F51
How do I tell him I'm kinky as fuck?
January 28 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
hi, I think the easiest way is to watch some porn together and pick something that you want to do or discuss. then as you are into it ask him what his thoughts are on it and go from there.... cheers jacktar15
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RHP User
11 years ago
Veeeeeeerrryyyy Sloooooooooowwwwllyyyyyyyy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What a quandary we have here.... I had a girl who I THOUGHT was straight and vanilla..I asked a LOT of questions.. she answered, and I got to thinking she would be ideal to CONFESS to.. Which I did.. She freaked out and at every chance threw it back into my face..OF course.. she had OTHER issues.. as I slowly worked out... and we went out own ways..However.. I do have a long term Friend who, together, we enjoy each other.. and we just grew to learning each of us was BENT... went witih the flow :) SP... I Don't know HOW you go about it.. I just would start asking about fantasies... but, THAT is a cliched discussion.. and in itself can lead to ALL SORTS of outcomes.. It is hard to NOT tell.. or IF they ask.. not divulge, when somewhere down the line they FIND OUT..I personally am all for the truth, and see where the shit falls :)BUT.. you MIGHT scare him off.... One of my Gorgeous ex's Showed me her ways... For one of my birthdays, she brought one of her MARRIED girlfriends over... It was great.. but, begged the question.... "Her Hubby... Did he know??"Gorgeous Ex said "Yeah... they do it all the time..""OK Girl.. we need to TALK about all this....."What came out of thatm talk I LOVED... and I lent them said Gorgeous ex for an evening or two also .. AND more :) I am looking forward to some of the ladies answering this :) Good Luck SP :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
C'mon... you can do better then that....Get EXPLICIT.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm dreading the day this will happen to me, so will follow this with interest.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Think of the Titanic. .if you don't rush , you can hit an ice berg and you wont sink .. Steady as she goes Captain !
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MissSarahCurious
11 years ago
I had this conversation with a fuck buddy a little while ago and asked his advice. He said keep the details a bit fuzzy, say you had a period of experimentation after your divorce and leave it at that. He also said anything that comes up later and you're already in a relationship is forgivable. He's as terminally single as I am though so take this advice with a grain of salt. xx Sarah
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Missb4u
11 years ago
honesty, straight up. It all comes under the getting to know you section doesn't it. likes, dislikes, opinions. Start as you mean to go along is my moto.I for one don't want to end up in another relationship of any sort that is sexually unsatisfying. He may just need someone to teach and lead him. Good luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Having recently come out of a marriage and having seen a couple of guys since, I couldn't imagine being in a sexually unsatisfying relationship now - I went from seeing Mr Nice Guy, Oh so vanilla to joining RHP and getting up to all sorts including a d/s relationship. Mr Nice Guy is still buzzing around and I love having him as a friend but if I told him even a fraction of what I get up to he would literally have a heart attack! Maybe better as a friend if he's not that adventurous! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Originalbadboy
11 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' honesty, straight up. It all comes under the getting to know you section doesn't it. likes, dislikes, opinions. Start as you mean to go along is my moto.I for one don't want to end up in another relationship of any sort that is sexually unsatisfying. He may just need someone to teach and lead him. Good luck. Go balls out, let him know. If they are interested in you they will want to understand you and your interests. If they run let them go, they are not interested in you enough and not worth your time and tears. Basically do you want to settle for less then your desires? Your not the person you were yesterday and tomorrow you won't be the person you are now, same goes for them. He has changed due to your interactions, for better or worse he has changed as have you. To quote Tony Robbins, "If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten." So be completely open. Tell him your deepest desires, your darkest wants, your most outrageous fantasies. Also ask him for his with all things being equal, if you want to take it a little easier make it a game with prizes for each answer. "whats your most carnal desire for a 30 sec nipple nibble..." What would you do to me in a spa while in a secluded chalet in Sweden... for that answer you get to kiss honey dust of my breast..." Remember "the heart is a muscle, and what do muscles do when when they get torn? They grow back, stronger." - unknown Obbi "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure."- Bill Cosby
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RHP User
11 years ago
like.. "Blow his mind" eh? THEN.. once he is is shock.. you can sort of "Brainwash" into YOUR way of thinking?? SOMETIMES.. in my evil dark twisted self... I dream of that.. bit late for me.. but.. I often wonder .. "what if....??"
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Missb4u
11 years ago
Ok maybe not spring them all on him at once. Start small and see how he goes. You never know they could all be his secret fantasies that he has been to scared to pursue because he was told over and over again how fucked up he was for wanting to try things in the past. :) I wish brainwashing worked though would be soooo much easier ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
I would be thinking along the lines to at least hint to some of it with your positive energy to the kinks, one it is better to begin something to the nature of the relationship you seek with the guy, to have an open book. Read him some little bed time stories or something, because if you are amongst a bunch of friends, some of this stuff could come into conversation, the last thing you need is for your guy to feel obligated to frown at these ideas, thinking of well intentions, to you being offended if he were to agree to any of it. If he is the vanilla gentleman you believe him to be, then you could bet your bottom dollar, out of principal alone, fending off to the kinks would be his manner, even if he entertained the Idea, without being in the know to your interests for it. That would leave you in an awkward spot, and his pride would be having a difficult time. Embarrassing perhaps to further dampen things. You need to be able to back each other up, with anything in a meaningful relationship, so best become friends sooner the better, he would need to feel that friend in you when you speak to it, otherwise I imagine he would feel threatened, vulnerable to visions the lifestyle larger than life, him small. Walk into a room full of people and left standing alone at the door you in the company of the room sort of feeling. You need to make him your no1 kink first, then you both can interpret new ideas as best friends who care to each others character and better emotions. Just my thoughts, and to how I would feel in his place perhaps, if that is how you see anything to it. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Hawt1
11 years ago
I used to be that vanilla guy... step by step I followed a path, sometimes with a little help from some new found friends. I think you could drop him in the deep end and see where it lays, or (preferably) gradually introduce/corrupt him to the scene.. only you can judge what his reaction might be.I know for a fact me 15 years ago would of run screaming at the thought of things I have done since.I agree with much of what madotara69, Missb72 have said.However you may find he will have boundaries he will just never cross no matter how much you coax.. MMF/FFM for example might just be too confronting for a lot of guys even girls.Me myself, I usually have a talk at the start of anything.. find what the other likes, what I like and I am brutally honest... sometimes to my detriment, but often it works out ok. This way at least he has a choice and your not wasting your time. You could try start the conversation like this: "I was a monogamous and frustrated married woman for years of my life. I've been mostly single for the last three. In these three years, I've experimented, adventured, frolicked and cavorted to my hardened heart's content. I want to tell you that I'm kinky as fuck and discuss polyamory, bisexuality, swinging, group sex, bdsm with a nice guy I want to keep in my life? " Sounded kinda perfect to me... but I might be biased lolGOOD LUCK! I tell him I'm kinky as fuck I tell him I'm kinky as fuck
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Hawt1
11 years ago
Messed up the cut and paste.. sorry
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RHP User
11 years ago
You can only hide it for so long. Get into watching some porn together perhaps. Discuss it while doing so. He ought to pick up what gets you going by your responses..If he's more interested in "Who showed you that?" and intimidated by it, you have a problem. Well, he may have a problem?.In the end he has to be Man enough to handle the Woman you are...erotically.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You have no option but to tell him straight out. I agree with Mado. People should not enter into relationships that start with communication problems for it will be an ongoing problem and will only result in frustration. If you can not be totally your self, without inhibitions, and feel that you must conform to expectations, or hide desires you are going to end up frustrated and unhappy. Being true to your self sometimes requires the strength to rationalize emotions, you are responsible for your long term happiness and though he may tug at your heart strings, will it be the same in five years when familiarity has dulled the shine of love. Each day you don't tell him will make it harder to tell him, eventually impossible. Tell him now, don't delay or risk unhappiness again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi there , I apologise to everyone for my bad English to start with !:) I just want to tell u simpleplesures that I think u should just be honest with him as anyway if u meet him from rhp , he probably have already read what u have post on here ! But also I would like to ask u if u have consider as option they he mayme will not like that experience ( 3some or any others ) and that if he ask u to have that experience with u there is probably a reason . Don't forget that find casual sex now days is not hard at all so he could have ask for that to someone else . Also I would like to remember to everyone that what doesn't kill a relationship it will just make it stronger and in my opinion if after have a 3some one of should realise that have just 1 partner is not enough I would prefer to find that ASAP !! Rather than later on . As u 2 r just friend for now why don't just enjoy every single moment of this relation between the 2 of u ? Why always push and look in to what is going to be the future if we all know that the future is nothing that we can control or plan ? Thanks for the opportunity to espress my opinion and sorry again for my English I u all understand what I'm trying to say !
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RHP User
11 years ago
The question you have to remember is; do you want to only have vanilla again.... Because in the end it doesn't matter how close you get with your new found joy, you will become restless and maybe even resentful....... If/when you do disclose it, maybe as suggested before me, go slow...... Maybe when you have your talk you suggest introducing him to a club, where he is always the main focus of your attention (apparently guys like that sort of thing, ego I think it's called). This way he can see that you are all for him, make him feel like he is the special person.......... I know in the beginning this was an issue for hubby and myself and as such after our first visit to a club, had a big D&M and laid ground rules...... One of those was no kissing, that was specially for him....... Good luck and Enjoy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Veeeeeeerrryyyy Sloooooooooowwwwllyyyyyyyy. Boiling a frog
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RHP User
11 years ago
as I was messaging a 'Mr Niceguy' from a vanilla site. Yeah yeah, I know wtf am I doing right? I thought I'd give it a go, it's pretty lonely out here in the sticks. He's just so fucking NICE I don't know how to handle it. I've been so corrupted here that I don't know how to communicate with straight people any more! I do think that corrupting a Mr Niceguy sounds like a lot of fun though, but best keep Bruno in his box for a while ...
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Put on a show.... don't blast him all at once with your dirty lil secrets.... ease him into it... let him catch his breathe... and train him up over a period of time. You may find he takes to it like a duck to water... a soft cuddly fluffy lil duck with your finger in his quack. Sorry that I can see your quack joke brings me to tears every time. So cute! HUgsGazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps go out have a few to many drinks and whisper into his ear if he likes the idea of another women joining him.....That will get the conversation started....worked for us xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just show up with a red ball gag and a nice whip?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The longer you wait the worse it will be if he's not interested, feelings get in the way of logic and suddenly he's agreeing to things he's not really into because he doesn't want to lose your relationship, or worse still, you feel the need to sideline your kinks for fear of losing him. I think most people are a lot more experimental than they give themselves credit for. From my own experience, I was about 70% vanilla, and all it took was the right person to completely change that by discussing things and gradually starting to do things that had formerly been outside my comfort zone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Look at it differently He is your Blank Canvas now get your paint wow out
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RHP User
11 years ago
I had a girlfriend, who was deep into bdsm. She wanted to be owned. So she leaves her vanilla hubby and hooks up with her Master. They have a short term of who's your daddy and put my nipple clamps on but ended up back into a vanilla relationship as it suited them both. They could just not sustain that heightened sexual life, mixed in with kids, work, family , health etc. For my part, I cannot be monogamous. I was when I was married, and I had a very unsatisfactory sex life, mainly because I did not communicate my needs, and there was no chemistry. I did not fully understand how the chemistry part is so important in your sexual life. I am back with my x husband, and this time I told him that I cannot go back to what we had before, so we have a happy compromise. You need to tell this guy, right up front. You can still love a person to bits and not have the sexual compatibility, but if you get it right the first time, you do not end up in a relationship with a person that you cannot be sexually honest with. Like a wise woman on here said, if the sex is bad its 90 precent of your relationship and if its good its ten. RHP is full of people that are not getting what they need in their relationship, that is why they are on RHP to get the sex they crave and need. Yet they still love their partners. its just a pity their partners are not as understanding and generous as my lovely husband. This time round I was brave enough to be honest with him, but more important, true to myself. good luck
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
When I first met Mr Taby_Daring, (even though he had many years experience under his belt) he had never tried any of the things I am into like Swinging & some aspects of BDSM. For the first 8 months of our relationship we were strictly monogamous fuck buddies and me being me didn't hold anything back. I told him straight from the start all the things I was into and liked as I have never been one to be shy about my sex life or what turns me on. I have always held the opinion that if a man could not accept me or my quirks, even my sexual ones then there was no point in being with them in the first place. I proceeded to educate Mr about my sexual likes and we had great fun exploring these and I even taught him a new thing or two. After 8 months together and a thorough sexual education for Mr we attended our first swinging event at the club on the Gold Coast. It was massive eye opening night for us both and it was also the night we both professed our love for each other and we have been together as a couple ever since. Mr was only holding out on me for so long because he feared I would be controlling and jealous like his previous ex girlfriends so one of the best ways to put him at ease was to take him to a swingers club lol My advice is the be upfront and just tell this guy that your a kinky girl and you like to live a little wild. If he doesn't accept all the different parts of you there is always going to be a part of you that is not happy and it could cause problems further down the road. Most men will love any women that is kinky. If he doesn't then its time for you to sit down and seriously consider if you want to have him around and sacrifice your kinky side or send him on his way and keep your kinky side. Taby xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm following with upmost interest here :) I feel it would be so hard for a lady to speak out loud of her desires yet a male can do so with some ease? I live by the simple rule of honesty first :)) but I'd say in your case a go slow approach may be best as the roles are some what reversed :) Test the waters in bed with hey Hun have you ever fuked a lady in the arse or try licking his as u perform oral on him and test the waters that way??
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' as I was messaging a 'Mr Niceguy' from a vanilla site. Yeah yeah, I know wtf am I doing right? I thought I'd give it a go, it's pretty lonely out here in the sticks. He's just so fucking NICE I don't know how to handle it. I've been so corrupted here that I don't know how to communicate with straight people any more! I do think that corrupting a Mr Niceguy sounds like a lot of fun though, but best keep Bruno in his box for a while ... You never know he could be just as naughty as you, but you could both be too scared to tell the other and you could miss out on something awesome. You only live once ;)Taby xx
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Quoting 'Warning69' I'm following with upmost interest here :) I feel it would be so hard for a lady to speak out loud of her desires yet a male can do so with some ease? I live by the simple rule of honesty first :)) but I'd say in your case a go slow approach may be best as the roles are some what reversed :) Test the waters in bed with hey Hun have you ever fuked a lady in the arse or try licking his as u perform oral on him and test the waters that way?? No such problem here! I voice my preferences loud and clear for everyone to hear! To me its not a male/female thing, it depends more on if you don't give a fuck what other people think of your sex life Taby xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
He might surprise you with his answer :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
First question I'd ask myself is do I like him a lot and want to keep him in my life because OR in spite of his vanilla essence ? What is driving the attraction if you're seemingly so far apart on this important issue ? We humans have a tendency to misdiagnose the cause of our emotional reactions. Tricky situation with the potential for lots of hurt ... best of luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Agree with Mea and the 'very slowly', but as everyone has said you need to be honest with yourself first. If he doesn't seem like one that will bend in the wind you'll never be happy with him in the long run, but ease him in gently, discuss, communicate, talk, chat, rehash with pure honesty. You'd be surprised how easy it is to corrupt guys and get them to try new things with a wiggle of your tail. Crappy analogy so I apologise in advance, but perhaps start with vanilla, sloooowly adding caramel, then chocolate, then hundreds & thousands before you stick in the Flake. I have an awesome FWB at the moment and we are nothing but brutally honest with each other, we are always checking on each others feelings and don't agree on everything or have completely matched kinks, but trying to understand where we do meet has become even more fun. He doesn't like some of mine, but geez, he's taught me some new ones he has and . Definitely mind your pace, but always be true to you x If he's worth it, and if he's into you as much, you'd be surprised at what can happen. AND JACK - WTF re the frog boiling??????
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's so so true but some of as we got older have learnt to I guess treed water more slowly :)) still I liked the way you put it... Fuk it I'll say u have a body of a goddess can I use it ;),,
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would wait a year to see how things went a long. Nothing these days lasts long. So don't push him away because of sex. Companionship is under-rated to start with. Then after you have established that you can both communicate well and have no boundaries with conversation topics you can start by watching the porn and call it research. Honey I noticed this thing they are doing today when I stumbled across this site. What do you think about it? Also try making out lets have some naughty fun and a laugh and go look at an adult shop and see what they got in there. Keep the conversation light and fun but throw in probing questions on the spot while your both laughing. Subtle and sneaky. Try fun games at night with sexual favour notes in a jar and play cards or pool and the winner gets to take a note out of the jar. Always discuss things openly like it's not taboo, dirty or something you hide but more out of curiousity. Talk like it's something you study and want to improve on...everything in life is a lesson. Read erotic novels...tell him the stories. Leave them lying around, watch if he picks one up. Just introduce things slowly in the 2nd year.
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Quoting 'Warning69' That's so so true but some of as we got older have learnt to I guess treed water more slowly :)) still I liked the way you put it... Fuk it I'll say u have a body of a goddess can I use it ;),, Lol, I'll take that as a compliment and say thanks and leave it at that :) Taby xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks posters, I just read all your posts and feel encouraged and inspired. I love this message: You need to make him your no1 kink first. I guess this is the part I have been missing as I have been commitment phobic for so long. Veeeery slooowly, with honesty and respect. Thanks again, fellow deviants. You're awesome:) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Rare bird... Wait a year, then watch porn together? Are you serious? I think waiting a year is totally unfair to both people. Seriously... Some people's kinks would forever change how someone views someone else. Besides who can hide their real personality that long??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Paintme, as you and I have discussed before, some of the things you have got up too and the kinks you are interested in is so out of some people's comforts zones it's not funny. And yes talking straight up about it scares lots of people. I think getting to know someone a little before slowly bringing a few things up at a time. Ease him into it. Hehe.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Just ask him how he likes his restraints, velcro or leather? And blindfolded or not 😋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just fk his brains out and see what happens. ? He might surprise you ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hahaha yes very slowly
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RHP User
11 years ago
ply him with alcohol, tie him up and tell him that he needs to step up or risk losing you, if you tell him that you will allow him certain fantasies like FFM he will comply dont worry.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And excellent contributions. Well done, everyone! ×
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RHP User
11 years ago
*giggles* We'll see ... I might start THAT conversation tonight *heads to the fridge for a glass of vino*. Simplepleasures, I'll let you know how it goes. What's the worst that can happen right?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Rare bird... Wait a year, then watch porn together? Are you serious? I think waiting a year is totally unfair to both people. Seriously... Some people's kinks would forever change how someone views someone else. Besides who can hide their real personality that long?? This is why I asked how new the relationship has been? D'oh Going on the disposable type of relationships from online dating these days that I have had...some last 3 weeks, some last 6 weeks some last 3 months....why go through all that opening up only for it to end!!! Wasted effort. oh by the way thanks for the acknowledgement to one of my posts....hahahaha
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rare_Bird' This is why I asked how new the relationship has been? D'oh Going on the disposable type of relationships from online dating these days that I have had...some last 3 weeks, some last 6 weeks some last 3 months....why go through all that opening up only for it to end!!! Wasted effort. Still, a year? I doubt I could wait a month.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Never a wasted effort. If a guy is not into the same things I am, I need to know sooner rather than later.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lmao .. I agree .. ! :D :D
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RHP User
11 years ago
encounter...The woman I was in a relationship with, grabbed me when I came in from work late one evening..and said..."Hunnie.. go shower..and get to bed.. I am ready for this ANAL you have been hinting about.."I thought.. "You Beauty mate" So.. 20 mins later.. I have showered... waiting in bed with a HUGE hard-on .. excited as all get up.... and waiting for her to finish in the Bathroom... She comes in...SPORTING A 10 INCH STRAP-ON!!!!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Take him to a surprise swingers party. He might freak out first but will like what he see lol.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... who have said that you're better off being straight up and finding out if he can handle it than ending up in sexually unsatisfying relationship, that doesn't necessarily mean there isn't the other option Corrupt that son of a gun! In my experience people quite often have no idea what they're going to like until someone does it to them, this goes in particular for sexual stuff as your mindset can totally change when you're super horny. If you ask me, and you don't mind being a bit underhanded - not to mention devious - then you should plan an evening and tell him you've got some special treats in store for him... I reckon most people will be willing to dish out whatever is done to them so that's a good place to start, get a few drinks into him on the night and tell him you want to tie him up, if he doesn't allow you to do that much then you're probably dealing with a lost cause as I've NEVER come across anyone who hasn't at least been up for a bit of light bondage. Then once he's tied up add a blind fold to the mix and go about your teasing and keep bringing him to the brink... And then back again without going over the edge. A few times of this and he'll be going crazy with pent up sexual tension. That's when you start adding in the extra kinky stuff you were worried that he might object to. Just a little dash of it, then go back to doing the more conventional stuff, back and forth between the two, testing the water of how he likes the kinky stuff. If he reacts positively then give him more and more of that and less of the conventional stuff. Eventually you want him to orgasm whilst enjoying some kinky stuff at the same time and then BINGO, BANGO, he's just been initiated with a bit of positive association to the world of kinky high-jinks! Once someone has had a damn good orgasm assisted by a bit of kink then they're going to be much more open to having a bit more. More to the point, he'll feel more comfortable talking about it afterwards, as will you since if he objects - which he won't - you can say, "well, sonny Jim, I didn't hear you complaining!" He'll likely want to know what else you're into and, even more fun, he'll probably very much want to blindfold and tie you up next time so he can experiment. This approach has worked with me at least a dozen times. It hasn't always been necessary as probably half that number of times it's turned out that the woman I was dealing with was secretly just as kinky as me (if not more so) but just as many were previously very vanilla girls who just needed to be shown that t'aint nuthin' wrong with a bit of kink Good luck, I sincerely hope you turn that vanilla boy into a spicy hot toy. 'mouse.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ahahaha for real .. lol ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just spat my coffee on dacougarbitch bitches cat! You funny fucker And did it hurt much?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rare_Bird' This is why I asked how new the relationship has been? D'oh Going on the disposable type of relationships from online dating these days that I have had...some last 3 weeks, some last 6 weeks some last 3 months....why go through all that opening up only for it to end!!! Wasted effort. But that is the whole reason why we are here.... to find like minded people. I don't see it as opening up at all. To me it's just normal conversation! What is so hard about that? Honey, I like to fuck boys bums, I love watching men fuck each other, I prefer group sex, I like to tie you up occasionally and spank your butt. And if you don't want to root my butt I am very sorry to say, that is a deal breaker. See.... simples!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just tell him as it is. He will find out because you won't stop your horny travels. So let him know. Maybe you can convert him. When someone says vanilla it sounds like something bad. But you only know what you know. So how would you go about if he says. -I love fucking women in the ass. Give him some time. He might be naughtier than you think. xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Be honest straight up some blokes you might scare away but if there anything like me he will love it . And if its not ment to be its not ment to be. There is no use being with someone if they dont want the same as you. If it falls through hit me up. Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
And when I say boys....... I mean men's bums that is.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
The voice of difference speaks again...lol Softly softly?! What the fuck?! You're talking about kink.... not telling him he's adopted. Because where do you allow HIM... to draw YOUR line?!!! Miss Simplepleasures.... my short-answer view is..... ......If he cant handle being told.... he shouldnt have the right or opportunity to handle you. Full stop. DG
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leeandjo
11 years ago
Better to be up front and honest right from the start. My now husband was from the first day we met about his sexual likes and past. Talked about it but never pressured me at all and after 5 years together decided to try out his previous lifestyle for myself....and I liked it!! Have since gotten married and I am having a great time 4 years later.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Because DG some men need a little convincing. So you need allow them some time to get comfortable with one idea before presenting a new one. Capisce?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Or do you handle women like a bull in a china shop? No finesse?
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RHP User
11 years ago
What I mean is that it's not a bad thing to be mindful of people's sensibilities. Bisexuality, BDSM, polyamory, group sex, swinging, etc can be quite confronting topics for some people. Particularly when you are discussing it as a person who indulges in these things. Also if you tell a man too early he will put you in the wild girl category... Good to fuck but maybe not so good to know, perhaps. Certainly not someone to take home to mother.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... Hi momma... This is meeka and her friend strappy... Oops, you better pick up your mixing spoon... Ohh momma... Yeah like that ...momma...mmmm... 😈😈😈😈 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
The meek shall NOT inherit the earth. Neither will the Greek lol DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
@MeekaMy god if I meet someone that is incapable of the simple task of social normality it ends before it starts. My serious girlfriends have all been kinky, bisexual, polyamorous, sexual deviants yet safe to present to my family. We do not get to pick who we fall in love with, it sucks that we don't, and yes sometimes they are not the type you would expect. But are we not mature enough to know when to say no and when to hang on. It is a mistake to let love take hold when you know its not practical or good for you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That what you call your trouser snake, DG? . And HP, you did NOT just tell us you have those thoughts about your mother.
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gazpacho
11 years ago
What has being Greek got to do with anything? Fark man! Gazp.
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RHP User
11 years ago
They were about yours 😛😛😛😛💋 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
that's very interesting ----for us , being married for nearly 20 years at the time , trying to bring the subject up was funny, hard, exciting.....hadn't been with anyone else for 20 years and then discussing the issus of playing with others.I had no idea in my mind that my wife had a fantasy about playing with another woman or seeing my with another woman either------ real eye opener
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was a monogamous and frustrated married woman for years of my life. I've been mostly single for the last three. In these three years, I've experimented, adventured, frolicked and cavorted to my hardened heart's content. Now I've met a guy... It's early days. He can see that I have a high sex drive, a deep throat, exploratory tongue and fingers. I asked about porn (yes of course) and threesomes (him never, me of course). My question is this: how the hell do I discuss polyamory, bisexuality, swinging, group sex, bdsm with a nice, geeky, vanilla guy I want to keep in my life? Another thought is to watch some soft porn if you can and invite a horny girlfriend of yours over, and get a little amorous with her. See what his reaction is, however slowly slowly said the monkey. good luck ;o))
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hello there I'm new to these phones let me no if this finds u . Littlebigman
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RHP User
11 years ago
Go in like a D11 Dozer and just tell him..... Two things can happen... A). He'll run away pissing his pants.....loss to you?? Zero. B). He'll embrace it with open arms, an open mind, and an open pair of boxers..... :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ulltmately, do you want to end up with someone with whom you can't be your true self? If you think he may come around - approach it slowly and gently (as I'm sure you know already). And definitely fudge the details of previous liaisons so he doesn't feel he has such a steep hill to climb to reach your level. Wishing you good luck and great sex! Amber xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you are definitely over your experimentation and playtime to even consider a relationship....I am still at the beginning of my journey and if anything like me, this vanilla guy must have something about him that makes him special. Everyone's advice has been great, but only you know him enough to even guess how he will respond. If you let too much time pass before telling him, he could freak, too soon, and freak.. have you considered telling him you want to date him, and date others? That is more than acceptable in the vanilla community, so if after dating for a while, if you decide to be exclusive, tell him then....best of both worlds...and he would've gotten to know you, know you're not a freak and maybe be more accepting. Just a thought....xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
For those who feel there is no place for monogamy and seem to think jealousy is a text book blooper. Bit like a frog telling a fish it does not need water. Feelings hurt when they have been betrayed, not when they have been honoured. Some people don't seem to remember what feelings are for, even afraid to remember them. Sad thing when they start to believe their own bullshit and expect others to. Mado Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
That may look as it was directed at your OP, it wasn't at all. Thinking of your friend and the likes and reminded of some of the crap that has been expressed over the past in these forums. It does have something to do with this topic, would not have thought it otherwise.
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GezWouldGo
11 years ago
I'm surprised you even met, let alone hooked up!
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abcplus1
11 years ago
Weigh up what you risk against the reward of what you could gain. If one outweighs the other............. Only met one straight man EVER that said he would not like to be part of a mmf threesome, so maybe start there. Baby steps.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Go the Nike.... Just do it!
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is kinda sorta how it went ... started with me suggesting he set his phone to vibrate and put it in his jocks ... he's horny ...me: how dirty is dirty for you? (legit question I thought and quite inoffensive)he wanted a pic and I told him I don't do phone sex, sexting blah blah because it's mind numbingly boring .. He asked me if I like toys ... (lol)I said be careful what you ask - you may not want to hear the answer ... (Taking it slooooooooowly) then ... so fucking predictable and I spank myself for going there ... Would you do 3some? Do you have a friend? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't fuck vanillas.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' so fucking predictable and I spank myself for going there ... Would you do 3some? Do you have a friend? Did you tell him about your friends Sammy and Bruno?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' I don't fuck vanillas. I'm sad....
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RHP User
11 years ago
For god sake just tell him. Either he can handle it or not
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ha so what next? This is kinda sorta what happened with me: Licked his ass, he's writhing around in ecstasy. Me: do you like that? The answer:yeeeeees, yeees, god yes :) Later he says it's never happened to him before. Later still, he does it to me. In between, we're walking home under a shadowy river bridge and my clothes are practically ripped off and my body ravished. Third date went extremely well and I'm sloooooowllllyyyy applying paint.... Really really interesting replies, it's really helped me relax, open up and slow down. Thanks again all x - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You shouldn't repress who you are & what you want. Personally if a woman admitted it to me I would prefer to hear it early on in the relationship & would think it was awesome and celebrate with the kinkiest activity you could dream up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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bedsled
11 years ago
If he is as truly innocent as I read into it, I would assume his understanding of alot of the topics you'd like to discuss are quite limited.Whilst you have the option of using porn to open the conversation, you will likely find his porn collection is not aligned with what you are looking to discuss. Sure you can play him some of your favored films, however the shock factor may burn him prematurely. Another option is filling him in on 'discussions you had with the girls at work'Make up a conversation about a situation you'd like to play out and drip feed him scenarios and opinions of others (potentially opinions of people here) and gauge his reaction. Ask his opinions, leaving room for him to ask your opinions. Reinforce that you would be willing to try just about anything with him as he stirs up something dark and kinky within you.Obviously work your way up from the most vanilla ideas towards the more kinky ideas over a period of time. If you start finding alot of resistance to your ideas, you'll have to start being more direct. If you still can't find the willingness to explore you're looking for you're really best looking for what you both seek with others as it becomes difficult to maintain a happy relationship when restricted from doing that which you desire. I'm sure with your to-do-list, you will have little difficulty finding a willing partner on here, myself included ;) There are very few red blooded males who are not interested in atleast 50% of what you have listed, so he may surprise you what lurks beneath his 'geeky' exterior....
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RHP User
11 years ago
if you don't want to continue activities then no need to tell him anything If you DO want to continue then definitely tell him
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gazpacho
11 years ago
That's not eezing him into it! Oh gawd. He's probably still coming to terms with the toys response! Poor lad will be seeing a priest right about now to remove the demon from his mind! :p Hugs Gazpa xxxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't get to put my demon in he's bum. Oh well ... NEXT!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Wtf is wrong with me lately ...
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MessYourSheets
11 years ago
Having read ur question... One answer springs to my mind. Just show him! Lol telling someone could take some explaining, a. Lot of awkward chit chat.. Put on a leash and throw him a whip, I say :p hehe - Posted from rhpmobile
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chevtrek
11 years ago
Don't pick vanilla/geeky as it wont last as many timesseen this explode in both sexes.You have to find that kinky guy who adores all the variety and stimulation.Be you and don't change or stop being you..
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RHP User
11 years ago
As I said earlier - You cannot hide it forever.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't fuck vanillas....don't pick vanillas... Bahaha Not one of you told them straight out?? You danced AROUND the subject and expected the other person to "catch on".... Bahahaha sometimes the non-vanillas are bigger pussies than vanillas..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can't cast a post of arrogance without following it up with advice.... So here it goes.... Party A: ok we need to talk about sex, so that we both know what page to be on. Party B: uhhhh ok...what's up? Party A: What is your idea of kinky? For the purposes of this simulated conversation lets assume the person is more vanilla than a vanilla pod. Party B: well I'd say toys, threesomes, trying sex in the loungeroom. Party A: well my idea is *insert your individual kinks, fetishes* do you think you can handle this?? Party B will now need a pacifier and probably a change of underwear..... BUT..... A truly accepting person of your individuality, your sexuality, will then pick through your list and say yay or nay. Offer subtitutes, or even offer to allow you to persue those kinks and fetishes with someone else if they're not comfortable with it, but wish to see you're satisfied....AND....tell you their list if they haven't already. The proof will be in Party B's willingness to TRY stuff with you. This also means, that YOU must also be truly ACCEPTING of those vanilla pods - which means you may have to teach, guide them, expose them to your side - in order to have things work out for the best. If you're only going to get frustrated with the process, then you're just as closed minded as some of the vanilla pods. So..... The lesson today kids is.... Don't dance around the topic like you're Mary Contrary in her pissy little garden, take the bull by it's horns and COMMUNICATE. Honestly, openly, and without fear. After all......you'd hate them to assume about you, so why would you assume about them?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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N4November
11 years ago
I'm really glad I met my partner in crime here in RHP-land. There is complete openness and honesty between us. Only today we were out for a walk and I reminded him that I am the only one for him. Well, only if I can watch and we chuckled wickedly. We do love watching the other play!! But this issue came up recently. I have been wanting to meet a local girl that contacted a while ago but I hadn't been able to catch up with her until now. So I sent her a text and she replied that she had had started seeing a guy and he had no idea about that side to her sexuality. Yet. But it got me thinking that I don't believe I couldn't be authentic about who I am should I start dating again. It would be like going back to an unhappy marriage and that hollowness you would feel for suffocating so much of yourself. I just couldn't do it. Ask questions. Lots of people fake it until they're liberated!! He may yet be your perfect wingman!!!
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