest members that appealed to me. . Now I have membership so I can message friends. Oh and look at all the pretty pictures. 😎
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' Supposedly the age of equality. So therefore women should be fine with firing off a few messages. I'm sure guys receiving them would be delighted. What she said, and.... as I said elsewhere today if you want equality and not just the cream you have to live it, and that means taking a deep breath and putting yourself out there. Doesn't have to be all the time but at least when you see someone compelling.But few will.
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OkeyDoke45
9 years ago
I'm the same, I see women look repeatedly at my profile but never message me. I send them a message to get the ball rolling. Then it gets even more confusing because most times they don't message back (which is fine, they don't have to) but continue to repeatedly look at your profile. The same applies when they actually do message you back saying they're not interested (which has only ever been the case so far) but one again, look at your profile repeatedly. This site kind of does your head in a bit like that. It is annoying that not one woman has done the initial messaging, despite apparently being interested.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If you use the phone app and swip past individual profiles, it will show as a view. Very confusing to many.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If I see someone who spikes my interest I message him - might send a wink first before a message but I do..
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RHP User
9 years ago
For the women who have trouble finding respectful men, especially based on the messages they receive, perhaps a role reversal - profile search and messaging - would help that? Maybe it's the men that haven't messaged you that are more promising? Disrespectful men are happy to spread nonsense as they simply care less about the response. The good men might simply be unsure of success. I guarantee you these men would be at least flattered by direct attention initiated by the woman. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
it's their loss if they choose not to.... I'll still be busy pursuing my interests both in and out of the bedroom with or without their message.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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aussian43
9 years ago
I have had messages from ladies before. It does seem to be rare though. I expect as soon as a lady joins she gets bombarded with messages, so she can pick and chose from those who have initiated contact instead of needing to search out someone to meet her needs.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes men will actually answer a wink !
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RHP User
9 years ago
With the ratio of men to women in RHP (I've read 78:22 men to women) I'm assuming most women get a good choice of guys that they would like to communicate with, and don't need to approach guys first, but I have certainly appreciated it when they have.
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RHP User
9 years ago
But to be honest, in real life or online, I prefer to be noticed and approached first so I know your interest in me is genuine rather than opportunistic. Don't you think we all feel like that ? It works both ways, and it's a lot more productive than viewing someone three times in a row ! I know it's scary putting your ego on the line but if you want equality and not just the cream you have to live it. Yeah I'm sure there are men out there who feel the same way as I do. I'm just one person, trying to figure out the best way to find people who will treat me the way I deserve. We all have to figure out how to navigate the minefield that is dating and relationships, and we do it our own way, taking our own broken path, learning from mistakes, trying things out to see what works for us. I'm still on my path for sure, but this is what's behind my preference not to make the first moves: For me, I'm naturally very enthusiastic, forward and sexually assertive, so when I was younger, If I liked you, goddamn would you know it. I'd be on your lap before you could even get up to come and talk to me. What this led to was a series of relationships with guys who were 7/10 keen on me, while I was like a puppy, 10/10 into you all the time and can I lick your face? It was only after some good old head-crunching about how I went about things, that I realised I wasn't allowing space for the men who might be REALLY into me the way I want them to be, because I was blocking their path with men who were just taking a good thing while it was cooking for them. This is why now, even though I might want to jump on you and lick your face, I will play it cool and wait to see what you do first. I still let the puppy out, I just keep her on a leash at the start. But honestly I am a big believer and exerciser of equality (as much as possible between two different things). So despite my preferences, I follow my instincts about people which sometimes lead me to making the first moves. It's not like I won't message men first, I have done and will do again. And I don't know why anyone would use profile views as a secret way to communicate, that doesn't make much sense at all and definitely not my style.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sure, totally get it, but there is a middle ground it doesn't and shouldn't be all or nothing, just like for us men a first contact doesn't have to be "wanna fuck" it could simply be "you seem interesting, want to chat" followed by the "now let's make him earn it game". The only point I'm trying to make is that it's more dynamic and interesting when it's a two way street. And I have no doubt that there will be a learning curve for all. Profile views are the tactic of the guest and the shy and the troll.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not often and always have been met with the sound of silence...I asked a fellow forum poster what he thought about this and was told that I am basically past my use by date...so that is why I no longer bother..reality bites..ouch xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wow, interesting stats @firesteve. I have a busy inbox but I like to check out other profiles. I don't often instigate a message conversation so may send a flirt (even though I have always been a member) to indicate my interest.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
"Why don't women message men?" doesn't apply to me, Freya, because I do initiate the first contact when I see an eye catching quality male profile, but that is very rare and I haven't seen one for a while :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
and I will again. Message men that is. I don't do it often. Sometimes it is in response to a post which catches my eye, and the profile catches my eye even more. Other times it is in response to meeting a man at a meet and greet or another social occasion, so prior contact has piqued my interest enough to establish communication and see what happens from there. There's been a couple of negative experiences from overzealous men who seem to believe that a message from a woman equals guaranteed sex within 48 hours. My contact with those men ceases pretty quickly
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RHP User
9 years ago
In here: IF I'm compelled to for whatever reason, I have done, with no negative experiences. In real life: Again, if I'm compelled to for whatever reason, I have no problem initiating - well I kinda have to really and there's nothing in that, it's just if I don't, chances are they think either I'm already taken, or not interested (due to being totally focussed in whatever it is I'm doing or who I'm with at the time) ... so I'm told. Life's waaaay too short. If you don't ask, you don't know and I'm not one to die wondering. I just don't place any expectations on any given outcome - it is what it is til it aint.
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RHP User
9 years ago
not sure about everyone else, but I get women who message me. Don't quite understand this subject. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's a shame that common curtesy, politeness and manners seem to disappear online, I always appreciate a response, even when it's a not interested one. When I was 31, I dated someone in their 40's and since have dated lots of women older than me and don't have an issue with age, it's the person that counts, not now long they have been on this world.
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Insomnian
9 years ago
Far as I knew just about every 2nd woman on here was a guest, with the all too common line in their profile " I'm only a guest so message me" or. " I'm old fashioned and believe the guy should initiate contact first" usually just code for, men outweigh woman in numbers here so why should I pay for membership? I'm not saying this goes for all the woman on this site, but for a fair percentage. Far as do I care if they message me first or vice versa, nope. If you're interested and want to chat, message, if you're not, then don't. Same as if I see someone I find interesting Or they post a topic I'd prefer to comment on directly to them, I'll send a message.
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Appears society demands it nowadays, even in Politics, and rightfully so too. Some people though appear to want the best of both worlds !!!! I believe women should be able to message and have correspondence / discussions and therefore search and meet people they are interested in. (and/or discard/delete those they are not)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't subscribe to traditional gender roles (obviously) and I certainly don't operate on the basis that a femme can't be the person to initiate contact in the real world. On sites like RHP though, I find I don't have to even look to initiate due to the skewed gender ratio. That's also why I am still a guest member. I find I simply don't need to because men will always message me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Not often and always have been met with the sound of silence...I asked a fellow forum poster what he thought about this and was told that I am basically past my use by date...so that is why I no longer bother..reality bites..ouch xxFreya Firesteve has our stats at 78:1 (feels more like 500:1 some days ;) ...... but I would suggest that as we chronologically progress ..... the ratio rapidly changes for female to males in the 55 to 65 bracket making it a more level playing field ... for a few reasons. ...... performance being an issue for many men given this is swing/date site. ... so I wonder whether they/we retire to companionship type romance sites ..... eeek ... So freya .... if you advertised your vegan spelt pizza and gluten free beer meet and greet for 50s-60s ... I feel sure that you would have a surprising turn out! ... its just marketing ?? ps I crave artichokes on my pizza ;)
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Missb4u
9 years ago
sometimes just to say sexy hot pic sometimes if something they posted caught my attention sometimes to see if they are interested in meeting up
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RHP User
9 years ago
Rarely a day goes by where interaction does not take place this end. I prefer off the cuff, 1 on 1 chat, unexpected etc. Online stuff, really - who cares. EG: Some who are with it and visiting town want the heads up etc. Doesn't mean I will be their tour guide, I have a life as well lol.
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On_Safari
9 years ago
But the men I'm attracted to are few and far between hence rarely visiting the site anymore and no longer being financial.....it's just got too hard and not in a good way either.... I think I'm going to revert back to meeting people the old fashioned way across a crowded room....just hope they don't think I have something in my eye when I wink and smile at them.....😏
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RHP User
9 years ago
mostly men I've seen post on the forums whose comments I appreciate. I also check out their profiles first but that doesn't mean I won't message them and tell them I liked their comment. I also message men whose physique I like, just to give them a compliment. I do like eye candy . I behave like this in real life too.
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happy0450
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Not often and always have been met with the sound of silence...I asked a fellow forum poster what he thought about this and was told that I am basically past my use by date...so that is why I no longer bother..reality bites..ouch xxFreya I feel RHP reflects life as a whole. Generally great, but expect the occasional skinned heart or knee. So, don't be put off :) Re women and couples initiating contact.. lovely when it happens from a good match, however the reality is the are five times the guys seeking woman and couples than the reverse so not surprising many woman and couples don't feel the need or have the time to initiate.
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RHP User
9 years ago
i have had flirts from female and couples who are guests, message them back then silence but continue to view my profile. It gets frustrating at times but hey that's life. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
9 years ago
women have messaged us, mostly because of my posts and the way I speak for Tara, just friendly chit chat and it is always a pleasant surprise. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
My lover found me and I responded...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sometimes it's to do with my confidence (or lack of).
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RHP User
9 years ago
I reply to all men here, not on facebook though cause a lot of sick puppies out there sending cockshots in my inbox all the time lol. However here I more have trouble with couples, they write to me, I reply then don't hear from them again. With men its time consuming and frustrating as a lot feel you should be meeting them straight away, I have to sort these type of men out. Some get totally frustrating continually asking every message. yes I love sex but I want to be friends and have a connection before anyone gets any benefits. Wish more would read my profile correctly about my wants and needs. Im very forward about everything I want and expect, I hide nothing and let them question things. I do expect that in return. Honestly and not losing it with women is always a good thing, some just get pissy if you say no.
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RHP User
9 years ago
One which should never be answered when there is a male audience involved. Needless to say... Freya... There is a very important reason with a veeeery long history why some of us don't. And until women are, actually, valued as much as men are, the reasons why shall remain a mystery. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
I never chase. Purely for the reason that i need to be 100% sure they are interested in me for what i am. I am an aquired taste. Opportunistic response to a message from me can make for awkward hookups. Not to say i dont contact fellow forumites for a chat. And yes women do message me which i think should be considered normal sexual equality, not an invite for immediate urgent frenzy to try and hookup. Respect both ways no matter who messages first.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'Countrychic1962' mostly men I've seen post on the forums whose comments I appreciate. I also check out their profiles first but that doesn't mean I won't message them and tell them I liked their comment. I also message men whose physique I like, just to give them a compliment. I do like eye candy . I behave like this in real life too. I s'pose CC, that with all those married / attached obese beer gutted smokers around your way, you probably don't get too much practice in real life, eh ? Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'morganaschild' One which should never be answered when there is a male audience involved. Needless to say... Freya... There is a very important reason with a veeeery long history why some of us don't. And until women are, actually, valued as much as men are, the reasons why shall remain a mystery. - Posted from rhpmobile That's a joke right ? Men aren't valued, men are disposable, to many, single men are a pest.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would love to receive a message form a woman. I would actually appreciate people responding as it leaves you wondering if you should message again but as a male I know women and couple are inundated with messages but to stop getting bombarded just message back and say sorry but not interested or yes we are. I have had a couple of people take my number and then txt so we got to know each other and now we see each other from time to time. A little courtesy goes a long way :-) Just saying
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RHP User
9 years ago
I love it when I get messages from women it makes you feel great instead of u messaging all the time I love being chased too - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't mind the woman making the first move. A confident woman doesn't scare me at all, I actually like confident women. Just wish more would lol. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd love to receive messages from all the wonderful, gorgeous ladies on this site but only being a guest member at this stage (I'll have to change that) probably isn't overly appealing. I'd also love to message and break the ice with a few beautiful ladies I've seen on this site. I'll just have to upgrade ASAP. Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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ready4allfun
9 years ago
Would be very happy for a lady to message me 😄 come on ladies get typing lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Nevertooold1962' I would love to receive a message form a woman. I would actually appreciate people responding as it leaves you wondering if you should message again but as a male I know women and couple are inundated with messages but to stop getting bombarded just message back and say sorry but not interested or yes we are. I have had a couple of people take my number and then txt so we got to know each other and now we see each other from time to time. A little courtesy goes a long way :-) Ummm I do have to call BS here.I have answered your message and asked you if you could put more pics up rather than side on shots where I cant see who Im talking to. You are the one that stopped talking lol Just saying
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RHP User
9 years ago
it's always nice to be contacted just wish it happened more! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well if i was messaged, i think its only proper to respond to the message and its kind of flattering to recieve a message which you havent initiated
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am happy to put some more shots up when I have time and sadly you are only one out of possibly ten people that have messaged me and I appreciate that you did. It is just sad there are lots of guys out there that have ruined it for the sincere ones that are single and have no baggage. And expect a message from me shortly :-) One issue I do find with the messaging on here is some people read between the lines and it is easy to misread what is typed as there is no emotions in the typed txt
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ZZzzzzz88
9 years ago
I always approach first, its easy to decide whom you want to talk and meet :)
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indulge_you
9 years ago
Occasionally I get a Flirt from a lady. So you send them a message frequently they are too impolite to even answer. Women have all the power on here. They only send messages if they choose too.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Quoting 'pleasure_sor' not sure about everyone else, but I get women who message me. Don't quite understand this subject. - Posted from rhpmobile I think the same...I don't understand either I have sent a first message to some truly astonishing men. I know as I have met them. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wet
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RHP User
9 years ago
Women messaging men is fine by me. If a lady notices a guy why not message. If he hasn't seen her profile yet, she is just getting a jump on the game. My problem is with the ones who think they are better than everyone else and have the quote " If I don 't reply, it's a No" Hello??? What ever happened to common decency, just a polite, thanks but no would not take long. If you are a good looking lady on here, yeah you'll get heaps of offers that's what it is all about. If that upsets you, don't post real sexy photos.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm one of those women who has 'if I don't reply to your message, please take that as no thanks'. I don't have it there because I think I'm 'better than everyone else', but because some men don't take a rejection reply very well at all. Some of the responses I've had when I've turned a guy down have been so nasty they made me feel sick to my stomach. That type of response was very much in the minority, but still enough to make me have the disclaimer in my profile. And yes, I've been gender specific - that's simply because I only get messages from men. I'm sure there are women out there who are equally poor at handling rejection. Apologies for going off topic OP.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Would suggest that this is a subject of interest here...many new posters have been inspired to comment..of course it would be ridiculous to suggest that there are no women messaging men..female guests have their one message a week back but still don't use it to be proactive not reactive ..most men have said they would love to receive an unsolicited message from a woman,so perhaps that might be an inspiration for those women who feel a little reluctant xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
you say hi how are you blah blah blah....the least ladies could do is say thanks for your message but not what im looking for. etc. its just downrite rude when people dont have the decency to at least aknowledge your message.They read your message then nothing .....just how rude are people
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'indulge_you' Occasionally I get a Flirt from a lady. So you send them a message frequently they are too impolite to even answer. Women have all the power on here. They only send messages if they choose too. This.... makes no sense. I only send messages to the people I choose to send them to, as well!(Unless RHP somehow sends messages written by me to people I don't choose???!!!!!)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get messages from women. Some are good ,some are a bit bland ,a mixed bag as I imagine they are for women receiving them. One thing I do note is that they are rarely ever ,I'm sorry to say, entertaining. but that's fine ,I think women ,especially on sites like this, are just very used to not having to be entertaining to get a guy's interest as here you're definitely at least keen for a hook up if nothing else. The messages I've received on sites like OKCupid from women tend to have a bit more effort put into them. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was a paid member for several months just got a bit tired of no reading my messages or no replies, sadly it probably equated to nearly 80% of the messages I sent and no they were not generic. I found their profiles interesting and I'm not talking about their photos. I'd love it if men had the same privilege as women here with one free message as a guest, at least the lady you wrote to may feel you see something worthwhile in her as she was the recipient of your one freebie.
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blackbig
9 years ago
In this modern age, it should not matter who initiate the contact. I actually like it 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'TisonlyI' I was a paid member for several months just got a bit tired of no reading my messages or no replies, sadly it probably equated to nearly 80% of the messages I sent and no they were not generic. I found their profiles interesting and I'm not talking about their photos. I'd love it if men had the same privilege as women here with one free message as a guest, at least the lady you wrote to may feel you see something worthwhile in her as she was the recipient of your one freebie. Know exactly how you feel. Actually have been a paid up member a few times during my time, and generally got the same apathy as you describe. Explains why I've only been a guest for a number of years now, and only play in the forums. Tall
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ballsnurcourt
9 years ago
This is my first time in the forum...be gentle As a member i have the privilege of sending messages, I read profiles and take time to construct a message that may be appropriate to start a conversation. I may get a reply, about one in 10, then we may start chatting using messages, all of a sudden it stops, all of the control is with the one receiving the message . I have suggested using an alternative chatting app but had no response. I am am probably just like a lot of other guys on here, i just want to have a conversation and get to know some one, why is it so hard. Balls
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RHP User
9 years ago
Late last year I got a message from a woman out of the blue. Its the only time Id ever got one that wasn't initiated by me. It was a simple message saying how she liked some of the things on my profile. I actually thought it was fake and was a bit short in my first few replies to her, before I realised she was real. Luckily it turned out ok! Havent had one since!
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Kattss
9 years ago
Sometimes...but it's usually with a flirt and now I'm a trial member again, That's all there is...lots of my flirts get ignored too... Do guys ignore flirts and prefer messages?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was a premium plus for 12 months with 50 free messages per day in that time I sent out 5 messages to guys that took my liking meet all 5 I think and 4 of them were so vain that I thought why the hell did I bother the other one unfortunately was attached unknown to me until he let the cat out of the bag such a shame as if was single coulda be great catch ... So now I don't bother sending messages Sally - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I send messages, but a profile really has to interest me. Unfortunately that doesn't happen often, and when it does the guy usually lives in a different state. :-\
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'SEXYsally6969' I was a premium plus for 12 months with 50 free messages per day in that time I sent out 5 messages to guys that took my liking meet all 5 I think and 4 of them were so vain that I thought why the hell did I bother the other one unfortunately was attached unknown to me until he let the cat out of the bag such a shame as if was single coulda be great catch ... So now I don't bother sending messages Sally - Posted from rhpmobile There ARE genuine guys around that would certainly appreciate your attention. But, just like for us guys, it's perhaps the luck of the draw as to whether the ones we are attracted to will actually be worthwhile putting some effort into. Unfortunately no guarantees here, but there will be those who are appreciative. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
I haven't read through the whole thread but I haven't had one approach. I get the looked a few times so I message them and no answer thing happening. It could be that they just swiped past me thing as well. The girl to guy ratio is just too far out if whack really. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'OkeyDoke45' I'm the same, I see women look repeatedly at my profile but never message me. I send them a message to get the ball rolling. Then it gets even more confusing because most times they don't message back (which is fine, they don't have to) but continue to repeatedly look at your profile. The same applies when they actually do message you back saying they're not interested (which has only ever been the case so far) but one again, look at your profile repeatedly. This site kind of does your head in a bit like that. It is annoying that not one woman has done the initial messaging, despite apparently being interested. I am only a guest member, but i try to always reply to flirts and messages, as I think that if people take the time to send them, its only fair to reply to them.......i have seen some great profiles of late.......call me a perve, but I am only a mere cougar and love the young guys who check my profile out...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Bearly' Quoting 'OkeyDoke45' I am only a guest member, but i try to always reply to flirts and messages, as I think that if people take the time to send them, its only fair to reply to them.......i have seen some great profiles of late.......call me a perve, but I am only a mere cougar and love the young guys who check my profile out... Im the same, paid member so cant send messages just flirts lol. I reply to all, but if its going nowhere I tell them best of luck with their search unless they are rude then I just don't bother answering anymore.
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Beachtowel53
9 years ago
i would certainly welcome an approach from a lady .....
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's a buyers market in here.
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RHP User
9 years ago
After reading through this thread, I realise my experience on RHP has been similar to most other guys. The only comfort I can offer me fellow sex, is that RHP just like other SocMed us guys will have to provide new content to keep girls interacting with us. To take them by the power of our humour, our intelligence and humility! Brains over brawn! Show the more enlightened girls who don't have a shopping list for the "perfect guy" that the guys who'll make those post cum conversations better, and more likely to lead to another orgasm, are the ones who can stimulate their brains as well as their Cervix! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I just send simple messages like " Hi, How are you?" or "Hey, How was your week?"
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are a paid member of course you can send messages.at least five a day and to anyone.If you are a female guest.you have one message a week BUT you can ONLY send to PAYING males whose criteria you match xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
If someone sparks my interest then I will make contact, I imagine that some women don't because they lack confidence. I assume the ratio from male to female is high so I would think a guy would appreciate the initial contact to be made by a women every now and then. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'Bearly' I am only a guest member, but i try to always reply to flirts and messages, as I think that if people take the time to send them, its only fair to reply to them.......i have seen some great profiles of late.......call me a perve, but I am only a mere cougar and love the young guys who check my profile out... Unfortunately your thinking and actions tend to be of the minority. There have been previous discussions about the courtesy of replying, and not many apparently share your point of view, for one reason or another. Perhaps I look at those situations too simply, but I would say, that, for example, if you approached someone in the street, and they then totally ignored you, how would you feel ? Just because we have the opportunity to approach someone via a keyboard and they can't see us, does that excuse what I consider, to be bad manners ? Tall
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
I appreciate the sentiments you have expressed, but your words are not very likely to lead anywhere positive. Your posting sounds like that of a reasonably new poster, not a 'seasoned' veteran of the site - I don't know how long you've been here, but your posting unfortunately sounds more like wishful thinking. Once your profile has been assessed, it is then entered into the "set and forget" area of the psyche of the ladies - and may only be retrieved if there was anything of particular interest. If that interest wasn't there in the initial reading, more than likely it won't be remembered. Unfortunately brains over brawn doesn't help either - the search for the 'perfect guy' or near perfect will always over-rule. Sad but true. Furthermore, here at least, once you've hit around 45, you pretty much don't stand a chance, regardless of what perceived character traits you may be able to provide. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
but to date they're all from scammers, just about guarantee that a message from a fem is aged between 25 and 38 and has a "to die for profile" of the if its to good to be true nature. They come in from all over the country offering good times but just want to lead you on a sexy dating site sign up spree so they get sign up finders fees and affiliate commission. Of course some of these women are actually men. Really I don't suppose theirs much motivation for a woman to message as they're having a problem just dealing with the quantity they receive from the large number of men and wading through the Chaff to find the wheat.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Full time task to attend the inbox and what time is left is for my box.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's a buyers market, so fourboy: if a woman here has the choice between handfuls of single men and handfuls of married ones, the simple fact is that they might pass you over just because you're attached. Even many women just looking for nsa sex prefer single guys, as they are often deemed more available (source: the forums). Ps I love your bathroom tiles, they're wild! :-D
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' It's a buyers market, so fourboy: if a woman here has the choice between handfuls of single men and handfuls of married ones, the simple fact is that they might pass you over just because you're attached. Even many women just looking for nsa sex prefer single guys, as they are often deemed more available (source: the forums). Ps I love your bathroom tiles, they're wild! :-D I am a single guy however get the same "no reply" to messages. (put it down to me age and regional area, no worries) The few messages that I have received have been from interstate, and I would have to travel 2000km in the middle of nowhere just to meet half way for a coffee. Send very few nowadays, but enjoy the forums
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
appreciate any messages (as see nothing wrong with women messaging) and would reply
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' It's a buyers market, so fourboy: if a woman here has the choice between handfuls of single men and handfuls of married ones, the simple fact is that they might pass you over just because you're attached. Even many women just looking for nsa sex prefer single guys, as they are often deemed more available (source: the forums). From comments of women I've spoken too, aNSD IN THE FORUMS.... .... if the choice is between .... a) grey ghost, no written detail, sends a message saying "lets meet" etc versus b) a profile where the guy has taken the time and put in some effort to complete a profile, add a few "decent" photos, and send a non-offensive message.... .... who do you think will receive they reply?! Sure, it may be a buyers market, but there are usually a LOT of people selling inferior products...... complaining that they're not getting anywhere.
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RHP User
9 years ago
How are you selling yourself? It can be a tough market place in here and most of the buyers are very choosy. So what are you doing to make your product stand out from the rest?
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RHP User
9 years ago
If a complete stranger approached me in the street then of course I will reply with a measure of courtesy. Especially if they are male and bigger than me. That's just common safety sense.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' I appreciate the sentiments you have expressed, but your words are not very likely to lead anywhere positive. Your posting sounds like that of a reasonably new poster, not a 'seasoned' veteran of the site - I don't know how long you've been here, but your posting unfortunately sounds more like wishful thinking. Once your profile has been assessed, it is then entered into the "set and forget" area of the psyche of the ladies - and may only be retrieved if there was anything of particular interest. If that interest wasn't there in the initial reading, more than likely it won't be remembered. Unfortunately brains over brawn doesn't help either - the search for the 'perfect guy' or near perfect will always over-rule. Sad but true. Furthermore, here at least, once you've hit around 45, you pretty much don't stand a chance, regardless of what perceived character traits you may be able to provide. Tall The men I chat to most are all 45 or older and all engage my interest because of their intelligence and humorous chat/exchanges. Even though some of them are on the other side of the country, because I have these connections with them and feel comfortable with our interactions, I wouldn't have a problem having sex with any of them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ive followed this thread with interest, and have agreed with lots that has been said by some of the female posters. However, i disagree with one of the male posters (Tall?) suggesting that replying to messages on rhp is common courtesy and the same as replying to a person who walks up to you on the street. This is for a couple of reasons. 1. Single women are absolutely inundated on here. Please note this is not me or others being arrogant or thinking we are anything but your average gal - its simply a fact. When i first joined rhp i was sent about 200 messages in the first 4 days. (Again, i dont think im anything special- these men didnt know me, so its no reflection on me personally!) If 200 people approached you on the street in 4 days to hit on you i think in fact you would be forgiven for not doing a great job in reply. 2. A lot of men who message me have comptely disregarded (or, not read) my profile. They are outside the parameters i have set in terms of age, being smokers, or attached etc (often all three!) If i was on the street wearing a tshirt or sign that made my likes and dislikes clear i dont think many people would ignore that and approach ;) A lot of women (and men) are on here because they are busy professionals and dont have time to reply to a heap of messages from people They have already politely made clear they are not interested in. They want to narrow the field to people who they feel they will be interested in. If others choose to ignore those parameters, to my mind they dont have much right to complain if the messagee doesnt reply. Its just time saving, sometimes. Just my thoughts - and ive really enjoyed reading others' :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'xeena' If a complete stranger approached me in the street then of course I will reply with a measure of courtesy. Especially if they are male and bigger than me. That's just common safety sense. I was of course just using that as an example of possible contact. In your case, personally, I don't think you'd have to worry too much about running into a man bigger than you - would be very few around I'd imagine . Tall
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Your comments are very heartening, but I would suggest you are very much in the minority on here, unfortunately. Would love to see more ladies with your appreciation and understanding. Naturally my comment was a generalization, but I believe holds reasonably true. Thanks,Tall
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team_Pringle
9 years ago
If they want it then why not message? Women are high maintenance doing this .... That's why we only go for guys.... Mmmm fun and easier - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
"If you approached someone in the street and they totally ignored you, how would you feel" So many men get their panties in a twist when they are ignored. They are so used to real life when women respond to them all the time. Not because these men are interesting individuals, but because they may get nasty if ignored. Especially if you are in a bar or club Online I can talk to men that I want to talk to, and ignore men that I don't want to talk to. One of the best things about being on RHP is that I am safe behind my keyboard while I chat and get to know people.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've had initial messages from women, and have been delighted each time.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If I wore a shirt that said I was only interested in communicating with single men, I'd have no problem ignoring a man with a wedding band asking what I got up to on the weekend. So there. :-P
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RHP User
9 years ago
I do like to receive a message back and even appreciate the ones that say you are not my type sorry or you live too far away. I make sure I thank them for responding as it really isn't that common a thing from my experience.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
I concur whole-heartedly with your sentiment - there probably would be quite a number of men who react badly in those circumstances, and unfortunately that is what they have been accustomed to in their upbringing, and their subsequent expectations in life. But it is swaying away from my original response to Bearly, about the simple 'common' courtesy of acknowledging the contact of a fellow member on site. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
Let's assume that @firesteve's ratio of male to female is correct. Also assume that 95% of men are paid memders who can send at least 5 messages per day. And that 95% of women are guests and can only send 1 message per week. Stick with me while I do the math. I'll try and be gentle. Average no. of messages that men can send per week is 33.3 (=95%×5×7 + 5%×1) Average no. of messages that women can send per week is 2.7 (=95%×1 +5%×5×7) Which gives a ratio of approx 12 to 1. Apply this message ratio to @firesteve's gender ratio. Based on only membership allowances and gender, 98% of messages can be sent by men and 2% by women. xeena
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not many people realise that if you are a platinum member than guests can message you for free (provided they match your criteria). Platinum members may like to add a line to their profile to let guests know and encourage them to message away and not be shy.
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RHP User
9 years ago
*then Damn auto correct.
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