M53
In Support of Men
October 21 2013
Comments
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On_Safari
11 years ago
.....just need to find some generic words- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't tell anyone kay!! Men are Human Beings from the Planet Mars. FOXYTyping this from Planet Venus.Any ladies care to join me???
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some days..I want to kill you mother Fuckers!!*Dear Lord please for give me*and other days..I just want to jump your fucking bones, make love to you all day looooong, kiss your little tosh and praise the ground you walk on!!Nah really...I am blessed to have such wonderful, caring, awesome and very patient men in my life who tolerate me at my best/worst times. FOXY
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Who cares ...... if you don't :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
11 years ago
Well written Unrushed1. Now if only there were more guys like you on RHP. Thanks for sharing :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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cleopatrababe
11 years ago
I was married to a Man lol for 31 years and gave birth to a boy ,,, i found the whole experience very tough , ex was abusive and lacked emotion ,, i hung out for his love just to be shown some real caring ,, he taught our son to abuse as well ,,, i felt sad for my ex as he had a loving wife but was unable to really tap in to it ,, many men from that era 40s 50s had little emotion or love from their own fathers and i feel it goes on through generations , my son is now in jail from abusing his own partner when does it stop , men are definetely misunderstood ,, be strong dont cry , be a man ,, manup go to war kill people ,, and then woman want them soft shaved waxed with big strong muscles and abs , there need to be more of these forums and men need to openly talk about their problems , there is to much violence to woman going on in the world , we need to start caring and respecting each other more
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I'm just a mere mortal effing woman!!! Ok ok not "just" lol . Quoting you Unrushed "Stereotypically, we lack the emotional intelligence to articulate or even identify our deeper emotional needs, self reflect, (you were doing really well, then went into this piffle!!) and tend to put these as second priority to a female's emotional needs, providing safety, comfort and nurturing to our partner in the role of protector." FFS really? Don't get me wrong here, I love men, enjoy thier company, light humour, the way they undress me with thier eyes or regard me as some kind of challenge but really? Are you trying to tell me that somewhere inside DG there's a soul? Lol kisses xx
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wingman2014
11 years ago
Surely you didn't mean arsehole? That's just mean ( me pedalling away as fast as I can )- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think women are stronger than you think Unrushed, we don't need your protection although we do appreciate it and love men for it, and we certainly don't need you to pander to our emotional needs. Where do you get that from? Although some women under the influence of hormones is fucking scary I agree! 😳
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't know where your finding them, I can only think that your going for the little bat your eyelid, wiggle their butt young girls. Real woman know their minds and don't expect what you are saying. A woman likes to know that at certain times they can lean on you but also that they are strong enough to be leant on. About the communication, if you recognise that about yourself SAY IT don't put the onus on others. You talk about things that you, yourself are doing, not others therefore I say your either looking for a girl and you can keep this up or you look for a woman that when the relationship gets going TALK about it, yes I know a novel idea, but it works. I really am sorry I can't give you what you want but I am old enough to know what a man is in reality and have no expectations otherwise.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ah... that's it... Cleopatrababe bringing up "manup go to war kill people" ... 1927 - Ish "Compulsory Hero". Awesome song for Karaoke night at The Hood!Anyhoo, this thread has some positively spectacular opportunities to turn into a man bashing flame war with misogynistic backlashes (sorry Freya)... this'll be fun I agree with some of what Unrushed1 says and it would be interesting to also know what women think of the sensitive guy... i.e. Where is the balance between a butch bloke and sensitive lover?P.S, Am glad you threw the "Stereotypically" bit in there so as to not group all of us into the same basket
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RHP User
11 years ago
What's your definition of a butch bloke?
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RHP User
11 years ago
So I started a thread a while back in direct response to a "Men behaving badly" forum. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Men-behaving-greatly-40273 A little reminder of how awesome men can be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
But times have changed, as Meeka said we dont need big strong men to nurture us and protect us. To me the strongest of men are those that show feeling and emotion. Men thinking that because they are men they have to remain strong is frustrating ! Also this tower of strength facade they put up often gives the impression that they are insensitive arseholes! I love a man who can shed a tear, who can say to me I'm hurting too and finding it hard to be strong , to me that is masculinity :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
This site should teach us about the vastness, complexity and beauty of gender and sexual identity! Many different kinds of men for many different kind of ladies, and many different kinds of men for many different kinds of other men, and many different kinds of men for many different kinds of ladies and men at the same time, and transgendered people too! A transgender lady told me of the struggle and turmoil growing up with a mans body when everything else she felt and thought was deemed female. I think we should celebrate the force and sincere impulses of the individual in spite of the general or stereotyped views of what a man or woman should be like!(written by a man )
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I am...err am cirrently seperated, from a hisband whom most women would kill for!!! He is good looking at 52, and looks more around the 40yo bracket. Has a tight body, beautiful eyes, is a wonderful, patient, doting father to all our girls. Our pets love him to death, our neighbours think he's a pure grntleman, people adore him and yes even the wild birfs hand feed from his palm (no not kidding they actually do!!). He has no vices, he smokes a little, enjoys a JD or two after work and is happy to potter around his yard or in his shed doing up his euro motorbike collection. He is a generous and thorough lover, well hung and actually cares about knowing his way around a woman's body. He works hard is a good provider and guess what? After all these years together I don't want him anymore....go figure.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' What's your definition of a butch bloke? To me (and I know this will sound all wrong) the "butch bloke" is the "stereotypical" guy with callused hands, beer gut (or beefcake), never cry's except when Ford wins Bathurst, orders his wife to get a beer and cook dinner, only pays attention to his wife in bed until he has cum, pays more attention to his mates than his partner out of the bedroom etc etc... the extreme bastard for want of a better term.To me the (again this will sound all wrong) the "sensitive lover" is the "non-stereotypical" guy who uses hand care product, keeps very fit (not over the top beefcake), cry's during movies like Sleepless in Seattle, shares in all the cooking and house chores, spends 100% of his time in the bedroom making sure his wife is 100% satisfied, will without thought sacrifice his time with male friends to look after his wife and her needs whatever they may be etc etc... the too nice to be true or a "pussy" (as stereotypical men would refer to them)This is compartmentalizing I know and there are some men who fall solidly in one end or the other of the spectrum with most of us somewhere in between... the question is closer to which end for you all?(Whilst I am a sensitive guy I am butch enough to take any adjustments people feel necessary to throw at me and will be more than happy to discuss over a glass of red or a beer.)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with JayJay 100%!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Are there men still like that? Butch men? I think you can see women's reactions just from the forums how they feel about being told what to do and how to feel. So who do you think women would prefer. A sensitive lover... But not a door mat, we still like you to be dominant in the bedroom or when it counts. I think anyway.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is it a strong man or a partner to trust hold comfort and well simply just connect with a rare bond ! Soemone that u can yell at now n then and still not be afraid to talk about the simple joys of life... Is that a door mat or a hard butch man... It's neither but a combination of both that makes everyone male or female stand tall with love lust n pride..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nice thread Unrushed1. In about 2000, when I first moved to Sydney, I had a very significant moment of realisation that I indulged in far too much man-bashing. It was always disguised as humour but basically it was sarcasm and put-downs designed to emasculate and make men feel superior. When I knew better - when I had the realisation - I did better. I'm proud to say I've very rarely tripped up since that memorable day. People deserve better than to be belittled and put down for sport and it wasn't until that moment that I realised it actually did affect the men I did it to. I remember looking at my husband and saying I was sorry for all the times I'd been mean and hurtful just for fun. A teasing joke and laugh is one thing, but a spirit of meanness is not on. Due to the sarcastic family I grew up in, full to the brim with men, I also genuinely believed men didn't 'feel' particularly deeply. I though they were superficial creatures, incapable of deep, intimate connection and powerful, vulnerable emotions. Five years ago I met a man who taught me differently, and it was a very big eye (and heart) opener for me. Still, even til the end I didn't quite trust it was real, such was my conditioning. I think it's rare for a man to be really connected with himself, but I love love love it when men are. Beautiful creatures, all of you :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I now have the old Joe Jackson song in my head which was released in 1982 so it's not really a new debate.To be honest out of all my worries an doubts about myself I have never really questioned my manhood or what it means to be a man.I've never felt less of myself when I have asked for help when down or cried for what ever reason (Those damn videos people put on facebook of soldiers coming home and surprising their children gets me every time) or any other stereotype I should or shouldn't adhere to. As a single parent in the early days I tried to be both mother and father to my children but I soon realised that I couldn't be both and my kids didn't expect me to either.So when I get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror as far as I'm concerned I see a "real" man and that's all that matters to me.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I second and third that motion with Meeka. Unrushed, I'd love to have a partner who I can rely on who also knows that I am self-reliant, and for him reliable. Being nurtured by your partner is a beautiful thing that I do relish but my man must be as strong as I am and will allow me to "take up arms" at his side and defend with equal tenacity our common battles and goals. Someone who will let me live a life that doesn't revolve around him and he enjoys this freedom also but also someone who can still romance me 20yrs later. Who considers and guides and will allow me to be that shelter from life's storm, that safe anchor in life's ocean. I don't want someone I have to Mother or be mothered by. I want someone who will argue with me and disagree with me but not go to bed angry. Someone who'll encourage and drive me, sing with me, cry with me and hold me. Someone who in the heat of an argument will grab me and wrestle with me until he gets all the fight out of me and we cling to each other in a mass of arms and legs and heat and fire and passion. I want chaos and all the shit that makes that relationship stronger. I want to greet him in lingerie when I'm 80 and still be "the one" he thinks lights up the room. I don't want a perfect life or husband. I want a real life with fun and spontaneity thrown in.....and I'm pretty sure the man I'm longing for doesn't exist. I'm not a perfect person but I'm not a fake either. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yep, unfortunately whilst my descriptions are the extreme ends of the scales I can honestly say I actually know men from both ends of the scale... suffice to say it is only because of my care factor for his wife that the extreme "butch bloke" even gets the time of day from me.And yep, I also know a few "doormats". A much nicer people to be around than the "butch bloke" for sure but their partners are scary.So in the end it may just be a balance thing... or opposites attract.For me I "think" women would prefer the middle ground. What you call the "Strong man" Warning Balance is the hardest thing to judge, when to be more one way or the other.For example, how long should a guy be the caring soul, a rock for the lady to rest her woes and soul upon, before being the hard arsed friend and telling her to "suck it up"?... this is where I think men, the fun species we are, fail the most.
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RHP User
11 years ago
want the fairytale,men think that they have to be the fairytale...until we open our eyes and stop fantasising about the perfect and embrace a range of the ''Possible'' we will remain locked into an eighteenth century view of life and love.Cinderella meets Pretty Woman.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ok, ok, ok. This is not as uplifting as I thought it might be LOL. To keep the ball rolling, I apologise for the sweeping generalisations in the opening post. Seems the SNAG went out of fashion in the 80's [insert dinosaur pic here]. Responding in order: @Superfoxxy- Glad to hear you are getting some of the good stuff. I'm sure you men are adoring you moreso than tolerating you @DG- Put a spoonful of concrete in your coffee this morning, did we? @Jason_Leslie- Thank you. @cleopatrababe- Abuse is cyclic in nature, and sometimes it takes a few generations to break the cycle. As you suggested, socially accepted norms may be a contributing factor to setting up the attitudes that allow for violence toward women. Though it is still very prevalent, public awareness and the increasing status of women in modern society is meaning women have more power, independence & freedom, and need to be less reliant on men for their place in society. I think the change in the Family Law Act in 1975 to a 'No Fault' divorce allowed for women to be able to escape abusive marriages that was much more complicated to attempt previously. A campaign by Men Against Violence Towards Women comes to mind in men actually getting together to stand against this issue, and encourage and support men who are trying to break free of this cycle. Community based White Ribbon Day and Reclaim The Streets are more movements aimed at creating positive change throughout society. I am sorry to hear about your past exposure to this, and that your son has fallen into the trap of imitating his fathers actions, and I hope you have had the support that you may have needed during these times. I'm sure I dont have the words to convey my empathy to you in this short space and my hopes that your life is better than its ever been, but I want to thank you for sharing, and agree that men do need to talk out their troubles more, and have support to move beyond where they may be struggling in life. Thank you. @I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E(post number 1) If I didn't know you loved me, I would think you are having a go at me here. Besides, I'm sure you and Meeka with your sexual fetishes have brought a few grown men to tears.... @bigmamma1- I really had to read over your post a few times to understand where you are coming from. You are not particularly clear about it, but you make some good points about the man vocalising his inability to communicate his feelings well to his partner, rather than letting things play out and casting the blame elsewhere. I think that's what you mean, and yes, it is sound advice. As for assumptions about myself and the women/girls I may be engaging with, you are lacking in some very important information to be able to jump to those conclusions. Just to address that point, the last 2 long term partners have all been highly driven, assertive and powerful women in their own rights who command respect out of integrity and self assurance. I am a laid back, amiable character who finds comfort in knowing my partner can look after themselves, and am secure enough to not be challenged too much in the presence of a self directed woman with a mind and a voice. Your post alludes to 'real women' and real men', I tend to tune out a bit hearing those terms. Like I said in my original post, I find them restrictive. @amicus- 'stereotpyical' meaning bell curve distribution. Fuzz ball at one end, awesome on the other @jay_jay- Its so refreshing to hear these sentiments from you. As Meeka referred to, I think the sentence about men stepping into role of protector at his own expense has been the derailing comment of this thread from the original post. Its not necessarily the need of the woman that makes this happen, but someone here (sorry, my eyes have gone blurry from staring at the screen) suggested something like that is the assumed role that men fall back on when they don't know what to do when their partner is distressed, a habit. Some women also expect it of men too though. Not all women are emotionally resilient. Those women are not represented in the female contingent of RHP forumites. IMO men's 'stereotypical' default mode of remaining strong and having a façade of strength is as frustrating to some men as it is to some women, especially those that need to express more than they can. Apart from that rave, I think I love you! Thanks for your wonderful insights. @StSinner- No boundaries. Embrace the full spectrum of human diversity and expression. @ Indy (post 2)- You would have stayed if it was fulfilling to you and who you want to be. You made the right decision, I'm sure. @Meeka- when you use the term door mat, all I get is a visual of Jon Bon Jovi's chest @Warning69- again, embracing both ends of the spectrum and all in between. Thats balance. Page one done, I am exhausted. My masculinity is about to be reduced to ughs for responses. Anyone up for cuddles? Lastly @Mes- I thought about retiring from the forums after reading that thread you started, all was wonderful and I felt full of warm fuzzies. Doesn't get better than that!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why is it frustrating??? Also - as I said in that other thread - what is the point of two emotional wrecks?? It doesn't help the situation any, it still needs to be dealt with, and by allowing our emotions in, it clouds our objectivity resulting in poor decision making, which would in my mind result in even more hurt coming to effect. An example..... My middle daughter is who is now 9, started choking on some of her dinner at about 18 months old. Her mother froze. Just dead like a door nail in a hyper vigilant kind of state. I could do one of two things. Panic, freeze, turn myself to shit by allowing my emotions to cloud the task, or I could act. I chose to act. I started working away. She turned crimson, so I asked her mother to call the ambulance.......she stood still.....I ended up yelling at her "Ambulance.....NOW!!" Finally....she moves to the phone. My daughter still desperately trying to breathe, and things got tense. Just after the ambos were dispatched, my daughter vomited while inclined on my legs and her gasp of air was a relief. By the time the ambulance turned up, my daughter was nestled into my neck asleep, one hand on my ear and a thumb in her mouth. The way I see it, I could've lost my shit, or I could take that bull by its horns, and worry about the emotional fallout later. My question is, is that still the sign of an insensitive arsehole?? Cos I'm a tad confused. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What's a Man now, What's a Man mean? Is he rough or is he rugged - is he cultured, is he clean. Now it's all changed, it's got to change more. We think it's getting better but no body's really sure. And so it goes, go round again, but now and then we wonder who the real Men are...
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RHP User
11 years ago
@indy(3rd post)- that sounds ideal. A quick question not related to the white knight/protector reference. How would you respond to that man when his emotional strength is low and needs comforting and reassurance to recentre himself? Would you consider him less a man if he was a bumbling mess? @Freya- what is your view of a sensitive and vulnerable man, assuming he has his shit together most days? Just to bring this thread back on topic, I'll repost the last bit for response. I thought I would start this thread to hear supportive views of men, their complexities, and their sensitivities from expressing their primal nature to understanding their emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs. Would love to hear some uplifting perspectives on this topic.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have a friend who does workshops for men and boys around positive masculinity. I think its fantastic that there are programs that encourage men and boys to be the best man they possibly can be. The man in question is one of the loveliest human beings I have ever met, warm, enthusiastic, joyful and can own when his spirits are flagging and he is finding life difficult. When he talks about his partner, you can feel the love he has for her and how much he misses her when she is out of the country. Cleo, I feel for you and your son. Exposure to domestic violence is not good for any child. Unrushed, I think some of what you say is a little old fashioned. I think your intention is great but as others have said, so many women don't have an expectation of being looked after or provided for. Or are you saying that men are locked into that stereotype of being the provider? Perhaps it is men's expectations of themselves and their role in relationships that we could be discussing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Snap out of it.....knots
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Playful2looking
11 years ago
Heres a little story. There is a building in town that sells husbands. On the ground floor there are the dead beat husbands as you go from floor to floor they get better. Now a friend of mine went shopping for a husband. Of course she skipped through the first few floors but as she went up they got so much better until she got to this floor where all the men were perfect they were everything she wanted. But she still didn't feel they were good enough for her. This friend asked the sales staff; was there any more floors above. Of course there is but most women dont go up there.Of course she felt she is not like most women. So she found the stairs that led up to the next floor, when she got there the floor was empty except for a really old woman sitting in a chair. Looking around she asked this woman where all the husband were. The woman laughed and told her that there is no such thing as the perfect husband.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bring back the rebel with a cause, I thought we were dissecting the man's mind here, now again it seems to be about what you woman want....exhale
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' want the fairytale,men think that they have to be the fairytale...until we open our eyes and stop fantasising about the perfect and embrace a range of the ''Possible'' we will remain locked into an eighteenth century view of life and love.Cinderella meets Pretty Woman. Big contributor to so many relationships and marriages breaking down these days....because they are based on fantasy, not reality.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I went to Cardiff an got my daily coffee :)) I looked at a couple holding hands as they crossed the road :) the male was very old when I first started working life so so long ago I knew way back then they cldnt have children but he was devoted to his life partner :)) I looked at then and smiled to myself as for me knowing him so long ago n seeing them toady gave hope that true lasting love is possible :)) I wld think they wld be easy 90 plus now n still looking out with respect n love for each other... As a young guy I thought he was an odd male but now I see he is still as much in love with his bride as he was the day he meet her... Love seeing this n when it's from our part it means so so much more :))
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wingman2014
11 years ago
As L&S put it , there is no such thing as a perfect husband or a perfect relationship for that matter. Yes men try to hide their emotional side , it's a self preservation thing . And we are not that good at understanding just what it is a woman wants and desires most of the time . Best you can hope for is that you find that rare connection with someone that lights up your life . Rare as rocking horse shit these days it seems . If you can manage that then great . Lots of short term relationships start this way . The hard part is maintaining that passion as time passes . It's so easy to just let that flame go out and rack it up to just another life experience . Communication is the vital key . I know from personal experience that it is easy to shut up shop and say its all to hard . But if you can manage to really talk on an equal level then you are a chance at least of keeping that flame burning . As I have said before if the juice is worth the squeeze , then squeeze that sucker with everything you have .- Posted from rhpmobile
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wingman2014
11 years ago
Time for a double dose of concrete - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
I love Tara and our children with all my heart. When times get tough I rely on that.Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
What a great post OP. Even on my profile I mention how much I adore men. Yep I've tried the bi thing and it just didn't work....I love men! The boyish glint in your eyes when you're up to mischief, the way you laugh with your mates when your having a beer, the way you smell when you've been working, your strong hands, the way you can't ever find anything in the fridge or pantry or cupboard, your strength when you pick me up and put me on the kitchen bench, I love how competitive you guys are! ....my god I could go on for pages. Your simplicity is your most endearing quality . I would never think that men don't hurt or feel, they just do it differently. Still so much to keep learning about you wonderful creatures! Minxy xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Very much alive and well.. I dont mind taking my share , I have big shoulders and still manage to relax and smile once the dust settles... Just the way I am...I find women who become bitter after a bad relationship never quite manage to leave it behind. Understandable for most. But sadly ' it takes very little to set them off which shows me its only ever surface deep at any time. Dumping on a man for the sake of it is a sign of some underlying legacy from the past, that scarred them badly. They know that and are usually at the ready to defame any man who gets in their way... I love woman, I think when a woman is soft and nice' men have this natural desire to want to protect them. When the vibes are serene everything seems moves along nicely as nature intended.. When faced with the opposite, we feel somewhat intimidated by the anger and go into a defensive mode. Not much fun 'so for the man it becomes a matter of fight or flight.. The day we all learn to accept that today is the first of many happy ones and leave the past behind ' the better..
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RHP User
11 years ago
but I didn't really think that I was off topic.All a man really needs to be is kind ,caring,.loving ,intelligent and interested in me.I don't care if they are short or tall,rich or poor,confident or not.A neurotic emotional mess on the other hand, is very unattractive and even dangerous for me to be around.to be vulnerableis to allow others to see youis to allow yourself to fear.to be vulnerableis a strange and compelling beautyto be vulnerableis to have courageto be vulnerableis to take off the amourto be vulnerableis to trust that theother will do the same.is to trust the otherwill do the same
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On_Safari
11 years ago
What would I do when he was having a "flat" moment? Good Lord man I'd love him so much more for it!!! Because it would be my chance to ease his troubles, listen, cuddle, pamper and just love..... It isn't rocket science, it's give and take and give again. Being able to share vulnerabilities is as important in any relationship as sharing strengths, victories, happiness and disappointment. As for your observation on quote 2: (as a tear slips sideways) you've come to know me quite well during our chats. As have my other RHP friendships, I wonder if being so transparent is a good thing. Sometimes I wish I knew how to hate people more...... Thank you though. ~ Indy : Reflecting on what life really is about and doing the best I can with what is at the moment.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' want the fairytale,men think that they have to be the fairytale...until we open our eyes and stop fantasising about the perfect and embrace a range of the ''Possible'' we will remain locked into an eighteenth century view of life and love.Cinderella meets Pretty Woman. How true.... carry the 'fantasy' and you'll always be disappointed, open your eyes and see what's in front of you here in the real world and you might be surprised. Pleasantly. It says a lot to me personally when all I read from women (mostly younger but some around my age) that they search for a 'unicorn'... when the benchmark is a mythical creature, then really what sort of outcome do you expect? The definition of a man has never really changed, because biologically and evolutionarily, we haven't changed. Societal pretence and other fleeting fads just divert us from what we really are...animals here for one purpose and one purpose alone. Continuation of the species. The sooner we all wake up to the fact that the unicorn is, and should remain, a nice unrealistic but entertaining fantasy, and start being a bit more reality based and have expectations that meet what we ourselves have to offer, who knows, relationships may actually start forming again, commitment may actually make a resurgence, and the throwaway treatment of the long term relationship (Gee..lets face it why would you when you can stay on the net and have five others just in case one doesn't work out) may just end. Wouldn't that be something. Probably not in my lifetime however.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' @DG- Put a spoonful of concrete in your coffee this morning, did we? I pour milk over granite chips for my breakfast.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I talk to you, that means I like our conversation. If I laugh, that means I think you're funny. If I'm rolling on the floor with tears on my face laughing, that means you're very funny. If i ask you out to dinner, that means I'd like to have your company whilst I'm enjoying my other love, food. If I ask you to have coffee, that means I'd like enjoy your company whilst I submit to my thirst. If I offer you the couch to sleep on, that means I don't want you to drive home when I can clearly see you're not in any condition to drive. If you ask me how I am, chances are you'll get told good. Even if I'm having a bad day, as my problems are mine, not yours. If I say, we need to talk, then WE need to talk. Lastly a question...... Given the above are no brainers, why do you need a man to verbalise this???- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I mean "the obvious"- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
An internet acquaintance of mine once wrote, “The first big privilege which whites, males, people in upper economic classes, the able bodied, the straight (I think one or two of those will cover most of us) can work to alleviate is the privilege to be oblivious to privilege.” This checklist is, I hope, a step towards helping men to give up the “first big privilege.” The Male Privilege Checklist 1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed. 2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More). 3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex. 4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities. 5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More). 6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job. 7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More). 8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are. 9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question. 10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question. 11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More). 12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home. 13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press. 14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true. 15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be. 16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More). 17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default. 18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More). 19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones. 20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented. 21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex. 22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex. 23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial. 24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More). 25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More). 26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More). 27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More). 28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More). 29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore. 30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch. 31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.) 32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he. 33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is. 34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name. 35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon. 36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male. 37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me. 38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More). 39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding. 40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers. 41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer. 42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2). 45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.) 45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege. (Compiled by Barry Deutsch, aka “Ampersand.” Permission is granted to reproduce this list in any way, for any purpose, so long as the acknowledgment of Peggy McIntosh’s work is not removed. If possible, I’d appreciate it if folks who use it would tell me how they used it; my email is barry-at-amptoons-dot-com.)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry, and kudos to anyone who reads it all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Women like words not caveman grunts. Clear enough for you? Oh and I will have one sugar with my coffee pet. :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' Given the above are no brainers, why do you need a man to verbalise this???- Posted from rhpmobile In response... see all other posts about communication
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry SirLurk... I should state that I do agree with most of your other points, we men are simple beasts and pretty open and simple in advertising our thoughts but remember we Martians speak another language to the Venusians out there so if we all use common english to help understand each other then life would be much better
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I think it's a double standard that men can't be non-verbal much the same as the gals. Would you like a marshmallow too??- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Women are non-verbal? Dude. Are you looking at the body language, the cats arse expressions, the banging of pots, pans and doors, etc? although I thought you men were always complaining how women never shut up! No marshmallows I am watching my figure. ... Oh okay, I will have a Tim Tam.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot'Why is it frustrating??? Also - as I said in that other thread - what is the point of two emotional wrecks?? It doesn't help the situation any, it still needs to be dealt with, and by allowing our emotions in, it clouds our objectivity resulting in poor decision making, which would in my mind result in even more hurt coming to effect. An example..... My middle daughter is who is now 9, started choking on some of her dinner at about 18 months old. Her mother froze. Just dead like a door nail in a hyper vigilant kind of state. I could do one of two things. Panic, freeze, turn myself to shit by allowing my emotions to cloud the task, or I could act. I chose to act. I started working away. She turned crimson, so I asked her mother to call the ambulance.......she stood still.....I ended up yelling at her "Ambulance.....NOW!!" Finally....she moves to the phone. My daughter still desperately trying to breathe, and things got tense. Just after the ambos were dispatched, my daughter vomited while inclined on my legs and her gasp of air was a relief. By the time the ambulance turned up, my daughter was nestled into my neck asleep, one hand on my ear and a thumb in her mouth. The way I see it, I could've lost my shit, or I could take that bull by its horns, and worry about the emotional fallout later. My question is, is that still the sign of an insensitive arsehole?? Cos I'm a tad confused. - Posted from rhpmobile I'm not saying that men should never be strong, its just a case that there are some men out there that refuse to show any kind of dent in their armour. You can see clearly that they are hurting yet they continue to say "no I'm fine, all good" I guess there are some men that find themselves in relationships with women who hold no strength of there own and this inadvertently means they have to take on the role of being strong. As for me I can be very emotional but I am also extremely strong and resilient. I will often turn to a man for his strength and just ask him to hold me and be strong for me at times that I cant do it alone, but I also love it when a man can let me wrap my arms around him and be his tower of strength when he needs it I guess I am just a woman of equality!! I don't believe men are stronger I believe men should cook and clean as well I believe women should contribute to household income I believe real men cry Sure men can be arseholes but women can be bitches!!
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inspirit
11 years ago
In my own experience. Be up front and straight forward with a man. Tell him how you ACTUALLY feel and he WILL fix it. That's what they do.....Fix things.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Slight correction for you Inspirit... we will "try to fix it"... sometimes we end up just stuffing thing up more but at least most of the times the intention is pure And JayJay... I need a Hug... I'll return in equality (and then some)
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's my point entirely. I can see when women are happy, I can tell when they're pissed off, I don't need to be told by them verbally. So I'll come back to the same question, why do some women have to hear "I like you" or similar?? It just seems pointless to me, that a frequency of phone calls, invitations, etc to state the obvious "I like your company" etc. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm very much like that myself. I don't like to show the dents in the armour. Some of those reasons include and it varies depending on the circumstances:- I don't feel as though my partner CAN help with how I'm feeling. My partner may have displayed an unwillingness to talk about other problems in the past. My partner may have larger problems and I don't wish to add to their burden. I don't feel like I even can identify what it is or why it is that I'm feeling a particular way. And lastly - until I think up some more - I feel too embarrassed about it to talk. I don't believe that men do it intentionally, and I know that you haven't implied or said that they do, but I think that most men that don't readily talk about their feelings have the purest of intentions. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I sincerely apologise if I've hijacked this thread. - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
11 years ago
Thats only because what you are trying to fix was never relayed in a TRUE context. WOMAN never discuss there thier TRUE feelings. We are so afraid of rejection!!
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On_Safari
11 years ago
You covered what it means when you offer your couch to a lady. What's it mean when you offer a place beside you on the mattress? What's it mean if you intend to occupy that same place on the mattress? What's it mean if this mattress sharing thing you decide you want to occur with a certain frequency? And what's it mean when you find yourself enjoying just the thought of that idea......Hmmm? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What does it mean if I offer her a place beside me on the mattress??? She's a very close friend. What does it mean if I intend to occupy that same place on the mattress? It means one of us won't sleep too well with the others weight on them all night. What does it mean if I decide that I want to share that mattress thing with a certain frequency??? I'm a glutton for punishment as I would be the one not sleeping in the above example. And lastly..... Why would I enjoy thinking about not sleeping??? 😝- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like Indi said it's not rocket science, I think simplicity is the key....a holding of the hands, a kiss, a pressing of the bodies together, a simple conversation, those moments where you don't even think about what it is you are doing, nor do you try to understand why you do it, has the biggest impact. Life's complicated enough with so many outside influences defining just who we are. men are men and woman are woman, we walk in parallel and sometimes we walk the same path, do we really need to analyse why. Look into the eye's you may get a glimpse of the soul.... Leave the bullshit behind and just smile...We will always have each others back if it's real. xknots
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RHP User
11 years ago
Geez, I really am old fashion. Offer the couch ? really ? First thing I'd do is offer her my bed and go sleep on couch myself. I thought that happened without thinking ? Besides' sleeping on the couch is a little bit like camping out under the stars 'you usually have a shit of a nights sleep.. and you never know whats hiding under the lounge.. THAT angry lady says Im a lil old fashion.. guess she got part of that right...
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On_Safari
11 years ago
What's it mean if you offer to share your poota's keyboard...🙊!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
11 years ago
with out reading all the other posts in here your question may be referring toooooo. inspirit thinks.... if you do share your poota keyboard then one would hope you are being taken care of from behind as you comment in these here forums.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If my partners hands are on my keyboard than she has bigger issues than me, as she should be playing the piccolo 😈- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Her ..what are you thinking about?Him...I am not thinking about anything.Her...you must be thinking about something.Him...no,nothingHer...please ,please tell me what you are thinking about.Him,er..I just remembered,I am thinking about whats in the shed.Her,...the shed?!!!Him ...yeah,must go get the thingummy from there now...see ya soon.
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madotara69
11 years ago
Miss Freya. The shed is where the washing machine is and Tara quite often likes to sit on it during spin cycle.Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
1 - Pump weights and look buff2 - Take the bin out every Monday3 - Don't spend more than I earn... That's what Im told to do anyway. Works for me. Kidding. This is a good post with great responses. I love RHP forums for this reason. I think that sometimes there is an unrealistic expectation that men will all have a six pack, go for hours in bed and earn 6 figures. Men have needs, emotions, insecurities and desires like everyone else. Society and the media have other ideas for us but in reality we're all human and deserve to be treated as such.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77'but I didn't really think that I was off topic.All a man really needs to be is kind ,caring,.loving ,intelligent and interested in me.I don't care if they are short or tall,rich or poor,confident or not.A neurotic emotional mess on the other hand, is very unattractive and even dangerous for me to be around.to be vulnerableis to allow others to see youis to allow yourself to fear.to be vulnerableis a strange and compelling beautyto be vulnerableis to have courageto be vulnerableis to take off the amourto be vulnerableis to trust that theother will do the same.is to trust the otherwill do the same Hey Freya, you weren't off topic at all. There was meant to be a new paragraph before reiterating the last part of the original post (which didn't happen from my phone), and it was meant for the wider audience. not you personally. My question was prompting you to come up with some gold, which I knew you would be able to do, and I was right. Thank you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'brisguy69007' The definition of a man has never really changed, because biologically and evolutionarily, we haven't changed. Societal pretence and other fleeting fads just divert us from what we really are...animals here for one purpose and one purpose alone. Continuation of the species. Hey brisguy, from an evolutionary perspective, this is true. I also agree that society and culture are kind of arbitrary concepts that change with time. That is not to say there is no value in them. The greatest fulfilment I have ever experienced was the birth of my child. It truly felt like my work on earth has been accomplished, a miracle which will always be unparalleled in my life experience. As a man though, I don't think I have become redundant afterwards. There is much more to the hairier gender of the species than just procreative ability, and the primal urge to practice this procreative act as often as possible. Nice points about the positive effects of reality vs fairytales though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi awesome71, I did read the whole post, and I agree with all of it, but that would be better suited to a comparative thread on men's vs women's issues, unless you were suggesting men stop complaining and get back to supporting women at the expense of their own issues. I have a lot to thank feminism for. My role as a male in family and society have been opened up to options that wouldn't have been there in traditional gender roles. Feminism was responsible for that, and I will forever be grateful. Of all the points made above, until they are addressed and equality established, feminism's goal has not been realised. Until those goals are met globally, there is no rest to be had either. There is a slogan I like a lot. It read "A womans place is in the kitchen" which had then been corrected with graffiti to "A woman's place is in the revolution!". As a man, I wont be standing behind you, Ill be up front leading the charge as well. Its my duty to my daughter, as well as all women. Just a question. How would you deal (hypothetically) with your privileged white male partner having a first world crisis?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilmiss_fussy'Nice thread Unrushed1. In about 2000, when I first moved to Sydney, I had a very significant moment of realisation that I indulged in far too much man-bashing. It was always disguised as humour but basically it was sarcasm and put-downs designed to emasculate and make men feel superior. When I knew better - when I had the realisation - I did better. I'm proud to say I've very rarely tripped up since that memorable day. People deserve better than to be belittled and put down for sport and it wasn't until that moment that I realised it actually did affect the men I did it to. I remember looking at my husband and saying I was sorry for all the times I'd been mean and hurtful just for fun. A teasing joke and laugh is one thing, but a spirit of meanness is not on. Due to the sarcastic family I grew up in, full to the brim with men, I also genuinely believed men didn't 'feel' particularly deeply. I though they were superficial creatures, incapable of deep, intimate connection and powerful, vulnerable emotions. Five years ago I met a man who taught me differently, and it was a very big eye (and heart) opener for me. Still, even til the end I didn't quite trust it was real, such was my conditioning. I think it's rare for a man to be really connected with himself, but I love love love it when men are. Beautiful creatures, all of you :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Provocativeminx'...on my profile I mention how much I adore men....the way you can't ever find anything in the fridge or pantry or cupboard...Have you been spying on me Provocativeminx?
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RHP User
11 years ago
No offence....but I'm yet to meet a woman that truly acknowledge a mans feelings. But it's like chivalry these days. Demanded, yet rarely recognised.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Pig's arse.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sexy, charming, intelligent, caring, respectful, cheeky, adventurous (sounding like a template), outdoorsy types, love the smell of men and yes, love smelling sweaty armpits. I agree with Minxy with the simple, uncomplicated nature of men. For me, it's a big turn on! Love that cheeky grin!! I may be a bit old-fashioned, but I like the touch of a man's hand in the small of my back, opening of doors and deep, long and luscious kissing, could do that all night! It may be just a theory of mine, but I think women growing up in a household of men, gives women a good grounding for their future relationships with men and vice versa, men growing up with a household of women seem to have more respect and understanding of women??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Thats only because what you are trying to fix was never relayed in a TRUE context. WOMAN never discuss there thier TRUE feelings. We are so afraid of rejection!! I think I understand.So does this mean that when I ask a woman "How do you feel" or "What are you thinking" I always have to analyse the response as there is probably a hidden meaning?If so, that is unfortunate... would be nice to be trusted enough to be given the straight up raw truth... and do women ever trust a man to discuss their true feelings? (Not trying to start a war here... just confused and concerned)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
After our discussion the other day I find that response a little too generalist....I've acknowledged many men's feelings as I'm sure alot of my RHP female peers would agree. I don't fismiss anyone's feelings, male or female. And I'm a HUGE fan of Men's Charities and Support Networks.....having had some of the staunchest, toughest and respectable specimens of masculine perfection "open up" to me for one reason or another as a friend and peer. You are certainly wrong my dear.....and as I said the other day, how and what you choose to do/feel about any situation in your life is entirely up to you. Melancholy only gets you so far and usually that isn't far at all. The defining feature of a melancholic attitude is perfectionism, you're an idealist who wishes for things to be a certain way, and then get distressed when they are not. Holding yourself and others to unrealistically high standards, and getting distressed when these standards are not met. Being self-deprecating sucks ballz and we all know it's easier to reject and hate things than it is for ALL OF US to love and embrace them instead. I used to be a risk taker.....now those risks are assessed, calculated and planned for BUT I am OPEN to give and receive those worthwhile opportunities that may come my way Sirlurk. Are you? Because no man is an island. 🙈🙉🙊 PS: How did you know my first name?
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On_Safari
11 years ago
What I like about men.....the way they accept you as "one of the boys" and rough house/knock about with you among others. When they draw pictures to help you understand a design principle or idea they have in their heads for something. Their amazingly quick reflexes when someone is about to hurt themselves, drop something or fall.... the way they brush off an act of chivalry or kindness for each other with a "dig" or a laugh. When they offer to boil the billy for you and learn how to make your tea "just right", when they cook with and teach you something new or show you something they think is neat/interesting or even just pretty damn amazing. I relish being challenged by them physically to work alongside/do something with and even if I don't "beat" them the way they look at you with respect and pleasure because you gave it your best shot or simply laughed beside them while working together. I love the smell of a man when's he's been in the sun all day and his skin is glowing and warm to the touch. My Daddy had trawlers and that smell of marine & diesel engine is an aroma that is completely unique and wonderful on any man, my ex-hubby included. I love seeing a man you normally see in a suit or at executive level lose all pretense and just be his gorgeous unguarded natural man-boy self. I love seeing pride when they speak of their family, wives, kids, you. I love your hands, calloused or smooth and the way those hands can hold a baby, dry a child's tears, make something from scratch, pat a mate on the back or gently take my hand. Mostly I love the way they blush when you say something totally unexpected to them be it in humour, appreciation or seduction. I love that soft look they get in their eyes and on their faces when they can't find the words to say what they'd like then kiss you deeply and hold you instead. I love those soft caresses, being carried off to the bedroom giggling and knowing he's as comfortable and at ease around me as I am him. I love the blunt appraisals and I adore all the quirks. I am in awe of some of you, been head over heels in love with a few and plotted murder for a couple but let's face it, for all we men and women give each other the shits.....sometimes we manage to fill that void in each other until it's full to overflowing. What's not to love about that? ~ Indy, off to a Party.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your're a real darlin... Ain't ya.. Good to see a woman who appreciates men for who they are..
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I've had my share of arseholes but all in all, I would still give the shirt off my back to help any of the wonderful and dubious men who've crossed my path. I'm sitting drinking with one of those now, an old professional peer and father to a friend. I have known him longer, when I arrived I kissed his wife's face and said "How are you beautiful Mother?" then reached over and greeted him with a warm but firm handshake, "Hello Mr (insert last name here)" much to the delight of him and the onlookers. I was the same in our workplace and respect where respect is due. And yes the sparkle in his eyes at the expression given is more than worth it. I love my "men" and love that my legend lives on in my old profession. I wouldn't be who I am today without the influences of the men I have experienced and known. Alot of you are just damn spectacular for many reasons.- Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
You shouldn't shorten up anything you write, it is always well worth the read.Mado Tara xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Come hell or highwater someday I'll coerce Mr Wedgey into a trip to your neck of the woods where we'll cook for you both.....the dishes can wait. Mr Wedgey if you read this I hope you won't be too put out but you did say I could "use" you. ~ what's a dinner date in another state between sexy friends?
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madotara69
11 years ago
We certainly do not mind how you may chose to use Wedgey. We also have all the time in the world for such the thoughts.Sounds like a camp out in our backyard, by a natural water hole. Camp oven and Billy, bring your favourite towels, because we are bound to all get soaking wet. heheMado Tara xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I make a cracker of a damper and I believe Mr Wedgey is quite spectacular in water (personal observations show he goes very well in a spa!!). Million star camping....oh yes book me IN!!
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madotara69
11 years ago
Damper, steam boat, spit roast and fondue. And a flagon of Riesling Hock
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On_Safari
11 years ago
But I think monsieur and I will be imbibing a shiraz, a merlot, grenache or some such..... just wondering, maybe a bottle of The Green Fairy just so everyone loosens up aplenty and as we've found.....lol she tastes like shite but does tend to rock your socks waaaaaay off!!!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
A local merlot, a friend made that won gold 2003, saved for special occasions. Grown in the cleanest water/soil of the Colo river banks.He worked his arse off growing the grapes, and he is the bass player in our band, we use to jam in his shed looking out over the vines and the river, it is said to be the cleanest river in NSW.No matter how much I tried, he was not prepared to grow some bourbon grapes. I couldn't understand why. hehe
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On_Safari
11 years ago
He plays guitar and apparently I can sing lol as for the Merlot, my palate is still untrained....his on the other hand. He's a bit of a wine snob....🍷- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
We all know we are different..male ....female.So why do we try to change so much each other? Why do we have this point system what is a man and a women?yes there are bastards out there......and yes there are bitches out there.And all this talk and writing just shows we are never being happy with just being man and woman.Why not????Why do men have to change so much.....do our boys still know what a men is....do we women try to blur the lines?We are all great in being women and teach our daughters to be one......Do we really let our boys be man???I am reading so much about Men and it makes my heart bleed what do we want from them? I dont understand anymore.We are.....ying and yung.....why do we fight each other? Why do we not compliment each other?Wouldn't it be so much easier to see what we both can contribute to this fantastic pair we are?Show me a good relationship out there and let me know what makes it so. I would love to hear from them...not always this negatives, what we all do wrong.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you Dr Phil. But I never asked for a psycho analysis :). But when I'm after one ill be definitely calling on you. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Still think your'e a darlin... Do you know how good it is to read positive comments from a positive female... soooooo refreshing... Think we have that in common, I love women . I can't get enough . Nothing better than a light hearted female who doesn't go looking for anything but the good.. Seems like you and MadoTara ( fav couple ) have the right recipe also.. Cheers Jay
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On_Safari
11 years ago
If you insist can you refer to me as Dr G instead ic Dr Phil please 👍 and Jay, I think you're ok too mate even if sometimes you're a touch misinterpreted. Lol and nadotara like a few others from here are definately high up on my "to do" list!! Speaking of which, where's Paintme gone? Anyone?- Posted from rhpmobile
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yankmychain56
11 years ago
todays portrayal of men are Homer Simpson, Family Guy, and american Dad.We are portrayed as Stupid, Childish, incompetent, or violent woman beaters.The old image of a man being the bread winner and protector of the home is gone.The success of the destruction of the family so marxist government can create a nanny state has been accomplished.You cant depend on a MAN to help you, let the state help.I am going to start a grouchy mans clubanyone want to join?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' What I like about men.....the way they accept you as "one of the boys" and rough house/knock about with you among others. When they draw pictures to help you understand a design principle or idea they have in their heads for something. Their amazingly quick reflexes when someone is about to hurt themselves, drop something or fall.... the way they brush off an act of chivalry or kindness for each other with a "dig" or a laugh. When they offer to boil the billy for you and learn how to make your tea "just right", when they cook with and teach you something new or show you something they think is neat/interesting or even just pretty damn amazing. I relish being challenged by them physically to work alongside/do something with and even if I don't "beat" them the way they look at you with respect and pleasure because you gave it your best shot or simply laughed beside them while working together. I love the smell of a man when's he's been in the sun all day and his skin is glowing and warm to the touch. My Daddy had trawlers and that smell of marine & diesel engine is an aroma that is completely unique and wonderful on any man, my ex-hubby included. I love seeing a man you normally see in a suit or at executive level lose all pretense and just be his gorgeous unguarded natural man-boy self. I love seeing pride when they speak of their family, wives, kids, you. I love your hands, calloused or smooth and the way those hands can hold a baby, dry a child's tears, make something from scratch, pat a mate on the back or gently take my hand. Mostly I love the way they blush when you say something totally unexpected to them be it in humour, appreciation or seduction. I love that soft look they get in their eyes and on their faces when they can't find the words to say what they'd like then kiss you deeply and hold you instead. I love those soft caresses, being carried off to the bedroom giggling and knowing he's as comfortable and at ease around me as I am him. I love the blunt appraisals and I adore all the quirks. I am in awe of some of you, been head over heels in love with a few and plotted murder for a couple but let's face it, for all we men and women give each other the shits.....sometimes we manage to fill that void in each other until it's full to overflowing. What's not to love about that? ~ Indy, off to a Party. Thank youMr S
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' Quoting 'brisguy69007' The definition of a man has never really changed, because biologically and evolutionarily, we haven't changed. Societal pretence and other fleeting fads just divert us from what we really are...animals here for one purpose and one purpose alone. Continuation of the species. Hey brisguy, from an evolutionary perspective, this is true. I also agree that society and culture are kind of arbitrary concepts that change with time. That is not to say there is no value in them. The greatest fulfilment I have ever experienced was the birth of my child. It truly felt like my work on earth has been accomplished, a miracle which will always be unparalleled in my life experience. As a man though, I don't think I have become redundant afterwards. There is much more to the hairier gender of the species than just procreative ability, and the primal urge to practice this procreative act as often as possible. Nice points about the positive effects of reality vs fairytales though. HI Unrushed1.. I tend to agree mate, I've also got a perfect little person (or not so little now) and that has defined my life since the moment they were born. I guess for me though, as you've indicated, I wanted to make the point of defining reality against all the pretence and fantasy out there. Its a rant for sure, don't' deny or apologise for that and it boils me blood on occasion, but these days I don't date or get into relationships any more because of it all.. I don't have the energy to play the games or keep up with the expectations any longer. Interesting thread though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Indy, they are some lovely words, and also from you naughtySA. Its good to know that some women can truly appreciate men, that they can be themselves, boyish & uncomplicated, as well as have the depth & strength needed to step up when necessary. There is an awesome talk on TED.com from Brene Brown called The Power of Vulnerability, which suggests people will find genuine strength, integrity,and character from within their vulnerability. Has anybody watched this?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quote Indy " and Jay, I think you're ok too mate even if sometimes you're a touch misinterpreted. LOL... Indy , thats a understatement.. Im more than a touch misinterpreted. As far as being misquoted or misunderstood I think I must be king.. lol. Mind you, although some already know that ' theres more fun in pretending I meant something different ... I dont mind' thankfully they are the few.. Im a happy guy, thats the main thing..Besides 'm ost females I know are genuine, just like you.. BTW, Im not sucking up.. when I see someone positive I say it .
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