F41
Ghosting
August 11 2019
Comments
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GoodKarma
5 years ago
Shit that sounds terrible. That's so messed up if they did that on purpose - name and shame? If it was just because a personal emergency came up and they couldn't let you know in time then that's fair enough though. Not everyone is like that. And it isn't personal.
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badboyhere
5 years ago
Hi there. I feel your pain. You have described exactly the types of feelings that we all go through when this happens. You look forward to the event only to come up to the time when the meet happens and you start to wonder, are they having problems finding the address, traffic problems, why am I not getting a message from them telling me they will be 10minutes late. This turns into half an hour, and then half an hour turns into an hour and this when all the negative feelings of worthlessness and failure start. The best advice I can offer you is that for every let down there is honourable RHP member that will commit to a meet up with you and both of you will share another great experience. Stick with it because the great experiences are just around the corner. Best of luck in your search xx
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RHP User
5 years ago
It's not a reflection on you and shouldn't affect how you see yourself or your self worth. There are guys who are good at posturing and posing but as timid as a mouse come crunch time. Good on you for committing to a meet. Don't take anything personally, it's really not you that's screwed up.
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kittyzkatz
5 years ago
I’ve been ghosted and it was horrible. I actually saw the guy multiple times. Developed a trust before the first meeting too. We were in contact casually for around 5-6 months. I started to let my guard down and even began to like him. He led me on by saying things he didn’t mean and I got played. In the end, he just ghosted me and cut off every single contact. I was a wreck for a while and confused. Because of him, I’m careful not to let my guard down anymore and I’m selective on who I meet. I understand not every guy is an asshole like him though.
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RHP User
5 years ago
All about timing and inclination.Some people just get cold feet and are too cowardly to let you know. It's all about them,not about you..happens to most of us. Hugs Q
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RHP User
5 years ago
Looking at the woman that this has happened to, I'm astonished., If they have no excuse then there are only 2 things that explain it. 1. They have just decided that they are gay, it which case they would probably explain it and would love to have a girlfriend to talk too, so count that excuse out. 2. They are limp dick inconsiderate knobs who do not understand that any women that agrees to meet them should be placed before themselves and totally respected. I am sorry that there are men out there that think this behaviour is acceptable. Fucking idiots.
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Mischeviouslad
5 years ago
Ghosting or in this case.... flaking.... can be avoided through some simple preliminary methods First and foremost.... always speak via phone before meeting. Always. That will prevent the vast majority of it
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RHP User
5 years ago
There are so many valid reasons why someone didn’t turn up. Unfortunately it’s probably the most common reason, they weren’t who they pretended to be and get their thrills from imagining what it would be like to be with someone as amazing as you. But they don’t understand how devastating it can be, to put yourself out there, be vulnerable and feel the rejection when they don’t show. As a rule, if I say I am doing something, I show up. Whether I am sick, under immense pressure at work or if I get a better offer, I still go, because it’s the right thing to do. And sometimes, you are surprised, sometimes they are better than you thought.... But never blame yourself, if they don’t show, you probably dodged a bullet because they are either selfish, will use you, and think of no one but themselves. Or are weak and cowardly.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I always message an hour before meeting confirming - if they don’t respond then I don’t go. Peoples time is a valuable commodity these days and there is no reason to be disrespectful to anyone - if a person changes their mind that’s fine but they should at least have the decency to communicate that. Block the person and move on - it takes seconds to send a message if they are not coming so there is no excuse. I’m sure there are 100 more guys on here that will be more respectful to you, best of luck!
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RHP User
5 years ago
But I am not amazing. In no way do I put myself on a pedestal. I am no fussy on looks, only on personality. And he seemed to be the perfect fit for me... I don't know how or why they do it....
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RHP User
5 years ago
Its not you. Ive been ghosted a lot via messaging. After a couple of messages where we seem to be compatible, he wants to meet so I suggest a day and place and Poof! Hello Casper.There are some men on here who give their egos a little stroke or who are social misfits living out a lie on dating sites. Being someone else. Tyre kickers, time wasters, whatever you want to call them. Thats why Ive changed my profile to social meets only for now. I think most people have experienced it and its a crap feeling. There are some great guys on here so dont give up just yet....youre a lovely person and deserve more than a fake waste of space x
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Never had it happen to me. The thing with ghosting and to stop it is, do not do it to the next person. Until you actually met them face to face, there should be no expectations or pressure. Until then, they owe you nothing, you owe them nothing. They are just a profile with writing, words and pictures (that's if they have them), that's it. If they ghost they were just not that into you and someone else has caught their attention. Next. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Agree with other posters. Put a safe plan in action prior meeting. IE: phone chat etc. Ms Foxy
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SpicyKale
5 years ago
Exploring2019 has the right idea. Sometimes you need a tough skin on here. We were ghosted a couple of times early on and as a result it's mr here that does most of the online stuff. When you're organising time off, sitters for kids etc.., then you're ghosted! A message a couple of hours before is a great idea. As a couple we always have a date night together if we have a no show, as a single we're sure the feeling is even worse. It made us very cautious early on and we've probably missed out on some genuine people because our BS meter is a tad too finely turned. Our own mental health is way more important than other peoples crap. Single guys can judge away, but you get an idea on why some of us get a little gun shy.
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MsJonesy
5 years ago
But don't invest until you meet. That may sound cynical and cold hearted but by not doing so, you end up hurt - like you are now. Until you meet in the flesh, they could be anyone. Pictures can be (and are) ripped off the internet and used for a fake profile. Words on a profile are just words, and similarly can be ripped from anywhere on the internet. There is a bloke's profile on here which is at least 70% of my old profile wording, from when I was actually seeking people. All I can suggest is to not invest too much in online chatter and building an "incredible" connection. It will be incredible, just not in the way you imagined 😩 Be kind to yourself, you have taken a hit. Don't let the fucker bring you down x
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EarthQueen
5 years ago
Unfortunate That this had to happen on your first meet. I know it feels personal but don’t measure your worth by another persons inability to turn up ( for whatever reason) .As ML said Phone call before is good. I know we rely on text a lot and it’s less confronting but talking to the person will help you quickly decide if it feels right to meet and help a little to determine sincerity. Chalk this one up to life experience and use any lessons learned going forward . This site can mess your head up a little or a lot . Hugs x
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FeistyFatty
5 years ago
Name and shame.... so not on!!!! 👎 Irrespective of being stood up.
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FeistyFatty
5 years ago
Can't offer any further advice that others haven't already. Never happened to me, even after 9 years, so VERY lucky. You do need a very thick skin on these sites though, that's mandatory. And the longer you're on here, and meet more people, your bullshit radar will become quite refined. Don't let this flaker ruin ur experience...... delete and onto the next x
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EarthQueen
5 years ago
Sorry Re. Your question have I been ghosted. Yes once for a meet but I was kind of expecting it because I laid out some ground rules he didn’t like. I was getting a vibe and it was no great loss. I’ve never ghosted but I have called off meets at 11th hour because I got a bad gut feeling due to something he said or the tone. My safety comes first. If I get any inclination of bad vibe I bail. Doesn’t happen often though . I usually get to know people well through chat first and if they want to initially fast track or be pushy and I’m not feeling it, it’s a no.
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RHP User
5 years ago
You obviously invested too much thought and time into a complete stranger. Keep it simple messages only over short period then meet. For a no expectation coffee. Seems u need to work on yourself more. Because a stranger can't tell your worth online. Nor should u take anything on personally from someone who means nothing to u. Sounds like some online doming was involved. More than likely just some weak keyboard warrior screwing with your head and getting off on what he can get women to do online. Having said that naming and shaming is never a good reflection on you. Better to just report it. Better luck in future
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LetsFrolic
5 years ago
Happens alot and it's disgusting people do it. Disrespectful for one and if they're that arrogant and self absorbed to do it then they aren't worth breathing towards
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Mask_007
5 years ago
I don't know where to start. That does not look like a nice feeling to be put true. As well as extremely considerate of other feelings. I could not do it myself. Well best lusk next time.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I've been ghosted on a few occasions and it sucks. Yes you've never met with them but they have taken up your precious time, tricked you into thinking that you finally have some sort of connection with them and just before the meet, cut you straight off. It's cruel and time wasting. It certainly makes you jaded after a few times. Where are all the real people? Lol
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sweetas_j
5 years ago
I think it’s happened to the best of us at one time or another! Definitely a shot to the ego, but once you work out how to differentiate between the real guys and the ones who are so so, it’s worth the effort. Still happens to me every now and again, even after two years of practice! Don’t let it get you down. There are some genuinely lovely people on here. You’ve just got to find them 😊
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Whynot69today
5 years ago
Hi, Yes, I understand your frustration. I am also starting to dis like the online thing. I have tried a few dating sites now. Hence gave up on those and try this site. I am polite, well mannered and honest. I have even talked on the phone to the person, with fantastic conversations. We agree on a time and place. And then yeah ! A no show ! And like you say then you never here from them again ? I have tried also to be raunchy, but that too has no effect. I don't know ! Maybe we are talking to the wrong people ? Maybe it is our generation (age group) I do find older people way more respectful and reliable ? Anyway I wish you the best of luck with your search. Keep positive 😀. On a positive note I have had a few nice reply's, lately and hope these girls won't be ghost's also. lol 😀
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Happened in the early days. Then you fine tune your bull shit radar and develop your tools to spot the signs. As others have said, a message a few hours before your meet and l need a positive response before l start to get ready. No reply, go about your normal day. And l don't invest in the meeting. If it's an evening meet, I'll have a Netflix movie picked out as plan B. If it's a good movie I'll be pleased they didn't show
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RHP User
5 years ago
We were chatting right up to ig happening... There was the 'in jjmpjnb in the shower, I can't wait to see you' then nothing and he ix online so you know what has happened. Oh well there were warning signs but I look myself be the fool the luck hasn't been good and I had wishful thinking...
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3someparties
5 years ago
Is a fucking cowards act plain and simple. I despise people who do it for whatever reason. Man or woman, show some fucking decency. It’s not hard. A message prior is all that’s required.
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RHP User
5 years ago
on that profile you named and shamed is a fake one. Stolen off the internet. That's one of the first things you learn to check. As others have said, don't invest any emotion or expectations into someone you haven't met. You have no clue who is actually behind the profile.
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boobsandbusted
5 years ago
Simply put ,it’s his loss ,not yours , Mr b
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RHP User
5 years ago
GHOSTING ? ʗɱ
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Thanks for the chuckle .. "Decided they were gay" 😂 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
5 years ago
I am so sorry that happened to you. We had a few bad things happen in a row including being stood up. It almost made us quit entirely. This is supposed to be fun and build self esteem, not wreck it. It is not worth it if it makes you feel bad about yourself. We are still cancelled our renewal but have to the 27th to change our minds. Looking for a reason to stay. I wish I could tell you the right thing to do for you. My best advice is give it time and do what feels right.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Yes, I have only been here for a week. I had a date organised for Saturday night with a member. But I was ghosted and it never eventuated. I can see they read my messages. But never replied. I can understand if they changed their minds? But not to reply and at least explain that, seems really rude and disrespectful. I wasted an afternoon waiting for them to respond... Hard to make plans at the last minute on a Saturday night when you've committed to a date, only to be ghosted at the last minute. I really don't understand? Is this really common place here? If it is?... its a pretty low act.
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MrNatural77
5 years ago
I had that happen to me this weekend. We had been flirting best part of 3 weeks but unable to match up timing. Found a window of opportunity so we arranged to meet Saturday. Friday night the replies stopped to my messages and Saturday received nothing. If she had a change of mind a simple message would've been nice. But to ignore and say nothing left me feeling deflated too. Subsequently all contact has been cut off my end and will remain so. Suffice to say that battle rope and medicine ball got smashed the next day at the gym to get the disappointment out of me. Cheers
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The_Antichrist
5 years ago
Maybe you were to talking to David copperfield??
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RHP User
5 years ago
Ghosting seems to be a bit of a game to a lot these days. Think some people get their thrills out of leading someone on then just vanishing. It’s a pretty crappy attitude. What happened to common decency with people.
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RHP User
5 years ago
right, wrong or indifferent, you have given ownership of your own emotions to a liar, a thief and a cheat. I can write an entire book on the human propensity to do this, INCLUDING the whys and wherefores of it all -- but THAT has no good outcome at this point. Move on.Find or choose someone who you reckon is real, and has no agenda with you except being prepared to share a short time and space over a coffee... (Like a decent friend - new or old) and learn from the experience. EXPECT that it will probably happen again one day Best of luck next time girl.
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Michaeltormey
5 years ago
Your way to sexy to let that bother you he has missed out big time not you l would take his spot anytime xxx
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RHP User
5 years ago
That's ridiculous saying that. So I'm too sexy to feel like shit from this? I actually rarely get messages, and if I do, it's from people who it is impossible for me to have the relationship I'm seeking. It's a cop out that men constantly think there is something better knocking at the door.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I know how you feel hun. I’ve been chatting to some lovely people and all of a sudden I never hear from them. Either they have met someone else or they lose interest, Story of my life. But keep smiling as some things aren’t meant to be. You’ll meet that one special person soon enough. Xx
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LovethatD
5 years ago
Oh babe! I know it sucks! It’s happened a few times to me and the worst of it all is I had a guy count down the hours and then BAM no show no reply nothing since! A lot of idiots just looking for cheap thrills. Just keep swimming little miss... and remember it’s just a bit of fun so don’t let the haters get to you! 😘
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Samantha717
5 years ago
I have been in the same situation on more than one occasion..... we are not just talking ghosting here...... these people are actual ghosts they hide behind images that are not their own ....... I have found that on two occasions as well. So be very aware that often those who stand you up are not who they lead you to believe they are in the first instance. You can waste a lot of time on here connecting with people, who waste your time and simply enjoy sexting. It’s taken me a while to understand it is not me! I am an amazing authentic loving person. If a guy shows you this side of him early on it’s a red flag and he is not worth a moment of your time or thoughts! This is a game to many men...... sorry to be so harsh to the men on here but you all very similar. I completely feel for this lovely woman. It is so hurtful. Never ever okay! Stay strong, powerful and authentic! Women hold the power!
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RHP User
5 years ago
Just take a step back and breath. Most are just trying to be kind and also give some advice based on their own not so good experiences. Give yourself some time and try not to vent when upset or angry on social media. Especially here as no edit or delete comment oprions. You can google forum threads forever.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Not much left to say here except all the response are spot on!! Don't ever measure yourself based on someone who couldn't even follow through, let alone message you to let you know. It's hard, I think most will say they've experienced it, so move onto the next guy who will pay you the respect you deserve.
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Ready2Play
5 years ago
Yes that’s a common theme. It shits me tbh
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rick81
5 years ago
Hi, Cgeck if your inbox isn't blocked
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RHP User
5 years ago
Im betting married or attached. Sexualy deprived/deviat Everybody likes to feel wanted but unfortunately you had more invested. your time is more valuable so when you arrange your next meet and you feel slightly something wrong run with it. Funny thing is tonight I got blocked and called a moron because I didn't like his kik name which referred to satin.. Glad I trusted my instincts..
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Traceybigboobs
5 years ago
The worst thing is that you truly liked them, made a mammoth effort to look your very best & then a no show. You feel deflated, even used. I went to the effort of driving half an hour to a meet once & the address was a vacant house. Some people need to have more respect for others or get off the site.
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Nevets6189
5 years ago
Well... Look out guys.... I met and vid chatted a lovely lady for about a month She lived an hour away and as we got on so great, came and spent weekend with me which was as loving and intimate as one would wish. After she went home I found out I was blocked from everything!!! Haven't been able to talk to her since and that was four months ago ! I have obviously given up trying but can never stop wondering what is wrong with people??! And yes I think women can be just as bad as men!
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RHP User
5 years ago
Oh well his loss, I and many others would jump at the chance to meet you.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Ghosting or in this case.... flaking.... can be avoided through some simple preliminary methods First and foremost.... always speak via phone before meeting. Always. That will prevent the vast majority of it The first girl i committed to turned out to be catfishing me. Oh she was real in terms of being a woman but lied to me right from the very first word that came out her mouth. Long long story but The crux of it was she was married and i expressed my concerns about seeing a married woman. So she told me her hubby had terminal cancer and couldnt get an erection from radiation treatment. We talked and clicked, spoke on the phone heaps, cammed but there were signs something was not quite right. Cutting a very long involved story short i ended up kind of reverse catfishng her with another account where her story was completely different and probably the worst part was hubby was fine. This all transpired over a 6 or 7 month period and effected me quite a lot. The depth of a lot of out chats was so intense some made me cry and it took me a long time to get my head around the fact that for her it was all a lie and no real emotion involved. She told me at the start that her hubby was alot older than her and he was her only ever partner and that he controlled every aspect of her life right down to the clothes she wore until the cancer diagnosis. She would disappear mid conversation on kik, then come back on i assume when hubby wasnt around. And with conversations i had with My fake man worked out he was still controlling her. So extrapolated that she uses men online for some sort of release and she doesn't feel empathy or wants to hurt others. I don't know but its something i wouldnt wish on to my worst enemy. Worst thing is fellas, ive come across at least two accounts here that may be her but i cant be certain. This online sex/dating gig is not as simple as you would think it would be. The only reason i can think for the ghosting is they simply aren't who they say they are but as my situations proves even camming doesnt guarantee their motives are genuine. I think my case would be rare though, god i hope so...
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usandthem69
5 years ago
I thought ghisted meant while your fucking someone and then someone swaps with you and carries on as tho its you. Then you shout them from the other room or wave at them from outside the window while there getting a good seeing too. 😜😜😜
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jim8515
5 years ago
I really don't get why people do it. Just because RHP is well RHP (and other websites/apps etc) shouldn't mean that normal courtesy and decency just goes out the window.
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SashaGG
5 years ago
It’s happened to me many a times, it does hurt, but you learn to get over it and not take it personally. I have ghosted people myself, not because of the person but just timing and life can get in the way, sometimes you would like to explain but you feel like they wouldn’t get it anyway. Don’t let it effect yourself and enjoy the journey x
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RHP User
5 years ago
I think the act of ghosting someone stems from a lack of confidence within to communicate one's intentions which probably is compounded by other limitations that also live within. If I were you I wouldn't be taking any offence at all, that's for sure. It's not your behaviour that's in question, it's someone else's. Sure there's the emotional aspect .....but just move on.
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brandy158
5 years ago
Well sorry that happend. Sadly the feeling is horrible truly is had it happen alot of times most times really. But just means they don't deserve ur time
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RHP User
5 years ago
Quoting 'Mac555' Oh my goodness thats horrible! Im so sorry you had to go through that. I dont think people realise the trauma that put someone through when they do this to you.... I've been catfished before, this is the worst. I got very intimate with this person. Lucky I did not give up intimate photos or address, Im thankful for that. Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Ghosting or in this case.... flaking.... can be avoided through some simple preliminary methods First and foremost.... always speak via phone before meeting. Always. That will prevent the vast majority of it The first girl i committed to turned out to be catfishing me. Oh she was real in terms of being a woman but lied to me right from the very first word that came out her mouth. Long long story but The crux of it was she was married and i expressed my concerns about seeing a married woman. So she told me her hubby had terminal cancer and couldnt get an erection from radiation treatment. We talked and clicked, spoke on the phone heaps, cammed but there were signs something was not quite right. Cutting a very long involved story short i ended up kind of reverse catfishng her with another account where her story was completely different and probably the worst part was hubby was fine. This all transpired over a 6 or 7 month period and effected me quite a lot. The depth of a lot of out chats was so intense some made me cry and it took me a long time to get my head around the fact that for her it was all a lie and no real emotion involved. She told me at the start that her hubby was alot older than her and he was her only ever partner and that he controlled every aspect of her life right down to the clothes she wore until the cancer diagnosis. She would disappear mid conversation on kik, then come back on i assume when hubby wasnt around. And with conversations i had with My fake man worked out he was still controlling her. So extrapolated that she uses men online for some sort of release and she doesn't feel empathy or wants to hurt others. I don't know but its something i wouldnt wish on to my worst enemy. Worst thing is fellas, ive come across at least two accounts here that may be her but i cant be certain. This online sex/dating gig is not as simple as you would think it would be. The only reason i can think for the ghosting is they simply aren't who they say they are but as my situations proves even camming doesnt guarantee their motives are genuine. I think my case would be rare though, god i hope so...
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Swissjam
5 years ago
We are sorry you had a negative experience the first time you put yourself out there. There’s really no reason for this type of behaviour but unfortunately it reflects a broader trend of a lack of courtesy to the people who we communicate with. I hope this doesn’t influence too negatively your future communication with people on here. You are obviously on RHP because you want experiences and I hope that you will have those experiences without having to deal with too many of these types of people. The show of support to your post should reassure you that there are still polite and well-meaning people on here as well. G&S
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RHP User
5 years ago
I thought I was the only person experience this shit. Our plan was for him to meet me first then my husband came home to join us. He turned up but he said he had to leave early than we originally planned. He just got cold feet soon after he left. I felt humiliated as it was my 1st time. I thought maybe something wrong with me. I'm now worried about meeting new people.
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RHP User
5 years ago
The two hookups apposed to the 30 no shows definitely made up for it. So keep trying as there is definitely amazing times to be had
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RHP User
5 years ago
Kind of like when you message people... they look at your profile... then they don’t even bother to read your message.. happens every day .. each time it happens.. you just feel a little bit worse about yourself
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RHP User
5 years ago
Ghosted ... Nuh I don’t even get a reply
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RHP User
5 years ago
Sorry to hear that...that is really shit hey. I have an idea...What about, instead of arranging to meet only 1 guy. You instead arrange to meet 10, 15 or even 20 guys at the exact same place, at the exact same time? We have 28 men in our group and if you want to you can arrange to meet all of us. We work well as a team, we enjoy sharing and i gurantee that if you meet up with us then atleast half of us will be going somewhere with you for the night and the other 14 of us will be meeting you a couple days after that ;)
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bennyDAbully
5 years ago
Babe, try not to sweat it. Obviously it’s his loss, anyone can see that. You sound incredible, do not let one epic gronk ruin what may potentially be a great service. Meaning, me, I’m excitable. Like the thought of a meet and my mind races.. as do my texts. To the point where I may freak a woman out, just from being to overzealous 🤷♂️ I can’t remember the last time I got stood up, but I can remember the last time I was catfished and that wasn’t too long ago and that happens far too often for it to be an accepted behaviour, but it happens. You’re a babe. Legit your pics are great, your bio reads well. You’re curvy, confident and comfortable within yourself. It’s lucky you’re in Perth coz I’d love to meet your sweet ass and see where that interaction May lead. There’s always one gronk, perhaps you got through the statistical stuff early, let the good times roll. I really hope you don’t feel worthless, don’t feel like that, you’re sexy as fuck. And you should know that already and not let a guy validate your sense of self or self worth. Trust me babe, when I write - you’re a sexy woman who is sort after! How could you not be??! Chin up babetown xx
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
First time meeting at your place, without hubby there? Sorry, I would not call that "ghosting". Ms Foxy
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JValenz91
5 years ago
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. It has happened to me to, as well as someone on here saying they would love to meet, going silent when I tried to organise an exactly time to meet, only to talk again only when I would attempt to sexy. Some people are on here to boost their own egos, regardless of who they hurt, or for the thrill of the chase so they can feel like they are all that just because they have tonnes of messages of people wanting to meet them for fun they never intend to give. Try not to let it get to you, those people are the ones that are going to be named and shamed eventually, and then avoided like the plague. Though I do apologise for those of my gender that behave like this to you. It's like some guys forget that just because we have a dick, doesn't mean we have to act like one
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RHP User
5 years ago
It’s unacceptable maybe they are just needing to feel worthy of someone’s affection. If that is the case then a simple apology and a reason for not turning up would at least be moderately acceptable. Always be honest up front if you just want to talk so that if you want to talk dirty tell them, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself
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emmy128
5 years ago
Girl it happens all. The. Time. The first person I decided to meet was an incredible meet after our second meet he ghosted me when I addressed the “elephant in the room” he said its best we leave it here. No reason. guess he couldn’t handle I was a female that purely wanted a fwb dynamic. I’ve found in my experience so far on this a lot of men (not all) use this as an escape from their relationship talk dirty want to fantasy and crawl back to their partners bed. As you would understand you do get a lot of messages and I try my absolute best to contact them even if I’m not interested. Keep your head up you will find him. If not private message me we will go out on the town find a gentleman caller for the night 😉 haha
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RHP User
5 years ago
It's sad but comforting knowing I'm not the only one, even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Gangbang, as enticing as your idea sounds in terms of meeting multiple men in one go, it is also foolish and incredibly dangerous. Not to mention how hard it is meeting one guy as it is.
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Bad_Habit
5 years ago
I have been on this site for about 10 years now, unfortunately ghosting seems to be more common than people who are serious about meeting up. I’ve long since given up expecting someone to show up or even arrange a meet up until I actually see them in person.
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Subaquatic69
5 years ago
Very poor form. But to be expected in this life. Can’t take it personally, just need to move on the next target asap 😉
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RHP User
5 years ago
Ahhh the ghost... I have been ghosted by a woman I had a 15 month relationship with, disagreement after catching her with someone else on a night out then rather than discuss it...... poof! Ghosting is unfortunately part of the dating game in the age of digital communication. However, I have done a fair bit of reading on the subject and most experts agree that: It says more about them than you and a lack of maturity. That continued ghosting only reinforces the behaviour and does more damage to them than you in the long run. It is cruel and psychologically damaging to the the ghostee and causes them to question their self worth especially after a committed or long term relationship. That it is a behaviour that needs to be addressed and frowned on by society. Sure there are times when ghosting is appropriate such as when you are in danger or in an abusive relationship. In general however it’s the cowards way out and funnily enough a tool in the armoury of the narcissist.
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RHP User
5 years ago
My 2 cents worth. Don’t chat and invest too much before you actually meet. If you’ve chatted for a day, arrange to meet for a coffee very soon after. Not really even for the sake of the actual meeting itself but to test the truthfulness of the person. Are they real, and are they willing to invest real time and expose themselves in real life? If they resist meeting or vague on excuses, walk away. Kik is a great tool here because live selfies proofs they are who they say. My girlfriend has also been let down heaps by girls that wastes her time with lots of chatting and even phone sex but then they never come through. So; invest very little before meeting very soon.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Yep happened a few times now. Both men and Women. If you don't want to meet please just tell me. We are all adults here. I do t get why people can't just say thanks but no thanks
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RHP User
5 years ago
What a arsehole.
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RHP User
5 years ago
We have had it a few times, him more than her/us. Most recent a month ago, got to the point of arranging a day to meet up and...gone, never to be heard from again. We have let our membership lapse now and not sure if it’s actually worth paying for 🤷♂️
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1_Naughty_Couple
5 years ago
Yup we organized the kids drove an hour and a half to the sunny coast just to hang out for an hour have a $4.50 coffee each go the toilet 😁. Feel your pain and after looking at your profile I say he's lose what a fool
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RHP User
5 years ago
Nnnahaha funny as
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RHP User
5 years ago
Thank you all for your kind comments and messages however even though this occurred to me, it by no way means I am prepared to date someone out of my age range, date someone from a different state or date a couple. I am getting a lot of messages from these people unnecessarily. As I said thank you for the nice messages but I am really prepared to wait for the right person.
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Discreetguy69
5 years ago
Happened to me plenty of times. Feels like shit when they do it. Unfortunately there are to many fake profiles on here. Also woman on here tend to go for the muscly guy with abs over normal guys and I have heard those profiles are fake. If you want good guys you have to look past the perfect bodies
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RHP User
5 years ago
He's married.
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blissfulfunx2
5 years ago
If I can add my two cents we usually find its alot of married men on these sites that want the attention and that ego boost and then can't meet. We get it alot as they act like couples
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hotsince78
5 years ago
That kind of thing happens a lot in my experience. But I have also met some really great people as well. You just have to kiss a few frogs before you find your price unfortunately!!! I think with online dating in general people have lost some of the basic manners and ettiquette - and just common decency that you might expect and they feel can get away with it.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I too am gobsmacked 😶 by a few of the responses here. Yes, as women we have a lot more choice than men. Yes, with a pussy, we usually meet everything on a mans list.... so we get a lot of interest in our profiles. It shouldn’t matter if we are sexy, attractive or ugly, These ‘fake’ profiles are master manipulators, they are intuitive and can read your deepest desires, they appeal to us because they are incredibly good at deception. If married people put as much effort into their marriage as these fake profiles do to ‘baiting’ there would be no divorce. And the worst part? I don’t want to turn into that paranoid, angry person who doesn’t trust anyone, who drives people insane with trust issues because I never know if they are genuine or not, yes there are signs, but sometimes they are very hard to spot. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to meet someone wonderful because I am scarred from previous experiences. I have a few simple questions that can indicate where they are misleading or not. If the person is genuine, they will be able to discuss local places, local events etc and watch the times they contact you. If they have set habits as to when they contact you and many more.... I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I won’t let these people make me angry, hurt me, or damage my confidence. That gives them power they don’t deserve.
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RHP User
5 years ago
That’s definitely not good. Same thing happened to me twice on here. Was speaking to a lady for two we everyday. Sending pics between us and booked a hot date and she didn’t turn up. So disappointed
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RHP User
5 years ago
That people will scope out the meeting place and if they don’t like what they see they just piss off. Totally gutless.
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Michaelrv5
5 years ago
There could be plenty of reasons for him not to show up, don’t take it heart, as a victim of many ghostings never focus on the negative, just assume they chickened out, or simply moved on. If it was something sinister well then at least you didn’t get physical with them, and add another level to the anxiety.
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scandu4fun
5 years ago
Hey thanks for starting this, it's more common than we thought and to people much better looking than us. But good on you, your needs are valid and stick to your set desires. So take what you need from some of the excellent advice like we have. At least for us we can still have a good time with each other, would suck 10x or more when you're single so we can't imagine what you're going through. Thanks again for your thread.
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Yes! I know someone who has does that. I questioned them why. Their response was to see if they match up to their profile pics etc. Yes, they have walked away when it doesnt match up. Then the person waiting then cried "poor me. I got ghosted", in the forums. Most of the time people put their best pics up and therefore can be very misleading at first meet. So in a way, why should a person waste their time continuing meeting them. There is no obligation if the other person has mislead. Gutless, No. The person who mislead is the "gutless" one, not the one who walked away. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
5 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Yes! I know someone who has does that. I questioned them why. Their response was to see if they match up to their profile pics etc. Yes, they have walked away when it doesnt match up. Then the person waiting then cried "poor me. I got ghosted", in the forums. Most of the time people put their best pics up and therefore can be very misleading at first meet. So in a way, why should a person waste their time continuing meeting them. There is no obligation if the other person has mislead. Gutless, No. The person who mislead is the "gutless" one, not the one who walked away. Ms Foxy I spend weekends alone and get bored so I try on my lingerie and upload new pics. I am always happy to send anyone I am contact with new pictures on request, my photos are altogether less than 3 weeks old, some only days old. I am here for something very unique which is why I don't find interest in many profiles, and I dont and have never lead anyone on to think otherwise. But I have absolutely no pretences on here, and I am not sure why you would say that, I would never mislead anyone to what I looked like or who I was.
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RHP User
5 years ago
That is a load of hogswallop. Just trying to see if anyone can relate. Its actually not a fun thing to have happened.
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RHP User
5 years ago
This happened to me yesterday as well. Although I didn’t make it so far as to go out to meet him. He was so keen for weeks, we finally found a day we could do, I rearranged my schedule and when I went to confirm the day of I’ve heard nothing. Think he may have blocked me. Never met him in person so wasn’t too invested, but it’s so rude and disrespectful when you rearrange everything and they don’t even have the decency to text. It’s happened so often now (not just on this site) and it drives me absolutely livid......
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danceyapantsoff
5 years ago
It's a pity this happens when most ppl are genuine I experienced this in a past swinging relationship, guys saying all the right things then disappear. I think there's too many men in raincoats wanking at the excitement of this site while their partners are unaware in the next room, then when it gets to actually meeting they run off back to their pathetic lives. Sad creatures and an unfortunate lesson but no surprises when you've been swinging for a while.
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RHP User
5 years ago
The embodiment of entitled ! Life must be perfect and laid out before me. We’ve all kissed a few frogs, a contract of sorts has been made to meet, the least you can do is front up and say no sorry not happening. I once met a woman who claimed to be late forties, as I saw her approaching it was clear she was struggling without a stick ! We had coffee a quick chat and I made my excuses. Manners are free.
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RHP User
5 years ago
@awomanwithneeds I spend weekends alone and get bored so I try on my lingerie and upload new pics. I am always happy to send anyone I am contact with new pictures on request, my photos are altogether less than 3 weeks old, some only days old. I am here for something very unique which is why I don't find interest in many profiles, and I DON’T AND HAVE NEVER LEAD ANYONE ON TO THINK OTHERWISE. But I have absolutely no pretences on here, and I am not sure why you would say that, I would never mislead anyone to what I looked like or who I was. The above in caps, I beg to differ. You shouldn’t be complaining about this happening to you when you have done like wise.
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RHP User
5 years ago
JHK 1984, someone stood you up really? Just from your pics and profile they would have to be mad to miss the opportunity.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Quoting 'Blue_Eyed_Dancer' @awomanwithneeds I spend weekends alone and get bored so I try on my lingerie and upload new pics. I am always happy to send anyone I am contact with new pictures on request, my photos are altogether less than 3 weeks old, some only days old. I am here for something very unique which is why I don't find interest in many profiles, and I DON’T AND HAVE NEVER LEAD ANYONE ON TO THINK OTHERWISE. But I have absolutely no pretences on here, and I am not sure why you would say that, I would never mislead anyone to what I looked like or who I was. The above in caps, I beg to differ. You shouldn’t be complaining about this happening to you when you have done like wise. Hello, yes I agreed to meet you, however I had my hesitations from the start because of your location, and that you did not seem to be experienced in domination which is my fetish I state on my profile. You also sent me pictures of you much later and I had to request them, not have them offered to me, and you were not my type which I am sorry is actually very hard to tell someone! And I contacted you well over a week prior to advise you of that. I said to you that I felt shit, but I didnt want to meet you, and that I had changed my mind. This is before you had to clean your home, showver, shave, build up excitement. Having had in the past men reply back with very mean messages it was my decision to close the conversation. This is not at all the same experience as me.
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RHP User
5 years ago
As I have stated previously yes I am upset about it, but no way am I putting myself on a pedestal above anyone elses experience. I am sorry Blue_eyed_dancer but I cannot force an attraction.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Man im haaaaate! Fake profiles and fake people who talk crap online. Or post pics that aren’t them etc. It boggles my noggin! Haha. As to WHY? Some people think they have the right to stuff people around and or lead them on etc etc they should be ashamed of them selves. Seriously. Oh and dont worry too much about him being the “one” or seeming like the one who you clicked with as obviously he was fake and full of crap so was probably lying to u. Dont be upset tho there are heaps of good guys out there. Unfortunately online they are hard to find and often cannot be found. As all these bullcrap people on these online dating profiles seem to be fake, or prostitutes or worse! Like creepy weirdos who get off on fooling people etc its the WORST!!! Also red hot pie i think is full of shit too u cant even message people properly without paying some $$$ which is ridiculous in this day and age. I hope u find someone u can click with ms i really do.... I wish you all the best babe. Xxx
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