M46
Why lie and cheat ??
January 15 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' I think we can all agree on two facts:1. Those that cheat will always have an excuse, they can always justify it to themselves and they truely think no one is being hurt. They don't think of any consequences of their actions.2. Those who don't cheat can't understand why someone would. To them it is incomprehensible and will always end in sorrow and pain (both emotional and financial pain)!Huh? Where on earth did those two conclusions come from? (Or perhaps from another planet? I'm too polite to suggest which one....) I haven't cheated, but I don't believe that anyone does so without any regard to the consequences. I'm better placed for point 2 - I haven't cheated, but I completely understand how it can happen. Are we reading the same thread?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'screaming_orgasm' Quoting 'seekingu40' Your ex was a "wanker" for not being cool with you fucking other guys? LOL. What percentage of couples swing, do you think? How many people are cool with their partner fucking around? Nearly bloody zero. It didn't make him a wanker. Best estimate couples that will be involved in swinging is between 1% to 15% and in the USA 4mill was the estimate 5 yrs ago. Another interesting statistic is about 45% of men and 37% of women will cheat on their partners during marrage, obviously a lot of couples work thru it. I have noticed threads here on cheating get highly emotive , when hell you are not in love with someone else hopefully, you are just having sex! Whats the big deal?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SoldierB'Sorry Mikeandshel, but the concept of a pair of swingers gobbing off to people about fidelity and riding around on a moral high horse is just so breathtakingly hypocritical and arrogant I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.You realise that 99% of the population wuld call you guys 'cheaters' right?No amount of handwaving away 'oh but we know so it's ok' would really convince the average punter.If people want to cheat, then thats their bag... go ahead. They have their reasons. SoldierB, swinging is when a couple meets with another couple and they swap partners for sex only, everything is in the open and normally 4 in the same bed its a fun game couples play. 70% to 99% of the population might say, No in reality I would estimate 20% might try to say swinging defeats some marrage vows to be faithfull to each other, which would then enter another complex debate. There is no way in a million years swinging = cheating. Whats happened between husband and wife either physically or emotionally that they dont know? or any attempt has been made to hide.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SoldierB' Sorry Mikeandshel, but the concept of a pair of swingers gobbing off to people about fidelity and riding around on a moral high horse is just so breathtakingly hypocritical and arrogant I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.You realise that 99% of the population wuld call you guys 'cheaters' right?No amount of handwaving away 'oh but we know so it's ok' would really convince the average punter.If people want to cheat, then thats their bag... go ahead. They have their reasons. thanks for that, but the question was asked, or did you not see?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'mooka' I think we can all agree on two facts:1. Those that cheat will always have an excuse, they can always justify it to themselves and they truely think no one is being hurt. They don't think of any consequences of their actions.2. Those who don't cheat can't understand why someone would. To them it is incomprehensible and will always end in sorrow and pain (both emotional and financial pain)!Huh? Where on earth did those two conclusions come from? (Or perhaps from another planet? I'm too polite to suggest which one....) I haven't cheated, but I don't believe that anyone does so without any regard to the consequences. I'm better placed for point 2 - I haven't cheated, but I completely understand how it can happen. Are we reading the same thread? Snowshoe, Damn sorry for voicing an opinion, and here I thought we were all adults here. I still stand by my hypothesis, most on this thread who are in favour of cheating, not one has said that "yes cheat, but be prepared for the consequences". I have seen families destroyed because one of the spouses couldn't keep their pants on, I have had mates suicide because when they were caught they lost everything, and I mean everything. Most cheat because it is the easy way out, and they justify that with the fact their spouse is always wrong. Well I hate to tell you but it sometimes takes two for a relationship to fail, both parties are in fault as much as the other. Again Snowshoe, sorry for having an opinion that differed from yours, but then again you do give the indication you are always right!!!! Mooka (Dons his tinfoil hat and waits the cutting wit and irrifutable logic to come flooding in)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'mooka' I think we can all agree on two facts:1. Those that cheat will always have an excuse, they can always justify it to themselves and they truely think no one is being hurt. They don't think of any consequences of their actions.2. Those who don't cheat can't understand why someone would. To them it is incomprehensible and will always end in sorrow and pain (both emotional and financial pain)!Huh? Where on earth did those two conclusions come from? (Or perhaps from another planet? I'm too polite to suggest which one....) I haven't cheated, but I don't believe that anyone does so without any regard to the consequences. I'm better placed for point 2 - I haven't cheated, but I completely understand how it can happen. Are we reading the same thread? Snowshoe, Damn sorry for voicing an opinion, and here I thought we were all adults here. I still stand by my hypothesis, most on this thread who are in favour of cheating, not one has said that "yes cheat, but be prepared for the consequences". I have seen families destroyed because one of the spouses couldn't keep their pants on, I have had mates suicide because when they were caught they lost everything, and I mean everything. Most cheat because it is the easy way out, and they justify that with the fact their spouse is always wrong. Well I hate to tell you but it sometimes takes two for a relationship to fail, both parties are in fault as much as the other. Again Snowshoe, sorry for having an opinion that differed from yours, but then again you do give the indication you are always right!!!! Mooka (Dons his tinfoil hat and waits the cutting wit and irrifutable logic to come flooding in) seems like its all settled..... on this not we'll step out of this thread and leave u guys to argue the pros n cons of cheating. good luck and yea. hope no one cheats on those who feel its ok for them lol ffs
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xFunlovingx
14 years ago
Just had to tick the box to stop following this topic Carry on.... < xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well said Fionabee,i am in that exact situation and have found a lover who is also in the same boat ,we love our respective partners who are both very very non sexual,we have a great time together and also now have decided to explore our sexuallity further .And i have to say its not a good thing to cheat ,but the sex is awesome.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SoldierB' Sorry Mikeandshel, but the concept of a pair of swingers gobbing off to people about fidelity and riding around on a moral high horse is just so breathtakingly hypocritical and arrogant I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.You realise that 99% of the population wuld call you guys 'cheaters' right?No amount of handwaving away 'oh but we know so it's ok' would really convince the average punter.If people want to cheat, then thats their bag... go ahead. They have their reasons. Lmfao..... your point is being wasted, SoldierB. It's a common ploy on here for swingers to claim the moral high ground while for e.g. your husband is watching you take another man's cock in your twat... Morality... it's an arbitrary line we each draw for ourselves... and from that position people fight for what is right. Hilarious.Mooka has a point... people who do cheat do engage in self preserving their own self image by inventing excuses.. and cheaters will get caught.. eventually... but the consequences do not always mean the end of a relationship... However, lowering the debate to the point of moralising and condemning other people is not the same as merely expressing an opinion on your relationship principles... we're all adults here living with our own decisions and circumstances... so live and let love.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Lmfao..... your point is being wasted, SoldierB. It's a common ploy on here for swingers to claim the moral high ground while for e.g. your husband is watching you take another man's cock in your twat... Morality... it's an arbitrary line we each draw for ourselves... and from that position people fight for what is right. Hilarious. And what are you doing here Stalky? What can we argue about ? Well you know swingers are allways right and heaps safer dont you? Screaming Orgasm we are not passing judgement we have not said one lifestyle is better than the other....apart to Stalky lol. Have a good evening all.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'screaming_orgasm' "Oh, but if you're not happy you should just leave," I hear the idiots chorusing. Yes, because divorce is so cheap, so convenient and so painless.You're all banging on that this bloke should be honest and tell his wife he isn't interested in fucking her any more. I think that's insane. He's an idiot for telling anyone - but high-horse Harry over there can take a seat. Walk a mile in the man's shoes before you decide you're better than him.In my personal situation, I don't want to lose my kids. I don't want to hurt my wife. But the fact remains that she has become undesirable - and not overnight - and has always been hard work to fuck. I hear the angry growls of keyboards rattling, telling me it's my fault and I should communicate. Guess what, I've done that. And guess what else, I'm an excellent communicator. It is impossible to be completely open and honest in regard to this without causing permanent damage to the relationship. I defy anyone to adequately communicate all of the following in ANY terms without fucking the relationship and precipitating a divorce. But tell me if you can. I'm all ears. Here's the message:"Honey I've put up with your eating and exercise habits for the last three years, and I just can't stand the sight of you naked any more. You really are in disgusting condition and I wouldn't look twice at you if I'd never met you. What really pisses me off about this is that you're the only person I'm allowed to fuck. You don't seem to care whether or not I enjoy a significant aspect of my life and happiness, you don't seem to agree that the imposition of fidelity also imposes a reciprocal obligation on each of us to provide one other with fulfilment, and seem to think that you're entitled to fidelity no matter how badly you abandon your responsibilities. "Meanwhile, you have no idea what you're doing in bed, even though I've been trying to teach you for the past five years what teenagers manage to learn all by themselves. I appreciate that you never had an orgasm before we met and that you're starting from behind the pack. But still, I'm all out of patience. It's not sexy when you try to turn sex into a joke when I try to start something other than the boring routine you seem unable to think past, your husband touching you is not something to giggle about and pull faces like a village idiot, and as a mature adult I really get frustrated that I have an apparent adolescent in bed with me. For fuck's sake. I am no longer fulfilled by having to hold your hand and teach you everything, and I think 5 years is long enough to hope that eventually you'll stop needing training wheels."By the way, I liked that you asked your friends for advice on blowjobs. But take it from a heterosexual man that he doesn't want to hear that he's getting his wife's gay friend's best tips. It takes the polish off, somewhat. Why the fuck did you tell me that?"Every single one of your friends is vastly better-looking than you. Several of them could be sportsmodels. Aren't they any kind of inspiration to you? You're on their netball team. Why the fuck are you so fat and frumpy, then? Many of their husbands are outright arseholes, and not a single one of them is as hands-on a Dad as I am. You constantly have family members and friends telling you how lucky you are. Do you think eventually you might stop to think that I could get a better deal than I have here? Or at least step up and be a *good* partner, rather than the bare fucking minimum?"The only reason I don't fuck off right now is that your shithouse cooking and tendency to prepare Yank cafeteria-style junk would doom my kids to malnutrition, and that's if your suicidal driving didn't kill them off before scurvy did. And I'm entitled to want to live with my kids - remember, I'm a good Dad, it's the most important thing in the world to me - so given you've entirely abandoned any pretence of providing me with the fulfilment a life-long, monogamous partner should be reasonably expected to provide, I'm going to find it elsewhere."Fathers have no rights, and it is fundamentally unjust that I will lose my children to you simply because you're too fat, stupid and useless to want to continue staying faithful to. So I'm going to fuck whoever I want and at least reclaim that aspect of my happiness. You've lost your entitlement to my fidelity, and I don't even feel guilty about feeling that way any more."Try telling someone that message. Good luck.Try telling me I'm wrong and that I should leave. Save your breath. Gawd. I love the way you express yourself. You are a communicator! Errr.... and you're probably right about something.... if you said these things to your lover, it's likely to cause irreparable damage to the relationship. I bet you feel a little better sharing in this anonymous forum.. getting those thoughts down to help you come to terms with them. Having them scrutinized and tested by others helps too. I will say one thing... you're clearly dedicated to marriage in the long term... which brings me to ask if you're pushing towards a healthier lifestyle... I mean.. if one partner spends a lot of time in a gym, ultimately the other partner becomes curious about what you're up to in there... and fitness leads to dopamines and dopamines make people feel good about themselves... which makes them feel sexy.. and people who feel sexy get horny... and horny people crave sex.... and become more adventurous because of increased flexibility and stamina..... I mean.. all this is just a theory... except for the horny part. I get horny at gym! Maybe it's all that bending and stretching and jiggling.... and flexing... the eye candy. ahuh. Surely she likes eye candy!HUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yep I get horny at the gym too!!!! But seriously this topic and the "safe sex" topic always causes so much angst!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I used to be a private investigator, and asked a similar question of a lot of colleagues who had caught out cheaters. Basically, partners who have been cheated on are angry for the lies, rather than the sex. This theme came through time and time again. I've also been in your position, and the friend's wife was a top chick, I hated it, I stopped talking to my friend for good. Lastly, I've just left my very long term GF as the sex life had died, we tried spicing it up, just didn't seem to work. Now I'm on here and will see how things go...but will not screw behind some one's back....I've just heard too many stories about how it really hurts people.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'desserts'Yep I get horny at the gym too!!!! But seriously this topic and the "safe sex" topic always causes so much angst!!!! Well we would rather the subjects you mentioned above than silly girlie threads about lets do this or that above / below us to??, FFS private message them or lets shag or fav rock star. I mean to say!
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RHP User
14 years ago
LOL cannon fodder everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I prefer the amateur pics section, venom and corpses everywhere, slayed by monogamous swingers LOL oh the irony, enjoy the orgy ;-)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Morality... it's an arbitrary line we each draw for ourselves... and from that position people fight for what is right. Hilarious.Mooka has a point... people who do cheat do engage in self preserving their own self image by inventing excuses.. and cheaters will get caught.. eventually... but the consequences do not always mean the end of a relationship... However, lowering the debate to the point of moralising and condemning other people is not the same as merely expressing an opinion on your relationship principles... we're all adults here living with our own decisions and circumstances... so live and let love.HugsStalky Even though it hurt my brain and stretched my eyebrows in places to read this entire thread, I'm glad I did. It reminded me of what these forums are all about. | I don't have an opinion on this question either way this evening .. too many conflicting angles in my world upon which to form one. But as always, Stalky kinda sums it up quite cleanly here. || As usual, Stalky's remarks are very well put together.
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RHP User
14 years ago
When a man loves his wife,doesn't want to leave her just so that he can go and obtain sexual relief, he has to run the gauntlet or social judgement . I think that one of the unfortunate things in society is that belief of some, that they are entitled and compeled to place moral judgement on other peoples actions without any background knowledge of what has led to the action. In this case its the fact that some people do have sex outside their marriage without their partner having knowledge or their actions, seems ,the pet word is cheating.I am in a marriage and my wife's illnesses have made sexual enjoyment at regular intervals that I need are impossible, I will not engage in intercourse outside my marriage so I use RHP to have cybersex when I am lucky enough and I dont see why others should demand that I just wank alone. I have had women treat me as a disgusting immoral person in RHP because I am chatting without my wife's knowledge . So seems the only moral way for me to deal with my situation is to leave my wife ,then I can go fuck any woman I can get into bed and everything is cool. Personally I dont care what those with their self-righteous beliefs think I wont leave my wife just to please their uninformed judgements. I have to agree with cracked up ! . Try walking in the shoes of those you are quick to judge.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'mooka' I think we can all agree on two facts:1. Those that cheat will always have an excuse, they can always justify it to themselves and they truely think no one is being hurt. They don't think of any consequences of their actions.2. Those who don't cheat can't understand why someone would. To them it is incomprehensible and will always end in sorrow and pain (both emotional and financial pain)!Huh? Where on earth did those two conclusions come from? (Or perhaps from another planet? I'm too polite to suggest which one....) I haven't cheated, but I don't believe that anyone does so without any regard to the consequences. I'm better placed for point 2 - I haven't cheated, but I completely understand how it can happen. Are we reading the same thread? Snowshoe, Damn sorry for voicing an opinion, and here I thought we were all adults here. I still stand by my hypothesis, most on this thread who are in favour of cheating, not one has said that "yes cheat, but be prepared for the consequences". I have seen families destroyed because one of the spouses couldn't keep their pants on, I have had mates suicide because when they were caught they lost everything, and I mean everything. Most cheat because it is the easy way out, and they justify that with the fact their spouse is always wrong. Well I hate to tell you but it sometimes takes two for a relationship to fail, both parties are in fault as much as the other. Again Snowshoe, sorry for having an opinion that differed from yours, but then again you do give the indication you are always right!!!! When you start your posting with "I think we can all agree on two facts" you firstly presume to speak for all of us and second, you call what you say "facts", not "opinions". Yet I give the impression of always thinking I'm right? I'm sorry you feel offended nonetheless - it was meant more light-hearted, but perhaps was a bit subtle. Apologies.screaming_orgasm put his response to your two points very well for my money. As at least two of us disagree with you, perhaps you may consider downgrading the facts to opinions?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'Lmfao..... your point is being wasted, SoldierB. It's a common ploy on here for swingers to claim the moral high ground while for e.g. your husband is watching you take another man's cock in your twat... Morality... it's an arbitrary line we each draw for ourselves... and from that position people fight for what is right. Hilarious.HugsStalky OK I take your point.I just find it funny that somehow its all kosher and 'totally not cheating' because your partner is there with beer and pretzels watching, but what other people do is badwrongfun.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Cheating is lying plain and simple there is no justification.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Have read some of the comments and skimmed others. To us, the cheating option seems pretty messy. It's irrational. We've accepted that people do want to go with the many, that being with someone new to oneself is very horny, and have discovered that the pleasure of open friendship between four people is a great reassurance in life. To deny it and continue the monogamy line seems like puting ones head in the sand and irrational. The vast majority of people do actually behave in this irrational manner, so it's no surprise to us to see the great proportion of relationships which break up. We suggest that the breakdown is due to either frustration or to cheating. For us as a long term couple it was a bit of a hurdle at first, to accept that we both wanted to play with others. There was the terrible fear that jealousy would send us mad. But no! Rationality prevailed and we came out of the first encounters not with jealousy but with a great feeling of empowerment over socially imposed rules. The monogamy thing and the learnt thing of jealousy folded like a house of cards. All it took was rationality and honesty with oneself. Feel pretty good about ourselves actually! Surely anyone could get there. Would be a far more peaceful world if a few more did.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'screaming_orgasm' Quoting 'BadRomancefor4' this would seem to back me up in retorting that a bloke is not a wanker simply because he's one of the 98.75% of people who don't want other men ejaculating into their wives. And in your "guide for husbands to cheat successfull"you reccommend to find another married lady so you can ejaculate in others guys wives without him knowing, but no other guys can ejaculate in your wife. Thats very moral of you. (by the way you should be using condoms) Trust her husband comes home and hopefully that guy will be really wild, out of control, and see no reason when he catches you. Does happen!
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you love something set it free, If it comes back it is yours, If it doesn't, it never was......... Basically I'm doing it now, cheating on my wife, and the more chance I get to do the less I desire it, sometimes times it could be best turning a blind eye, cause I can say now I desire my wife more and more now every time i have a chance to cheat, I don't, then I go give her one of many great nits of sex, I find it gives me more passion for sex with my wife.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting '77esky' If you love something set it free, If it comes back it is yours, If it doesn't, it never was......... Basically I'm doing it now, cheating on my wife, and the more chance I get to do the less I desire it, sometimes times it could be best turning a blind eye, cause I can say now I desire my wife more and more now every time i have a chance to cheat, I don't, then I go give her one of many great nits of sex, I find it gives me more passion for sex with my wife..... I'm pretty sure there are a lot of "cheaters" around here... guys and girls cheating with girls, and cheating with guys and also swinging as a married couple to boot... life's complicated and all it would take is a discrete opportunity. Sadly, cheaters get caught eventually. That's the test of strength right there... sharing the rhetoric you use to justify your actions with your spouse. For some of us that's easy... you know, for example if your lover is also a cheater... with a bit of tolerance and forgiveness you might be able to laugh it off. ... so try and be discrete and no doubt give each other freedom and "opportunity" without asking too many questions ... for instance... if your spouse takes the evening off for a game of cards with the boys. However cheaters should not be fooled into thinking your spouse doesn't suspect.Frankly I think a bit of wanton sexual release elsewhere is good for a relationship. I think people learn more about themselves by experiencing the sexual antics of people outside their relationship... and that can add depth to the sexual antics formed within a loving relationship. For example in marriage we all recognise that sex can become like a routine.... you know? A bit of familiarity is wonderful and smoochy... but struth, after a while you know what that hand on the shoulder means... and the sexual responses can basically become automatic... auto pilot sex.. well almost! People have to recognise that as bad! Furthermore, you only marry someone you love dearly, and you might discover that their sexual interests deviate from yours in some ways.. do you deny your natural urges until either you or your spouse dies or you divorce?? Surely not. We're a long time dead... and hopefully a long time married. Sex ought not ruin an otherwise beautiful relationship. I can appreciate how cheating can make a person more passionate with their spouse.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Screaming orgasm, We have no problems with partners in marrage cheating, remember the stat we quoted around 50% men and 40% women will cheat sometime during their marrage. When we introduce a extra male mfm 3 some, his married state is not part of our decision process, we are more likely to say thats your PRIVATE business. We simply dont ask. Which most guys thank us for having a open mind on this. They are our play thingie for 4-5 hours and hopefully there will be mutual satisfaction for everyone. (We are normally gentle with our play toys) We will say No if the other guy says he could not allow anyone else to fuck his wife but he is wanting to fuck mine then its a no go and thats what I was refering to, Whats good for my wife is good for your wife. Sorry this is the way I read your post. Now if you told us you were in a sexless marrage or you have your wives permission, or you have asked her to swing and SHE has said no with or without your wives permission we would yes.....Playtime. Our problem is guys wanting to fuck someone elses wife but they wont allow their wives the same, or their wives are Bi and only looking for girlie play but they expect their husbands fuck my wife.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'screaming_orgasm'While on the subject, when are women going to learn that, given the option, men would rather come home to a hot shag than to a tidy kitchen? I beg to differ on this one screaming_orgasm....I want to come home to a HOT shag AND a tidy kitchen. . Thats's not too much to ask is it? ;P
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RHP User
14 years ago
God helps those that help themseves, but god help those that get caught helping themselves. and maybe another thought. God helps those that help themseves, but god help those, who take whats mine.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can completely relate to the motivations to cheat on a partner. I been there - living in a relationship that ticked all the boxes execpt intimacy. Not just sex but any physical contact. Working together problems at work flowed into home and vice versa. Opportunities to cheat arose and I didn't cross the line - my line not necessarily yours - but I walked it a bit. I developed feelings for others over a long marriage at various times but never pursued them - no regrets but a bit of wondering - what if ... Deciding to leave was a long process - years in the making. In many ways life would have been simpler if I'd just accepted that intimacy was something I had wait months or years for. But I would rather be sad and lonely alone than presenting a happily married facade. However, having been there I can completely accept someone wanting to fill a void in their life that their relationship cannot fill. Noone can be your everything - some say that sacrifice is true love but in a relationship each party has a different opinion of the value of the sacrifices made. Truth is no one is anyone's property and relationship issues tend to be owership problems. Others it is a vow broken. Should it be a vow people make - to be bound to life for another - forsaking all others - when you don't know who you will be living with in 10 years time. I always liked the idea of marriage contracts with an expiry date. Leaves a lot of motivation on both sides be fulfil each others needs - less complacency. Would I have a relationship with someone married or otherwise committed? - of course. Aren't they allowed to make their own decisions and use their own body as they will? Would I cheat? - I don't know - depends on circumstances.
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RHP User
14 years ago
As a kid I can rememberbeing woken in bed, Mum argueing with Dad about his cheating and Mum recieving a STD exactly as u have suggested Mrs S. Not Nice for mum or five kids terrified in their beds. The problem is between the married couple. Surely both knew there is a problem and the longer they leave it ...well we and you know the rest. And one positive outcome after living thru it we will not allow it to happen to us, or again right!
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RHP User
14 years ago
To page 4 of this thread, a lot of comments are missing!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'desserts'To page 4 of this thread, a lot of comments are missing!! Too many comments were abusive or just plain nasty. Not necessary in the forums. So the moderators delete them. It is a reminder not to make things personal and do not abuse others. Forums like these are a privelege and not a right!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hear you Fiona, but if the female is going through the various stages of menopause and this is taking years... is the man expected to just tie a knot in his old fell and 'suck it up' forgoing all sexual desires ?? Please keep in mind these desires are primal not just a fad and can have a very strong influence on the male in question. Cheating may not be the right thing to do and i don't condone it , but with a few beers, low self esteem primal urges and a little attention fron a short skirt... sometimes "NO" is a word lost ... Lee Quoting 'fionabee' There are actually many and varied reasons why. It is very rarely as easy as saying "letssit down and talk about this" The majority of women (especially so in my age group) would be just horrified to think that thier husband wanted sex with another woman. She doesbt want it as she may be peri-menopausal. Many women of a more mature age do not want sex. That does not mean that they are willing to let thier husbands off the leash. No way. There would be screaming and yelling, tears and tantrums or just plain cold silence. The relationship would die, just the same as it would were he caught out cheating. All the assets would be split, he would be out on his ear and she would, in most cases, have the kids. A lot of the time, nothing else is wrong with the relationship apart from sex and often all the talking in the world will not fix it. It is a lose - lose situation. If you cheat.....make sure the lie is a bloody good one.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To me, if you are in a relationship, there is love and respect. No one can say they will never have feelings or be attracted to another person but they should have the respect for the person they are with to talk to them and end the relationship if there is no way of resolving the issues before hooking up with someone just because they are bored. If they are so unhappy with there sex life maybe they need to stop and take a good look at it, they could be the reason behind the issues Msboobyz
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RHP User
14 years ago
hay i just want to add my comment on here.my husband n i meet a cpl on this site we became good friends...we play with them ..we spoke to them by ph n net..my hubby got on the net 1 day n they started talking bout 3sums this cpl wanted my hubby to go n have 3sum with them but without me pr my ok bout it. they wanted him to cheat on me n keep the affair going i found out bout it n wasnt happy.i went off at this cpl n i havent spoken to them since.i did however ask my hubby if he has done anything with them this that i should know bout he said no..we r a cpl that play together or if ok with each other we can play alone..but what i dont like is that cpl trying to break my family apart...from what i have b told she has done this b4..n broke up the marrige...she didnt get a chance to do it to mine...if u r a cpl u play together..as i state u play together u stay together....we r here to have fun to 2 have ppl break us up...u know who u r...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MsBoobyz' To me, if you are in a relationship, there is love and respect. No one can say they will never have feelings or be attracted to another person but they should have the respect for the person they are with to talk to them and end the relationship if there is no way of resolving the issues before hooking up with someone just because they are bored. If they are so unhappy with there sex life maybe they need to stop and take a good look at it, they could be the reason behind the issues Msboobyz I love all the hard and fast one rule for all circumstances decisions.OK.. the person above poses the notion that the wife is just not interested in sex citing no reason for that... and he suggested that sometimes with some people.. there's just no reasonable way of talking it through...but let's say that your future husband, the man of your dreams, for whatever reason can no longer get it up and sex as you know it with him is completely out of your life from now for "forever"... (yep... it does happen to us all one day)... and you face the next 70 years of your life without cock in your twat.... your un-movable position on that scenario is that you should love and respect him enough to just leave and end the relationship... or do you die as a sexless martyr? Before you say it... I know there re alternatives to penile penetration .. like masturbation for instance. lolz.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'melhrnygal' I couldn't agree more with you parttimedad78 and feel for anyone who has been cheated on or is being cheated on right now. I am so sick of pathetic excuses men have given me for cheating on their partners, expecting me to feel sorry for them!! I don't think so, they should talk to their partner before things get so bad that they feel the need to cheat. With a relationship/marriage comes trust and above all respect. If you can't demonstrate this, you don't have relationship and you have no right to continue taking that away from your partner. Basically, making excuses for your behaviour is about making you feel better and is purely selfish. I feel for your predicament parttimedad78, but i think all you can do is express your disapproval and encourage him to address his issues with his wife. I agree also that he needs to tell her what he has been doing if he truly does love and respect her. She should be fully informed even though it will more than likely devastate her. You're right on this .. but it all takes time. For me this has been a couple of years now, and few FWB later me and my wife are still talking... she would most times end the conversation with some kind of joke and not want to talk anymore... so I wait for the next opportunity... in the meantime I am not going to live without an exciting sex life, and there are others that are looking for the same... I love my wife, she loves me, and we have a family which we want to keep strong. At the same time she is not interested in sex apart from an occassional quickie about once a month which does it for her... without going into much detail it is one of those things that gets sorted out with time.. but there is no quick and easy solution...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Dear Beautiful, sweet angel, this is your husband. ***I love you***. I'm taking this rare and unique opportunity to step out into the light, through the cascades of rainbows which normally hide me from the world, to post one single message to you from my heart... to yours. I've just begun preparing it in draft, the final will appear here in 24 hours. It will take at least this long for me to sail within and throughout the oceans of love I have for you my girl, to ensure my message is complete, concise and considerate to you. I'm literally less than 5 minutes from where you are, please, let me be until I post.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fourp1ay' Dear Beautiful, sweet angel, this is your husband. ***I love you***. I'm taking this rare and unique opportunity to step out into the light, through the cascades of rainbows which normally hide me from the world, to post one single message to you from my heart... to yours. I've just begun preparing it in draft, the final will appear here in 24 hours. It will take at least this long for me to sail within and throughout the oceans of love I have for you my girl, to ensure my message is complete, concise and considerate to you. I'm literally less than 5 minutes from where you are, please, let me be until I post. Please don't post the final draft here. It's tacky, irrelevant and something that you should share with your wife only. I'm happy that you love your wife but seriously dude, I don't want to know the details. I won't even enter into why you think it's got anything to do with this thread... are you typing in the wrong window?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'fourp1ay' Dear Beautiful, sweet angel, this is your husband. ***I love you***. I'm taking this rare and unique opportunity to step out into the light, through the cascades of rainbows which normally hide me from the world, to post one single message to you from my heart... to yours. I've just begun preparing it in draft, the final will appear here in 24 hours. It will take at least this long for me to sail within and throughout the oceans of love I have for you my girl, to ensure my message is complete, concise and considerate to you. I'm literally less than 5 minutes from where you are, please, let me be until I post. Please don't post the final draft here. It's tacky, irrelevant and something that you should share with your wife only. I'm happy that you love your wife but seriously dude, I don't want to know the details. I won't even enter into why you think it's got anything to do with this thread... are you typing in the wrong window? Communicating with another person requires a number of conditions which must be met for it to be successful. A message that has meaning needs to be exchanged and this is my goal. Using an appropriate medium whereby my message can be transmitted with a high probability that the recipient will understand it, will accept it without too much criticism, will take it in whole instead of picking out specifics, and in this case will respect what they receive, is of paramount importance to me.Since you're not the intended recipient I understand your questioning all aspects of my delivery and its approach. It's obvious you have a lot of repect for "marriage" and/or the union that marriage represents and youre kind of looking out for me here however some end up resembling nothing remotely close to what was intended, therefore leading my selectivity forming this personally directed solution to a problem of mine which runs deeply here within this specific forum. I'm highly directed and in control of myself, in tune with the thread, just borrowing it for now since relevant and personal paths have been crossed here.I've noted your concern, thank you for taking the time to question whilst providing limited guidance and advice in this mine field...called love.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Actually I really liked the rainbow part, Snowshoe... it got me all gooey and thinking about next months parade.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'fourp1ay' Dear Beautiful, sweet angel, this is your husband. ***I love you***. I'm taking this rare and unique opportunity to step out into the light, through the cascades of rainbows which normally hide me from the world, to post one single message to you from my heart... to yours. I've just begun preparing it in draft, the final will appear here in 24 hours. It will take at least this long for me to sail within and throughout the oceans of love I have for you my girl, to ensure my message is complete, concise and considerate to you. I'm literally less than 5 minutes from where you are, please, let me be until I post. Please don't post the final draft here. It's tacky, irrelevant and something that you should share with your wife only. I'm happy that you love your wife but seriously dude, I don't want to know the details. I won't even enter into why you think it's got anything to do with this thread... are you typing in the wrong window? Communicating with another person requires a number of conditions which must be met for it to be successful. A message that has meaning needs to be exchanged and this is my goal. Using an appropriate medium whereby my message can be transmitted with a high probability that the recipient will understand it, will accept it without too much criticism, will take it in whole instead of picking out specifics, and in this case will respect what they receive, is of paramount importance to me.Since you're not the intended recipient I understand your questioning all aspects of my delivery and its approach. It's obvious you have a lot of repect for "marriage" and/or the union that marriage represents and youre kind of looking out for me here however some end up resembling nothing remotely close to what was intended, therefore leading my selectivity forming this personally directed solution to a problem of mine which runs deeply here within this specific forum. I'm highly directed and in control of myself, in tune with the thread, just borrowing it for now since relevant and personal paths have been crossed here.I've noted your concern, thank you for taking the time to question whilst providing limited guidance and advice in this mine field...called love.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The couple that swings with other couples not only is it as close to safe sex as you can get, communication levels will be excellent the couple are lovers, best mates and they only ever play together with others. The need to lie and cheat is removed. The ideal marrage / permenament relationship.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The suspense is killing me Fourp1ay... I wish you had instant posting privileges! :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' The suspense is killing me Fourp1ay... I wish you had instant posting privileges! :pHugsStalky What I'm doing is the equivalent of your avatar rotating clockwise by 33.5 degrees and losing all association with anything blue or made from cotton... I'm getting there.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fourp1ay' Quoting 'stalky' The suspense is killing me Fourp1ay... I wish you had instant posting privileges! :pHugsStalky What I'm doing is the equivalent of your avatar rotating clockwise by 33.5 degrees and losing all association with anything blue or made from cotton... I'm getting there. Similiar to Black eye peas "meet me halfway" dont you think Stalky? (see on you tube)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fourp1ay'Since you're not the intended recipient I understand your questioning all aspects of my delivery and its approach. Okay, you clearly feel you've got your reasons and I can always just skip over your final draft, but for the life of me, I don't understand why you don't go old school, with something like flowers and a hand-written note. Your wife might not even be able to tell some of her friends the full story and may feel that your message is tarnished and cheapened by the fact that you delivered it via a sex site. Your call buddy - good luck with it whatever you decide.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'CrackUp' I can't speak for others, but, in my circumstances, I have a partner of many years whom I love very much. Why do I seek another and not wish him to know - well..partly I guess, cowardice but not of the ramifications for me. I am scared of hurting him unspeakably. How do you tell the loving partner who has been your rock all this time, that his sexual dysfunction is forcing you outside the marital bounds. Yes, there is viagra etc but if it is in part psychological, all you do by telling is make that even worse and no volume of stiffy pills can surmount a mental block. If no amount of 'discussion' changes the psychology which underwrites his problems - what then? Do you leave a good marriage for sex? Do you 'tell' and risk crucifying him and his esteem as a man? Do you sacrifice yourself to a life of inadequate and resentful sex? I don't think there are any easy answers. No one size fits all. As with all things, in which people judge others, you need to walk a mile in their shoes before you can even attempt to understand the complexities involved. There is I believe, an argument for the saying 'ignorance is bliss'. well... you spoke for me, as it is exactly what I would say just from a male point of view...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Perspective is an interesting thing! We all had our unique experiences in life, hence we judge any given situation according to our point of view. I loved reading comments of people slamming the block for cheating on his wife and I also loved reading people sympathising with him.Let's not forget that our responses stem from our personal life experiences and there is no right or wrong. I am in a somewhat similar situation where me and my wife love each other and do have OK sex life, but I need more and crave variety. I have brought this subject up on a number of occasions and suggested that perhaps we should consider spicing up our sex life. Every time I bring up this subject - she gets upset thinking that there is something wrong with her. I keep telling her that it is not her and that it is just that we have different needs. She does not want to change anything, refuses to even consider anything other than traditional sex life. You see, she's got everything she wants so in her eyes she does not want to change something that's already perfect. Although I can't blame her - it is obviously not enough for me. On a number of times I have suggested a threesome either with another man or a woman, but for her it is not even an option. Initially I wasn't interested in seeking female friends with benefits as I wanted to always involve my wife, but since she is not up for it, I am presented with 2 choices: stay faithful but unsatisfied or have occasional sex on the side - hence cheating.Who's to say what's right or wrong here?I would, however, like to hear what fellow RHP members have to say.Thanks in advance.
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