M53
In Support of Men
October 21 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
The good vibes of this post belongs to you guys.. apoligys if my last post was a lil rant.. just a lil one...
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On_Safari
11 years ago
You are most welcome and it's all true!! 😃
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him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' What I like about men.....the way they accept you as "one of the boys" and rough house/knock about with you among others. When they draw pictures to help you understand a design principle or idea they have in their heads for something. Their amazingly quick reflexes when someone is about to hurt themselves, drop something or fall.... the way they brush off an act of chivalry or kindness for each other with a "dig" or a laugh. When they offer to boil the billy for you and learn how to make your tea "just right", when they cook with and teach you something new or show you something they think is neat/interesting or even just pretty damn amazing. I relish being challenged by them physically to work alongside/do something with and even if I don't "beat" them the way they look at you with respect and pleasure because you gave it your best shot or simply laughed beside them while working together. I love the smell of a man when's he's been in the sun all day and his skin is glowing and warm to the touch. My Daddy had trawlers and that smell of marine & diesel engine is an aroma that is completely unique and wonderful on any man, my ex-hubby included. I love seeing a man you normally see in a suit or at executive level lose all pretense and just be his gorgeous unguarded natural man-boy self. I love seeing pride when they speak of their family, wives, kids, you. I love your hands, calloused or smooth and the way those hands can hold a baby, dry a child's tears, make something from scratch, pat a mate on the back or gently take my hand. Mostly I love the way they blush when you say something totally unexpected to them be it in humour, appreciation or seduction. I love that soft look they get in their eyes and on their faces when they can't find the words to say what they'd like then kiss you deeply and hold you instead. I love those soft caresses, being carried off to the bedroom giggling and knowing he's as comfortable and at ease around me as I am him. I love the blunt appraisals and I adore all the quirks. I am in awe of some of you, been head over heels in love with a few and plotted murder for a couple but let's face it, for all we men and women give each other the shits.....sometimes we manage to fill that void in each other until it's full to overflowing. What's not to love about that? ~ Indy, off to a Party. That's SO nicely written, Indy. Thank you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
There have been a few posts that have been removed from this thread for whatever reason. Thanks those contributors anyway. It may have had to do with the jokes starting to roll. A quick recap: To err is to be human. To forgive, divine. To err is to be human. To moo, bovine. To err is to be human. To arrggh, Pirate. Something risque like that....
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Lol I'll get you for that Unrushed!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Indy, have you seen that scene from 50 First Dates when Adam Sandler tries to pick up Drew Barrymore by rubbing his hands in fish?
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RHP User
11 years ago
How this is a Guys topic and the shear number of women giving their 2c Its like asking a a sparky to do a building job.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Could take on a whole new meaning.....but I'm told I'm closer to honey, Honey 🌺 and Unrushed my senses long to be filled by you....every fibre of my being thrills to your touch.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is that small pic a small reminder of your flower petals? Damn I miss access to your private gallery. What's a man to do when it's cold, dark & lonely? Meanwhile back at the ranch, has anybody seen that TED talk of Brené Brown on The Power Of Vulnerability?
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On_Safari
11 years ago
....and I'm buying the book! Unrushed: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 🌹 as for the petals of my loveliness.....only time will tell.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
get out of that foul Gladstone air Indy. Newcastle's air quality is great since the steelworks shut down, I promise.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Here is a description from amazon.com about Brené Brown's audio series on The Power of Vulnerability, but still, I recommend viewing the TED.com talk on it. It goes fro 20 mins and is quite moving & insightful. ____________________________ Is vulnerability the same as weakness? “In our culture,” teaches Dr. Brené Brown, “we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” On The Power of Vulnerability, Dr. Brown offers an invitation and a promise—that when we dare to drop the armor that protects us from feeling vulnerable, we open ourselves to the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. Here she dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and reveals that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. “The Power of Vulnerability is a very personal project for me,” Brené explains. “This is the first place that all of my work comes together. This audio course draws from all three of my books—it’s the culmination of everything I’ve learned over the past 12 years. I'm very excited to weave it all into a truly comprehensive form that shows what these findings and insights can mean in our lives.” Guidance and Insights for Wholehearted Living Over the past 12 years, Dr. Brené Brown has interviewed hundreds of people as part of an ongoing study of vulnerability. “The research shows that we try to ward disappointment with a shield of cynicism, disarm shame by numbing ourselves against joy, and circumvent grief by shutting off our willingness to love,” explains Dr. Brown. When we become aware of these patterns, she teaches, we begin to become conscious of how much we sacrifice in the name of self-defense—and how much richer our lives become when we open ourselves to vulnerability. “In my research,” Dr. Brown says, “the word I use to describe people who can live from a place of vulnerability is wholehearted.” Being wholehearted is a practice—one that we can choose to cultivate through empathy, gratitude, and awareness of our vulnerability armor. Join this engaging and heartfelt teacher on The Power of Vulnerability as she offers profound insights on leaning into the full spectrum of emotions—so we can show up, let ourselves be seen, and truly be all in. Highlights: Cultivating shame resilience—the key to developing a sense of worth and belonging Vulnerability as the origin point for innovation, adaptability, accountability, and visionary leadership Our emotional armory—how we use perfectionism, numbing, and other tactics to avoid feeling vulnerable The myths of vulnerability—common misconceptions about weakness, trust, and self-sufficiency Discovering your vulnerability armor—recognizing what makes us shut down, and how we can change The 10 guideposts of wholehearted living—essential skills for becoming fully engaged in life Six hours of stories, warm humor, and transformative insights for living a life of courage, authenticity, and compassion from Dr. Brené Brown
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' If you insist can you refer to me as Dr G instead ic Dr Phil please 👍 and Jay, I think you're ok too mate even if sometimes you're a touch misinterpreted. Lol and nadotara like a few others from here are definately high up on my "to do" list!! Speaking of which, where's Paintme gone? Anyone?- Posted from rhpmobile Just went walkabout for a bit
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unrushed, you are a beautiful man with a beautiful soul (just like myself ;P) and I could not agree with you more.Why can't women be open and have the courage to compliment men in a great and positive way as well as recognising male beauty???
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RHP User
11 years ago
I watched Brene Brown last night....it is definitely well worth a look x R
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' get out of that foul Gladstone air Indy. Newcastle's air quality is great since the steelworks shut down, I promise. Unrushed, I can second that living as a poor student in Mayfield and getting the BHP fallout depending on which way the winds blowing. So much nicer now in Newie :-)
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inspirit
11 years ago
how when you break a mans cherry he becomes besotted and wants more and more hehehe.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sexy_swede'Unrushed, you are a beautiful man with a beautiful soul (just like myself ;P) and I could not agree with you more. Why can't women be open and have the courage to compliment men in a great and positive way as well as recognising male beauty??? Its a funny thing compliments. I remember travelling in Java, and being able to openly tell a woman you have never met before there that they were beautiful, and it would be replied with a gracious and simple "Thank you". The enormity of that impact upon me was astounding. Life should be so simple. A mate of mine started a conversation with such a compliment to a woman here in Australia, to which she replied "What the fuck do you want?". They're married now.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77'I watched Brene Brown last night....it is definitely well worth a look x R Awesome Freya, she provides a great delivery of the message. Simple & effective.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Araps' Quoting 'Unrushed1' get out of that foul Gladstone air Indy. Newcastle's air quality is great since the steelworks shut down, I promise. Unrushed, I can second that living as a poor student in Mayfield and getting the BHP fallout depending on which way the winds blowing. So much nicer now in Newie :-)Ahhh, Mayfield. You would have been at Uni the same time as me. I remember a friends house having a 1" coating of the finest coal dust money could buy. Have you been back recently? There is a new upmarket mega-Woolies across the road from Maccas to cater for the new gentrified population, along with the old inhabitants. No greater diversity can be seen in the living human organism than there LOL.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"I don't do hints" and it's so true, women expect guys to have a crystal ball. And when my husband and I broke up he went to my sister to talk as he said he tried to talk to his mates about his feelings but nobody wanted to listen/know. What's with that guys? I adore men too, not going to bother trying to explain after Indy's amazing post, it would fall far too short. But you are awesome x PS. Didn't realise there were so many Novacastrians in the forums!
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RHP User
11 years ago
A novacastrian smorgasbord extravaganza lol- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissKay' "I don't do hints" and it's so true, women expect guys to have a crystal ball. PS. Didn't realise there were so many Novacastrians in the forums! We guys don't do mental telepathy mind reading either .... lolAnd yes, its a Newie forum invasion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And when my husband and I broke up he went to my sister to talk as he said he tried to talk to his mates about his feelings but nobody wanted to listen/know. What's with that guys? Can anyone answer this though?
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's my belief he was appealing for sympathy, not for for a discussion, as he would've had that discussion with the person that it should've mattered most to.....YOU- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' It's my belief he was appealing for sympathy, not for for a discussion, as he would've had that discussion with the person that it should've mattered most to.....YOU- Posted from rhpmobile Lurk I am guessing that yes you are right to a certain degree in that if he wanted to get back together than most likely he would have talked to directly. I reckon very long term relationships are funny though as sometimes you strike up some pretty close friendships with relatives or best friends of the ex'es that don't just disappear overnight once you break up (unless you did something shitty to cause the break up).MissKay I'm guessing he was talking to your sister as he may not have had male friends to talk to that were too blokey to listen as lets face there are some guys that aren't great at it or not good with advice. Cheers, W.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Firstly "gee thanks!!" xx Secondly I was going to ask what a person from Gladstone is called but I erred on the side of caution instead 😄~ Indy, playing it safe - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E'Firstly "gee thanks!!" xx Secondly I was going to ask what a person from Gladstone is called but I erred on the side of caution instead 😄~ Indy, playing it safe - Posted from rhpmobile Mmmm I wonder too? Gay Rockers? (glad, stone, pretty poor, sorry) Quoting 'Araps' MissKay I'm guessing he was talking to your sister as he may not have had male friends to talk to that were too blokey to listen as lets face there are some guys that aren't great at it or not good with advice. Cheers, W. It's not that he was talking to my sister that I'm questioning, I'm asking why "generally" men don't do emotional conversations with other men. (Present company excluded of course) And I hadn't considered that Sir Lurk, but I think there is an element of truth in him pulling a sympathy card.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi MissKay, depends on his mates I would imagine. If all he got was a pat on the back and a beer passed to him, then he may have been genuine. Choosing your sister to talk to may have been because she could explain your position better than others. I am only guessing though. Either way, in my books its a bit of a trespass into your personal territory after a split. I have encountered this phenomenon with girls too, that if I have ended the relationship, they have approached my mates for explanations, sometimes receiving more physical comforting than just consolation. Some men operate under the banner of "Honour amongst thieves". Not my sort of mateship code & it sorted out who my friends were & weren't. Others have really stood by me though, and had my back when it counted.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"I'm asking why "generally" men don't do emotional conversations with other men. (Present company excluded of course)" No I was told by one of the wives that he got a right royal serving by the 'blokes' about his behaviour, lets just say monogamy wasn't a strong point for him. (They have regular 'Top Gear' nights) I am in no way concerned that he spoke to my sister, he is from another country and his friendships are very limited to my mates. I'm perfectly OK with him needing to speak to people, be it my sister or my bestie, which he often does. And I'm glad he has that outlet, people need to be heard when they hurt. No trespassing, all OK. I guess I just answered my own question that he got a serving and perhaps he didn't want to hear it and maybe my sister & bestie are more forgiving? (or as Sir Lurk put it, more sympathetic) Quoting 'Unrushed1'I have encountered this phenomenon with girls too, that if I have ended the relationship, they have approached my mates for explanations, sometimes receiving more physical comforting than just consolation. That is not OK on any level. And yes, it is times like this that you find out who your true friends are. But I go back to my original question of why men can't talk emotions with each other. (Trying to stay on topic)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissKay' "I'm asking why "generally" men don't do emotional conversations with other men. (Present company excluded of course)" But I go back to my original question of why men can't talk emotions with each other. (Trying to stay on topic) If you ever have the chance to read/listen to it, get a copy of Dennis Leary's "Why we suck"... whilst it is funny it is also scarily true in oh so many ways.And one of the sad truths is that nearly all men in Australia are brought up to hide their feelings behind a rough burly exterior. We are taught by our fathers, by others in the school grounds and by the things we watch on TV and in the movies that you have to be tough and if you aren't tough then you are "gay", a "wuss", a "girl"... and whilst this is a horrid thing to think and say it is unfortunately the way it is.Not sure what others have experienced however many guys I know from other countries, for example European countries or America (not so much the southern states), the expression of emotions and the ability to share those emotions is more common in their culture and thus more common for the males to practice.So, the reason why men don't talk to other men is simple, we are conditioned NOT to have soft and fluffy feelings and if we do have them we are NOT to share them. To say I hurt is to show weakness which is to "Not be a man".What you will probably find is that most guys who can and do express their feelings were possibly loners at school, who had more female friends than male, may have had a missing father figure growing up, experienced some childhood trauma or a combination of any of the above.It has been speculated by some that part of the reason why men don't live as long as women is because we don't express our feelings... and when you think about it that makes sense... pent up emotions cause anger, doubt and confusion that will raise blood pressure, cause suicide and other indirect health issues (it is amazing what a good cry does for tension release... nearly as good a sex!). Also if a man is in pain he is taught to "suck it up" and thus is less likely to go to a doctor for help and thus fatal medical conditions go unattended.During my separation from my wife none of my male friends wanted to talk (suck it up was a common theme) and so the only support I received was from female friends. Unfortunately a few of those female friends stopped talking to me for their own reasons but thankfully I still have a few loyal ones with whom to share my feelings. (Thank god for women!).SG(second try at posting...)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Men are conditioned not to talk about their problems with each other. Why the hell NOT? Why is it your mates go all weird on you when you wanna have a D&M about something you're going through? What happens in "man's world" that makes it not kosher to emotionally lean on a mate? My ex-hubby sometimes talks to my bestie and I fully encourage it. He NEEDS to talk. Needs to have a "sounding board" abd I might also add a "brains trust" is also damn handy!! I think you guys really need to understand and accept that when a mate reaches out to you for help, by way of an ear to listen; it's not confronting or weak it's because your friend NEEDS someone to help/comfort/give perspective to/another viewpoint or just plain understanding. Is it that effing hard?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
How often have you read here''man up''...seems to be the RHP man mantra...NSA the other.....perhaps it is easier not to feel and sex becomes another self medicating process.Prey DancingWe poison our rivers,chop down our trees and truncate our emotional lives.It hurts to feel.Our branches of emotion and connectedness carefully prunedTrimmed back and bonsaied.We no longer feel our pulses race,our hearts beat,the white noise of ourFrantic lives blocks out the sound.We forget we are human,more than a body,More than a chemical cocktail.We briefly touch each others lives.Casual aquaintances,prey dancing
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey Amicus, that is all so true, that it hurts. There is no doubt men are hard wired differently from women, its frequently observable in childhood that boys have much more active energies to harness & channel than girls do. Women not only are culturally encouraged and supported to be expressive of their emotions with each other, but once a month, they are reminded to look internally, to feel viscerally, and be made aware of their bodies inner workings and the effects upon their moods, their feelings, their vulnerabilities, as their body cycles like the moon around the earth, like the pull of the moon's presence upon the tides. Men, apart from maybe in sex, do not connect with their bodies in such a way, rarely turn their eyes inwards and fo us on the subtleties, unless, say, they practice yoga, meditation, tai chi etc. And culturally, fuck, what can I say? We are classified into a binary system of manhood, being alpha or beta, winners or losers, leaders or followers. I will expand on archetypes later in this post, but there is little encouragement or support for men to be more than a man's man, and act out in the world as such. In tribal cultures, upon reaching a certain age, boys were heralded into manhood by acceptance, recognition and mentorship by the men in their communities, given new knowledge of how the world operates, and their expanded roles and responsibilities within their society and so ial structure. Here in Australia, we become old enough to gain entry into pubs, and go get pissed and act like clowns. Don't get me wrong, I fucking loved it, and had a ball. But looking back, there were vital elements of personal and social development missing that would have been very supportive and constructive to me at that time. I did get a man to man from my father, he said "You don't learn how to drive in a Rolls Royce, go find yourself a town bike". End of story. As far as archetypes for males go, models from which to aspire, Jung, for all his amazing insights into humans and psychology, gave the King, the Warrior, the Magician, the Lover. All impressive hero type characters with which to identify. But what about the Jester, the Bard, the Poet, or any others you could think of? It is still a reduction of an infinite kaleidoscope of possibility. Something akin to astrology would seem more appropriate, like the influence of each planet and their interactions with each other on 12 different aspects of your life and personality, inner & outer. Lets do some maths. 12 planets (maybe more) x 12 houses of influence= 144 x inner & outer selves = 288, throw in the moon and the sun = 576, x 12 squared with the planets interacting with each other = 82,944 possibilities. What do you want to be at any given moment in any situation? Choose from 83K options, or attempt to be an alpha rather than a beta? (Disclaimer: astrology used for illustration purposes only, I have no qualifications, and no need to correct any mathematical miscalculations. I'm sure you get my drift). Carolyn Myss has a list of masculine & feminine archetypes giving a vast array of possibilities with which to identify, both negative and positive including the addict, advocate, alchemist, angel, artist, athlete, avenger, beggar, bully, child (Orphan, Wounded, Magical/Innocent, Nature, Divine, Puer/Puella Eternis, or Eternal Boy/Girl), clown, companion, damsel, destroyer, detective, dilettante, Don Juan, engineer, exorcist, father, femme fatale, gambler, god, goddess, gossip, guide, healer, hedonist, hero/heroine, judge, king, knight, liberator, lover, martyr, mediator, mentor, messiah, Midas/miser, monk/nun, mother, mystic, networker, pioneer, poet, priest, prince, prostitute, queen, rebel, rescuer, saboteur, Samaritan, scribe, seeker, servant, shape-shifter, slave, storyteller, student, teacher, theif, trickster, vampire, victim, virgin, visionary, warrior. So, relating this back to men and self expressive abilities, there's nothing wrong with encouraging a man to be his best, a leader of the pack, but pressure to be an alpha male, in my opinion, also restricts their exploration into other archetypes and subtleties of their inner workings, and their conversation on such levels, let alone the identification of what's going on underneath that manly surface. Just a thought.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's beautiful. Thank you :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
What do you want to be at any given moment in any situation? Choose from 83K options, or attempt to be an alpha rather than a beta? Read this frequently, my man.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
"You don't learn to drive in a Rolls Royce, Find yourself a town bike." Your father was a wise man....I think??? But I wonder how the town bike saw herself as a result? (Sorrowfully shakes her head) as for everything else YOU said, brava!!! Men & Women have oodles of opportunities to be whatever or a collection of anything they choose. Free will is a wonderful thing when used....wisely or not it's only a lost opportunity if nothing is learnt from the experience.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is that your poem? Exceptional. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
The biggest part of talking is finding someone who knows how to really listen. With their heart. With intent. Without judgment. Without the burning need to offer unasked-for advice. Without the expectation that the talker will share your views, values or interpretations of life. And with tele patience and compassion to meet the talker where they're at - regardless of how you feel about it. Men (and women for that matter), if you want to open up the lines of communication may I suggest you develop the art (and gift) of knowing how to truly listen. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with Amicus75 on Oct 21 2013. I think that we have to much emphasis placed on the other person in the relationship to meet our needs in/out of bedroom. Your responsible in your life to meet your own needs and make yourself happy. Men have great things to offer. I am sick of finding the wounded Male from a traumatic relationship breakup and women treating them like shit whilst in that relationship and bashing men. Its a sad community out there when I talk to men that are single and discover they were ear bashed in the bedroom and put down. Give them a break. There all not porno stars....
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RHP User
11 years ago
@Indy- indeed, free willed opportunities abound, if the option is recognized and embraced. @Sun_Kissed- very pertinent post. I think men can be expressive should the conditions to be so exist. Sometimes it's just a sounding board, but skilled listening is, as you said, a true gift. @raspberryswirl- thanks for your post! I wonder if you googled how they make a porno if it would reveal that 15mins of complete jack hammering by a rock hard guy is actually 15 takes taken over a few days to get the lighting, angles etc right, with the poor guy involved cumming in 2 mins or going flaccid in between takes due to performance anxiety, or if he just shoots his cock up with cocaine. No harm done in trying to improve things in the bedroom if both partners are not satisfied, but sure, it needs to be approached sensitively and constructively. Personally, I think porno shot itself in the foot in its early days. Could have been done well, but it wasnt.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I decided to support my fellow man last night. After a very emotional time with 5 year old at the royal children's hospital I was heading home, and I went into a truckstop to have dinner, when I was met at the car window by a very untidy man indeed begging for some spare change to buy food. As I didn't have any on me, I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the poor bloke, so after finishing my smoke, I went in and ordered and just watched this man sit outside alone. This was just unacceptable. How could I sit and eat now?? So I ordered a takeaway container of the truckstop pasta, some veges and topped it off with some roast meat. I also bought a 500ml bottle of water. While my food was being cooked, I took this bloke out this take away container and water and gave it to him. The look of gratitude on his face was just priceless. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everyone's a poet, everybody seem's to think they have a good bead on things, everyone seem's to have a solution to everybody's problem's. The truth is it hurt's to feel...so we create barriers to safe guard ourselves, common sense don't you think? Discussing our emotion's does not bring about closure...there is no closure and you are only fooling yourself if you think that is the case...scars last a life time . Talking will make you feel good but does little else. ,You have to get passed your own mind to move forward, that's where the real battle begins and ends....xknots Keep on smiling
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RHP User
11 years ago
No one ever listens to me anyway...so what the fuck...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' The look of gratitude on his face was just priceless. Though he probably does it every night bloke, and eating better than u and I put together ...then goes home to his mantion in his BMW parked around the back of the truckies stop.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe....maybe not, but who am I to judge ?? I've been down that path, and if weren't for the generosity of others I'd have been quite hungry :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
sir lurkalot You are a legend of a man how nice of you...you have a heart and soul... well done did you ask him how he got in that predicament? I was overseas in Vancouver once and a homeless man came up to me to ask me for 50c for a cup of coffee. Then when he spoke he had an Australian accent. I gave him what I could and felt so sad for him that he was stuck in Canada and homeless. I almost wanted to give him my return airfare and help him back to Australia and altleast sleep on the Gold Coast beach. But I didnt I kept on with my journey of Canada but he is always in the back of my mind. I should of helped. Well done to help that guy out.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nahh....not my place to justify my actions by prying......sometimes it's better to not pry in my view, as for some they're already embarrassed enough, and they don't want pity. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I watched Charlotte's Web at five or six and balled my eyes out. That's when I knew I was a pussy. Then I learned you are what you eat. I grew up more and ended up a ward of the state. I now have hairy balls. I shave them sometimes. When I applied for the Army I freaked out so much I pulled all my pubes out one by one. It looked and felt great for weeks. When the state cut me loose with a violent view and a record I ran away to a hippie commune on the other side of the country. It was bare feet, dreadlocks, music, sex and conversations about all and nothing. It was here I had my first real job, paid rent every week and learned to be human and responsible. I came home and fell in love. We broke up and I got a career. I build stuff. I trained a lot, for many years, to hurt people's bods, but I haven't since 1999. I like to cook. I write poems. I draw cute little pictures and twirl fire and drink beer and argue. I like to love but I can rip you apart with words, hands, and my cock. I'd like to dress in drag just once for a laugh to see if I would like it. I'm a good lover and a great friend. I'm a sarcastic arsehole to stupid people for no reason other than my own amusement, and their development if they want to see it that way. I love combat. I love art. I love flowers and dancing and finding yourself at a gypsy carnival when you meant to go to a doof, but a little cardboard invitation to the other side was a ticket to seeing things differently. I love cigarettes, coffee and The Age. You tell me what it is to be a man and I will tell you to get fucked. Internally. It can only ever be your opinion. I don't care what it means to be a woman, they are only good for one thing, and that is being them.All I really mean is we are all different, so how about you just speak for yourself.RA
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one_for_the_road
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jason_Leslie' Well written Unrushed1. Now if only there were more guys like you on RHP. Thanks for sharing :) - Posted from rhpmobile Jason_Leslie,I think everyone would find there are actually a lot more guys on RHP like Unrushed1 who don't get their chance to show there true self, because single guys on here have kind of been tarnished by all the dickheads, and the fact that there's so many on here that it's hard for couples and single girls to really talk to all of them that send them a message! :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bloody legend.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The thing about talking through painful experiences or emotions is that it is an alternative to having it stuck inside your head doing loops around your brain. Maybe talking does not help, but feeling like you have a friend you can share things with that are deeply personal and painful is a bit of a salve in itself in my opinion. They say time heals all wounds, but what about the wounds that just fester away? Thats not healthy. As far as closure goes, some things don't ever have closure, and the journey is about coming to terms with what has happened live with a level of acceptance. For example, the loss of a child. If the parent never spoke about their grief, rage, frustration, anger, loss, powerlessness, hopelessness, sadness, regret, and the whirlwind of appropriate and understandable emotions, there is far less chance of them coming to terms with it. Something of that magnitude will never go away, but the opportunity does exist to work through it so that it affects their life in less and less negative ways. A note about WHO to share personal and painful things with. I have lots of friends who's company I enjoy. I can go out to see a band on my own, and run into 20 people I'd like to catch up with, some of them being as close as family to me over the years. I'm sure I have many people who would be willing to listen to me and console me if I chose to confide my emotions to them. However, there are only 2 or 3 people in the world with whom I would share my deepest levels of pain and struggles with. A few examples of what I may receive from others: Mum: "oh, my poor baby" followed by her own crisis and attempts at advice and intervention, weeks of worry, and the need to get constant follow ups to ease her anxiety- not too helpful Dad: outrage, followed by "not much you can do about it, son" - not too helpful Some friends: "I'm so sorry for you" followed by awkward silence, and me left wondering what they now think of me, that I'm a victim, and if they will talk to other people about my sensitive predicament- not too helpful Other friends: "Maaaate, don't let it worry you"- not too helpful My chosen confidantes will listen to me, empathize, give reflective feedback and different perspectives, tell me of other people they know who have faced similar situations and how they dealt with it, followed by normal interaction with me, that lets me know that I am always going to be the same person they have always known and loved, not a guy in crisis who's new situation defines him, and all future interactions. -very helpful. Hope I have explained that well enough, but yes, a willingness to go there is the first condition, the second being WHO may be the best person to share things with. I don't assume to know anything about you, & that may or may not suit, but that's how I see things, that its best to be selective lest it adds to the problem.
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RHP User
11 years ago
'lest'- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Glad to hear you are grabbing the bull by its horns and cutting your own path. Criticism warranted, as not all men will identify with everything or anything I have written. If you want to add more of your own perspectives here to generate more discussion, feel free.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Indeed you are right. I joined RHP from AMM simply because of the forum, and I am a not so closet forum addict. Gives a good outlet for my thoughts that I wouldn't otherwise get to express in my day to day life. For all that I post on the forums, I still have the same issues as you with messaging people and getting a reply or being taken seriously. That's one of the reasons I chose my name, you need a lot of patience to get laid! ;-)
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
The likes of SL, Unrushed, RA...thank you for your posts on this topic... it so refreshing to read the different opinions and beliefs that highlight just how gorgeous you men can be!
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inspirit
11 years ago
Very Refreshing. Great Post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are too kind. :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Does anyone remember the beer add where the woman is sitting in a spa, looking sensuously indulgent, and out of the blue, her man takes a running leap through the air, curling his knees up to his chest, bombing into the spa, shakes the water vigoirously from his hair as he resurfaces, and in one fluid movement demonstrating oneness of mind, body and spirit, cracks open and swigs on a beer before the last drops of water from his hair hits the floor? The woman next to him has her jaw gaping flabbergasted, to which he looks at her and says innocently, "What?". Would love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of male behaviour, lest this thread goes dead ;-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'knots' Quoting 'sirlurkalot' The look of gratitude on his face was just priceless. Though he probably does it every night bloke, and eating better than u and I put together ...then goes home to his mantion in his BMW parked around the back of the truckies stop.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'WildSong' Quoting 'knots' Maybe...... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
There was a guy up in Newcastle that lived by choice as a beggar, but would go home to his inherited family mansion. My guess is they are few and far between though. Benefit of the doubt is certainly warranted IMO.
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RHP User
11 years ago
would be remarkable if a man over seventy was still able to spa-bomb...a man of twenty -three...not so remarkable....if I was the woman in the spa,my reaction to the separate scenarios would indeed be different...from...ooooh that was amazing...to..bloody nong
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1'Does anyone remember the beer add where the woman is sitting in a spa, looking sensuously indulgent, and out of the blue, her man takes a running leap through the air, curling his knees up to his chest, bombing into the spa, shakes the water vigoirously from his hair as he resurfaces, and in one fluid movement demonstrating oneness of mind, body and spirit, cracks open and swigs on a beer before the last drops of water from his hair hits the floor? The woman next to him has her jaw gaping flabbergasted, to which he looks at her and says innocently, "What?". Would love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of male behaviour, lest this thread goes dead ;-) When it's a bunch of blokes being blokes. I'm happy to watch from the sidelines and marvel at the testosterone flying around and the seemingly absent brain cells. I recall some late-night shenanigans with a bunch of drunk guys trying to leap frog lit citronella lanterns. Someone burnt the crutch of their jeans out and singed their wobbly bits. I was literally on the floor laughing. Fun to watch, but I don't want to be up close and central to the silliness. The spa scenario would annoy me (unless it somehow resembled foreplay ;) ).
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RHP User
11 years ago
Freya, I may only be a middle aged man, but did I mention my career as a former Olympic diver? (PS- score. Me: 1, Autocorrect: 0. No, I am not a Middle Ages man!)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you think you could draw me a picture of testosterone flying around the room. Having trouble with the visuals :-D
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was in a shopping mall waiting for a smoothie...a man standing next to me asked me if he could pay for my drink...immediately I said''yes of course''...he then thanked me for being able to do his good deed for the day...I enjoyed the smoothie and he enjoyed the pleasure of giving....It is really about the giver,not so much about the recipient....and I remember that last Xmas,Sir Lurk said that he buys and gives to a perfect stranger a single white rose x R
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RHP User
11 years ago
Picture this. Some chest beating. Some grunts. Acts of immense stupidity masquerading as toughness. Lots of running around and shouting but nothing to really show for all the effort. Kinda like watching an AFL game but without the talent or the manscaping :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting Sin_Kissed: " Kinda like watching an AFL game but without the talent or the manscaping :)" GOLD! :-D
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes please!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Freudian slip.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
There was a young woman looking anxious standing outside the bottle-o yesterday constantly looking at her watch... Quoting 'Freya77'I was in a shopping mall waiting for a smoothie...a man standing next to me asked me if he could pay for my drink...immediately I said''yes of course''...he then thanked me for being able to do his good deed for the day...I enjoyed the smoothie and he enjoyed the pleasure of giving.... It is really about the giver,not so much about the recipient....and I remember that last Xmas,Sir Lurk said that he buys and gives to a perfect stranger a single white rose x R On my way out I asked her if she needed a lift somewhere? She'd been waiting an hour for a taxi mid-afternoon!! Jeezus Christ this town is shit....24 cabs, 2 maxi taxis and they still don't have enough on the road in the daylight hours even!! Anyway, she was in the direction I had just come from and wasn't going BUT I took her to her door anyway......if we all did one good turn a day you'd be surprised at how much better the someone else's life may become as well as yours for doing it..... ~ Indy On Safari and PAYING IT FORWARD
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RHP User
11 years ago
Paying it forward..? Well - the young lass would most likely have not accepted a lift from me, as she would have assumed ulterior motives - that's the way society is these days unfortunately. However, watch the movie "Barney's Version" in defense of men, and to show how ridiculous our scruples and preconceivedideas about relationships are - how the societal imposition of monogamy as the only "normal" way of life can ruin it for a family...
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RHP User
11 years ago
This ones for you Indy & SL. YouTube: Random Acts of Kindness Caught on Security Cameras all over the world !
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him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' This ones for you Indy & SL. YouTube: Random Acts of Kindness Caught on Security Cameras all over the world ! Wasn't there an ad for Cola (or something) that started out showing the same kind of things. Hmmm... probably should have researched that before I posted. x Me
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Just watched a few: "Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you." Princess Diana (God Bless Her) - Posted from rhpmobile
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