RHP

RHP User

F53

Domestic Violence - do you know of anyone currently affected by it?

August 29 2013

I have been in two minds as to wether or not to share this but I feel either at the very least simply being aware may be helpful to someone or it could very well be the difference between the life and death of someone you know.   It is not an easy thing to get out of. In some cases it is not all bad, there can be some incredibly unbelievably good times in between that make the bad times seem insignificant. Many women get out but for any number reasons they end up going back, one of which is often overlooked by outsiders looking in.   Domestic violence is a repetitive cycle of 4 stages (there's the build up, the violence itself, the blame and the remorse).   When you're living with an abusive man (or woman) you know exactly what stage of the cycle he is at at any given time. You know when you can expect the worse, you know how long that particular stage is going to last. When you leave, you no longer know what stage of the cycle he is at, you're living in constant fear - you go back (knowledge is power in a weird sense of irony).   When he misses the remorse stage of the cycle, that's when you need to get out - and stay out. When he stops being sorry and goes straight to the next stage in the cycle - that's when you need to be fearing for your life, that's when he is at his most dangerous. If he is going to kill you, he will at this point.

Comments

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sorry - it was the 'haha' at the end of your post that made me question where you were coming from with it but even so I had no business saying that. It's great to see that you and others are trying to help her escape! All the best MindOPEN, it wont be easy but it is possible ;)

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