M46
"Discretion": Is it code for cheating?
September 24 2017
Comments
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
It's a popular saying/request. Bit like the Sydney University research statement used to be. And just as useless. It goes without saying to someone with half a brain that discretion is normal manners. If someone needs to be told to be discreet, chances are, it won't be given.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' It's a popular saying/request. Bit like the Sydney University research statement used to be. And just as useless. It goes without saying to someone with half a brain that discretion is normal manners. If someone needs to be told to be discreet, chances are, it won't be given. I don't think it's that easy to throw a blanket statement over the whole shebang... But you are of course entitled to your opinion. Oh and to your toady... the one who isn't speaking to me (if only that were true) It was a girlfriend of mine who signed up to a dating site and I went along with her to the interview where she gave her details and did a video. I have a photo of her coming out of the building afterwards after waiting in the car for her. Taken on real film and sent to be developed... Hasn't life changed... Individual with varied experiences & perspectives, PeachyPearL
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
I think you must like quoting me. And who the fuck is my Toady?
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RHP User
7 years ago
That was incredibly rude of me. I'm sorry Touch, it's not okay for me to sink to a level I have no admiration for. All the best... PeachyPearL
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RHP User
7 years ago
All good 😂😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks for all your responses! I didn't really intend to start such a massive thread on here, I just wanted to check if "discretion" was a code word for cheating in the swinging community really....I guess it makes sense that it's all very contextual, as I suspected anyway... Coming from being solo polyamorous for so many years, it's actually easy for me to forget just how controversial a nonmonogamous lifestyle can be. And I forget sometimes that being essentially "single" actually shields me from a lot of the stigma. I mean, behind the scenes my lifestyle is actually pretty radical - and clashes with a lot of the traditional values that nonmonogamous lifestyle tend to clash with - but ultimately, I can mostly get away with appearing as a "single person who is 'dating around non-exclusively'" (which is almost normal in more progressive circles in Western culture lately). And that probably diffuses a lot of the scorn that other people face - especially those in visibly "coupled" relationships. Anyway, I can appreciate better now what people mean by needing discretion. On every level discussed (not that I ever needed input on the basic respect and privacy aspect of course). Thanks for all your input. :)
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cat_n_the_hatter
7 years ago
For those who are religious they should remember that God is omnipresent and, therefore, ffm mfmf fmm ff mm mmmmf fffffm and all other combinations should include G (unless one takes him as another m) and consider god's bad reputation with "kiss and tell
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RHP User
7 years ago
For someone with half a brain, discretion is normal manners 😇
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting you first> "It was a girlfriend of mine who signed up to a dating site and I went along with her to the interview where she gave her details and did a video. I have a photo of her coming out of the building afterwards after waiting in the car for her. Taken on real film and sent to be developed... Hasn't life changed..." Yes life has changed, so much so we now have the internet and websites, commonly referred to as sites. The internet didn't arrive in homes until the 90's. Prior to the internet, dating agencies advertised across various forms of media, I never used one, but they were not referred to as 'sites'. They were called what they were, dating agencies. Incredibly different to the internet where indiscretion shows it's ugly face online, privacy broken and slander takes on a whole new meaning. How would you be indiscreet back then, tell your best friend or Joe Bloggs up the road? Hardly the same thing although dynamics/status/type of dating service/what colour underwear they wear etc 😀 still makes no difference IMO re where I stand with discretion (see above comment) but felt the need to explain following the tanty 😀
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'PeachyPearL'NoQuoting 'I_touch_myself2'and yet you've been on dating sites since the 80's 🐒 Maybe that was a typo 😇 It wasn't... You seem obsessed with my honesty lately Touch... But no, not a typo but a fact that makes me giggle. Before he and I joined RHP 10 years ago, we used a newspaper personals add and telephone to set up a meet. I've written about it in the fora before. An unexpectedly horny encounter... I'll never think of spring water in quite the same way... PeachyPearL Quoting 'I_touch_myself2'peachyQuoting you> "On the other hand, having had a lot to do with dating sites since they first became a thing back in the 1980s" Sites aren't private ads or agencies? And since the internet didn't arrive in homes until the 90's 🐒 So don't pass the buck to me, they were your words, albeit confusing Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Quoting you first> "It was a girlfriend of mine who signed up to a dating site and I went along with her to the interview where she gave her details and did a video. I have a photo of her coming out of the building afterwards after waiting in the car for her. Taken on real film and sent to be developed... Hasn't life changed..." Yes life has changed, so much so we now have the internet and websites, commonly referred to as sites. The internet didn't arrive in homes until the 90's. Prior to the internet, dating agencies advertised across various forms of media, I never used one, but they were not referred to as 'sites'. They were called what they were, dating agencies. Incredibly different to the internet where indiscretion shows it's ugly face online, privacy broken and slander takes on a whole new meaning. How would you be indiscreet back then, tell your best friend or Joe Bloggs up the road? Hardly the same thing although dynamics/status/type of dating service/what colour underwear they wear etc 😀 still makes no difference IMO re where I stand with discretion (see above comment) but felt the need to explain following the tanty 😀 To clarify now that I have some idea of what your mysterious posts mean... So I looked at the timeline of online dating on Wiki where anyone else can check what I am talking about. I might have made a mistake about the online part of it because of the video my friend made at the time, which I assumed had to be looked at somewhere! But looking at the timeline on Wiki, it is probably Great Expectations' that was founded in 1976 that I meant. I turned 18 in 1981, so I guessed the timeline to be around there. Other than that, following the timeline on Wiki... Matchmaker.com was founded in 1986. I don't see how any of it has any relevance to the topic though, aside from picking at my wording. All you had to do was ask a simple question. So, I'm glad you finally explained your vague remarks. Thanks. A simple speaking and explaining to me would have given me a far better chance for understanding and replying on a different equal level. Are you kidding about needing discretion back in the 80s? Dating sites weren't anywhere near as accepted then as it is now and discretion was the byword. My experience has come a long way from then though and dating sites (whatever you want to call them) are not as looked down the same they were back then. So TO ME, singles are not in as much need of discretion in this day and age. Couples obviously are because swinging is still not accepted. Nothing to do with having half a brain, just different outlooks and experiences. I've had contact with the swinging society since the 60s, I have a very different perspective from most due to that experience I imagine. PeachyPearL PS: I'll do us all a favour and ignore future vague comments from you and anyone else.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Duly noted
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RHP User
7 years ago
I see I mixed your thread up with a different one about 'Discretion'! Sorrry... PeachyPearL
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have to take you up on one point. You say singles don't need discretion in this day and age because we're not looked down on? What if, now think carefully about this, but what if we don't care about that, or the next reason you come up with, or the one after that? It's not your place to be deciding who deserves discretion according to a genre/stereotype/marital status. You and Fred seem to be conveniently avoiding the specifics of what has been thrown back at you, instead talking around it. Here's the thing, we want our privacy and we deserve that. The reasons don't matter, it's common courtesy. I maintain we are all individuals, the other lame factors you mention regarding singles make zero difference and apply to the two individuals in a couple also. You could be single tomorrow, would you suddenly be fine with being offered less respect? Yes peachy, discretion equals respect, certainly in relation to this that we do here. I'm not afraid of being found out, that bird has flown, and I don't fear I would be looked down on and even if I were, I couldn:t care less. So that begs the question, what will your counter reason be now. I'm fascinated, actually no I'm not, I'm horrified anyone could be so disrespectful. One thing I do know is topics like this help filter out those we have concerns about. Thanks op, nice one 😉
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RHP User
7 years ago
Roll your eyes all you like, I imagine it will turn the stomach of others the way it has been me, just makes you look bitter
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sexslaves
7 years ago
They say professional orgoverment job it hss got me your on these sites if they are looking well they are pn the site too so there is a goid chamce they are not going to out you - Posted from rhpmobile
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PurePeony
7 years ago
When I first joined RHP, I used the word, "discreet" in my profile to describe the type of man I was seeking. That was before I realised the implications of that word on this site and with this community. When I mentioned "discreet", I mean not gossiping, not revealing my personal details to others, not publicising our sexual trysts and/or arrangements, and possessing a mutual understanding and respect that whatever is said behind closed doors or during pillow talk, stays that way. Unfortunately, there are people here who are pretty loose-lipped gossip mongers. Some unethical people kiss and tell too, very crass. The need for discretion doesn't always mean that someone's cheating on their spouse/partner. It could simply mean that someone highly values their privacy, have careers/ children to protect, or they simply like to "box up" their lives and not have what goes on in their sexual lives spillover into all other areas of their lives. Same word, many different uses and many different interpretations. 😉
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Sexymilf
7 years ago
I would say it can go either way. Some people have a high profile professional career or may have children so would prefer to keep their sexual activity private. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheating. - Posted from rhpmobile
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gazpacho
7 years ago
It’s got an ordinary meaning. It means I’m not going to wander in to your family Christmas party with your grandma and all, and start blabbing on about what you stuck in your arse last Friday. Hugs G - Posted from rhpmobile
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bonefide
7 years ago
I'd pay for an invite to that party! "Barzinga" Me too
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FredAndGinger2
7 years ago
My understanding of the word discreet is in line with the dictionary meaning. Cambridge Dictionary: Careful not to cause embarrassment or attract too much attention, especially by keeping something secret: The family made discreet enquiries about his background. They are very good assistants, very discreet - they wouldn't go talking to the press. ------ Yep, that's what we expect when we state that on our profile. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Popcorn anyone ☺ plenty of room on my couch 😄
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RHP User
7 years ago
talking about what you need I see. Awesome stuff, love your work 😯
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
on the couch ,oops no undies , helllllooooo itouch how you doing - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
When we used it in our couple profile... it was with the thought that couple swinging is far less accepted than 'online dating' for singles. Simple as that. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Stop, you're getting me all excited 😊
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
i hear your couch has plastic wrapping ,get as excited as you want ,lmao - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Truer than you realise. Had a guy here one day, things started on my new 'fabric' couch. I quickly ushered him off to the bedroom, bed has a waterproof tablecloth under the sheets lol he wanted to stay where we were, had to convince him it wouldn't be a good idea. He realised why soon enough 😊 I wasn't about to wreck my new couch 😂😂
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CuteCouplePlus1
7 years ago
A public forum to define discreet on a raunchy website is one of the most amusing things we've come across so far. Just to be discreet and all would mean to not be drawing attention to yourself or for further explanation I'd refer to https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/usage/discreet-or-discrete - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
So here is something to think about. First of all, discretion could be to protect perceptions of children, parents, workplace, small community anything. However there are lot of people here who are single, or attached who for what ever reason, are looking for something. This is a pretty liberal site/community so we can probably respect the persons request for discretion.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I live in an open relationship with my partner of 12 years so I have heard the expression discretion a few times.whilst I am sure that the term is used by people who do cheat, my own experience has taught me that people want discretion for many reasons, been a well known person in the community is one good, or just wanting the choice to live ones life, without judgement is also high up one the list - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Can mean Cheating. Value my privacy so I expect complete discretion from any of my playmates for some of the reasons already mentioned.Small community, family and just out of general respect for the other party. It's not my place to judge people on how they conduct themselves as far as cheating goes. It is also not my job to disclose if they are.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It depends on a few variables, including your degree of cynicism.
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Loves2Play2016
7 years ago
We are the same we love the lifestyle but Dark forces in the Vanilla world always seek to destroy peoples private & professional lives.
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