M52
Consensus of a cheating husband
September 07 2014
Comments
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
What do you think.... is missing? Just asking. DG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Im glad youre happy, Winging it, but have you thought of how your wife would feel if she did find out? Your "happiness" would be changed to a mixture of guilt and remorse as you tried to salvage the broken relationship. Yes, it was done to me and the fallout was dreadful for everyone involved. If you must have sex with other people, let your wife have her own life to meet other people and be happy instead of growing old and facing the eventuality of you leaving anyway.This had been done so many times but I still think cheaters should realise that because their dick is happy, it could cause major heartache for the people they profess to love. No, not a bad person, just a selfish one.
-
Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
You say you have always worn protection yet your profile says " If required ". What you do if single is entirely your concern, however you do have a partner so your regard for her is totally lacking. I suppose this is born out by your extra activities. You say you are never happier, gee, great to be in a world of thy self.
-
TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
....mate no doubt youre aware you shall receive a mixed bag of response. You say lifes never been happier. What this implies is that "your" true life has never been happier, you can not honestly represent that your wifes life has never been happier too. Sure there may be less friction between you (no pun) but your wife has not been told why things are so good as you put it. Mate what are you scared of? It - being alone? Or having to leave your kids? Or both? Believe me its much much much easier to respectfully leave rather than be forced out and potentially suffer some hard consequences thereafter. My qualifier on this is that obviously i have no idea about your circumstances - but you have already admitted to cheating over a very long period. How would she feel? Believe me being forced out of your home will not do your kids any good. (No it didnt happen to me - but i can see how bad it could be when choice is removed) Might be best to rethink this one?
-
Piedskyper
10 years ago
So at age 25, you started cheating on your wife? Or you're trying to fake your profile age? I wonder what would happen if you found out that your wife was a RHP member, keeping tabs on you, knowing about your activities, and the joke is actually on you, because she has been doing the same to you. You might think you're getting away with it....but I doubt that you are.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for your comment Kokoflamingo It's seems I should of elaborated on the issue a little more but wanted to keep it short. We as a married couple have been to the bottom of our relationship already, see she cheated with a good friend of mine(which is no longer) on several occasions while I was away for work so I too know how it feels but we clawed from the ruins to have three great kids. I have tried to spice things up many times with my wife, even offered her to see other men or us as couple go to sexpo or watch porn which did not seem to interest her. Don't worry I have tried to almost the ends of the earth to make life in the bedroom great. I know I'm good in bed, I know I can satisfy a women, but just no my wife. Now don't get me wrong I love my wife and children but I feel no guilt when I cheat. And sorry but made the profile in a hurry Smilingwithfun, I always use protection I would never put someone's let alone my own health at risk.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If you found she had been having men on the side for 15 years because 'there was something missing' and had not tried to communicate her unhappiness to you? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I don't believe YOU are not a bad person...... It just means, YOU made some choices (no-one has has made those choices for you) to excluded your wife and you've also denied her of any choices as well. Foxy
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Should read "I don't believe; YOU are a bad person." Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Would you be understanding if you found out your wife was doing the same thing - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
What would your wife - the woman you made promises to and have been lying to for 15 years - think? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
Til the shit hits the fan. You say you are happy. Is your wife? Is she content with her life at the moment? I am sure you are not the only cheating spouse on here. I just hope the sex was good enough to make up for the hurt you are causing your wife and kids, should they ever find out.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Who is anyone to deny another of that? If you are really OK and feel it is the right thing to do - it's your choice at the end of the day. I suspect many people do come to this site for the exact some reason you've given and posted on your profile. Many have posted on the same topic over time - I will say tho most of the time Forums do not end well. If you don't mind OP - I have a few questions to ask you... Is there a reason why you cheat? Sick wife? Just not happy at home? Financial reasons? Lack of intimacy? How have you maintained this for so long - what's your secret there? Am very curious. Second phone? Visits during working hours? Do you have any days where is does not feel right? I mean when you come home to your wife - what's it feel like to look in her eyes? MMMM I wonder if she's in the same situation as you OP and denies you of choices as well. How would that make you feel?? Foxy Personally, I think there is more to this than meets the eye, I mean why would one ask others or post a forum asking for a "consensus" ???
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I feel you posted this forum in the hope people would say: "Of course you are not a bad person", to further justify your behaviour to yourself (and perhaps others.) I wouldn't call a person as a whole "bad", but I find your behaviour appalling. You say you are cheating because you are "missing something" in your marriage. That just sust sounds like "me, me, me", with no regard for your wife at all.The fact that you have safe sex "If required" in your profile makes it even worse in my book. I hope for her sake your wife never finds out, nor catches any diseases you may bring home. Just my 2cts.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
People seek whatever they seek outside their marriage/relationship for a variety of reasons. Some I understand, some I don't. But I'm not going to sit here defining you as a person when I don't know you. Whether you are a good person or a bad person is not for anyone here to decide either..... But..... I sense that something is just not sitting well with you for what you've sought out....and only YOU can decide and identify what that is, and make a conscious decision as to what you do about it..... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The slip at the beginning, that thrill and excitement......... However, it's then I would ask, hold on, why is this happening, is it unhappiness, boredom, desire etc etc etc............ The one over-riding question is one of respect !! Is there no respect for your partner, because if there is even a small amount, then you would stop and think of them........... Yes, it's not always black and white, however as others have mentioned, you made a choice, but took away your partners.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
so many questions it raises, like foxy has started, and bound to get messy. Lol watches on the sideline :) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
OPNmarriagecpl
10 years ago
We have always had a strong reaction to cheating and men or women that do it (100% behind their partners back) and it's not a positive one. You sound really selfish Winging-it and while you are obviously getting your fill of random roots and state your happy....... What about your poor unsuspecting wife? Is she happy? Maybe she feels just as unfulfilled as you. Sorry for being so blunt OP, but you did ask. And no, I don't think that you are a bad person per-say, but as a woman I would not find cheating as an attractive quality in the least. Mrs😈
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If the op can clarify that as correct, then i think it only fair that all parties affected are involved & hehe perhaps a priest to :) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
How would you feel if your wife was doing exactly as you are, would you be ok and accepting of her choices,would you still want to stay married with her ? How would you feel if your children knew, would you be ok standing in front of them being judged for the cheating and yes children judge their parents ? What we , the people of the forums, think of you in the realm of things means little. Do I think you are a "bad" person ?. No. But do I think you are a selfish individual ?, then yes You are married but on paper only. A true marriage means open communication and honesty. If there is something that is lacking within your marriage, well two people are in the marriage, ask yourself did you contribute to this lacking ? I do not believe in karma, but events like this have a way of making themselves known. If you are happy to be labelled and known as a cheater in front of your wife, your children, your friends, your family and your wives family, then continue on with your actions People who cheat on the people that love them will always find a way to excuse their actions and behaviour
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I would think that yr wife already suspects that u r cheating on her...Women have amazing powers of intuition.... If she catches u out, out, then i hope she acts with justifiable rage..!!! Just man up...Tell her u have meaningless roots with multiple women, whilst pretending to be at work. You won't though.. She shall be at home, caring for yr kids, cooking yr meals, folding yr laundry, & waiting in vain for good sex from hubby - who doesn't desire wifey as he is all fucked out.. Bloody hell..!!! Either be honest, loyal & encourage her to try more adventurous sex with u, or leave the marriage & allow wifey her own slice of happiness. Marriage guidance counsellors may help too. But men - u won't - yr too ignorant & full of yr own needs...Carry on.. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Mr_MrsAraps
10 years ago
Do you think this will end well when the cats finally out of the bag .... I know its never just all black and white and there is plenty of grey in there but .... Have you talked to your wife about opening the relationship up so there is no cheating but is done in a mutual and ethical way ? She might want to have the opportunity to fuck a bunch of other guys or girls but hasn't under the assumption that you are both monogomous. So many things you could explore together to get that thrill you are getting at the moment. My other scenario for me is if one of the partners calls an end to sex their sex life in a monogamous relationship (therefore by default saying the other person cant ever having sex again) which I see as as total bullshit. If this was the case I would say yeah go out and get something on the side if it allows you to stay sane in a relationship with a sexless partner.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Interesting that you say who would deny someone their happiness (I paraphrase). I believe that everyone who cheats is denying their partner THEIR happiness. Unless there is an explicit understanding between partners that it's OK to have sex or relationships outside the primary relationship, then the partner being cheated on is under the false belief their life is a certain way, when it isn't. They'll make all sorts of life decisions based on that belief - decisions that are about being true to the commitment two people have made. If their partner is cheating, is unhappy, unsatisfied in some way, I believe the non-cheating partner deserves to know, to have ALL the information about their life and to be free to make decisions based on that. They might choose to stay, or go, or something in the middle, but without the truth of the situation they don't have all the jnformation they need to choose their own happiness. Until then, they're living a lie they don't even know about. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I disagree with part of your statement. Sex isn't a need it's a desire. Otherwise celibacy wouldn't ever be an option - Posted from rhpmobile
-
TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
Ok, so you both cheated and you feel no guilt. My one question is - I am genuinely curious - why are you still together? That's the one thing I don't understand. Please explain.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think I would be happier knowing that girlguyhavingfun at least then I would know that she is open to it
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I am reading the Ethical Slut, wish I had read it years ago. In all honesty it is not my nature to be monogamous. I was frustrated for years, the good wife. Then I left my husband, to find something out there but realized I am emotionally attached to my husband, but not sexually I can and do, enjoy sex just for the sake of sex. Its the newness, its the sometimes connection with another, its the pure delight of letting go. Some may very well judge you, throw moral stones. They may think, there is something missing or your dysfunctional in some way. Plus your a male and cheating rat bag, will be the mantra of many. Cheat is an ugly word. The great irony its that every body has cheated at something at some stage in their lives. you value your relationships, your probably a good husband, father, provider. your not a bad person, its just one of the complexities of life we all face. do it your way, that's the only way and others can throw stones from glass houses.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You sure want your slice of the pie and more ? Bringing that up is just showing off and trying to make other guys feel inadquate that they cant get one lol - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Piedskyper' So at age 25, you started cheating on your wife? Or you're trying to fake your profile age? I wonder what would happen if you found out that your wife was a RHP member, keeping tabs on you, knowing about your activities, and the joke is actually on you, because she has been doing the same to you. You might think you're getting away with it....but I doubt that you are. The other nightYour right about this, he was fifo from wife and mate got him to come on RHP he thought why not, bit of a laugh and i am not sure if he was going to play or not, but i would think with the temptations on here that he may have stepped over that line. and who was the hottie he found on here....yes his wife consequence was he was devastated, he left her they got divorced. so what I said before, your not a bad person, you will get judged I for one see the big picture but like others said what if your wife does not see this picture and finds out. If you do cheat then its like Poker be prepared to loose everything. I am lucky in my husband knows i am on RHP but there he has his head in the sand and would not like me to say honey this is my lover. So I protect him from that and its all covert operations on my part.
-
Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
And just tell her you're looking outside the marriage for what she can't (or won't) give you. And then let the cards fall where they may. I can tell you the kids pick up on discord between mum and dad, spoken or not - and it doesn't make for a happy household. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'winging_it' I have tried to spice things up many times with my wife, even offered her to see other men or us as couple go to sexpo or watch porn which did not seem to interest her. Don't worry I have tried to almost the ends of the earth to make life in the bedroom great. I know I'm good in bed, I know I can satisfy a women, but just no my wife. just from that it sounds like you've done everything that YOU think would make life in the bedroom great. Have you asked her what she wants or is thinking at all? You know that for a couple, making life better in the bedroom often starts with things well outside the bedroom. Maybe you should forget for awhile how great you think you are in bed, and what you think your wife should want, and actually start some two way communication with her. Having said that though, I also get the distinct impression that you don't actually want to change your situation, as you say you are happy. In that case, you're an adult, you make your own decisions and nobody here can tell you what to do or what not to do. I do at least hope that you are considering your children though. Even if they aren't old enough yet, there will come a day that they will be old enough to sense that everything is not right between their parents (don't kid yourself that you can hide it from them, kids can pick up on these things). The whole staying together for the sake of the kids thing can often end up being worse for children if they are constantly witnessing their parents ignoring each other / arguing etc.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I have just read yr further 'explanation' on why u cheat...in my eyes, yv only sunk yrself deeper in the shit...!! Yr wife had a few roots with yr bff PRIOR to having kids...So r u still angry & making her pay for a few transgressions many years ago..?? You say yr marriage almost broke because of this, & u both clawed yr way back... Well obviously she felt guilty & did everything in her power to gain forgiveness from u - In cluding bearing u children (not an easy task..trust me..Pregnancy & birth is max pain). Grow up...Move past it... Don't use this as an excuse to continually hurt & disrespect yr wife... She has paid the price.. You also state that you feel NO guilt with the cheating....WTF..!! That's just totally narsassistic, selfish, inhumaine, nasty & totally lacking in any emotional integrity or depth.... !! I feel very sorry for yr wife being involved with such an unfeeling & cold predator as yrself... . You further state she does not sexually desire you, & refuses to kink up the sexual erotica...Well, maybe she just knows exactly what you do, knows how heartless you are, & is fully aware that you a re unforgivibg , cold & hostile towards her as a woman, a lover & a wife..!!! Maybe she is just stuck in a loveless marriage, as she feels victimized & has lost all sense of personal pride or self-esteem.. Maybe she wants out, but is staying for the kids sake, can't afford to escape, o r has no support networks...Run Wifey Run..!! I wish I could help her...Poor poor woman.. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' II was frustrated for years, the good wife. Then I left my husband, to find something out there but realized I am emotionally attached to my husband, but not sexually You are not sneaking around behind your husband's back!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
That is a stunning photo!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
are you looking to us because we are on a 'sex site' to pat you on the back and say, nooo, you're not bad? She cheated, you cheated, you continue to cheat with no remorse, sounds like a great marriage!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for your comment Luckdragon23 yes I have had many a conversation with my wife about trying to spice up our relationship. But she seems just uninterested about sex altogether. I don't know what to do anymore about this, when we have sex on occasions I ask if there is anything I can do to improve or satisfy her, or make her feel even more special,I have tried and tried but to no end. I just get the cold shoulder on this. Thanks for your comment too SpanglishFun I respect your opinion I don't use this as an excuse to make her feel guilty and hurt her direct, I don't even mention it. And I did forgive her years ago. As for not feeling guilty, I wish I did then it would make sense to stop but I just don't. I understand people judge me and people don't like it that I'm that way but I am. I believe we have a strong relationship, we often go out, I treat her with no disrespect, I treat her like a queen I believe, I always say how gorgeous she is and we always say we love each other. There is no arguments, we love our kids very much and if anything happened to her I would do anything for her as any husband would do. Trust me and this might sound contradictive but if she was to suddenly turn around today and say we need to change things in our sexual relationship to bring us closer I would stop at a drop of a hat.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
people are very judgemental. I'm not going to judge you, but,..... it would be good if the reason your wife is seemingly happy is because she is, also, cheating on you.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for your comment ralf74 I guess the question I wanted answered not so much if I was a bad person but if there were other people out there in the same situation or I'm alone in this. Also if there were other people out there that I could chat to, that I too could get advice from and/or give advice to if that was appropriate
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks inthekiss I like your comments
-
madotara69
10 years ago
When you get what you want in your struggle for self, And the world makes you king for a day Then go to the mirror, See what the man has to say For it isn't your Father, Mother or Wife, Who's judgement upon you must pass The fellows verdict counts most in your life, Is the one staring back from the glass Some people may think your a straight shooting chum, And call you a wonderful guy But the man in the mirror says your a bum, If you can't look him straight in the eyes He's the fellow to please, Never mind all the rest, For he's clear with you to the end And you have passed your most difficult and dangerous test, If the man in the glass is your friend You may fool the whole world, Down the pathways of years, And pats on the back as you pass Your final reward will be heartache and tears, If you have cheated the man in the glass Mado Mado Tara xx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Op its not nice when you find out that your partner is cheating on you I've been there it doesn't matter if you are male or female it still hurts my suggestion to you is to sit down with your wife and talk about what is missing see a marriage councilor as for the question of whether you are a bad person I can't judge you I've never met you but I don't think to highly of you for doing what you are doing - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm curious.. Why don't you tell her you are 'cheating'? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
My 2cts. (all of these 2ct opinions you could be a rich man). Anyway, I have a little understanding where you are coming from, do not agree with your solution though. Recently finished a relationship and did not have any sex with her (or anyone else) for 3-yrs prior, not that I did not want it, just could not use her for my sexual gratification in a bad relationship. (bad relationship, arguments, issues etc etc) thought about cheating but just could not do it as it would have hurt her. I personally do not believe there is any excuse for cheating. I believe if you talk about it and she agrees then it is not cheating. My opinion is that: firstly you don't cheat, secondly you talk to her about the issues and if you can not agree then move on, lastly, (I can't agree with it but may be helpful in your situation), tell her your concerns and tell her you are thinking of having affairs because of the issues (not that you have had them), if she says yes you may be ok, if not you both can have an honest discussion about continuing with the relationship. I was also a child where there was a bad relationship between my father and (step mother) and can confirm it is not good for the children, again in my opinion, better to separate, as the children are better of, and still love both parents in the long run.
-
Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
Again in my humble opinion, if you are thinking of doing anything that has the potential of harming another person, then don't do it. Sometimes things are done unintentionally which can't be helped (men are quite often guilty of this as sometimes they are stupid, just men), as long as it is unintentional though there should not be no problem. Having sex with another person though is an intentional act. If it something done intentionally, knowing the action, words or gesture could hurt another person, then I believe it is unacceptable.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I sf don't know you both...But ur love and respect for each other shine through.. Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You do know it's not all about sex!!!!!!! Hubby and I had problems, it wasn't about SEX, it was about being sexually attracted........... When was the last time you gave your wife a massage, a dinner, a romantic getaway..... THAT WAS NOT ABOUT SEX....... Seriously, when was the last time you made her feel like a desirable being, not a mother, not a wife, not a caretaker, not a social expert............. When is the last time you portrayed yourself as a virile male that desired her........ Yes, fine, go for the quick fix if that's what you are into........... However, think!!!!!!. If you put that effort in, the rewards can be amazing......... At this moment in time I'm in a bitchy mood and really, ARE YOU KIDDING ME
-
Mr_MrsAraps
10 years ago
I hear what your saying Bigmamma, and agree with your points but there is also the question of what is the the wife's sex drive compared to the Op. If she is perfectly happy with sex once every couple of months then no matter how much concern he might show etc etc it won't do much good because sexually they are not compatible. Comes back to how he is going to approach it. Either in an ethical way, seeking a degree of openness or keep going behind her back and eventually get caught.
-
Starfish0
10 years ago
So what happened in the marriage that stopped the sexual desire? When you meet someone there is lust, a connection, you fall in love, you date, you get married, you have children. Did the dating and love just stop after children? Priorities in life change after children. Did you feel left out by the children getting all the attention? Do you still romance, date, do nice things for your wife (and her for you) just because you can! Marriage is a two way street and takes work from both sides. Communication Respect Honesty All go along way If you don't have these what is the point of being together D - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think the only one to be haunted by demons of betrayal will be you my friend . Good luck . - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Nice . - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
OP sounds like my girlfriend and her hubby. They appear super happy, say I love you at the end of every phone conversation, etc, They have been together for 25 years or something but after the kids 10 years ago she decided that having sex at christmas time and for his birthday was enough. He gave up asking after a few years, so she is thrilled that he is now on the same page as her and doesn't need sex anymore. Sadly he had a cold this year so his birthday root was postponed .... until next year I assume. I have tried talking to her about it, I have told her about all the married guys on RHP saying the same thing but she wont believe that her husband is anything but happy with the way things are, after all she is happy not knowing how he relieves his sexual pressure. I can't get through to her at all.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Winging_it, it seems as if you've done everything you can to keep your relationship with your wife happy and fulfilled in the bedroom. It sounds to me however, as if she just isn't interested, so why feel guilty? I know you don't and I don't either. I've been 'cheating' on my husband very discreetly for five years and I suspect he knows something...I suspect your wife does too and simply puts up with the situation because you are to all intents and purposes an otherwise attentive husband. I had the same kinds of discussion at one point with my husband, about spicing up our sex life, when he first began to have problems 'keeping it up'. But unfortunately, ours never was and never will be that open or intimate a relationship and the longer I've stayed with him, the more I realize what an abusive control freak he is. (I only stay because it's convenient and for our kids but have no guilt about cheating on him.) I asked him if I could take a lover purely for sex and got walloped for it. Yes, technically you're 'cheating' and so am I. But at least you still care about your wife and would want to have a more adventurous sex life with HER. I don't have that option. I don't think that makes either of us bad people - we are just making the best of an unfulfilling situation.
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Sorry OP.... I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt at first.... because Ive been where you are (the frustration part... not the lying/cheating part). But then you wrote this.... "if she was to suddenly turn around today and say we need to change things in our sexual relationship to bring us closer I would stop at a drop of a hat" Now, I just think you're just another selfish man, thinking about his sex, and why he's not 'getting' sex. Yes, you used all the right words about love and going out and loving the kids etc, but to me, it seems that its all about you, because the words and the deeds are incongruent. IF? I don't recall IF being part of marriage vows.... and no good relationship is built on a foundation of ifs. When you make it acceptable... or in your case, preferable, to disrespect her in her mind as you do....to satisfy your own sexual needs..... she feels it... subconsciously at first, then emotively. She knows, and her lack of respect for you as a Man is causing her to withdraw further. Strong words....and I know you really don't enjoy reading them..... but then, you know that your actions are stronger. DG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SpanglishFun' I have just read yr further 'explanation' on why u cheat...in my eyes, yv only sunk yrself deeper in the shit...!! Yr wife had a few roots with yr bff PRIOR to having kids...So r u still angry & making her pay for a few transgressions many years ago..?? You say yr marriage almost broke because of this, & u both clawed yr way back... Well obviously she felt guilty & did everything in her power to gain forgiveness from u - In cluding bearing u children (not an easy task..trust me..Pregnancy & birth is max pain). Grow up...Move past it... Don't use this as an excuse to continually hurt & disrespect yr wife... She has paid the price.. Huh? She has had children as an apology for rooting the guys best friend? What the? Sorry but that would be a deal breaker for me. A stranger I could forgive but your best friend absolutely not, I would have left her after that. Now the OP has no respect for her at all so is rooting around and doesn't feel any guilt. After all she did worse first... right? Why do people put up with second best ?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
DG probably has a very good point there. I would say it is not improbable that she knows you are cheating, even if she doesn't know the extent, and has lost respect for you. If I knew someone was lying to me over and over again I wouldn't think much of that person at all and I personally could not be sexually attracted to a man I had no respect for. I think you should be asking deeper questions of yourself and your wife.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' OP sounds like my girlfriend and her hubby. They appear super happy, say I love you at the end of every phone conversation, etc, They have been together for 25 years or something but after the kids 10 years ago she decided that having sex at christmas time and for his birthday was enough. He gave up asking after a few years, so she is thrilled that he is now on the same page as her and doesn't need sex anymore. Sadly he had a cold this year so his birthday root was postponed .... until next year I assume. I have tried talking to her about it, I have told her about all the married guys on RHP saying the same thing but she wont believe that her husband is anything but happy with the way things are, after all she is happy not knowing how he relieves his sexual pressure. I can't get through to her at all. Crikey! This story sounds familiar : P For the record I did neck/shoulder and foot massages nearly every night for years.. And before the stereotype or generalising police step in, no I didn't expect something every time. Occasional would have been nice.. but no, the affection was all pretty much one way. Fast forward a decade and I'm well and truly over trying to live to her expectations, or even try to. Hence I am here. Does she know? Possibly, she's not dumb.. but she does have an endless line of credit at the denial store. : ( And before those tat wish to throw stones chime in.. thank gawd I have met the occasional person who actually gets it and knows what it's like. END OF RANT. ; )
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Why this post annoys me so........ It is not the fact that OP is 'cheating', it's the fact that he is bragging about it............. To me there is a big difference between a person who is at least discreet about the fact they are going behind there partners back and one who just rubs their face in it........... By OP putting this on the forum, he has been disrespectful on so many levels.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Look. I have been married 27 years. I was faithful for 20. I just don't find my husband sexually attractive. I would love it if I did. I have had a playmate for just under 4 years. Who I guess I am I. Love with. With him. I am just me. Not the provider. Not the wife. Not the mum. I wrestle with the guilt. But the fact is I will not end it. I could not go back to the passionless sex So I will make sure I do not get hurt as I don't want to hurt Hubby or playmates wife. It's not as easy as just leaving. It's not black and white. If I get caught I will just have to accept consequences. In the meantime. I feel blessed. This is not how I thought my marriage would turn out. But here I am 27 years later. And this is it. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
You fixed your profile OP. As the Mirror post says, only you know. Question- are you living or existing ? Remember, we only get one shot at this life.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
No excuses,when i know my husband playing up behind my back,i thought myself i do the same,but i couldn't do it,after all I'm a woman and his a man,for me nothing to lose from a man,but woman it does,i(magine my point,)but i fill the heart of your wife,and don't believe you don't fell guilty about it,man,when you say i love you to your wife!!!!! If you do love her why? having 3 woman in one day?I think you are the big problem to the married,Mybe you are trying them for your own selfish mind and not think of your worst all,really ?? What i can say just move on,or you don't want to walk away because no cook you dinner?no one wash your clothes?or what,i can't believe you,just grow up, - Posted from rhpmobile
-
dms2004
10 years ago
Has no one bothered to read his second comment that mentions the couple had already hit rock bottom because the wife had cheated with his best friend? Keep that in mind folks when you start labelling the poor guy. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We are all adults and make our decisions for whatever reason. It may have started to "even the score" for her cheating with your friend and perhaps that still justifies your actions in your mind. You can continue to "be happy, content and satisfied", but eventually there will be natural consequences. It is invertible. I always remember my father as saying when we were kids nd doing something that we knew we shouldn't: "It's all fun until someone get's hurt". It's not just your happiness at stake here, but your wife's, your kid's and others who are directly and in directly involved. I believe you are probably a good person at heart and probably have convinced yourself that this is OK because you are "happy", together with your wife and kids and satisfied. Trouble is that you are being dishonest and that will be what will bring the consequences. Maybe if she knew she would be happy to allow you your freedom and she could have hers.... whatever form that takes. But the dishonest and breaking of trust will be what does the damage.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
There, I said it. I blew my usual reasonable and tolerant aura to bits and confessed that cheating is the topic that really raises my ire. (Like some of you don't know that already.) Having sex with someone else is barely a blip on the cheating radar compared to what's usually, really going on. Cheating is about lying, breach of trust, and betrayal. It's not about sex. When you enter into a commitment with someone you promise them things - honesty, faith, trust whatever. Sometimes the promise is explicit, often just an understanding of what a committed relationship means. Unless you've agreed to a different kind of relationship, a commitment usually means these things. Cheating breaches all of those promises. I don't care what your partner has done to make you feel like cheating, the act of cheating is yours to own. No excuses, no blaming your partner for your choice. They might be a right selfish prick, but the choice to cheat is still yours. They didn't MAKE you do it and it's not justified by whatever they did. A relationship isn't a game of point scoring and one-upmanship, after all. Everyone have alternatives. Talk to your partner, be honest, and see where things end up. I don't buy any of the arguments about not wanting to confess or even leave because of the kids/money/whatever excuse. Someone who cheats is making a solo decision about what's best for their relationship and forcing that decision on their partner without their partner's knowledge. It's not having sex outside a relationship that gets my back up. It's the utter chickenshit immaturity and selfishness of the (incredibly predictable) reason cheaters give. Grow the fuck up, I say. Meeka, based only on what you wrote here and naturally only in my opinion ... If your friend can't believe her husband isn't happy, he needs to tell her. Not you, him. If he tells her and she still doesn't believe it, he needs to be clear and direct with her about the consequences if nothing changes. Eg, he's going to seek sex elsewhere, or he's going to leave her, or whatever. If she doesn't accept the consequences she has her own choices to make - bury her head in the sand and pretend it's not happening, change, leave, whatever. But until she knows in clear detail how he feels and what he's doing (or is going to do), any choice he makes to have sex outside the marriage is a betrayal and a lie. No excuses. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
When I got married I signed up for life. I had a few offers over time for play with others in circumstances where I would NEVER had been caught, but I knocked them back. As BL says, it's about trust not sex. A few years back we had a real rough patch. No crockery throwing arguments, but the sex tap was turned off with no real explanation. You know what I did OP? I HAD THE DIFFICULT CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE. And it turned out she was looking to broaden her sexual horizons, just as I was considering. Enter RHP, which not only gave us another 18 months or more of happy marriage, but now we're divorced we are still good friends, which would not have been the case had I not had that conversation. There was and is trust on both sides. That is the key. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
I'd rather be single than trapped in a sham marriage any day. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Real men honour their vows and don't cheat on their wives.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Pink_Lotus' Quoting 'inthekiss' II was frustrated for years, the good wife. Then I left my husband, to find something out there but realized I am emotionally attached to my husband, but not sexually You are not sneaking around behind your husband's back! you could always come over and ask him if you like. He has met many of my friends of RHPbut do i throw it in his face. NO so yes I guess I do sneak around to a lovers house now and again.So feel free to come over and grill us both, so that we can measure up to your standards. News flash, " inthekiss passes RHP morality test" pasted the grill from sexual Salem police force
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' OP sounds like my girlfriend and her hubby. They appear super happy, say I love you at the end of every phone conversation, etc, They have been together for 25 years or something but after the kids 10 years ago she decided that having sex at christmas time and for his birthday was enough. He gave up asking after a few years, so she is thrilled that he is now on the same page as her and doesn't need sex anymore. Sadly he had a cold this year so his birthday root was postponed .... until next year I assume. I have tried talking to her about it, I have told her about all the married guys on RHP saying the same thing but she wont believe that her husband is anything but happy with the way things are, after all she is happy not knowing how he relieves his sexual pressure. I can't get through to her at all. It pains me to see guys suffer and women as well. One not slept with her husband ten years, she said just because i am married does not mean i have to have sex. they have a house, kids and work and they just have a reasonable life together plus she really could not care if he went someplace else, so she says but I would think his arse would be grass if he did. the other the woman no sex with husband 15 years he is very depressed and she stands by her man when many would have given up and left. Another her husband never speaks to her, lord knows she tries but he comes home sits on the couch has his dinner and goes to bed. Again they are older in life and bought a house together if they split just because of sex then they would both be on a pension and homeless. Think big picture and long term here. Sex always fades, always, unless your super human , chemistry can change for women if you have a child, if you go off or on the pill. What floats your boat at 25 does not at 55 when your bloody tired and tired of the same o sam o. people PRETEND they have a happy smoking sex life. You crack the shell of it all and you find unhappy frustrated folk that's NORMAL a guy could take you to dinner, pull your chair out, buy you flowers, and wing of the shower curtain and whistle Dixie, and all you want to do is go to bed with fluffy pj and read a book. Separate bedrooms save marriages so do lovers on the side. the pressure to perform like a trained seal because your married is silly. Not all men are Huge Jackman in some romantic comedy its bloody unrealistic to think your married life is always going to be all beer and skittles This is not 1950 things have changed in our society and they way we have sex and interact, those old fashioned values did not even work for your parents, its the great suburban myth in the burbs. No wonder people crowd to these sites, if what I said was not true then non of us would be on RHP. we all have needs, we are all looking for something , just like the OP each needs to find their own way and this man had guts to write here, and he put his head in the village stock for those to make him target practice. perhaps this is a way for him to punish himself. For taking a verbal dressing down, perhaps he does feel guilt about what he does. He sure is taking a rotten tomatoes for it.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Consider one scenario...Your get complacent and slip up and get found out by your wife.Imagine yourself living on your own estranged from your wife and children and drinking yourself into oblivion to overcome your pain.Be honest and walk out on your marriage if your not happy with your sex life, but don't deceive the people that really love you for a few minutes of risky sex.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I suspect he's getting the rotten tomatoes because he's a liar. Doesn't matter what his wife did or didn't do. Two wrongs don't make a right and all that hoopla. If people want to cheat and lie that's their business but if they decide to come onto a forum and ask for opinions they're going to get them. Agreeable and disagreeable. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I have no idea if my friend's husband is finding it elsewhere at all. All I say to my friend is that she should at least ask him if he is happy with the way things are... Because she doesn't. I think she should be more careful and caring of her relationship, in my opinion, she obviously doesn't agree with me though. Since he has not said anything to her I can only assume that he is happy with the ways things are although If he was cheating I couldn't 100% blame him because my friend has changed the implied clause is their marriage contract without his consultation at all. Must be hard to be constantly rejected by someone you love. Her hubby is a good catch I think so what happens if someone younger makes a play for him.... If someone wants to give him the intimacy he no longer has. It would be very tempting I am sure. He is a good guy though and I am no way saying his cheating.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
OP if your wife has been through menopause perhaps she could ask her GP about hormone replacement therapy ?Women I have met swear by it, saved their sanity and the sanity of those around them. And it makes for an awesome lover !
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' There, I said it. I blew my usual reasonable and tolerant aura to bits and confessed that cheating is the topic that really raises my ire. (Like some of you don't know that already.) Having sex with someone else is barely a blip on the cheating radar compared to what's usually, really going on. Cheating is about lying, breach of trust, and betrayal. It's not about sex. When you enter into a commitment with someone you promise them things - honesty, faith, trust whatever. Sometimes the promise is explicit, often just an understanding of what a committed relationship means. Unless you've agreed to a different kind of relationship, a commitment usually means these things. Cheating breaches all of those promises. I don't care what your partner has done to make you feel like cheating, the act of cheating is yours to own. No excuses, no blaming your partner for your choice. They might be a right selfish prick, but the choice to cheat is still yours. They didn't MAKE you do it and it's not justified by whatever they did. A relationship isn't a game of point scoring and one-upmanship, after all. Everyone have alternatives. Talk to your partner, be honest, and see where things end up. I don't buy any of the arguments about not wanting to confess or even leave because of the kids/money/whatever excuse. Someone who cheats is making a solo decision about what's best for their relationship and forcing that decision on their partner without their partner's knowledge. It's not having sex outside a relationship that gets my back up. It's the utter chickenshit immaturity and selfishness of the (incredibly predictable) reason cheaters give. Grow the fuck up, I say. Meeka, based only on what you wrote here and naturally only in my opinion ... If your friend can't believe her husband isn't happy, he needs to tell her. Not you, him. If he tells her and she still doesn't believe it, he needs to be clear and direct with her about the consequences if nothing changes. Eg, he's going to seek sex elsewhere, or he's going to leave her, or whatever. If she doesn't accept the consequences she has her own choices to make - bury her head in the sand and pretend it's not happening, change, leave, whatever. But until she knows in clear detail how he feels and what he's doing (or is going to do), any choice he makes to have sex outside the marriage is a betrayal and a lie. No excuses. - Posted from rhpmobile why don't you tell us what you really think this gets people hot under the collar and really it goes around and around. If you don't want to cheat then don't. Your belief is based on things you have been taught. Or if you got cheated on( i have been cheated on and took some of the blame in that one) but please do not get to that ragging flag waving , spittle out your mouth rhetoric. For me cheating is a fake picture on your profile, that gets my blood boiling, some topics are just like that. It tickles my funny bone no end when I see someone get all fired up over cheating, when they do have a fake profile or they do have old pictures or they do have other little things that you know are so no who they are offline. Not saying this is you, but saying that's how I feel about it all. Bit of the kettle and the pot thing I guess. were are all grown ups and it is simple, we make our own choices, right or wrong. your relationships must be pretty simple and black and white. But that fine each to their own but the old, grow up stuff, really? does that mean that anyone that does something that meets with your disapproval is a child? cuppa anyone?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
think you are asking for troubleif you want to play it is better if all up front with wife talk about ityou may be surprised i was and now we both wantor is that your worry that wife will want more than you can give
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Twisted Mister. ... And....Winging It.. You asked for people's opinions and you sure got them. Lots of very good advice.. Especially the stuff you don't want to hear. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You state our beliefs cime from past experiences, & if we have been cheated on...What..??? That is a very simplistic view, with no basis for rational logic. Yes, we all follow a different moral conpass, based on our personal culture, upbringing, past experiences, religiosity etc..But please think about this.... The negative aspect we usually associate with bias does not come from bias itself but rather the belief that comes with it. Belief produces a set of brackets around a point of view that says in effect "The answer lies here." Once you believe you have found the answer, your point of view becomes biased, and prejudiced) and prevents you from looking at other possible alternatives. Again, beliefs act as a barrier to further understanding. If a person develops a faith in a point of view, then it becomes overwhelming to the point that nothing, even in the light of convincing evidence Hence, what is wrong or right to one person may be very different to someone else. We are all entitled to our own viewpoints..& the OP was fully aware that others will not agree with his path in life. So what? His life - not mine to fuck up - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Same diff - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
well I recon honesty is the best policy ..how would you feel if it was done to you ..well good luck with everything and hope you come clean with your wife she may want to explore as well
-
DTE_couple
10 years ago
We believe he should introduce his wife into swinging and then see what happens hmmmmmmm.........Think we know what would happen then. We get lots of cheating husbands contacting us, you can tell who they are. They are only free during week days when they are meant to be at work. And they cant make it weeknights because they can't make up good enough excuses to get away from their wives weeknights. Then single guys wonder why most couples are not interested in them. We heard of a really bad scenario once where the wife followed her hubby to his meet with a couple. Lets just say it ended up on the news. So we don't want to get in the middle of someone cheating on their wife and the single male lying to us and then us have to face his wife, do you think she would believe us that we did not know......This is why we like playing with Solid couples, or parties or clubs
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Wow! What a hot topic and something people are really passionate about. I get it, it sucks to be cheated on. But life is filled with so much complexity. Nothing is as simple as it may seem on the surface. Thanks for having the courage to post this, Winging_it. You are certainly not alone. There are many, many people on this site in the same boat. Unfortunately, not many willing to speak up. I've been married for 17 years, we have both been unfaithful in the past but are trying to work on things and are committed to sticking together for our kids and because we have a mutual love for each other. I'm here on RHP because of the lack in our sex lives. It's super tough to be continually rejected sexually by the only one person who you are 'allowed' to be with sexually. I come here to stay sane. My sex drive is very high to say the least and this offers me an outlet. I'm not doing meets because I'm trying to 'be good' and only engage in chat and cam play. Many would say it's still cheating, I don't know, maybe it is.... I do know that I can cope with my commitment and handle the daily struggles that life presents when I have this outlet. Maybe I'm just looking for a way to excuse my behaviour but honestly, I'm just surviving. I don't think any of us can have an understanding of the life of others unless they've walked in their shoes.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Someone recently accused me of acting saintly. I thought I'd balance things out by sharing my uncensored thoughts for a change ;) I'm comfortable speaking my mind - what I say, the way I say it etc. Thanks for the invitation for me to stop doing so, but I'll happily continue as I wish. Since you asked, I absolutely think making excuses for your behaviour is childish. I don't care what the behaviour is. When you justify it by saying 'my wife did this' or 'my husband did that' I think it's immature and irresponsible. Do what you want, but at least take responsibility for it and call it what it is, without trying to whitewash it under a sob story. Everyone has a sob story of one kind or another but not everyone uses it to excuse dishonest behaviour. And since you brought up fake pics, note that your point supports exactly what I've always said: Everyone's line in the sand is in a different spot when it comes to truth and honesty. Yours is in one spot, mine is in another, neither is actually right or wrong. And so ... my post is an opinion. Like it, or leave it, or challenge it. Up to you. But it you try to tell me what I can it can't say it will fall on very deaf ears I'm afraid. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
latinlover6169
10 years ago
That is why I love RHP I get to share my love and affection with my beautiful wife and with whoever she chooses to be with, we get to meet them together then if we are both happy get to fulfill our fantasies together. It is not always easy nothing is in life but to watch her enjoying herself and sometimes joining in has been wonderful for our marriage. Everyone is different and all I can hope is the Liaisons we share with each other stay shared and we never have to hide from the truth or lie to each other. I am sure not all our partners have been single as they profess but they have to live with this and how they deal with it is their concern
-
RHP User
10 years ago
A Sham marriage. Bloody judgemental people on here. Nothing sham about my marriage. Except we don't have sex. Should I throw 27 years away As you all have said marriage is more than just sex I don't judge anymore. I have seen good people do bad things. Marriage is hard to juggle for a period of time. What works for you may not work for another couple - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I can totally relate.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Yep I know , we had the fake picture when you had a different name and picture . We are not even in the same beach. I have no desire to gag you at all. Your very entertaining - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I believe we had discussion on the fake pictures before. I guess it's like a cluster fuck. With cheating the partner is deceived and hurt. Fake profiles and pictures target a bigger number if people to fuck over. It's a rifle it a shot gun , the results are the sane. People get deceived and hurt. My views might be a bit different but my degree is anthropology, so human behaviour and my understanding may come from that place. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
MsJonesy
10 years ago
Sigh. I don't think I have ever posted on one of these contentious forums before. But this time I am; I am slightly over the sanctimonious commentary being offered. Let us not forget there are two people in a marriage/partnership. Therefore there are two people who must weigh the consequences of their actions. Why is fault only ever laid at the feet of the cheating man? Where is the acknowledgement that two people contribute to the success of a marriage/partnership? If a woman decides on a certain path of action which ensures she does not engage in sexual acts with her partner, why do we not judge her? I am not advocating for the inherently flawed 'she drove me to it' argument, but a realisation that for every action there is a consequence. The following is a philosophical viewpoint and is not only related to the OP's situation. I would like people to consider..... If a woman has decided to no longer have sex with her man, how is she treating him with respect? How is she honoring her vows (this is offered as other posters have used this argument)? When is she having an honest conversation with him about the fact that she no longer wants sex, or will only indulge on his birthday and christmas - reluctantly and with no real desire to share physical contact and immersion with him? Has she sat him down and had a conversation about it? Has she told him why, or has it been a series of excuses or worse, just ignoring his approaches? Or has he been stuck in the horrible, humiliating and soul destroying arena of trying to gain her attention again? Why is it that men in these situations have to go to such lengths to try to re-engage their partners? Why can't she actually engage in a conversation about it? NOTE - I am well aware that the reverse situation also exists. I am framing my questions in light of the OP's gender. Both people in the marriage/partnership need to take responsibility for their own actions, visualise the worst case scenario brought on by their actions, and take their stand knowingly full well what the worst consequences could be. In the OP's case, and in my opinion, his actions are no worse nor no better than his wife.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Kissk... The problem is that we only have his (initial) gloating side of the story... So he cops his whack... Essentially until he's on the receiving end of his own behavior, he won't see or feel the hurt, as many in and out of here don't... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
And a you are correct about her (the other party) it's true that they more often than not don't explain why they deny sex, and it's often accompanied by the "you can fuck anything you want, but I'm out of here..." Type of attitude... Hence the lies, deceit and sneaking around... Horrible situation to be in... Some choose to leave and live life by their terms, some to stay and suffer or stay and cheat... But essentially it comes back to poor or inadequate communication... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' OP if your wife has been through menopause perhaps she could ask her GP about hormone replacement therapy ?Women I have met swear by it, saved their sanity and the sanity of those around them. And it makes for an awesome lover ! Thats a worthwhile consideration.... if it became an issue now..... ....but the boundary was crossed 15 years ago, so Its not relevant here. My view is, I doubt the OP has ever been faithful in any relationship.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We were never meant to be intimate with just one person....EVER. I fucked my ex wife friends, almost all of them really, dirty little sluts they were. Some of them I fucked while my wife was right next to me, either kidding them or licking my balls. Fuck everything you want to fuck I say.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Interesting, now you've changed your protection level to "always for all activities" ;) You asked for honest and honestly I think you're a selfish asshole :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If real men don't cheat and honour their vowels and their wives, what class is women come under in the same situation I ask you JimmyLongcock.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Highpriority gloating was never my intention Please read the other comments I have been on the receiving end
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Wonderful comments - one of the more interesting forums and actually really enjoying the diversity of views and the honest and respectful interactions, even where people have diametrically opposed views. It takes two to tango, as it takes two to not tango. In a perfect world we would all have that discussion with our partner - honesty is definitely the best policy. However that is not always possible - some people just won't or can't talk about sex and relationships. I tried for a long time to have that discussion, but was rebuffed with an innocent "I would never" response. Years later it turned out "Mother Theresa" had been bonking "Mr Canada" every year for the last 6 years. Years of gentle discussion, providing lots of space to grow and support and we now have a mutually supportive, open communicatrion, separated life that works perfectly for both of us given the complexities of work, family, finance and everything else. Not judging is important - in most cases there are not "baddies" and goodies" - there is just life and situations. Those living in those situations can work through how to best solve them - those outside live in glass houses - even if well meaning. Complete honesty is where I am most comfortable, but it can take time, and balancing honesty with not hurting those you love or loved is a subtle call. Patience and exceptional communication is critical - unfortunately these most important skills are not taught to us well, if at all. Given that, it is pretty amazing so many of us do as well as we do. :-)
-
eukie
10 years ago
I find it slightly amusing that nearly 95% of all the berating is coming from the ladies on here... and those ' singles ' on here are giving him a serve about what marriage is, values blah blah blah.. oh please, stop waxing your saddle on your high horse and maybe have a think that this poor bloke is actually giving a cry for help - and instead of trying to shoot him - you should be asking him a few more questions before you light the bonfire and burn him at the stake like a witch.. It's for reason's like this, being a non-societal norm that guys dont open up to people when they're having problems.. I'm really glad that some of the self gratification is being done online - and I hope that anyone who would judge another without really knowing their 'situation' seem to be so morally high... on a site like RHP.. Seriously, get off your high horses.. do your workmates all know you're on here ? how would you feel if those photo's of you in your lingerie were shown to your parents or your friends ? Double standards or what... ( /soapbox ) And no, I'm not condoning or endorsing - I just think there's a whole bunch of hypocrites in here that seem to have absolutely no problem throwing stones at others..
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Hahahaha.. Well I am just gobsmacked.. And OMG.. So surprised at all the comments.. And by other men too!! I just want to say that I thought I knew what most of the comments could be.. BUT THANKYOU EVERYONE, YOU HAVE RESTORED MY FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE!! I feel like crying and laughing at the same time! My response is, the reason you feel no guilt when you cheat Sir, is because you are most likely a NARSSISIST, as they feel no remorse or guilt over wrong doing to others an basically live to please yourselves!! I HONESTLY thought 99% of people? especially men were just like you!! I am floored how wrong I was an sooo relieved.. As I have encountered these types from the day I started dating and have been betrayed and devastated by cheating.. My husband of 17yrs had an affair with my bestest friend in the world an losing them both on the same day was more than I could bare.. I actually felt completely worthless an lower than a bug an tried to end my life cos the pain an agony was greater than anything I had ever experienced an I was dying from the pain, so I tried to numb that torture an felt I didn't deserve to live.. I since then have encountered two more relationships.. And the cheating and lying has been 10 x worse each time.. I loved being a family and I loved being a wife.. But thought I could never find anyone willing and able to love me enough to forsake all others!! Thankyou everyone for your comments, it has healed another layer of my betrayal.. Just maybe there is someone out there for me.. I will never give up hope.. You've made my day/night!! Love you all!!! Xxxx
-
SpikeDownunder
10 years ago
Winging it, you say about your wife, "if anything happened to her I would do anything for her as any husband would do." Something is happening to your wife, right now. She is being cheated on by her husband who no longer respects her. You may both have lost respect for each other a long time ago, and you both may be guilty of where your marriage is now, and you both have the responsibility to change it. I tried for many years to keep my marriage together, to the detriment of my wife, my kids and my own well being. The first months of separation were hell, but with time, good counselling and a lot of communication, my ex-wife, my kids, and I are much happier. I hope you recognise that your exploits are deceitful and will not bring anyone long term happiness. Take responsibility for your actions. Deal with the issues (sex is a symptom, not the cause). This does not necessarily mean that you have to split up, but it does mean you have to take a very big step that will change your life forever. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
My "X" Wife she thought she was getting away with it for 4 years. When I first found out the facts and spoke to her about it, of course it is deny, deny, deny. We had 2 children together a nice house, boats, motorcycles and a life we loved and niether wanted to lose that so I left the topic alone. Until the next time when she told me she was in one place with her girlfriends and she was actually at a resort fucking my neighbour silly. Again I questioned her whereabouts and and again it was deny deny deny. From the first time I had found out that this was happening until the day I left her 7 years later I had slept with 20 women that she had no idea about. I always said to her if you fuck around on me I will pay you back 10 fold. The day i left her was a saturday, my kids were away at there grandparents for the weekend and she was at work. I wrote down on a piece of paper the two guys names that i knew she was fucking with x 10 after them = 20 and then wrote down all of the first names of the 20 women that i had slept with. Just think about it, she might be doing the exact thing to you !! P.sI have since found my best friend and soul mate and we fuck our women together. Good Luck !! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' Quoting 'Pink_Lotus'You are not sneaking around behind your husband's back! you could always come over and ask him if you like. He has met many of my friends of RHPbut do i throw it in his face. NO so yes I guess I do sneak around to a lovers house now and again.So feel free to come over and grill us both, so that we can measure up to your standards. Did you misread my comment or did I express myself poorly? What I meant was that (from what I've understood from your comments) you and your husband have a mutual agreement you can/will have lovers.He chooses not to hear any details, but he does know and therefore he has been able to make the informed decision to stay in the marriage, and happily so. (It sounds like you both adore and trust each other.) One of my issues with the OP's situation is that his wife is not able to give informed consent and does not get a choice.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share