RHP

RHP User

M70

How Many Messages

June 11 2019

I've seen a few posts over the years about why single ladies don't reply to messages. One of the reasons given was that they simply receive too many messages and can't reply to all of them. To satisfy my curiosity, I would like to ask single ladies, how many messages to you actually receive and how do you deal with the large volume?

Comments

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  • Supernova

    Supernova

    5 years ago

    Actually Annie, I often get replies to my well thought-out, articulate opening messages to young beautiful women, thanks ☺️ All I’m saying is that due to abundance of choice , all types of women have increased their pickiness. If it wasn’t so true you wouldn’t have been so triggered ✌️ Anyway, I’m done here, gotta see about a girl. Enjoying your angry forum life peeps xx

  • niel77

    niel77

    5 years ago

    I have few women asked me to chat on kik, are they fake profiles if anyone can tell me. Dnt see a reason why they can’t chat on RHP.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    This forum has been very eye opening. Why are we all so angry?? Men need to read profiles and women need to look beyond six packs! Simples😂

  • bonefide

    bonefide

    5 years ago

    Well said Deepestpurple

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'niel77' I have few women asked me to chat on kik, are they fake profiles if anyone can tell me. Dnt see a reason why they can’t chat on RHP. Kik is a safe messaging platform. It's easier to have a convo as it's dynamic and don't have to keep logging in to check messages. It's also easier to pick married peeps as it's a good sign that if they turn off the app when around their partner. It will show that it hasn't been delivered.So no need to think they are fake. There is no difference in that regard

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Why should I reply to every message I get if I’m not interested or they don’t match what I’ve put in my profile I have in the past replied thanks but no thanks and then they’ve tried to change my mind A reply can often give men the wrong idea I’ve had my profile clearly on pause, still get messages No one owes you a thing

  • redhotozz

    redhotozz

    5 years ago

    We get lots and lots of msgs and reply where we can

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Showing a softer lilac side and making way for the next forum villain. Good comment.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I only get 10 or more a day now. But the first few days I was averaging about 100 a day.

  • EveryNowAndThen

    EveryNowAndThen

    5 years ago

    Good question OP. Good to see the replies with the numbers, and interesting to read the related responses. Seems a great opportunity for the app developers to redesign to help each party, if talking ‘man messages woman’. Eg. Women are often saying they get too many messages, it’s overwhelming, and that the message quality and/or attraction to reply is often low. Men are often saying they feel frustration at getting few replies even if they write high quality messages, and presumably they have to send more messages than they expected, and so flooding more women with more messages. Seems a bit of a catch 22 cycle. Plenty more pain points people are expressing, it would be nice to see some smart redesign efforts to help with things causing ‘both sides’ dissatisfaction. I do realise that it’s the psychology of the persons involved, but given the widespread nature, and the repetition of interest in this issue (several other forum posts express the same concerns) a few software modifications might help. Any ideas? Especially the women flooded with messages, to keep this on track of OP, have you ever wished for some aspect of the app to assist in reducing the issues?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Filtering out messages with less than 5 words.......Id probably get one message a month.

  • BJ_1991

    BJ_1991

    5 years ago

    Hello I use face pictures, always write out a message much longer than 2 words, and still no luck. Doesn't help.

  • non_such

    non_such

    5 years ago

    https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/7xgaje/men-who-send-unsolicited-dick-pics-are-bigger-narcissists-study-finds

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I think its absurd that men expect responses to message, we have to accept that there are 10-20 times more men and women are in the driving seat. We have to be members but it hardly expensive so not worth worrying about. It is frustrating not receiving a response if I would genuinely like to meet that person. My challenge with RHP is that there are very few that I really want to meet and am often disappointed that fun messages turns to disappointment on meeting. The last person I met was 10 years older and 30kg heavier than the photos. I must admit that I am guilty of sending messages to women that I wouldn't look twice at in the street just to see if I can get a response.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    That really irks me, dishonesty. Whether its marital status, smoking or old photos...even worse, photos of someone else. What is the point? I am out of the age range for many guys on here now since I turned 56, was thinking of remaining 55 for a bit longer but why? Im 56. Small, average build, bottle blonde and a bit cranky sometimes but otherwise this is me

  • freefourall

    freefourall

    5 years ago

    On the other side of the ledger, I was lucky enough to get a reply from a lady here. We exchanged messages over a 5 week period and discussed about meeting up when out of the blue she sends me an automated reply that I’m not what she is looking for! Surely it didn’t take 5 weeks to arrive at that decision??????

  • freefourall

    freefourall

    5 years ago

    When my current paid membership runs out I won’t be renewing it. Can’t justify the cost. Better off using it to go to a swingers club where at least there are already people there looking fir the same thing!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Simply supply demand ratio I guess.

  • trypilot

    trypilot

    5 years ago

    I would suggest that the expectations of western women is far too great for western men, hence the increasing number of western men seeking success in Asia, and finding that success, for want of a better word, I would think that also equates to the growing number of older Australian woman finding it more difficult, argue my point if you please, but stats prove otherwise......I certainly have no more interest western women, been there, tried that without success....and now I'm waiting for the hating western women's response without care as I have found happiness and success in Asia, much to the disgust of the rest of my family

  • freefourall

    freefourall

    5 years ago

    And for the record, it’s no better for us bi guys when dealing with/seeking other guys. Still get the same pretenders and people living in though bubbles!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    You are not the only guy who has said he found it easier to find an Asian woman. Women in general DO have high expectations on these sites as most of us dont want to be one off hook ups which, lets face it, a lot of the guys are looking for here. They say in their profiles they are happy to be fwb but most of the time they are just saying what they think the women want to hear. If you are happy now, great!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'Hellsbella' I received 314 in my first day averaging about 30-40 per day now..... This describes RHP perfectly, your male equivalent would get zero.....half your luck

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I would actually prefer not to receive a message saying no thanks. We get so few messages, there is nothing worse than getting excited seeing a message only to see it is a no thanks, even worse is an invite to a party

  • countrytouch82

    countrytouch82

    5 years ago

    Yes, most messages recieved now are invites to parties, of which most parties one is unable to attend anyway. They are all in the events section for all to see, having copies sent to you via direct message appears like an invite, when it is not. Agree with Harry sentiment, the getting excited over the notifications icon saying there is something there, even more so if it's from one of the profiles you have messaged that you would really love to hear something from, and it's a thanks but no thanks. The positive is of course you know it's confirmed they have read and/or viewed your profile and said no, than wondering if it's one of the 10s or hundreds that have simply been missed.

  • freefourall

    freefourall

    5 years ago

    The only good thing about paying for a membership is being able to look at the profile pictures....those profiles that have more than one that is, which isn’t many!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Your criteria is someone to pay you for sex...sugar dates...lol....so you get irritated by people looking to get it for free?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Your criteria is someone to pay you for sex...sugar dates...lol....so you get irritated by people looking to get it for free?

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'trypilot' I would suggest that the expectations of western women is far too great for western men, hence the increasing number of western men seeking success in Asia, and finding that success, for want of a better word, I would think that also equates to the growing number of older Australian woman finding it more difficult, argue my point if you please, but stats prove otherwise......I certainly have no more interest western women, been there, tried that without success....and now I'm waiting for the hating western women's response without care as I have found happiness and success in Asia, much to the disgust of the rest of my familyOlder unhating Western woman not having a statistical pity party. Your profile on the other hand.....

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    As has been debated in other OPs, the tact you have taken here is quite interesting.Hats of to your family, they would know you best but the forum readers here have worked you out in a single post.Don't put western women down simply because you are unable to attract one. Happy for you to find happiness but that makes no reason to become a bitter old man dissing others. The fact that you have found so much happiness in Asia makes one wonder why you are still here?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I can only imagine what single ladies inboxes look like 😬🤦‍♀️. It sucks, we get enough messages as s couple from people who are so far out of our criteria it's insane! The thing that bugs me the most about so many names of these messages is that I think s lot of people think that just because we're on the same app means it's a free for all. Uh no, people are allowed to have preferences and say no, that's how consent works. On another app where each member of the couple has a separate page I have very clearly stated do not contact me if you are x, y,z, yet those are the people that just straight in with 'Hi, I saw you on (app name)' then they just start sending pictures. Like, woah dude, I didn't ask to see you, if you're single and straight you are wasting your time. I think a lot of guys don't realise that we get inundated with messages from people who don't fit the criteria, what the hell is a couple in their 30s going to do with a straight single guy in his 50s? How are we supposed to respond to people who clearly don't read profiles unless they're scoping out contact info and that's all they read 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Sorry, long rant, it's just so frustrating, it takes up so much time and it then puts me in a mood where I don't want to talk to anyone. Just read profiles and be honest with yourself.

  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    5 years ago

    Trypilot.... I’m not going to argue with you, but I’m interested in the stats that prove your claim... Care to post them and their source ??

  • NewDuoMFM

    NewDuoMFM

    5 years ago

    So why is megz54 even on here? What do mean messages you don’t ask for .... that’s the point of a dating app, it’s literallly there business model...😳 .... so if your not playing and not answering messages, what’s the point ????

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    In my precious account, i received more than 200 to 500 daily... if friday or saturday, sometimes it reached 1000 or more... i cannot read or reply all... Maybe that was the reason why someone reported me and removed my account...

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    5 years ago

    Because, gentlemen, therein is the answer that you seek. I challenge ANYONE to try to read let alone meaningfully answer 200+ messages a day (even given a week to do that would not suffice). Imagine having a drink in a bar with 199 other guys all vying for the attention of just one solitary woman. What would be the best thing to in that situation. Buy the f**king bar of course! (Or perhaps go drink somewhere else, as simply complaining about it will change nothing). It took Cap’n No Beard near 7 years on here before he got his one and only message! And yes, admittedly, it WAS from a bloke, but that didn’t matter! The Cap’n was bloody well chuffed anyway! Obi1

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Im calling bullshit on that. Even 200 is yanking the chain. Maybe viewing stats might be heading in the up direction. Profile pulled? I believe that for reasons not disclosed

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Obi was sucked in. Poor thing. Very excitable lad

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    5 years ago

    Yes, I must admit I often get sucked in by things 💋. (including impromptu concerts, tractor-beams and such), but the essence remains that even if a woman even just received 5 messages a day that’s still a shit load by weeks end to read, process and reply to in any meaningful way (should that be her want). Throw in work, health, family (if applicable) and “just not feeling it at the moment” scenarios, then hey presto... I did know a lady who simply by changing her profile pic on a Thursday night, had 60 odd messages in her inbox by Sunday. I should know, because I took the photo of her that she used. 😉. (She subsequently took it down soon after due to the angst she received from guys who were frustrated by either her reply’s or lack thereof). And on that particular point, the negative effects on the emotional health of both men AND women on here can indeed be significant (should they let such things get to them), so I wouldn’t blame either sex for leaving RHP as a result. Unrealistic expectations on both sides may indeed play a major part in this disenchantment, and not everyone has thick skins, but there is always the option to exit quietly, because things are unlikely to ever change in respect to ratios and statistics on here. Obi1

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    5 years ago

    That would have to be the most serious post I have ever made! 🤔 Obi1

  • Tara72

    Tara72

    5 years ago

    being older, attached, AND not even looking for men, elyza's experience is easily believable

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    5 years ago

    But you can always Turn off messages. It’s just a press of a button. If you need a break just push it . You don’t have to get psychologically damaged by being on here. If you are on here you shouldn’t be surprised at getting a few douchey messages. But you don’t have to let them get to you. RHP is just a microcosm of general society. Statistically (there’s that word again) there’s going to be a decent amount of people who you will consider douchebags, don’t read profiles, send sleazy messages or whatever . When sex is involved it gets turned up to 11. Just press the button and it can all be over.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Hello every body we are dealing a digital world, not a real world. If you whant real person go a fiscal world . Ex. I cam here for sex only

  • IWANTYOU42

    IWANTYOU42

    5 years ago

    Someone tell this guy 90% of women's profiles on here are either fake or admins lol. That's why they say they got no time because they are working the crowd lol

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'noahking' Hello every body we are dealing a digital world, not a real world. If you whant real person go a fiscal world . Ex. I cam here for sex only That's strange, the people I've met on here looked like the real thing. Must have been smoking too much weed. Best hop in your ark.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Sorry I can't reply with quote right now for some reason, but regarding profiles being fake, there are a lot of people like myself (at this point in time) who don't know what they want so profiles can be generic and may not reply. I fall into that category right now. I jumped back on to reconnect with a few people. I've done the rounds so to speak and until I know what I want moving forward, I'll remain generic which is my choice. If people choose to think I'm fake, well so be it. To answer the op's question, it's not so much the number of messages I'm getting but what the messages contain that confuses me. "I've read your profile" "I loved your profile". Correct me if I'm wrong but there's nothing in my profile lol It appears I'm female and might be breathing 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    In the real world when a celebrity gets a lot of fanmail I think it has long been accepted that someone other than the celeb does the replying and perhaps the choicest mail is personally responded to. But this is not a fan-celeb situation. There is a paradox here in that to give myself the best chance I respond with more than a sentence, trying to relate to the profile, which takes thought, patience and some creativity. On the other hand RHP gives me no idea if my target is a responder, has been active recently etc. I would like accounts to be rated like ebay. So that, sure if you are being bombarded you arent likely to respond and myself and other prospects would hold off. But if there is a metric where your account is makimg no attempt to get through your backlog then there is a stat for that. Then there would be some kind of balance. Maybe the rating would clear over time, but the object of desire can elect to do nothing, bad rating, trash their inbox, but suitors can see that they are being overloaded; respond to a given percentage within a period of time to stay at a high rating etc. As a prospect then I don't get frustrated or start wondering about the fake accounts, email and picture trolls, bot developers and windows shoppers. Ps: yes I have read most of the foregoing comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Firstly, that account name, they allowed that? He has issues but it's not the responsibility of the female population to serve men, by way of expectation

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    There is no one answer to this question. Yes I agree, the main one is too many messages in their inbox. But just like us guys, they may not be interested, they may be arrogant, they may not be on the platform right now, and when they get back on your message has moved down the bottom. Women are not like kangaroos and willing to jump anything in their way.! I myself do not pay for a subscription, on here or other platforms, I receive messages from all kinds of people. Although not as many as ladies, I’m able to reply.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    It can indeed be frustrating, I think the guys do need to put more effort in to profiles and add pictures. A considerate nice introduction message better than a naughty one ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    A art, maybe a hit or miss theory ? Then again reading this i‘ve found a Kaleidoscope of different views. Find the views from many people interesting reading. Thats how forums should be, without the personnel attacks.

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