RHP

RHP User

M46

Messages that are read and no reply...

November 28 2019

Morning, I am not sour or bitter, just rather curious. Why is it that people read messages and no replies? I get it that women get swamped in here, but what has happened to some courtesy? I take the time to read the profile, construct a nice message, and even suggest, that if i am not for you please reply with a quick no thanks. easy. I know you can create a template reply for a quick and easy reply, so curious to see if this is widespread, or just me. thanks

Comments

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    To Casanova I read your profile too. well actually just saw the profile pic ..... and thought... I’ve got no chance here.... lol.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Fun times... Why do you say that?? The thing about people is that everyone brings something to the mix that someone else may not.... A ripped looking body isn’t any guarantee that he is what EVERY woman seeks.... Mr dragon

  • Casanov

    Casanov

    5 years ago

    Ahaha Funtimes I take that as a fun compliment, and thabk you for saying that. But I think dragon is right, i actually get some of hate as well, and I am the most chilled person ever. But yeah at the same time whn a girl needs to judge only a few pics among thousands private messages, it can be hard, I know exaclty how it feels eheh;) online dating can be very superficial, I agree with you!

  • Casanov

    Casanov

    5 years ago

    @sweetas_j they never met you in person (especially with the tan now...) forgive 'em;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    We don't reply to no profile pictures or pictures of just Dicks etc. If they hey we don't bother sti.ulate us with a message ask us about is what we do what we want how you liked our profile etc.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I actually can't reply to messages as I'm a guest member. If I had the money, I would upgrade so I can respond.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    We're over trying to reply to people that we aren't interested in, when you try and politely decline you're often bombarded with questions like why not, so what if im outside your age range why does that matter, you must be fake etc and some cases verbally abused, happens all the time. We don't need to justify ourselves to people we have never met that clearly don't fit what we're looking for.

  • insert_name_here

    insert_name_here

    5 years ago

    I think what’s worse is when you receive a generic message on kik which has clearly been sent to a group of past and future playmates advising that you’ve been sacked from your job and are shutting down your kik account If you’ve never sent one of those, you can probably pose questions around courtesy

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'loversinsync' I actually can't reply to messages as I'm a guest member. If I had the money, I would upgrade so I can respond. You don't need to be a member to reply to messages, only to iniate a message. So therefore, flirts you cannot respond to but knock yourself out answering messages.

  • SassyLilLou

    SassyLilLou

    5 years ago

    As a guest, you can send, and respond to flirts, plus respond to messages 👍🏽Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' Quoting 'loversinsync' I actually can't reply to messages as I'm a guest member. If I had the money, I would upgrade so I can respond. You don't need to be a member to reply to messages, only to iniate a message. So therefore, flirts you cannot respond to but knock yourself out answering messages.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Unfortunately some people have no respect. Guess its karmic too. There are people out there that meet, fuck n don't reply too.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'SassyLilLou' As a guest, you can send, and respond to flirts, plus respond to messages 👍🏽Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' Quoting 'loversinsync' I actually can't reply to messages as I'm a guest member. If I had the money, I would upgrade so I can respond. You don't need to be a member to reply to messages, only to iniate a message. So therefore, flirts you cannot respond to but knock yourself out answering messages. I think l said just that.....Except for the respond to a flirt bit. If you wanna keep flirting each other. Rub one out whilst doing so admidst all the excitement.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Casanova Yeah was a little tongue in cheek, but I am a complete newbie to online dating having come out of a LTR. TBH - I was never much good at the dating scene anyways, having a series of monogamous relationships of varying lengths interspersed by periods of singleness. So this is a brave new frontier for me and it, well, seems, possibly, a more difficult platform to be able to get to the point of actual physical contact than by chance meet or introduction by circle of friends /work etc. However, you do get the opportunity to screen and evaluate based on your needs, their needs, distance etc. But it is the new reality and one I am getting used to, but I do think there is still a large element of luck or timing that regulated the pre online dating scene. I wonder if your physical attractiveness is comes across as being a barrier for some female members? And that you are preconceived or pidgeonholed based on appearance ? As with anything though unless messages are opened and read the ‘soul’ of a person will never be revealed.

  • make_me_scream

    make_me_scream

    5 years ago

    When i first set my profile up it had over 500 views in 4 days, so you can imagine how many messages and flirts came along with that. I was so overwhelmed i actually changed my photos & hid my profile. I just didn’t have time to deal with it to be honest. I didn’t even have time to read all the messages, let alone peruse the profiles & write a response. There were also some messages i intended to come back to, but simply didn’t find the time. Managing my profile would have been a full-time job if i was going to take the time to respond to every message. I am sorry if i offended anyone who sent me a message & they didn’t get a response. I also need to mention though... some guys sent 10 flirts & 10 messages in a short space of time, this behaviour was way too full-on & i simply didn’t want to engage with these people at all. I think you will find most people who don’t respond are not deliberately trying to be rude or disrespectful. 🙂

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Some courtesy would be nice. I understand if women don't reply to a message that just one word like "Hey" but when it's a longer message, perhaps just a "no thanks" would go a long way

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    You just have to learn to expect that women do receive a lot of messages on here especially when the witch hour arrives. I used to use my five messages a day and would get multiple views but no reply. I just put it down to I'm not what they are looking for or there is a distance concern. I wouldn't get stressed over it this is all a patience game!!

  • altan

    altan

    5 years ago

    We’re all grown ups and this is a site for grown ups it’s free to reply with a thanks but no thanks or with an anti flirt But people forget that a lot of us end up at the same clubs or the same parties and can make for an awkward night it doesn’t even matter if it’s a no most here aren’t looking for something lasting we just want to know wether to bother to approach..... so little courtesy goes a long way and isn’t so hard

  • Cunnilingenius

    Cunnilingenius

    5 years ago

    Rude and stuck up

  • Casanov

    Casanov

    5 years ago

    Funtimes I agree with exaclty everything you said, very well structured message, and I was exaclty like you, monogamous by design I had to adapt myself. For me, just as a principle, it is wrong and unrespectful to talk to an attached girl, that to say how hard it was for me to evolve in more open minded fashion. To all the people that say no answer is a "no", I absolutely disagree. People get busy, they take breaks, they can be overwhelmed, and they might not have seen your message. I messaged people in the past with no answer. I Messaged them again for other reasons and got a very good positive response leading to us meeting most of the time. So a response to every message would be very much appreciated, so people can move on. If this topic is coming up again and again I do not understand why people cannot make a very little effort to fix it, given it is a clear pain point for most single men. On the other side, men, just embrace rejection, it is part of life. I have been rejected thousands of times eheh. I am going to reach out to rhp today and ask to add a simple button "not interested" in the message section...

  • Kokoflamingo

    Kokoflamingo

    5 years ago

    Not at all. If I have specified Im looking for non smoking single guys and a married smoker messages me then theres no point in replying.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I have had lots of messages where I’m a guest member and I want to reply but can not, even ones in date finder. My ph number is on my profile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I’ll add my 5 cents in. I am not consistent. Sometimes I reply sometimes I don’t. Those I reply to, are those who meet my search croteria but I just don’t like them. Those I don’t reply, are those who don’t meet my search criteria. My search criteria is clearly stated in my profile. And if a guy or a couple has no decent hand respect to read it and leave me alone if they don’t fit in, then why should I bother replying to them showing my respect to them if I didn’t get the same from them? On another note - literally today and yesterday I copped so much abuse from 2 guys who I politely said no to. I could not believe it. Would I bother replying from now on? Don’t think so. So next time when you (and everyone else) get frustrated about not receiving an answer, think about what I wrote in my reply. Everyone wants to be respected and treated nicely.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Apart from the paragraphs about who you don’t want. (And fair enough) There’s not much else to go on ? Apart from cock size.

  • CYP450_XTC

    CYP450_XTC

    5 years ago

    If somebody isn’t interested how hard is it to reply “no thanks” that’s it nothing else. I find it really thoughtless and rude. The no reply means no is pretty disheartening if you ask me. I rather someone just to come straight out with it. Then you know how it is, okay no problem move on!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I find it really rude actually. Someone writes to you, asks for access to your PG in return for access to theirs... so you give them access & politely say "would you mind letting me know if you're interested or not?"- only to get no reply whatsoever. Little wonder people here are so cynical when it comes to contact with others. I had it recently where exactly the above happened, and after a couple of days I contacted this person & said "Can I assume you're not interested?" - and get blocked. FFS it's not difficult to say "Sorry - you're not my type. Good luck" or words to that effect. Little wonder I've become the cynical old prick that I am. LOL

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    5 years ago

    If someone emails me first up to open my gallery. It is a red flag especially if I have face pics for all to see and if they have not any in theirs or actually no gallery pics just a torso profile pic. Call me cynical, but that's so dodgy as F*ck and kinda rude. Why would anyone want to reply and waste their time to pic collector? Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    5 years ago

    If one has not replied, that is a non verbal expression of a no. So why even send a 2nd email stating, "Can I assume you're not interested?". You've "assumed" yourself and received an answer as well seeking validation from them in support of you not getting an answer. Sort like seeking reassurance from them. Put the Shoe on the other foot receiving that 2nd email one would think it's kinda being pushy. It is kinda not always one sided. Expectations has a lot to do with it. Ms Foxy

  • honkytonk

    honkytonk

    5 years ago

    sometimes its an exercise in futility sending a well written message espousing one's virtues whilst still maintaining an air of humility. yep, most of em dont get opened let alone read. based on this premise, lately i've just been messaging the word 'boo' with a kiss on the end and access to my pg. suprisingly i get more replies with that. soooooooooo you all tell me what that tells you. (last statement is rhetorical)

  • needsomelovin81

    needsomelovin81

    5 years ago

    I actually can’t reply to messages unless I pay up

  • bendifun

    bendifun

    5 years ago

    I’m out of of days worth of msgs so can’t send you one unless you can reply first to my last one

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'honkytonk' sometimes its an exercise in futility sending a well written message espousing one's virtues whilst still maintaining an air of humility. yep, most of em dont get opened let alone read. based on this premise, lately i've just been messaging the word 'boo' with a kiss on the end and access to my pg. suprisingly i get more replies with that. soooooooooo you all tell me what that tells you. (last statement is rhetorical) I think thats a smart move. It's simple, cute and kind of funny and sharing pics establishes attraction quickly. Without that no sweeping novel of a first message will go anywhere and will be a waste of time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    It's a massively common thing - electronic 'ghosting' in a way - to never reply to messages even when the intent was genuine and not rude/foul. As a guy I never get to see the gamut of contacts that female members on this or other dating sites receive so it's really hard to put a handle on it. Us guys are the big losers in all online dating exploits. Sad but true. My personal rule is that anyone who replies to my messages of introduction will receive a short but courteous 'thankyou' message if the reply I get is an obvious knockback 'sorry I'm not interested' (either stated explicitly like that or using indirect intent) where I I'll say something like 'thanks for your honest and genuine reply. I hope you also find someone really nice' and then that's the end of the communication with that person (or couple). Sadly, that's 99.9 percent of all replies received, but I find that at least 50 percent of people I might contact with a genuine introduction message never reply. Which probably implies that a significant portion of profiles on dating sites (including this one) are fakes.

  • honkytonk

    honkytonk

    5 years ago

    i just 'booed' you hahaha

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    5 years ago

    A clever twist . Boo - Ghosts say boo. Was this part of a cunning double entendre plan to combat possible ghosting?Who is ghosting who?

  • honkytonk

    honkytonk

    5 years ago

    ze inbox was locked and ze boo message couldnt get through

  • hungdave1982

    hungdave1982

    5 years ago

    Same here. Be good if there was a way us free loaders could message each other :) Maybe there could be a forum for swapping klk or snp chat names? Might be against the rules though

  • periwinkle20

    periwinkle20

    5 years ago

    I’m completely new to this but if it was me, I think I’d want a reply, good or bad. And I follow that rule when people build up the courage to message me. You have the freedom to say no so why not do it respectfully??

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