F67
A sense of entitlement
March 22 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
But I'm fine with it. It weeds out the creeps, real quick.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Most of the men that I've met online have not displayed a "sense of entitlement". Even when I have met them in person for coffee, this has been the case . Amy 😊
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uneventful
10 years ago
Have a position of 'sense of entitlement' ... from my experience here. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I exchanged messages with three men..None of them wanted to meet for coffee..one of them wanted a sleep over...And a few weeks ago a message from a man who was coming to Brisbane,he wanted free meals and accommodation...so it seems I should hang a sign out the front of my house..The Free-ya Hooker B&B xxFreya
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aussian43
10 years ago
Modern media, especially the advertising on these sites seems to give some men the impression women are just waiting for the chance to fall into bed with them. Which would explain why the regular posts on here complaining about a lack of response/success with these sites when they approach with that attitude.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Serenity, Uneventful and Freya, I appreciate your contributions. I am glad to hear that you have not had much experience of this Serenity. Uneventful, 60% is far too high a statistic wouldn't you say. And 100% is downright horrific Freya.
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RHP User
10 years ago
To me, as a female of a cpl, i have only had *mostly* good experiences with single men. Yes, a few deluded ppl, but thats life lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
10 years ago
Maybe it is more about expectations more so than entitlement.
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RHP User
10 years ago
most of the men I date only wanna get drunk and go to the footy.... The bastards!!!!! 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Maybe it is more about expectations more so than entitlement. People having expectations. What I am talking about is definitely a sense of entitlement. If you haven't experienced it, that's great.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' most of the men I date only wanna get drunk and go to the footy.... The bastards!!!!! 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile was that their expectation or did they feel entitled to do as they pleased?
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QLDtwo4fun
10 years ago
We have notices the standard of message we get on another website is far more demanding, even though our profile doesn't encourage single men.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Agree with above. Expectations. It's alot to do with their frame of reference and expectations. Perhaps most men joined this site because they purely wanted to have sex lots and lots of unabrided sex, with beautiful sexy women, who are obviously, looking for the same thing, right?. So that skews how they see things. And many interactions could be based on that desire to make sweet sweet love to that gorgeous woman with decadent pics, they are working so deligently on. Their end game might just be inside a pair of silky panties. I guess to change the game a bit, being upfront, if someone is looking for an alternative end game, could change their expectations and sense of entitlement.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It works,one man said ,lets skip coffee and go straight to the main course..if he says that tp 20 women maybe at least one will say yes xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
No no no.. its not like that at all.. This is sex we are talking about, you should be happy for me to offer such, i mean with all the dozens of offers I reject every day you should feel privileged that my attention was diverted your way. Its not a entitlement that i feel, but a sense of duty to for fill your deepest and most hungry desires, (oh yep tell me later) It will only take a few minuets, and when i am done you wont hear from me again, unless off course you ask. Whats 5 minuet in a week for a sexy friend. Next please....
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
The chat rooms, on this site and others, and swingers clubs(when they let single males in) are a very good way to experience first hand, the sense of entitlement that so many men seem to have. Perhaps its the fact that this is a swingers site that gives some men the impression that all women on here and sluts / cum buckets/ sex maniacs / sex workers and that because they (the women and or female half of a couple) are on here, means that they want to be spoken to in a disrespectful manner and approached and solicited in a sexual manner and or without any tact, subtlety and respect ? For example, in the chat rooms one often gets an opening line message, from a so called single male along the lines as follows: Hiya babe , hot pix, wanna suck my cock , sit on my face, let me lick you out and fuck you hard ? And when you decline and ask them if this is their standard opening line, and whether they approach all women and speak to them in this way, their response is : This is a swingers site / swingers club and we are all here for sex and so you must accept my advances ...... and if you dont like it then leave the site and or swingers club Clearly some men feel that they are entitled to speak to women in this manner and that most women enjoy this kind of talk ? On those evenings that they are let into swingers clubs, having paid their $100 to get in, so many of them expect to then get some action for the money they have paid. They dont seem to grasp the fact that the $100 entry fee guarantees them nothing, but simply entry to the venue. It would be cheaper for those kind of men to simply go and hire a hooker - at least that way they will get what they are wanting. So in answer to the OP, yes, 90% of the time when we receive messages from men, both in here, the chat rooms, and even at a swingers club/party, there is certainly a sense of entitlement. Perhaps the guys get horny, and that whilst horny (and as the blood drains from their one brain to their other brain) they lose all inhibitions and the ability to act and behave in a rational and acceptable manner ? Maybe this is what also happens when men rape women ? Ie the men lose control and their sense of entitlement takes over and drives them to overstep the line ? Not all men have badly, there are so good, well mannered ones. But these are few and far between, and its the pushy, disrespectful ones that give a mad name to the nice ones, thereby ruining their chances of positive interaction.
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RHP User
10 years ago
If this was a shop, what kind of shop would it look Like? What goods are on display? What do men come here for? What do they expect from here? when I read your profile to me it seems like you are after more a date and not so much a roll in the sheets. Most men I have met and talked to have stated they see this as a sex site. They go looking for sex first and the benefit might come once they settle into some regular sex. Yes I have to slap their minds and hands back to please treat me with respect and just take it easy sunshine. The cock has only one eye. So it's vision can be a tad restricted. I have cut men off in their tracks for insisting on play first meeting of minds and chemisrty later. One poor guy had driven half way here 70 k and I told him not to come as he kept insisting we were going to have sex. He has since spologised. Yes. Many do expect. Like some women expect the coffee , meal the hotel to be paid for buy the guy( I know I do) . I exoect to cum first. I am entitled to a good time. I get pissed off and I told a guy the free brother was closed for the day. But I do present myself as a free slut so I can't blame them if i advertise then don't deliver the goods. Your profile does not do that but they get so horny trolling through the trashy girls like me that they miss the fine print on the girls that want a bit more. Gentlemen take note, we need to see you first to see if there is attraction it's dangerous to have to say no. When the man is in your house ir you there's and you don't want ti have sex. So think if it as safty for woman. It makes us want to leave the site and that fucks it up for other men. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
That it's almost painful to read LadyT. It's probably the best and most honest description of how this place works that I've read... Hp xo Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have meet first on my profile. I refuse to use a profile and a few messages give my the total picture of someone I may potentially have fun with. Men assume that just because I show up I will play. I play with people I know and trust when the situation is right. I have been to plenty of meets where I was not inclined to participate. I have coped a fair bit of abuse over it but in the end if you are going to be nasty or persistently annoying the chances are I will avoid or block you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Suffering identity disorder i am blessed (??) with 2 personalities, a male and a female (me, Annie). I'm of female thinking but have the entitlement of demanding sex and banging like a dunny door. My companion, the male has no sense of entitlement and would take things slow and easy as i should but dont. We are very close obviously but at no stage have we ever come close at working each other out. If we cant work each other out, l dont think you normal folk have got any chance in hell at all of working out the opposite sex and their thoughts of entitlement or not. Good luck!
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RHP User
10 years ago
but I also think from what I hear from men that a lot of women also have a sense of entitlement. They want a relationship, a ring on the finger, have to be tall or have a big dick and great looks. I know I have some standards and we all should but they need to be a bit realistic. Before anyone calls me a hypocrite I know I am looking for more than sex but I don't treat every guy like they are my next potential husband. I think some common sense needs to come into play from both sexes and drop the expectations altogether. All I ever ask is to meet and see if there is an attraction, there could be fireworks and could be bonking away in no time other times I am sitting there thinking what I am going to say to get out of it without being too rude and other times I like the guy but I am not attracted to him sexually. We need to remove the expectations and go with the flow a bit.
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LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
Hanging out here how many times do you see the "I am paying my money why is no one sleeping with me" posts? Men get all excited about all the free pussy they think they are going to get and forget that those "pussies" come bound to real adult people who deserve respect and have their own preferences, boundaries and rules. It is a shock to some of them. What they need to figure out is if you just treat a woman as a person, then things are going to go much better. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
That guys (yep I do mean men) arrive on rhp with a disproportionate idea of how easy it is to get what they want. This could lead to a misplaced sense of entitlement. Many are just looking for an easy root and can't be bothered putting in a bit of effort. Everyone thats posted here has made really valid points. Sir Stir....don't tell me they fall asleep as soon as you get them home too! Terrible.😉 Annie ur awesome! It would be real boring if we understood each other all the time. 😃 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Without sounding like a broken record, I am not all men or even some men, I am just me. In a nutshell, the shoe fits perfectly well on the other foot. Not necessarily marriage etc but plenty who want to milk you for everything they can before the brush off. Nuff said.
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nibblemebi
10 years ago
That there is a lot of confusion here on the male part. It is all too often ASSUMED that because a woman is open minded, sexually adventurous, and dares be on a site like this that she is free game and just a slut to be used like a free hooker. *Some* men really do seem to equate this, and think they can get more 'bang for their buck" by purchasing a membership. Reality sucks when it sinks in. What they really need to do is essentially think of it more like a nightclub, where you might buy a woman a drink, indulge in some conversation, and woo her into the sack if the chemistry is there and you both have appetites for the same meal. Or go dance on the dancefloor alone after using nasty behaviour like the OP describes, after you've been slapped in the face or had a drink thrown in it. Show respect and you will get so much further in life!
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RHP User
10 years ago
All I wanted was sex,.then trust me I just wouldn't bother with men over fifty,and it puzzles me greatly that men in this age group ..obviously not all ,just the ones that contact me ,are complete dills when it comes to social intelligence..Apply a little of that,stop being pushy demanding dills and you might get what you want as well as me getting what I want...and it ain't a husband,a ring,a meal ticket...just a man who is interested in spending time with me.some fantastic sex,intelligent conversation...demanding woman that I am xxFreya
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inspirit
10 years ago
Maybe I just dont get bent out of shape when they message me say "I have a room booked - do you feel like some fun" ..... I can't blame them. I may have may my tits out in a pic or be in sexy lingerie. If I see a cock out or seductive pic's I kinds think he wants to be fucked too. My entitlement tho?? I don't know about this "entitlement" thing THO when a man says to me do you want to be "exclusive" then I see that as a sense of entitlement. Ok so I see things different - Thats ok too I can't say I have ever met anyone who is disrespectful on meeting, that they think they are blatantly entitled to shag me. I am by no means dismissing your post either I am just giving my opinion from my experiences. All few hundred of them lol
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
To use outback Aussie vernacular - Yeh but nah. Yeh - you must be right OP every other thread from the ladies all claim the same. So Ashamedly you must be at least close to correct. BUT Nah - I really do not want to believe it but given point 1 above - yeh I think I have to!
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inspirit
10 years ago
Clearly I am no lady What was point one
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inspirit
10 years ago
Really Trully Really
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've received enough messages from guys asking me to meet in their hotel room, without even suggesting having a drink. I think that's what escorts are for and I'm not one of them. I do agree with previous posters that there are some women here who act just as entitled, though in my opinion not necessarily when it comes to wanting "more". Isn't that where the term "HRP hot" came from? I've come across women who expect nothing less than perfection, because on here... they can.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
youre correct I am a sensual rammer...hehehe///but my lovely you are also wrong, wasn't reffeing to your post in the slightest....not even sure it was there when mine posted....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Online dating sites are havens for narcissistic men. "Sense of entitlement" is a factor for a narcissist. So is lack of empathy, hence getting to know each other's feelings before jumping in bed is a waste of time for a narcissist. Unfortunately, this also works both ways. Your complaint about guys just shows your inability to spend the time finding that perfect ideal guy. Expect to deal with the rough to find your diamonds :) But saying that, some guys please get your act together... I like going out for coffee :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
If it seems to good to be true,it probably is 😣xxFreya
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'SensualAries' youre correct I am a sensual rammer...hehehe///but my lovely you are also wrong, wasn't reffeing to your post in the slightest....not even sure it was there when mine posted.... Nothing like a bit of horn between the grass blades ey
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' If it seems to good to be true,it probably is 😣xxFreya If it seems to be good to be true then ....... I must be worth it
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' Online dating sites are havens for narcissistic men. "Sense of entitlement" is a factor for a narcissist. So is lack of empathy, hence getting to know each other's feelings before jumping in bed is a waste of time for a narcissist. Unfortunately, this also works both ways. Your complaint about guys just shows your inability to spend the time finding that perfect ideal guy. Expect to deal with the rough to find your diamonds :) But saying that, some guys please get your act together... I like going out for coffee :) I never go for coffee.
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I've received enough messages from guys asking me to meet in their hotel room, without even suggesting having a drink. I think that's what escorts are for and I'm not one of them. ey can. Ohhhh - Am I bad - as I have met in hotel rooms. If the shoe fits.................... This one time, I left him tied up for the cleaners
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, it's certainly not gender specific. Now is it that you never go for coffee because you don't get up in time? Or just not that into conversation? And be careful... you might give something away :p
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do you not have expectations and a sense of entitlement? (I mean listen to what you're complaining about and read you're own words, you are "entitled" to them of course).. When Im going to meet a woman, sure I have hopes of what might happen, but I certainly don't expect anything! Usually I and the person/s Im meeting have a fat old time and a very entertaining one at that, it is after all "Red Hot Pie" and i come here seeking a more open minded exciting type of person as opposed to, well, stuffy whingers who like to take things on... I try to avoid those who tend to try and complicate things and and gravitate to things that they find offensive, when they could simply block and move on.. its simple really, there are all sort here (men, women, TV, TS etc) just engage those who float your boat! You certainly are not a pioneer..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Have said with my too good to be true comment,that I was referring to the narcissists OF78 mentioned..the people of either gender who create havoc in other people's lives..sweeping them off their feet,giving them lots of heart stopping attention,like a whirlwind and then phtt they are gone ..moving on to their next victim..no thought for the other as long as they get their ego stroking thrill xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Maybe I just dont get bent out of shape when they message me say "I have a room booked - do you feel like some fun" ..... I can't blame them. I may have may my tits out in a pic or be in sexy lingerie. If I see a cock out or seductive pic's I kinds think he wants to be fucked too. My entitlement tho?? I don't know about this "entitlement" thing THO when a man says to me do you want to be "exclusive" then I see that as a sense of entitlement. Ok so I see things different - Thats ok too I can't say I have ever met anyone who is disrespectful on meeting, that they think they are blatantly entitled to shag me. I am by no means dismissing your post either I am just giving my opinion from my experiences. All few hundred of them lol come down to my place for a root just bring your gardening gloves with you as well..its out in the back yard and i cant get the sucker out.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' Online dating sites are havens for narcissistic men. "Sense of entitlement" is a factor for a narcissist. So is lack of empathy, hence getting to know each other's feelings before jumping in bed is a waste of time for a narcissist. Unfortunately, this also works both ways. Your complaint about guys just shows your inability to spend the time finding that perfect ideal guy. Expect to deal with the rough to find your diamonds :) But saying that, some guys please get your act together... I like going out for coffee :) how do you like it?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dont help these guys out by giving them pointers lol guys like them mean nice guys like myself have more of a chance to message and meet ppl on here:) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I would just like to say that the ladies of RHP are a bunch of softies :) compared to the early days of RSVP. Because if after an early week email exchange and passing the Thursday lunch coffee meet. If the weekend away and flowers on the desk at work Monday morning didn't eventuate you got hate mail. It's just a short "no thank you" around here and seems pretty simple enough. And as much as I'd like to invoke the standard answer to the GypsyWildNT's question of why do men seem so entitled ? Because those types of guys get all the girls..... Runs and ducks for cover :) Maybe sometimes it's one of those men form mars women from Venus moments. For you what might have been a standard uneventful meet so you decide to invite him in for coffee. And what you see as his sense of entitlement as you find him naked on the couch when you come back with that coffee you invited him in for. Might just be his nerves getting the better of him because after 1000's of messages, hundreds of lunches and dozens of dinner dates it might be the first time in 3 years he's been asked in for a coffee and kind of got mixed messages. But seriously can all you gals here say hand on heart that you have never once spotted a guy, a girl, or a couple who's profile on here caught you attention. You exchanged a very small amount of messages then hooked up for some crazy sex ? If not call me
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' Online dating sites are havens for narcissistic men. "Sense of entitlement" is a factor for a narcissist. So is lack of empathy, hence getting to know each other's feelings before jumping in bed is a waste of time for a narcissist. Unfortunately, this also works both ways. Your complaint about guys just shows your inability to spend the time finding that perfect ideal guy. Expect to deal with the rough to find your diamonds :) But saying that, some guys please get your act together... I like going out for coffee :) I was looking for one who is respectful and who is, as Ralf said, prepared to meet for a coffee or a drink to see if there is chemistry before taking things further. Your comment "your complaint about guys just shows your inability to spend the time finding that perfect ideal guy" is rather presumptuous given you know nothing about me or how long I have been looking. And, for the record, I am not responsible for the behaviour and attitude of the men who display their sense of entitlement.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My bad too. I did not mean to imply that anyone who does agree to meet a stranger at their hotel room is an escort. I apologise.
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RHP User
10 years ago
99% of men give me a bad name. As others have said, there are good ones out there (men and lawyers) but they can be few and far between though.
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Andyjayyy
10 years ago
I wrote to a gorgeous younger lady just before Christmas.. After about two weeks of keeping in contact, she agreed to meet me for dinner. As we were eating at Southbank she asked me to meet her at the train station.. It was a little like something out of the movies, as when she got there, we saw each other across on the opposite platform.. The next day she told me it was "her dream date"... and no we didn't have sex nor did I press for it.. Dinner was great.. afterwards we sat by the river and she cuddled into my arms... lots of kissing.. late shared coffees & dessert.. first date and I ended up driving her back to where she left her car (deserted train station - that's trust for you). I've seen her almost weekly ever since (not exclusively - ages/lives really don't match).. our play together is very hot but so is our friendship (taught her how to swim).. She recently asked me why I was so 'nice'.. like being a nice guy was freakishly weird and not at all something she had seen before.. That made me sad to think how many other women thought guys just 'sucked'. It's definitely not the first time ladies have indicated to me that guys treat them like crap. Good for me I guess but not the way it should be.. Guys pick up you attitudes, you might be surprised how ladies respond and not just in sex. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do i expect it .....NoDo I want it........YesIf we click.
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RHP User
10 years ago
And empathise with your viewpoint. I've chatted to many, many women on here and they all have a similar viewpoint. Very sad, but that is the way of dating sites. Lovely sexy women being viewed countless times by Neanderthal Man who only has one thing on his mind... Beer!!... Okay two things... Beer! And SPORT....better make that three things... Beer, Sport and Sex! Let me assure you that some men want to get to know a woman first and do not assume they are entitled to anything, no matter how much sexual innuendo is in the messaging. I, for one, fit into this category. Spicy x
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inspirit
10 years ago
Who cares. I not once took it as a personal thing.Sheesh Me..... All good!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
10 years ago
Ive been eyeing off a lad in your area so I can errrrrmmmm...... Be down soon honey ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
10 years ago
I kinda do use men tho I'm pretty sure it's a mutual thing. You chase, You shag then next. Is it for my ego? I don't think so. Why do I do it? It's fun and I too old for golf. Commitment I no want or the head fucks. I do however have a very clear picture in my head of who I am and what I want. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I applaud that you know what you want and how to get it and make no apologies for it either.
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LightCatcher
10 years ago
The only sense I bring to this site is one of sheer bloody wonder at ever getting noticed by anyone :)) Entitlement??? - hmm - maybe that's what I'm doing wrong because judging by the number of posts on this and related topics it's the guys with this kind of attitude who seem to be getting all the attention ;) Isn't an entitlement mentality something you'd pick up from the first message? Why wouldn't you then just go Next let alone meet them ??
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is there a site which doesn't allow single males? They are pretty ignoying
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RHP User
10 years ago
It seems a bit selfish or maybe egotistical to think one has some sort of entitlement over another. We are all our own beings and have the right to choice. I have used a couple of mainstream dating sites and like inspirit I think entitlement is easily confused with expectation. The former is just rude and the latter foolish. I realise when I contact someone they may not even wish to respond and if we meet we may or may not click and that's cool but it took me a while and a little heartbreak to separate expectation from reality. What a shame some cannot be a bit more respectful of each others personal preferences. Cheers
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RHP User
10 years ago
We are in the age of instant gratification. People just don't seem to have any patience anymore. This is a large part of the problem IMHO.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Andyjayyy' She recently asked me why I was so 'nice'.. like being a nice guy was freakishly weird and not at all something she had seen before.. That made me sad to think how many other women thought guys just 'sucked'. - Posted from rhpmobile Andy, I'm firmly of the belief that some women just don't know how to handle a "nice" guy, it just freaks them out, they are not used to it, have little experience to fall back on and don't trust their good luck, so the guy gets chucked in the friends basket. Now you can't hurt her and she can go date the arseholes she knows how to deal with.Be grateful, I'm sure you are.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I was using the "extreme" to make it a point. Possibly if that upsetsyou then it's likely comments from narcissistic guys will also give similar effect. There is a teaching that goes if the world is covered in prickles do I try to get rid of the prickles. Or do I just put on a pair of shoes. My suggestion is put on your big girl shoes and ignore the prickles so you can focus on your man with big shoes... and we all know what that means :p He likes his coffee ;)
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inspirit
10 years ago
If a guy say's what I just said, he would be slammed as a douch bag. As a female ....... what changes? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'd never apologise to you, that was for anyone else who may have felt insulted. ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Ive been eyeing off a lad in your area so I can errrrrmmmm...... Be down soon honey ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile good to go , king bed with roll bars on the side in case you get to carried away.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Funontheriver' Is there a site which doesn't allow single males? They are pretty ignoying That is so not fair to say. You know what this site is when you join you know most of the members are single men or men pretending to be single yes of course the are annoying at times, but we are grown ups so we just be polite and say on your way sunshine nothing to see here. plus your pictures are sexy and the guys are going to run to you like puppies with tongues out give em a break, most of them cant get their dick wet if they stood out side in a tropical cyclone so be a bit kinds and your right the few guys that say nice guys do not get a look in. Lets face it ladies, we all know bloody well if a looker puts the word on us, well its a lot easier than a average of ugly dude and we get to pick what we like on this site I look at myself...my pictures say desperate old chick, with tits ...yeah lets try that shall we? Take who you( i do not mean the OP i mean in general) are outside of RHP, if men are not slobbering over you in the supermarkets then guess what, you know when they are slobbing over you in RHP that your in a field where you can bat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay above your average just by being a woman. of course guys expect a root. Its not rocket science.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' If a guy say's what I just said, he would be slammed as a douch bag. As a female ....... what changes? - Posted from rhpmobile when you have them you can do all kinds of stuff oh and a golden pussy to match, its BINGO
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RHP User
10 years ago
that you recognised that inspirit... Because we both know it's true... It's just on of the joys of this place... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I totally disagree.Just because some men think we are free hookers,and I recall you putting up a post re this..It doesn't mean that they should expect sex on tap and treat women as just a hole to shove their dick in.XxFreya
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' Yes, it's certainly not gender specific. Now is it that you never go for coffee because you don't get up in time? Or just not that into conversation? And be careful... you might give something away :p I also like a fun atmospere and I do find "coffee shops/cafes" boring as fuck. I never go to them with friends so why would I on a "date". My choice of meet is in a restaurant or a pub. You can chill out more and not sit there like a stuffed potato drinking too much coffee, which turns me into a dyslexic freak. Beers are my choice.
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I'd never apologise to you, that was for anyone else who may have felt insulted. ;-) You're only human
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting '50zcool'Andy, I'm firmly of the belief that some women just don't know how to handle a "nice" guy, it just freaks them out, they are not used to it, have little experience to fall back on and don't trust their good luck, so the guy gets chucked in the friends basket. Now you can't hurt her and she can go date the arseholes she knows how to deal with. I think the "nice guy" has a place...... but.... that place simply doesn't communicate to women on an exciting emotional level enough to drive her sexual expression. Ergo.... friend.And women just aren't inspired to feel just a friend inside her. But, you can be both the nice guy.... and express those elements of the exciting bad boy (without the soul destroying negatives) that does drive her sexual desire for you.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I totally disagree.Just because some men think we are free hookers,and I recall you putting up a post re this..It doesn't mean that they should expect sex on tap and treat women as just a hole to shove their dick in.XxFreya They shouldn't.... but... they do. Ive seen enough messages to make me think some guys are borderline sex offenders given the chance. BUT... what amazes me, is they never change that approach and end up whinging about "why aren't my messages replied to" or "sending nice messages (?!!) are a waste of time." What is that quote defining insanity?! DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
You could exchange "men" for "people" in your post and it would be just as accurate.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' If a guy say's what I just said, he would be slammed as a douch bag. As a female ....... what changes? - Posted from rhpmobile well, nothing changes really sweetness. I think we have all given up on you as an incorrigible sex fiend who uses men for her own pleasure, then tosses them aside for the next hunky man to fulfil her every hole. I think men and couples are definitely here for the mutual satisfaction of having sex and some fun. It is a mutual using of each others bodies for pleasure. Nothing wrong with that if everyone is on the same page. I think lots of women are here for that too, but they like to feel desired and sexy before jumping in the sack. Men that just send an email with 'wanna fuck' messages are not wrong but they are after a quick role in the sack and unfortunately they don't seem to apply much effort into the whole thing. Makes it boring for us ladies. And it is very annoying when we have specifically stated that we after more than a quick fumble down the park and they still message us. I am aware it is a numbers game but what is the point when you are pissing off a large proportion of the women? Is doesn't help your cause. For me it's the expectation and taking women for granted which is the annoying thing. It is also disturbing how I often get the impression that there are definitely men do appear to not be very fussy about who they fuck. Makes me feel ordinary... and that doesn't get my pussy twinging at all. As for people not jumping on you for stating what you want. I think it is the terminology that you use which gets some people's knickers in a knot, and fair enough. No body wants to feel used and discarded like a used condom.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Quoting '50zcool'Andy, I'm firmly of the belief that some women just don't know how to handle a "nice" guy, it just freaks them out, they are not used to it, have little experience to fall back on and don't trust their good luck, so the guy gets chucked in the friends basket. Now you can't hurt her and she can go date the arseholes she knows how to deal with. I think the "nice guy" has a place...... but.... that place simply doesn't communicate to women on an exciting emotional level enough to drive her sexual expression. Ergo.... friend.And women just aren't inspired to feel just a friend inside her. But, you can be both the nice guy.... and express those elements of the exciting bad boy (without the soul destroying negatives) that does drive her sexual desire for you. I agree. Lots of nice men never seem to make a move, or a too slow. Or too unsure of themselves.
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RHP User
10 years ago
But I think they are two different "phenomena"
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've personally never expected anything but respect and honesty from any contact with a lady or couple. I mean life is way too short to be wasting anyone's time and not treating people with respect. I understand were on a sex, dating site we still need to understand a flirt, message, profile views doesn't mean instant sex. It's shame that many do. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Nice guys don't finish last. Boring guys finish last.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' I was using the "extreme" to make it a point. Possibly if that upsetsyou then it's likely comments from narcissistic guys will also give similar effect. There is a teaching that goes if the world is covered in prickles do I try to get rid of the prickles. Or do I just put on a pair of shoes. My suggestion is put on your big girl shoes and ignore the prickles so you can focus on your man with big shoes... and we all know what that means :p He likes his coffee ;) I don't believe I was being defensive. I was merely pointing out a truth. And as for simply putting on a pair of shoes thereby ignoring the prickles, no change would ever happen in the world if we simply "put on our shoes and let the prickles continue growing". Sure, we might not get rid of them all, but we might be able to get rid of enough to make world a little more habitable.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Its great to hear from guys who do not display a sense of entitlement and who are open to meeting without expectation. Thank you also to the women contributors who have shared their opinions and experiences. Have a great weekend.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
And the (too) nice guys are there to console them. Being (too) "nice".... IS boring to women
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' And the (too) nice guys are there to console them. Being (too) "nice".... IS boring to women But you are all saying that as if the charming men, ones who know how to make a woman feel sexy in a genuine way, are NOT nice?? And that isn't true, is it? Just because you are a nice guy doesn't mean you can't have exciting qualities. Some people have got the "it", I agree. But it is annoying when men turn around and say that women don't like nice guys because they always go for bastards or the "bad" boys, whatever that means. It's a cope out. Women go for charming, confident men, that are happy and laughing and smiling and NICE because that is sexy. Whether blokes like that can seduce a woman...... well, that is a whole other story. Hmmm I see another thread coming on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You re utterly ridiculous sometimes,,.of course not all women like nice men but I bet most of us do..Nice is not boring it's refreshing...what IS boring is men who talk on behalf of women...very antediluvian,kinda goes with the dinosaur though .
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Just because you are a nice guy doesn't mean you can't have exciting qualities. Some people have got the "it", I agree. Oops that should say, Some people have the "it" factor, I agree. The rest of us are just your every day normal peeps. But does this mean that DG is not nice? Is DG a naughty boy then?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think I'm entitled to respect and positive human regard, everything else is negotiable
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RHP User
10 years ago
I met a guy for a drink last week and he was all over me from the first moment. I felt uncomfortable because I didn't want to be rude, but I also wasn't into it. Anyway it was a good learning experience. Next time I will be more assertive, but this time I was thrown a bit, because it was sort of unexpected. So yes, definitely see that. But there are plenty of people like that, in life and in general. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Miss Freya & miss Meeka..... what you've both highlighted... although, you may not know it because you're looking at the definition of "nice" from feminine eyes.... is that.... men and women consider different behaviours as "nice". I have to use certain words and phrases to illustrate the extremes of the point, to make them clear, so it may seem boorish or chauvinistic, when read in that extreme. When a guy really wants to be sexual with that one woman that he knows, it often means he thinks listening to her complain about the list of guys who treated her like crap will make him look good. It means buying her attention with gifts, dinners, drinks will improve his chances .... he thinks. It means doing "nice' or "thoughtful' acts for her to make her seeeee.. he's not one of those dirtbag pricks she complains about. And if he's trying to get her to like him enough to throw him a root..... so to speak..... being her emotional tampon....(it certainly feels that way)... is an extremely frustrating, unfulfilling and ultimately unrewarding approach. Because when you are compelled to think, desire and chase after those men who make you FEEL powerful emotions, this entice guy acts just don't spark those emotions the same way. If it did..... there wouldn't be a bad boy.Ever. Now... Im NOT saying, and have NEVER said... that all men should be bad boys and ditch the thoughtful and considerate nature towards women. Im simply saying..... that while the emotional magnetism of masculinity isn't always.... nice.... it is certainly attractive at times..... and nice, and masculinity are not mutually exclusive. Nice.... with an edge...... gets the girl... and keeps her.
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RHP User
10 years ago
What is annoying is when men speak on behalf of women...it's 2015 not 1955 xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Miss Freya & miss Meeka..... what you've both highlighted... although, you may not know it because you're looking at the definition of "nice" from feminine eyes.... is that.... men and women consider different behaviours as "nice". Fair enough... I use the word nice to describe a good decent person. Probably a man who cares for animals, likes children and loves his mother and treats women with respect. How do men use the word nice then??????? I have to use certain words and phrases to illustrate the extremes of the point, to make them clear, so it may seem boorish or chauvinistic, when read in that extreme. When a guy really wants to be sexual with that one woman that he knows, it often means he thinks listening to her complain about the list of guys who treated her like crap will make him look good. It means buying her attention with gifts, dinners, drinks will improve his chances .... he thinks. It means doing "nice' or "thoughtful' acts for her to make her seeeee.. he's not one of those dirtbag pricks she complains about. I hate to break it to you. If a woman is constantly complaining about ex partners, her period cramps and how cute that guy over there is. You are in the friend zone and you ain't never getting out. And is that women do though? Complain all the time? And if he's trying to get her to like him enough to throw him a root..... so to speak..... being her emotional tampon....(it certainly feels that way)... is an extremely frustrating, unfulfilling and ultimately unrewarding approach. Emotional tampon! That is just insulting to everybody and a very bad stereotypical parody. Sure, people who are experiencing emotional turmoil need to talk about it, but that is one point in time. Surely? Because when you are compelled to think, desire and chase after those men who make you FEEL powerful emotions, this entice guy acts just don't spark those emotions the same way. I absolutely agree that men that are a little hard to get a much more attractive than easy and desperate guys. And I am sure the exact same thing can be said about women too. If it did..... there wouldn't be a bad boy.Ever. Now... Im NOT saying, and have NEVER said... that all men should be bad boys and ditch the thoughtful and considerate nature towards women. Im simply saying..... that while the emotional magnetism of masculinity isn't always.... nice.... it is certainly attractive at times..... and nice, and masculinity are not mutually exclusive. Emotional magnetism of masculinity ....... what is that? What do you mean by that and why is that not nice? I think masculinity is wonderful. But a an arsehole is an arsehole whether he is masculine or considers himself to be a "nice" guy. Nice.... with an edge...... gets the girl... and keeps her. Have you been watching lame 1980 Rom Com movies tonight DG?
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Miss Freya & miss Meeka..... what you've both highlighted... although, you may not know it because you're looking at the definition of "nice" from feminine eyes.... is that.... men and women consider different behaviours as "nice". Fair enough... I use the word nice to describe a good decent person. Probably a man who cares for animals, likes children and loves his mother and treats women with respect. How do men use the word nice then??????? I have to use certain words and phrases to illustrate the extremes of the point, to make them clear, so it may seem boorish or chauvinistic, when read in that extreme. When a guy really wants to be sexual with that one woman that he knows, it often means he thinks listening to her complain about the list of guys who treated her like crap will make him look good. It means buying her attention with gifts, dinners, drinks will improve his chances .... he thinks. It means doing "nice' or "thoughtful' acts for her to make her seeeee.. he's not one of those dirtbag pricks she complains about. I hate to break it to you. If a woman is constantly complaining about ex partners, her period cramps and how cute that guy over there is. You are in the friend zone and you ain't never getting out. And is that women do though? Complain all the time? Remember back when I mentioned "extremes" And if he's trying to get her to like him enough to throw him a root..... so to speak..... being her emotional tampon....(it certainly feels that way)... is an extremely frustrating, unfulfilling and ultimately unrewarding approach. Emotional tampon! That is just insulting to everybody and a very bad stereotypical parody. Sure, people who are experiencing emotional turmoil need to talk about it, but that is one point in time. Surely? Again... extreme. Is it really any different to use any other phrase?! Because when you are compelled to think, desire and chase after those men who make you FEEL powerful emotions, this entice guy acts just don't spark those emotions the same way. I absolutely agree that men that are a little hard to get a much more attractive than easy and desperate guys. And I am sure the exact same thing can be said about women too. We're getting closer If it did..... there wouldn't be a bad boy.Ever. Now... Im NOT saying, and have NEVER said... that all men should be bad boys and ditch the thoughtful and considerate nature towards women. Im simply saying..... that while the emotional magnetism of masculinity isn't always.... nice.... it is certainly attractive at times..... and nice, and masculinity are not mutually exclusive. Emotional magnetism of masculinity ....... what is that? What do you mean by that and why is that not nice? I think masculinity is wonderful. But a an arsehole is an arsehole whether he is masculine or considers himself to be a "nice" guy. Warmerrrrrrr ...lol...... Nice.... with an edge...... gets the girl... and keeps her. Meeka.... you know why you respond... and with such passion... right?!Emotional response activated.... I await the response from the (other) usual suspects
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platinumblonde69
10 years ago
It might happen the other way around too but I find it unattractive that guys send emails expecting to meet without even knowing anything about you, or even wanting to see a face pic. Maybe I'm shallow but for me there has to be some attraction there, which is hard to gauge from one email. Also the number of guys who "pretend" they are keen but in fact are searching their little butts off for other women and might come back to you if nothing better is around.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Meeka.... you know why you respond... and with such passion... right?!Emotional response activated.... I await the response from the (other) usual suspects Yeah yeah. Okay, fair point. But I wonder how the "nice" guys in our audience today view the word "nice". Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
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RHP User
10 years ago
What Freya and Meeka said. DG, don't speak for me thanks.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Speaking for....... or..... paraphrasing from shared female opinions.... Now who is the one making assumptions. Let he/she who is without sin.... etc etc Meeka gets it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Why is it so many men claim the "opposite" of a nice guy is a "bad boy". All I say to these "nice guys" is have a damm oppinion on something. I don't want a woman to be a "yes" person... And if I may be permitted to guess, I certainly think women don't want a "yes" man. Ok, maybe if they're feeling down it is nice to have a shoulder to cry on. But that ain't gonna spark a relationship - though it might get you a one night stand that will likely filter out. If you can't have an opponion on things and learn and get into lively debates. Then how on earth are you to manage the full emotional range of an individual. Nice guy might get the pity root, but what's enjoyable about giving to a charity case. Now none of this has anything to do with being a "bad boy". It has more to do with growing up and being your own man... not an accessory (close on mother son) relationship to a woman. So to entice some manliness... where were all these boys complaining about "bad boys" when balls were being handed out... ie grow a pair :p
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not so nice......just soft !
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RHP User
10 years ago
I love chivalry, and it's mostly received with grace, unfortunately a minority have learnt/been taught to exploit it which of course spoils it for everyone else. There are serial daters who simply want a free meal and drinks and never had anything else in mind.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' I love chivalry, and it's mostly received with grace, unfortunately a minority have learnt/been taught to exploit it which of course spoils it for everyone else. There are serial daters who simply want a free meal and drinks and never had anything else in mind. THAT.... is the sense of entitlement right there. To think that someone has decided to meet you for drinks and or dinner..... to find out more about you..... and that they're not permitted to decide on learning more... that they don't wish to take it further... or not further, then.
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' I love chivalry, and it's mostly received with grace, unfortunately a minority have learnt/been taught to exploit it which of course spoils it for everyone else. There are serial daters who simply want a free meal and drinks and never had anything else in mind. I find that so sad that there are people like that out there!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lining up here with the other smart women I have have thought a great deal about this Do they have a drop down box for Hermaphrodite? I swear that guy knows so much about how men and women think he has a Y and a cock but then I think if that were true he would be porking himself all day long now there is a visual that's burnt in my brain just going off now to pluck out my eyes. But you have to admit ladies, he is one funny fucker I know I have a good laugh when he posts, and we need the forums to be a bit light at times.
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