M53 F53
No kissing and no single men
August 03 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
everyone should view their interactions in the same light as you guys?? Or am I sadly mistaken as to what it is that you're asking?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree about the kissing and making it just a base act. Although I have come across couples with no jealousy and have no real boundaries as they are into lots of things but still have the no kissing rule. I personally would not be with anybody if kissing was out. I need a more sensual experience to warm me up... if you know what I mean.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think some rules are more to protect the couple and their relationship and isn't necessary about jealousy. And that is fair enough.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I personally think its hot seeing my wife kissing a guy while she fucks them but I am also a very giving & sharing person that has given my wifes number to guys only to find on numerous occasions that as soon as they can txt & flirt with her they no longer feel the need to txt me anymore. When I txt them they take their time replying to me & only give me short & sharp reply's< maybe 3 or 4 words at most, but when my wife shows me the txt they sent her they are extensive & very in depth. Not just straight guys either, ive had it happen with Bi guys that seemed to have plenty of sexting to do with me until they had her number. So I can totally understand the no txt rule as it can bring about jealous feelings that weren't there until the husband feels ignored & discarded.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Personally, for us, if kissing were out, forget about it - that's all part of the fun ;) I get why some people would have those rules though, it's like any couple's rules. This is how they play, and outside of that, no. While we might not agree with it, that's their business.
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Taby_DK
9 years ago
We have have been swinging for a number of years before and until recently had never come across this issue. We started chatting to an attractive couple and things where going well, to the stage where we had exchanged phone numbers and after texting a bit we casually got into a discussion on limits and no-go's when playing. The first limit this couple had was no kissing, yet they where completely ok with not using condoms and said they where 100% cool with Mr cuming inside the female half of their couple?! We are very very strict on having safe sex when we play, so we where just sort of left gob smacked that a couple was happy to have unprotected sex yet won't allow kissing. For us kissing is part of the whole experience and it's just not possible for us to have sex without it even between ourselves. So after being left utterly shocked we politely informed them that sorry we can't have sex without kissing and that we wouldn't be able to meet them... The unprotected sex part was also a big deal breaker but in this case we just found their reasoning to be a little confusing... Taby xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
.....Whoa. That... um. I don't have words for that. Probably just as gobsmacked as you were!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think the no kissing rule comes from trying to control something about that interaction. It's a controlling behaviour. As you are already having sex and very 'vulnerable' to any other action, kissing would be that one thing you have to respect, defying your senses in order to control that relationship so it doesn't get out of their normative range. As kissing is universally applied in sexual relations, you would undoubtedly have a loss, which will lead you to compromise and either fall under their rules of respect or defy it and be excluded, giving them the satisfaction of control and power in both cases. In technical terms, it's a silly rule :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I guess.... But to be totally honest, when it comes to couples play for us, fussy doesn't even cover it.... Have to tick so many boxes first and kissing is right up there, the sensuality, letting yourself be lost in the passionate moment ,soft beautiful lips, just enough moisture, tongues playfully dancing, oh yum!! ..And no single men??? IMO that's a bit harsh... They can be so much fun 😝 My thoughts are, Perhaps its a boundary that some people use to make it less personal.... But playing with your other bits are fine? If putting your tongue in my mouth is out, you have no chance of putting it anywhere else.... Yep I would have moved on also... TG :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
It is perplexing when you look at the way many people behave, with strange and weird rules. For many sex is almost ritualistic, procedures and dogma rule what can and can not... NO should never be done, because if the rules break down then so will life and happiness. birds will sleep with birds and bees will become annoying pricks. Or something similar. You try to explain that sex is just human playfulness, it is not sacred, there are no rules. You do it to enjoy your self with others of the same ilk. Oh and then the buts come in, "but this" and "but that." Oh please. Its at this stage that I fall back to how I deal with the frustration of combating flawed logic. The state of humanity is divided into two groups, it has always been so and will always stay so. Half of all the people in this world are of below average inelegance. They will never understand so many things, you can not drum it into them, they just don't have the wiring too. And the really annoying part of this human dichotomy is the ones that are below are so sure they are the ones above, and the ones above are so acutely aware of their own stupidity and think what are they missing. For me some one that says No kissing is someone that has just invited me out of the party. I love kissing, I can not have sex with out kissing, its like saying, lets have sex but you can not fuck me. I am over explaining it to them, its futile. The good thing about half the people being to dumb to understand is that half the world is full of very interesting people with depth, and lots of great playful fucking fun. So OP dont try to understand, you are lucky you have a brain, you will never find logic in some people. Just take such rules as a sign that don't bother, they are not interesting and not worth your very precious time. Oh dear I have waffled again.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Why dont couples put that on their profile????.....along with the texting We as a couple see texting as a vital part of match making. It allows a person to feel out the prospective playmate well before the meet. It also builds the sexual tension leading into the meet. To not communicate with someone you are potentially going to have sex with increases the chances of awkwardness, and a possible walkout. Every single couple or single guy we have played with has been a wonderful experience and i put that down to "screening" which is via texts. We have cancelled a few meets because of the quality of texts............and thank god we did, as the prospective play mate was not compatible with us. It would have been horrendous to have found that out in a hotel room. Also we have had very few no shows over the years and again im sure the texting has contributed towards that. We always decline when the answer to the no text rule is to avoid jealousy issues. If texting has the potential to cause jealousy then the risk is sex would be even more troublesome. The cavet to all this is yes couples can make their own rules, no problem there, but to avoid time wasting and improve match making they would help everyone if these rules were advertised.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is incredibly intimate.It connects you to the other like nothing else..That is why they don't want to kiss you,they don't want either one of them to form a deep connection..This is about fear...or maybe they are just crap at kissing 😘😘😘😘xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think most understandably start with a safety mechanism which relaxes the more they swing and the more they develop a liking for the "sport"! - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Hi, i have felt the same as you on the odd occasion. The problem was easily rectified when my wife included me in most of the texts. That way it was more inclusive and sent the message to the other guy that the meet was to include all parties and it also put the other guy at ease knowing what i like and what type of people we are. If the other guy shied away from my inclusion in the texts then the meet would be cancelled.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
sorry.....getting use to the lay out . That response was to fuckher4me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Your post sounds rather judgmental to me. Quoting 'social_suicide'Why do couples that have obvious issues such as jealousy, swim in the RHP pool???........shouldn't everyone who is playing be free of jealousy and enjoy intimacy?....... Why would something have to be wrong with couples who choose this way of playing, and why should they have to act the way you and others expect of them? "Obvious issues"? Where? I've come across plenty of couples who save kissing only for their partner because it's part of a special bond between them they like to keep for themselves. As for the texting: I message with couple in group texts, so we're all included. It actually improves our feeling of closeness, and none of us ever have to think twice about anyone feeling left out. Every couple has their rules, and even according to your post they make clear it's to avoid potential jealousy. I think it's a good thing to discuss potential problems before entering the swinging lifestyle. You can always extend your boundaries when you gain more experience and are more confident feelings won''t get in the way. For me no kissing and not being penetrated by the guy are deal-breakers, but that's my preference. If these limits are discussed beforehand, though I will decline, I will think a couple has their act together. It was when a wife in the middle of things started to complain about what her husband was doing to me that I took issue. This couple had not discussed the details of the encounter at all and were unaware of each other's limits. Now that's what I see as an issue.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Kissing can be so sensual, it's an integral part of any fun sensual sex. It's natural human instinct. I've been the third wheel a few times and thankfully the issue has never arisen...... Having said that, if you are being invited to join others I believe you have to respect the boundaries they set, and if the boundaries don't work for you then obviously that will be the end of the contact
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TimeToPlayAus
9 years ago
No kissing is a dealbreaker. And bad kissing is a definite minus... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Agreed - we'd much rather someone specify their preferences (even if we disagree) upfront rather than be completely worked up and then be told in the midst of things that something is off-limits. Ugh!
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Two_Tarts
9 years ago
Everyone has a right to their own comfort zone, likes, and dislikes. They might not fit with ours and so we may not choose to join them on their particular journey, but that does not essentially make either of us right or wrong....just different! We both looovvee making out and would not seriously contemplate sex unless the kissing had us wanting more. For both of us it is an essential part of the connection and enticement and so if someone doesn't kiss, or their kiss leaves us wanting less, then we really wouldn't be going further. But if others can manage the process without the kissing and choose to save that thing for their primary relationship then good on them whatever their reasons may be.....either way it is awesome that they are strong enough to share any element of their relationship and sex with others because most of our society is far too insecure to do any of the things that we might openly accept here.
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RHP User
9 years ago
When a couple doesn't permit kissing (on the lips), I just make sure that I am at least allowed to kiss her everywhere else :) But yes, I do feel that something is missing if I can't kiss the lady. But I understand some of the reasoning behind it, even though I don't necessarily agree. So obviously the "no kissing" is not always related to having "no single guys", as I've found out :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Agree, good sex should involve kissing. And couples involved in swinging should not have jealous insecurities. So that's my opinion and it's also your opinion. This doesn't make it a universal opinion. Their opinion is just as valid as yours - so move onto to the next person/couple that shares the same ideals.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Quoting "social_suicide" : " As a couple we have come across many couples that dont allowing kissing." We have been on RHP for a few years now, as paid up members and now as guests, and in this time we have never come across a couple profile on here, that has specified that they dont allow kissing. Studies done, have shown that many people view kissing as something very intimate, even more intimate than sex, and that strangely enough, these same people see kissing as even more intimate than oral sex - ie they would prefer not to kiss but would not have a problem with oral sex. Most prostitutes don't kiss. Kissing also carries the risk of spreading a STI does it not ? Saliva is, after all, a vector for infection. We personally, feel that kissing is indeed more intimate, much more personal. Hard to explain why though. Perhaps the act of kissing (mouth to mouth) is more intimate because its part of ones head/face/eyes .. gateway to ones mind/soul ? But to then say that the couples who dont like to kiss, also dont want single men and to then try to draw some or other similarity, is grasping at straws. Perhaps some people are happy to share their bodies, but draw the line at the intimacy of kissing ? And does that make them wrong? jealous ? Insecure ? Absolutely not !! We are all entitled to our opinions and preferences, likes and dislikes. You then make another incorrect assumption : "These same couples always have a rule that texting between the male of one couple and the female of the other couple is not allowed to avoid jealousy issues " The golden rule of swinging, is for girls to talk to girls and guys to talk to guys. Its also very important, at least for us, that one always plays together, in the same room. We don't believe that jealousy has anything to do with it. We have these rules as we want to minimise the risks of something unpleasant happening and or developing. Men can become predators and for that reason we would never give out the female's number to the male of another couple .. lets be honest, guys are driven by their sexual desire and more than often they are the ones to hunt and or make that first move (hence the vast majority of rapes being committed by males) Why leave oneself open to being stalked ? Jealousy and insecurity has got nothing to do with it. We value our long term relationship & marriage and we plan to keep it a strong and loving one and to protect one another where possible. Reading between the lines, of your post, it would appear that you have a bone to pick with couples that don't kiss / couples that are not looking to play with single guys / couples that don't allow texting between the male of one and the female of the other. Now why would you have an issue with the above ? Unless you are not a couple ..... ? And then you state : " Why do couples that have obvious issues such as jealousy, swim in the RHP pool???........shouldn't everyone who is playing be free of jealousy and enjoy intimacy? " Yes, RHP is a swinging site, but that does not mean that everyone has to swing (swim in the pool) . No will always mean NO. No one is expected to play if they don't want to, nor to play with someone that they are not attracted to, nor to kiss anyone that they don' want to kiss. Clearly you have a culture of expectancy .... which is probably why you appear to be so fed up with the 'time wasters'
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
More than happy for people to have their own rules...... but the no-kiss one......I dont get it. The usual reason is along the lines of...... "we dont allow kissing...... because its too intimate"... ....but, you'll let another person stick their tongue up your arse.......?!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
However, we have never seen a cpl profile that states "no kissing" - but who cares if it dies, isnt it that cpls choice? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
My profile says exactly how I feel about it. Honesty is the best policy. I respect every persons view and know they are all valid opinions.
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
I love to kiss. It's a wonderful way to explore your connection with a person. And personally, if I don't have a connection with someone I'm not going to fuck them, so if they want to rule out kissing for me, they're going to be ruling out a whole lot of other things too.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Whenever I hear that said in this context I think people are talking about emotional, not physical, intimacy. For example, I personally feel that spooning is much more intimate than any sexual act. (A reason some swingers are happy for their partners to have sex with someone else at their house, but don't want them staying the night.)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander'some swingers are happy for their partners to have sex with someone else at their house, but don't want them staying the night.) At the other person's house.
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RHP User
9 years ago
LOL ML. But kissing and looking soulfully into someone's eyes is a bit different to looking at their .... brown eye. Oh dear sorry everyone. Couldn't help me self.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Is incredibly intimate.It connects you to the other like nothing else..That is why they don't want to kiss you,they don't want either one of them to form a deep connection..This is about fear...or maybe they are just crap at kissing 😘😘😘😘xxFreya Or could be a deliberate strategy in order to protect their relationship and their feelings Or it might be something intimate that they want to keep special between themselves.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Couples belittling other couples for having boundaries. 'Wouldn't want to be like you' Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide' Hi, i have felt the same as you on the odd occasion. The problem was easily rectified when my wife included me in most of the texts. That way it was more inclusive and sent the message to the other guy that the meet was to include all parties and it also put the other guy at ease knowing what i like and what type of people we are. If the other guy shied away from my inclusion in the texts then the meet would be cancelled. I'm talking about normal everyday texting after the meet
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RHP User
9 years ago
I knew a lady who was a Prostitute in a 'Classy' brothel and she refused to kiss her clients... (Before the comments, I will add that I had a Security business and used to do a 'Lock Up' for her each Evening/Morning). Her answer to my enquiry about the 'No Kissing' policy was: "I want to keep something special for my man". In that context, I DO tend to understand the motivation and the reason...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Isn't a human trait to judge others by our own standards? The boundaries of others may seem to lack merit or reason from our own perspective. We should however accept these and be non-critical, lest our own be. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sasha4antonio
9 years ago
PERFECTLY said I couldn't agree more. Antonio and I were discussing this today over the phone and he is in the NO kissing team I can't concur as like you I feel it is such an integral part of the foreplay and if you have a problem with it then you should NOT be swinging. Needless to say I ALWAYS KISS 💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' Quoting "social_suicide" : " As a couple we have come across many couples that dont allowing kissing." We have been on RHP for a few years now, as paid up members and now as guests, and in this time we have never come across a couple profile on here, that has specified that they dont allow kissing. Studies done, have shown that many people view kissing as something very intimate, even more intimate than sex, and that strangely enough, these same people see kissing as even more intimate than oral sex - ie they would prefer not to kiss but would not have a problem with oral sex. Most prostitutes don't kiss. Kissing also carries the risk of spreading a STI does it not ? Saliva is, after all, a vector for infection. We personally, feel that kissing is indeed more intimate, much more personal. Hard to explain why though. Perhaps the act of kissing (mouth to mouth) is more intimate because its part of ones head/face/eyes .. gateway to ones mind/soul ? But to then say that the couples who dont like to kiss, also dont want single men and to then try to draw some or other similarity, is grasping at straws. Perhaps some people are happy to share their bodies, but draw the line at the intimacy of kissing ? And does that make them wrong? jealous ? Insecure ? Absolutely not !! We are all entitled to our opinions and preferences, likes and dislikes. You then make another incorrect assumption : "These same couples always have a rule that texting between the male of one couple and the female of the other couple is not allowed to avoid jealousy issues " The golden rule of swinging, is for girls to talk to girls and guys to talk to guys. Its also very important, at least for us, that one always plays together, in the same room. We don't believe that jealousy has anything to do with it. We have these rules as we want to minimise the risks of something unpleasant happening and or developing. Men can become predators and for that reason we would never give out the female's number to the male of another couple .. lets be honest, guys are driven by their sexual desire and more than often they are the ones to hunt and or make that first move (hence the vast majority of rapes being committed by males) Why leave oneself open to being stalked ? Jealousy and insecurity has got nothing to do with it. We value our long term relationship & marriage and we plan to keep it a strong and loving one and to protect one another where possible. Reading between the lines, of your post, it would appear that you have a bone to pick with couples that don't kiss / couples that are not looking to play with single guys / couples that don't allow texting between the male of one and the female of the other. Now why would you have an issue with the above ? Unless you are not a couple ..... ? And then you state : " Why do couples that have obvious issues such as jealousy, swim in the RHP pool???........shouldn't everyone who is playing be free of jealousy and enjoy intimacy? " Yes, RHP is a swinging site, but that does not mean that everyone has to swing (swim in the pool) . No will always mean NO. No one is expected to play if they don't want to, nor to play with someone that they are not attracted to, nor to kiss anyone that they don' want to kiss. Clearly you have a culture of expectancy .... which is probably why you appear to be so fed up with the 'time wasters' So what are you essentially saying, you don't kiss? Sorry, I got lost along the way, I'm not sure if that's what you meant. Sex without kissing to me = go pay a hooker, just my opinion, but I'm sure an opinion shared by the majority of women, whether you accept that or not. There might be one or two women in the world who are happy to have sex without kissing, good luck finding them, and they probably charge by the hour. Anyway, that being said, yes everyone can choose how they want their encounters to play out, the point is, it needs to be clearly put into the profile, particularly a biggie like no kissing
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Couples belittling other couples for having boundaries. 'Wouldn't want to be like you' Mado Tara xx The main issue is that its not declared on the profile, so inevitably leads to time wasting. If "no kissing" was advertised this thread wouldn't exist as there would be no issue. Its the time wasting that has frustrated us . They can advertise "the no kissing" rule and find like minded couples to play with. Its all about match making which is why we all have profiles to show others what we like and don't like.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Then up in the box where it says sexual interests, as in your profile there is a kissing preference, if others don't have kissing then maybe they are not rolling with it. Even your profile is very limited with sexual interests. Kissing is only one dynamic with sex, very important with love making. If for us as an example being with another man in a threesome, if we don't all have a connection while we play together as a team it can become awkward, it's not so easy finding a guy that doesn't ultimately want Tara all to himself. We don't have a no kissing rule, but with a only play together rule it becomes very much the person we play with as too where boundaries are flexible.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Quoting I_touch_myself : "So what are you essentially saying, you don't kiss? " To answer your question, of course we kiss when we make love. Whether or not we kiss another couple, should we play with them, will depend on a number of things. " For example if they are smokers, we will avoid kissing them (we don't enjoy kissing ashtrays ) . If they have bad breath and/or rotten, stained, teeth, we wont kiss them. Of course at the end of the day, the choice to kiss or not to kiss is entirely up to the individuals. What we can all agree on, is that kissing is a very sensual thing and for this reason we feel that there needs to be some connection and attraction for us to kiss a stranger.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...can mean the world of difference to me. I can get so aroused just from a kiss alone, so personally I want kissing to be part of the sexual experience. But I also respect people's boundaries and if they choose not to kiss me I am left disappointed and yearning for more, but I won't pressure them into changing their mind...I just won't go back. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Taby_DK' We have have been swinging for a number of years before and until recently had never come across this issue. We started chatting to an attractive couple and things where going well, to the stage where we had exchanged phone numbers and after texting a bit we casually got into a discussion on limits and no-go's when playing. The first limit this couple had was no kissing, yet they where completely ok with not using condoms and said they where 100% cool with Mr cuming inside the female half of their couple?! We are very very strict on having safe sex when we play, so we where just sort of left gob smacked that a couple was happy to have unprotected sex yet won't allow kissing. For us kissing is part of the whole experience and it's just not possible for us to have sex without it even between ourselves. So after being left utterly shocked we politely informed them that sorry we can't have sex without kissing and that we wouldn't be able to meet them... The unprotected sex part was also a big deal breaker but in this case we just found their reasoning to be a little confusing... Taby xx__________________________________________________________________________ Sorry Tabby_DK, I hope this is not too personal and not my business. Please say so if that's the case...As far as the 'No Condoms' issue is concerned, I'm assuming that was a deal breaker for you anyway. But did this couple mean that all parties would be 'tested' beforehand, to enable the 'non-use' of condoms to be a safe thing, or were they suggesting just jumping in without any protection or tests at all?Thanks
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide'The main issue is that its not declared on the profile, so inevitably leads to time wasting. Why not be proactive and put it in yours? You say in your profile: "Good conversation, laughter, impeccable hygiene and manners are all important". Maybe add that you both love to kiss and are only looking for couples that do as well? I say in my profile that I'm all about touching and am looking for a man who is as tactile as I am, and kissing is listed in my list of favourite things. I also bring my must-be-tactile requirement up in the first few messages, so I can be sure we're on the same page. Just a thought.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm thinking along the lines of many in saying perhaps they want to keep one thing to themselves, that us theirs and theirs alone? Some couples have a no anal rule, but are happy to have anal with their own partners (and before you all yell about disease I persoanlly know couples who have this rule cos they weant to keep it as their own special thing). So if a couple wants to keep something between themselves who are we to judge? As for the texting, I can see where the myriad of problems can form here. Sure group texting is fine, but on many occassions the male, or indeed both sides of the couple, spend all ther time communicatiing chiefly with the female of the couple and thus ostrcise the male component of that couple, making him feel like the spare tyre just bought to the party so they can have their way with the woman of the couple, but will tolerate the guy in order to get there. One couple I know spent so much time trying to coax my partner into joining them even though they knew at that stage she only played with me as a couple (times have changed lol), by the time I returned from working away nothing happened as we couldn't trust them any further. My instincts about the guy turned out to be right when it was discovered he was cheating on his partner. He'd spent many an hour trying to sext with my wife, and I'm sure his partner was none the wiser. Anyhow, thats my two cents. Simplest thing to do is be upfront about what you want and are willing to do. If someone has rules in place that you can't or won't abide by....move on. There's no point in judging others and how they chose to play solely because it doesn't fit in with your predetermined values.
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RHP User
9 years ago
One hundred percent spot on. We couldn't agree more.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' Quoting I_touch_myself : "So what are you essentially saying, you don't kiss? " To answer your question, of course we kiss when we make love. Whether or not we kiss another couple, should we play with them, will depend on a number of things. " For example if they are smokers, we will avoid kissing them (we don't enjoy kissing ashtrays ) . If they have bad breath and/or rotten, stained, teeth, we wont kiss them. Of course at the end of the day, the choice to kiss or not to kiss is entirely up to the individuals. What we can all agree on, is that kissing is a very sensual thing and for this reason we feel that there needs to be some connection and attraction for us to kiss a stranger. Really? So there needs to be a connection and attraction to kiss but not to fuck? hmmm wow
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RHP User
9 years ago
Couples that have rules also have insecurities, so I don't go there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My wife and I encountered a couple who we seemed to connect well with so we organized to meet for a drink. Just prior to meeting, they sprung on us their no kissing rule. We told them that was a deal breaker to us as that was our most important component of the experience. The build up of the attraction, interaction & flirting is where the tension and tingles finally get to release in that first kiss. Nothing went further but later on we learnt that they announced themselves as having HSV2. I guess that was their way of trying to interact without risk of infecting others. As for the texting, it can be hit and miss. Some people can be magic behind a phone but as soon as they are interacting face to face, they struggle.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' Couples that have rules also have insecurities, so I don't go there. exactly where I was going with my comments, but then I'm not the monogamous type, more than that though, it excites me to think of a partner who fucks other people, it would be nice if I was allowed to watch every so often mmm or maybe join in, or play alone, but everyone is happy and having fun, and going to that magical place, why would anyone want to live every day worrying about their partner straying, just let them, do it yourself, more sex all round woo hoo
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lookintoplay_qld
9 years ago
we don't have issues kissing is our own thing like some people want separate rooms every one is different not every one likes anal sex why judge people
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Well written. We agree with what you have written on both topics : the keeping something special & intimate for one another and the very real dangers of allowing the male of one couple to text the female of another. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Quoting Unicorn99: In my experience Couples that have rules also have insecurities, so I don't go there. We don't agree with that at all. In the swinging scene it is important to communicate with another potential couple and to lay down some ground rules & boundaries, so that ALL parties know the likes & dislikes of one another so that in the event of play, one knows what is acceptable and what is not. This is not about being insecure but rather about knowing exactly what one likes or does not like. There is no point in doing something that one does not like, simply to please the other party or because one feels too shy/polite/insecure to tell them beforehand. For example one may be very petite & small boned , and thus too tight for being fisted without pain, discomfort and bruising. Obviously obe would want to avoid this and so one would set this as a boundary /rule and make sure that the other party knew this . Hardly being insecure is it ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Quoting I_touch_myself : Really? So there needs to be a connection and attraction to kiss but not to fuck? hmmm wow You assume & guess to much, so let's try one final time to enlighten you should we ? If and when we play (with others , and they know who they are , wink & smile ) there obviously has to be a special connection & mutual attraction. If we did not find them attractive & there was no special connection, we would not be prepared to share our bodies with them in an intimate moment. We rarely play with others ( only twice this year so far ) as not only do we lead busy lives, but we also have high standards, and always opt for quality (as opposed to quantity) in everything that we do. You know the saying " too much of a good thing "???? We have been happily married for over 17 years, and our sex life is very healthy. Swinging has added a new "spin" to it all, but at the end of the day it's about our enjoyment & fantasy . So far we have met some really nice couples, that we have become good friends with and whom we see often for drinks, dinner & outings. (Don't always play with them ) There is so much more to swinging , than "fucking" , well at least for us there is. But at the end of the day we all are in it for different reasons we guess. And we all have different likes, dislikes and tastes. Some enjoy beer, others wine ...... It takes all types to make the world go around :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'MrJanuary77' My wife and I encountered a couple who we seemed to connect well with so we organized to meet for a drink. Just prior to meeting, they sprung on us their no kissing rule. We told them that was a deal breaker to us as that was our most important component of the experience. The build up of the attraction, interaction & flirting is where the tension and tingles finally get to release in that first kiss. Nothing went further but later on we learnt that they announced themselves as having HSV2. I guess that was their way of trying to interact without risk of infecting others. As for the texting, it can be hit and miss. Some people can be magic behind a phone but as soon as they are interacting face to face, they struggle. There are no sexual diseases that can be spread by kissing, or its so so rare that you will not meet a infectious disease specialist that has come across it,. HSV2, is genital herpes. The other couple "Dynmaiccouple36" also had this misconception that sexual diseases can be caught by kissing, they threw out the old 80's misconception about saliva, i lost a mouth full of good bourbon when i read that......lol..........also the most obvious point is that you are never ever going to kiss someone who is actively infectious and therefore has a bleeding mouth, ulcers in the mouth, cuts in the mouth, or pustular lumps , all combined with an horrendous smell. I have been a nurse for 25 years, and worked in HIV hospitals in London during the 90's, i also recently worked for a while in a infectious disease ward at a major hospital, so i have some knowledge regarding disease. The rest of your post illustrates my point that the "no kissing" couple should be up front immediately to prevent time wasting.
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Taby_DK
9 years ago
Quoting 'Muso17' Quoting 'Taby_DK' We have have been swinging for a number of years before and until recently had never come across this issue. We started chatting to an attractive couple and things where going well, to the stage where we had exchanged phone numbers and after texting a bit we casually got into a discussion on limits and no-go's when playing. The first limit this couple had was no kissing, yet they where completely ok with not using condoms and said they where 100% cool with Mr cuming inside the female half of their couple?! We are very very strict on having safe sex when we play, so we where just sort of left gob smacked that a couple was happy to have unprotected sex yet won't allow kissing. For us kissing is part of the whole experience and it's just not possible for us to have sex without it even between ourselves. So after being left utterly shocked we politely informed them that sorry we can't have sex without kissing and that we wouldn't be able to meet them... The unprotected sex part was also a big deal breaker but in this case we just found their reasoning to be a little confusing... Taby xx__________________________________________________________________________ Sorry Tabby_DK, I hope this is not too personal and not my business. Please say so if that's the case...As far as the 'No Condoms' issue is concerned, I'm assuming that was a deal breaker for you anyway. But did this couple mean that all parties would be 'tested' beforehand, to enable the 'non-use' of condoms to be a safe thing, or were they suggesting just jumping in without any protection or tests at all?Thanks Hi, no problem at all. To answer your question there was no talk of of 'being tested' beforehand, It was my assumption they where keen to just jump right in without protection or tests which in the swinging world is a BIG no no, so we declined pretty quickly in the nicest way possible. But we found their reasoning so weird, why would you not allow kissing but allow that? Not just the unprotected sex part but also being 100% ok with letting a guy you don't know cum inside your partner!!! I would be horrified if a guy said he wanted to do that to me regardless of if I knew him well or not. As far as I'm concerned that's something you only do with your own partner in a long-term committed relationship, not to mention that no birth control is 100% so there is that risk also!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' Quoting I_touch_myself : Really? So there needs to be a connection and attraction to kiss but not to fuck? hmmm wow You assume & guess to much, so let's try one final time to enlighten you should we ? If and when we play (with others , and they know who they are , wink & smile ) there obviously has to be a special connection & mutual attraction. If we did not find them attractive & there was no special connection, we would not be prepared to share our bodies with them in an intimate moment. We rarely play with others ( only twice this year so far ) as not only do we lead busy lives, but we also have high standards, and always opt for quality (as opposed to quantity) in everything that we do. You know the saying " too much of a good thing "???? We have been happily married for over 17 years, and our sex life is very healthy. Swinging has added a new "spin" to it all, but at the end of the day it's about our enjoyment & fantasy . So far we have met some really nice couples, that we have become good friends with and whom we see often for drinks, dinner & outings. (Don't always play with them ) There is so much more to swinging , than "fucking" , well at least for us there is. But at the end of the day we all are in it for different reasons we guess. And we all have different likes, dislikes and tastes. Some enjoy beer, others wine ...... It takes all types to make the world go around :) - Posted from rhpmobile just saying, I don't have the insecurities you do, so you can stop preaching or not, carry on regardless
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thicklonghard
9 years ago
For a woman the very imp thing that she can't share with anyone else is her Vagina, the hubby happy to share that with other men but not kissing lolzzzzzzz same I didn't get this either since long, the one who say that kissing means love between 2 persons totally live in fool's world - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself' Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' Quoting I_touch_myself : "So what are you essentially saying, you don't kiss? " To answer your question, of course we kiss when we make love. Whether or not we kiss another couple, should we play with them, will depend on a number of things. " For example if they are smokers, we will avoid kissing them (we don't enjoy kissing ashtrays ) . If they have bad breath and/or rotten, stained, teeth, we wont kiss them. Of course at the end of the day, the choice to kiss or not to kiss is entirely up to the individuals. What we can all agree on, is that kissing is a very sensual thing and for this reason we feel that there needs to be some connection and attraction for us to kiss a stranger. Really? So there needs to be a connection and attraction to kiss but not to fuck? hmmm wow Actually a bloke kissed Tara and she just did not enjoy it with him, if he had have nibbled on her ear lobe, that most likely would have sent her bonka's. How do I know that ?
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lookintoplay_qld
9 years ago
we must be time wasters kissing to us is our thing sex and love is two different things and cheating people and time wasters are on every site wether they kiss or not how many on here haven't got validations or a guest with big opinions and wont pay to be on here
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RHP User
9 years ago
This is all a lesson in asking the right questions. The first couple I was with when I was still very new and green to all of this didn't tell me until we were pretty much naked that Mister wasn't allowed to have full sex with me. As in no penetration. To be honest, I wouldn't have met up with them if I had known that. But you live and learn! Now I know the questions to ask before everyone wastes too much time.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It must have been HSV1
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ajaussie
9 years ago
Thats from everything starts......and some couples don't like it.....you must be joking..
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sxy30sGCguy
9 years ago
No kissing, no single men...in the majority of cases when u see this on couples profiles it's because the guy has jealousy & trust issues. It makes no sense, it basically translates to this.....his fine with his lady fucking a guy when part of a couple .......but if he isn't getting any additional pussy then he isn't fine with her enjoying herself with another man? And he clearly thinks it's fine for him to expect his partner to be ok with him fucking single women, but won't allow her to fuck a single guy?? Selfish double standards much ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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naughtysecret7
9 years ago
Will try and keep this brief For us, there has to be chemistry not just sex. We NEED to kiss to want more.This is way more intimate than any sexual position , and kissing is at least 50% of the whole experience.For us it heightens every other experience!! Therefore, sex without kissing would be a second rate event. I think a lot of couples have NO SINGLE GUYS - we will contact you,!! on their profile due to the large percentage of single men on RHP, in chat rooms, registered for swingers parties etc. and don't want to be inundated with offers. A lot of these same profiles however list they are interested in single girls, which appears like a double standard. We modify our profile from time to time depending on what we are wanting NEXT. Mostly its other couples so both parties are having fun with someone new. However, if the Mr wants to give Mrs a treat then we will contact a single guy, and vice versa if the Mrs wants to treat Mr then she will will find a girl that we both like. Although, much harder to find a single girl that wants a threesome with a married couple HAHA!. Above all, most of our fun is in the build up and post play that we have before and afterwards. As many say, its the journey not the destination that makes it an adventure!! Big KISS from Mr and Mrs Naughty
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Taby_DK
9 years ago
Quoting 'sxy30sGCguy' No kissing, no single men...in the majority of cases when u see this on couples profiles it's because the guy has jealousy & trust issues. It makes no sense, it basically translates to this.....his fine with his lady fucking a guy when part of a couple .......but if he isn't getting any additional pussy then he isn't fine with her enjoying herself with another man? And he clearly thinks it's fine for him to expect his partner to be ok with him fucking single women, but won't allow her to fuck a single guy?? Selfish double standards much ? - Posted from rhpmobile Unless your a female like me who prefers to have sex with women over men. I often play with other women one on one without Mr and he has no issues with me doing and he in no way expects to be included because he knows I need my girl on girl time without a male presence. When we find that special couple we are both attracted to and want to play with as a couple we only do full swap play because we both like to equally participate, so no one is left standing around. We won't do 'girls play, guys watch only' for this reason even though I'm partial to females. As for single men I already have a guy who's amazing in bed so why would I look for another one? I'm bisexual and obviously being in a committed relationship with a guy when I generally prefer women means I still need my girl play, so I go off and find it with his blessing. I have the best of both worlds and we have been together for almost 4 years now this way and if anything it's made our relationship stronger.
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RHP User
9 years ago
are fickle and like what they like, they're here for their own reasons, just because they don't fit your ideal doesn't make them wrong, if it's not for you move on simple.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'Wet_Paint' are fickle and like what they like, they're here for their own reasons, just because they don't fit your ideal doesn't make them wrong, if it's not for you move on simple. Ummm ok but the moving on part is a bit hard as couples don't advertise "no kissing". The ideal as you put it is all contextual, we are all here for match making right???? So then as you can see by all of the posts here the "no kissing" couples are a minority, so in the spirit of good match making wouldn't it be better for that nuance to be advertised to save all of "the moving along"
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RHP User
9 years ago
Again, why not be proactive then instead of passive? Put on your own profile that no kissing is deal-breaker for you and solve this issue yourselves instead of waiting for others to comply to your wishes. If something isn't working for you, change it. Simples.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Conform to*
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Seriously????......so you think that the " normal" needs to be advertised???..........and yes its normal for most people to kiss while fucking. So the minority gets a pass for what reason????.........Why dont the "no kissing" couples advertise their preference, have you an opinion on that????.........
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide'Why dont the "no kissing" couples advertise their preference, have you an opinion on that????......... I've tried to be actually helpful, but right now my opinion is that it's not the fact "the minority" don't do what you expect that is the problem, it's your dreadful attitude towards people who are not like you. Good luck with that. I'm out.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Sorry but you have sagely advised us over and over. So what is your opinion on why the "no kissing" couple refuse to advertise their preference????.....or have you reserved your opinion just for us??? ...........sorry i was just being proactive like you have advised and asked a simple and poignant question.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide' Seriously????......so you think that the " normal" needs to be advertised???..........and yes its normal for most people to kiss while fucking. So the minority gets a pass for what reason????.........Why dont the "no kissing" couples advertise their preference, have you an opinion on that????......... BS. You haven't met a lot of single guys trawling for hookups. I think there is lots of "bonking" going on with not a lot of kissing going on. I think.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
We have meet a lot of single guys, and they all kiss my gorgeous wife......its very normal......MFM is our kink.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree ..when I was a single woman and used to play alone I ran into some problems with a couple. The girl was extremely insecure and I could sense it. Although we all played in the 3sum Her Man continued to text me afterwards and it was really annoying. The girl ended up catching her partner texting me and then sent me abusive messages. I also have played with a couple when I was with an ex bf and the girl also had jealousy issues and didn't want me playing with her man. You can always sense a jealous couple but the question is why do they come on rhp in the first place ? Another thing that is unfair is couples only looking for single females and not single males because the guy is controlling and insecure. If a couple asked us to play with them and they wanted full swap only I would say no way it's like you may aswel go out as single and pick up another person on ur own. I came on here to play with my bf and enjoy this together.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not everything you may need to know is going to be on the profile, plenty of profiles are quite strident about no single men, kissing less so. But all you have to do is ask, or as has been mentioned put it on your profile. Personally no kissing kills it for me to as would other things, it's all part of the dance.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide'So what is your opinion on why the "no kissing" couple refuse to advertise their preference????.....or have you reserved your opinion just for us??? My opinion on those couples is that it is their own business and none of mine. I think people have the right to put whatever they want on their profile and I have no issue whatsoever unless someone is telling lies. (No, I don't think not putting "no kissing" in a profile is lying by omission). I have preferences I don't advertise either, because they are only of concern to people I'm planning on potentially having sex with. As long as others tell me once we meet face-to-face of preferences that may be important in our decision making, I think they are doing nothing wrong at all. I think I answered your question. Peace out.
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lookintoplay_qld
9 years ago
you do have access to say no kissing if a person reads a profile instead of just assuming its simple to us we read a persons sexual likes
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Well you know its okay to have a disagreement, and i disagree with your view point. Once again we are all here for sex and match making. As you can see on this thread everyone but one couple agree that no kissing is a deal breaker. So to facilitate good match making the no kissing couples should be up front with such a basic act, a normal act, an act that as you can see here most people expect to enjoy. When it comes to sex there is no such thing as " it is their own business and none of mine", i have every right to know, and of course that includes STD's, the non use of condoms etc. The basics should be advertised, the rest as you quite rightly say can be revealed later. I disagree with your assertion that the majority have to endure the minorities reluctance to not advertise "no kissing" because they have a right to privacy. It should be the opposite, the minority have to deal with the fact that most people disagree with their stance ( which they have every right too ). To not kiss carries negative connotations as evidenced by the statements of the majority on here, i think that's the issue, and that's why they don't advertise it.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
" No kissing, no single men...in the majority of cases when u see this on couples profiles it's because the guy has jealousy & trust issues. It makes no sense, it basically translates to this.....his fine with his lady fucking a guy when part of a couple .......but if he isn't getting any additional pussy then he isn't fine with her enjoying herself with another man? " It really is not fair, nor acceptable, to generalise the way that you have done in your post above. Our "Golden Rule" with regards to our experience of swinging is quite simple and clear, and that is : 1. We always play together, in the same room, and within arms length/grasp of one another2. The women always set the ground rules, the boundaries and the pace. They decide if things will go further and how far and with whom. If they decide to stop, then that is their choice and their right. You cannot assume, that just because a "couple" has stated on their profile that they don't kiss , nor want single guys, that it is all due to the male, of the couple, having jealousy, trust & insecurity issues. We respect and trust one another, and if we did not, we would not be swingers. Everyone is into swinging for different reasons . For some people the sex is #1 priority and for them it may be that they will screw anything that is still breathing. For others it's about the seduction, the flirtation, the visuals and the sensual, erotic and naughty nature of the whole experience, with sex being just one of the rewards. Some people prefer to be watched, others prefer to do the watching. Some women prefer several men and one time, whilst others prefer some girl girl action in a FMF or MFMF scenario. Thank goodness that we all have different likes, wants, needs, desires and tastes! We have had a few MFM 3 Somes, with two very nice, polite, respectful and well groomed gentleman. We really enjoyed the experience and for Mr Dynamic it was a great turn on , to be part of, and to see his wife experiencing great pleasure at the hands of two caring men. Men who put her needs and pleasures before their own. As a relatively good looking couple (well at least Mrs Dynamic is ) we have found that we have been swamped with unsolicited messages and whispers, by huge numbers of "single" males (we put single in " " as many of them have turned out to not be "single" at all) all wanting a piece of the action and to get their rocks off by getting into Mrs Dynamic's "honey pot". Sadly the vast majority of the males, that have made unsolicited contact, have had the most appalling and disrespectful "opening" lines and have often included "cock" photos and very VERY graphic , poorly written examples of what they would like to do, to Mrs Dynamic, if they ever got the opportunity. Many have even tried to "lure"Mrs Dynamic to meet with them alone (we used to go to a few local swingers clubs on those nights that "single" men were allowed in, but now avoid those nights entirely) Clearly, the vast majority of these men (in our opinion and based on our experience) see many of the women on here, as mere pieces of flesh, to be used and abused entirely for the pleasure of said men. We are not saying that all "single" men on these sites are like that, but the ratio of men, to women, on these sites is tantamount to 100 to 1 and so its par for the course that the majority of "bad apples", at least on these sites, tends to be "single" men. We are not saying that there are some nasty couples and or women out there. If there are, we have not yet experienced them. Because of what we have experienced, by these "single" men, not only on this swingers site, but two others, we have, within our profile wording, made it clear that we are not interested in / nor looking for "single" men. That does not mean that we wont have a MFM, nor does it mean that Mr Dynamic will only allow play with another couple as long as he gets a piece of the other woman. Our needs constantly change and evolve as we experience new things as a result of our "swinging" encounters. In a MFMF for example, Mrs Dynamic more than often, much prefers to have fun with the other female, and may therefore not indulge in penetrative sex with the other male. It is entirely up to Mrs Dynamic and of course the female of the other couple, as to how far they will ago and who they will allow/be comfortable with, doing what and to whom (if that makes sense ?) Insecurity and Jealousy (for both of us) does not feature at all as if either of us were insecure or jealous, we would certainly not want to complicate nor jeopardise our long term,loving & trustworthy marriage by swinging and swapping partners. People with jealousy, trust and insecurity issues (within their marriage/relationship) should not, in our opinion, be swinging. Historically, swinging has generally been something that has been introduced into a relationship by the male half of the couple. Males certainly do have different needs and its accepted that they generally have a much higher sex drive. For women, sex is more an intimate, sharing & nurturing experience and sharing your body with another does take a lot of trust, courage and an open mind. In our opinion, and based on our experiences, we have come across many women who feel that they have been pushed/pressurised into swinging by their male partners. Many start having regrets and feel used, and or feel that they have to give in for the sake of their relationship. This is where mutual respect and good communication is vital for both parties, so that any concerns, worries or insecurities can be discussed and addressed before things get out of hand. " his fine with his lady fucking a guy when part of a couple .......but if he isn't getting any additional pussy then he isn't fine with her enjoying herself with another man? " If the majority of men (as you have stated above) really felt this way, well then there would not be any MFM 3 somes would there ? But clearly that is not the case, as there are many husbands/partners out there that put their wifes/girlfriends needs & enjoyment before their own. In our case, we always make sure that we play in the same room and that we are always within arms length & grasp. We always prefer to be "touching" one another as that way we remain connected during play. This is after all about our enjoyment as a married couple, and so for our intimacy we prefer to retain the connection. We also have a secret signal/squeeze that lets one another know that (a) we are still good / still enjoying (b) have had enough (c) want to stop.This is essential to have as for us, its our safety net, so that if either of us feels uncomfortable, with anything that is happening, there is a way to stop it without any misunderstanding and regrets. Mr Dynamic generally prefers to reserve his orgasms for Mrs Dynamic, but is happy for her to have as many orgasms as she wants / can get. Again the priority is for her enjoyment, first and foremost, and then his. We are not jealous, we are not insecure . We know exactly what we want . We try never to invade the space nor overstep the boundaries of others, which is why communication is essential. We always kiss one another when making love and if we play with a couple that we like, and if they meet our standards, we will also kiss them, as long as the feeling is mutual for all concerned. Single guys ( the ones that really are single) we will find them if and when we have the need. Again insecurity & jealousy has absolutely nothing to do with our choice for preferring MFMF or FMF.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Under sexual preferences first box is Kissing, so it's on the list or it's not. Are you insinuating they tick this box but don't kiss ? I fail to see your problem ?
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'lookintoplay_qld' you do have access to say no kissing if a person reads a profile instead of just assuming its simple to us we read a persons sexual likes I looked in the sexual preference options and "no kissing" is not an option. To not have that boxed ticked may be an over sight as we have messaged couples that have not ticked that box but are very comfortable with kissing. However there is no confusion if its its in their description of what they are looking for
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RHP User
9 years ago
Then say so...saves a lot of time energy,effort and disappointment...A right to privacy ?..if that was the case then all profiles would be blank..maybe RHP could add a tick box for kissing xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide' the no kissing couples should be up front with such a basic act How exactly are you going to make them do what you want? Considering you actually have no say in what they include in their profiles and all. Basically it doesn't matter how much you keep going on about this, or how many people agree with you about the no kissing thing, you can't make people put that info on their profile so it's really up to you to find your own way of dealing with it. Unless you actually like banging your head against brick walls of course...if that's the case then hey have a ball.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Ahhh the point of this thread, is to show the discontent regarding the subject. This is the only way to get across the message that " no kissing " needs to be advertised. Obviously i, and the majority of people on this thread cant make the "no kissing couples" advertise but perhaps some of these couples may look at all the comments here and be more up front.........thats the aim. Time wasting is the scourge of this site, its worth banging on about it. Many many threads on here complain about it ( time wasting), im not the only one, and i wont be the last.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Then say so...saves a lot of time energy,effort and disappointment...A right to privacy ?..if that was the case then all profiles would be blank..maybe RHP could add a tick box for kissing xxFreya There is one ! Under sexual, it's the first option !
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RHP User
9 years ago
Omg Freya, I wonder if RHP has considered that? Love your work. ;-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wait Awhile !
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RHP User
9 years ago
So there is,under Sexual preferences..XxFreya
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madotara69
9 years ago
So people who don't list kissing in the sexual preferences, was an oversight, so now other people did not tick kissing and that was their oversight, you did not confirm kissing with a couple right up until a meet and you pulled out with that couple because they said no kissing, but they did not have kissing listed, yet in you're profile nothing about kissing, except in the sexual preferences you listed kissing, and kissing is so important that you would cancel a play up and come in here calling them time wasters, demanding the population abide by your'e opinion because of all the time wasters, wasting your time. Could say it was you're fuck up and you wasted their time.
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lookintoplay_qld
9 years ago
as far as jealousy issues we don't have any just because my wife doesn't want to kiss other people its her choice this thread is so one sided and truly think people who don't kiss are time wasters I think you might need to do some more research and cheating people or single guys who think there players aren't time wasters good luck with it I give up we are happy to be time wasters
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social_suicide
9 years ago
You are correct in saying the thread is one sided........for obvious reasons, its normal to kiss while fucking. No one is debating a personal choice regarding kissing. What irks people is that its not clearly stated in the section of the profile where you get to say what you are looking for........ie; you are looking for people who don't want to kiss. We have cancelled quite a few meets for this reason only, the couple can be attractive, articulate and happy to play on first meet but will not kiss, so time has been wasted with the build up etc. Yes we have learnt our lesson now, and unfortunately its the first question we ask, which in our opinion is not ideal but a necessary evil due to the reluctance of couples to declare it. It would be enormously helpful if it was just plainly stated in the profile. As for the research , thats what this thread is and by and large "no kissing" is seen as less than ideal. As for single men, we have played with a ton, 2 to 3 times a month, month in month out, and never ever had a problem because we have zero issues with texting which helps to vet the potentials, and funnily enough a lot ask if we allow kissing!!!..........not sure about the cheaters as we vet everyone through texting and to date havent had a problem with it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide' This is the only way to get across the message that " no kissing " needs to be advertised. According to who? You. Yes, the majority of posters (me included) agree that no kissing is a deal-breaker, yet I've not seen many agree with your demand that people who won't kiss advertise this on their profile. You know how on a different thread some posters made comments about seeing the same forum topics over and over as new members join? I can honestly say that in my three years here (though having seen threads on no kissing being a deal-breaker), this is the first time I have seen a forum on this particular subject. That says to me it's not as big a problem for the majority of forumites as it is for you.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
....... "We also have a secret signal/squeeze that lets one another know that (a) we are still good / still enjoying (b) have had enough (c) want to stop.".........Sorry but that sounds weird. My wife is confident enough to say " hey i need a break"..........also i actually ask her during play if all is good, and so does the +1. We all talk.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
We have to had to use our hand squeeze signals during play yet. We however thought up the idea of subtle hand signals as a way to discreetly communicate our opinion on something, without offending the other parties. (It's called subtlety, tact & diplomacy ) For example (hypothetical scenario): We meet a new couple at a bar and have a few drinks and a chat. They seem keen to get to know us more intimately. We need to be 100% sure that both of us would like to proceed further. We cannot exactly ask one another, in front of " couple X" what we think of them and if we like them etc. that would be uncomfortable for "couple X". And so that's where our hand squeeze signal comes in handy. It's almost like morse code. And we know of many couples that use discrete and subtle signals in similar situations. Some even have a safe word and an escape word. Nothing weird about it at all. If it works for us, and others, then we are entitled to use it. It's subtle , unconfrontational , and thus does not infringe on the enjoyment and dignity of others. It would be rude to blurt out, over drinks "we don't find you attractive , you are not our types, we have no intention of playing with you " would it not ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'social_suicide' Time wasting is the scourge of this site, its worth banging on about it. Many many threads on here complain about it ( time wasting), im not the only one, and i wont be the last. wasn't referring to people wasting your time. I was talking about the futility of your apparent obsession to try and get people to do what you think they should. Like I said, it does not matter how many people voice their agreement with you on this thread, you won't suddenly bring on an epiphany amongst all those you are targeting, even if they do read this which many won't. So all you're doing is creating angst for yourself, for no good reason. It is so simple to just ask other couples as soon as you commence communication with them whether they kiss, and if they don't then say thanks but no thanks. You actually need to take some responsibility for your interactions as well, if you are relying solely on others to act the way you think they should then you're going to have many disappointments, not just here but in life in general. Wasting so much energy on something like this is just ridiculous IMO.
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lookintoplay_qld
9 years ago
no one can win you wont listen lots of people read a profile if it has no kissing in there sexual interests simply say no thanks read if a person is verified or got validations not hard to work out if there time wasters
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' We have to had to use our hand squeeze signals during play yet. We however thought up the idea of subtle hand signals as a way to discreetly communicate our opinion on something, without offending the other parties. (It's called subtlety, tact & diplomacy ) For example (hypothetical scenario): We meet a new couple at a bar and have a few drinks and a chat. They seem keen to get to know us more intimately. We need to be 100% sure that both of us would like to proceed further. We cannot exactly ask one another, in front of " couple X" what we think of them and if we like them etc. that would be uncomfortable for "couple X". And so that's where our hand squeeze signal comes in handy. It's almost like morse code. And we know of many couples that use discrete and subtle signals in similar situations. Some even have a safe word and an escape word. Nothing weird about it at all. If it works for us, and others, then we are entitled to use it. It's subtle , unconfrontational , and thus does not infringe on the enjoyment and dignity of others. It would be rude to blurt out, over drinks "we don't find you attractive , you are not our types, we have no intention of playing with you " would it not ? - Posted from rhpmobile Lol, sorry i thought the context was all this happened while you were playing and not pre meet drinks.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Very interesting topic! The label of Sexual Normalities have been brought to societies mainly by authorities (political & religious) as a mean of control. Have a look at the history of sexuality by Foucault if you get some spare time. Labelling anything as abnormal has been/is a way to justify the system of punishment. As a woman who does not follow the 'normal' trail, I have learnt to respect individuals and not judge them. Anyone is as free as me to set lines for their lives or break the lines of their lives and if I am going to be involved the only thing that would be expected is clear honest communication. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dimeshreds
9 years ago
I love kissing and I hate that most couple have no single guys on their profile, however, I do understand it. I feel fucking someone is far less intimate than making out and guys are a bit ott and the numbers on sites like these are way too high so you need to back them off some how. I have personally enjoyed the more intimate meet ups where no strict rules are in play like no kissing and this and that, the rules generally come from the male too like you are getting told off for even thinking it. As a single guy coming in you always have to give the male of the couple the alpha status or it will be ruined for him, and in turn ruined for you/me.
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