F55
Alpha Males
January 02 2015
Comments
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QLDtwo4fun
10 years ago
To me it is a term assigned in the study of animals to the leader in a group. The alpha male usually goes through some process of fighting or challenging to take control of the group and access the groups best resources, be it food or mates. The alpha male looses his status the same way and is often then ostracised from the group. They cannot turn it off and on, while there may be pleasure associated with the role there is also a lot of anxiety and watching your own back.
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RHP User
10 years ago
To me an Alpha male is someone who has an abundance of confidence, and will persue anyone he pleases, whilst still having enough self control and knowledge of how women will react to him without coming across as a gigantic sleaze bag. I think the term is a bit of a misnomer though, as different women will react in different ways to a wide variety of men, be it Alpha, Beta or whatever you want to call them.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
What is your definition of submissive - I know an alpha male :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Firstly you need to identify the Alpha personality, which involves a psychological analaysis, not the pop psych crap which also claims a person can become an Alpha or looks at some superficial results and not the underlying traits. I am travelling at the moment and don't have access to my reference materials but generally the Alpha personality (which can be both male or female although empirical studies show a male predominance) seeks to take a leading role. The personality typing actually arose in the context of examining physical disease (Alphas have a tendency to early cardiac disease and cancer). There are 6 characteristic traits, so that not all Alphas are the same depending on the mix of traits, and those traits may manifest themselves in both positive and negative manners. Persons who are not Alpha will ape Alpha conduct or claim to have that personality type out of a sense of inferiority and you need to look beyond the superficial to see if they meet the clinical criteria. Generally, an Alpha will want to take a leadership role rather than be led, and so would generally not surrender control in a D/s, or at least not get any emotional reward from doing so. However, depending the circumstances of the acts, an Alpha may be topping from the bottom, that is still controlling the play by directing the act to be done to them. Secondly, not all Alphas are Dominants and not all Dominants are Alpha. I agree that there is a general proclivity for Dominants to have an Alpha personality and I have yet to meet a submissive Alpha, but in theory it is possible, in a black swan way. It may also be that tha Alpha is not into the lifestyle but their partner is so that they do acts in which the Alpha takes the submissive role without understanding the nature of the role. As the OP says, it is then a question whether the Alpha is happy doing this. Finally, a Dominant Alpha can engage in, and enjoy, some submissive acts whilst still being consistent with their personality type. There is no 100% all day every day directive for how to behave as an Alpha as these are just an aggregation of personality traits from across a significant number of people which demonstrate a commonality of behaviour. The people still retain their individuality which may include some activities not shared by the rest. The fact that a person who is an Alpha enjoys some submissive play doesn't mean that they are not an Alpha when looked at on the broader personality context. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Phwoar!! Hubba hubba to the man with the big brain xxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Alpha Male: a man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations. I tend to want to slap these guys in the face and tell them to get over themselves. Reckon that makes me a Domme?
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On_Safari
10 years ago
I love alpha males, what I love about them is the dominance they exhibit, self assuredness, strength, intelligence, no nonsense. My Lion was accustomed to having people ask how high to jump to please him in his career. Everyone constantly striving to suck up his arse or curry favour. My most recent lover to a degree also. I've found these kinds of men whilst enjoying and preferring the dominant role in every facet of life also have moments when they need to be submissive, playful, subservient. To have control taken away, or the semblance of it so they can have that burden of control lifted briefly. It's a gift to be given control of their pleasure. My viewpoint anyway. What makes an alpha male/femme? Someone who knows their own mind. Knows what thry want and possess the intelligence, drive and determination to get it. There's alot of wannabes out there. am I an alpha femme? Don't know......sometimes yes sometimes no. As I get older though I think yes. Something to be said fir getting old...., experience.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
resonate with that entire post......flippn heck where to start with questions....another time... Ive been described as an Alpha Male a number of times in my life........to be honest way back as the young 20ish SA I had no idea of what the heck it was that id just been described as....was it good? was it bad? was it hot? was it not?.....of course all comes back to others perception.... Alphas could be submissive I feel...Ive not been....but as you say simple.....for some Alphas it would be about providing the other with the emotional sensations they valued...The alphas reward would come from seeing it take place & equally facilitating it...sounds v v v horny.......but emotionally although it would appear otherwise some Alphas would feel well in control because it was their choice to provide the other with what they wanted, and that was their motivation to do such...... Alpha out... So if im alpha how did I develop sensitivity?.....ooops sorry meeka, another time simple....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Didnt you read my profile .... :) I am the absolute perfection of an Alpha male.... FFS stop making me blush!~ hahahha... you are killing me :) lol..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Based on the dictionary definition it states the domineering role is in social or professional situations...therefore doesn't that explain why you hear BDSM Mistresses talk about how politicians, judges, lawyers, business men, athletes, etc like to give their power away for an hour or two in their dungeons and be submissive? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I personally think they are people who are secure in themselves...leaders..people who attract others...people who have strength,courage,kindness....a strong mind isn't a submissive mind but it may be that that Alpha personality may enjoy role playing the submissive...or stepping out of their leadership role ,giving the control over to another,but only for a short time,or in a particular circumstance... But are they really not still in a way in control? I think many people confuse a bossy personality,an insecure control freak with an Alpha personality..Alphas don't need to control,they just do xxFreya
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madotara69
10 years ago
Of course he can, he can do whatever he wants. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I always thought an alpha was a mans man ? The steak and 3 veggie type every night? The guy that drinks only beer as water is for girls... Or maybe that's the traits of the traddie lol
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Missb4u
10 years ago
can you please expand on this sentence as I don't want to be misunderstand you. "people who have strength,courage,kindness....a strong mind isn't a submissive mind" some would say I am submissive in certain situations (sexual situations) but I have the traits you describe and I certainly wouldn't say I don't have a strong mind. I have two very different sides to me and don't think you can just say because "they" project one image to the world then that is how they are in all situations. in every part of my life I am the alpha but when it comes to a sexual encounter I find enjoyment and pure peace in surrendering control.
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On_Safari
10 years ago
I think Freya is saying a strong mind remains a strong mind even when that mind chooses to be submissive.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
as I find that really insulting.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I personally think they are people who are secure in themselves...leaders..people who attract others...people who have strength,courage,kindness....a strong mind isn't a submissive mind but it may be that that Alpha personality may enjoy role playing the submissive...or stepping out of their leadership role ,giving the control over to another,but only for a short time,or in a particular circumstance... But are they really not still in a way in control? I think Freya described how she sees an Alpha female, which I think is exactly how you described yourself. Secure in yourself, but enjoying stepping out of your leadership role, choosing to give control away for a while. People who have a submissive mind don't choose to give their power away, I think. They have or had it taken from them beyond their control.
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madotara69
10 years ago
RUOK MissB
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Missb4u
10 years ago
meander... That makes more sense to my fuddled brain. I'm climbing back under my rock now into my sickness hole. yes mado thanks doing ok
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RHP User
10 years ago
*Gentle hug*
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RHP User
10 years ago
is a person who is capable to lead...they do not submit or follow, unless it is to submit to a higher authority, i.e. boss, business, etc, to enhance their own ability to lead those who follow them. For a true alpha, submission is not necessary to the alpha's followers as an alpha is the leader...others always look to them and willingly submit, trusting in their ability to lead - which would also include fairness, sacrifice (of time and resources) and wisdom. Then their are control freaks, abusers, bullies and tyrants - they are NOT ALPHA, but rather, are week and abusive.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Warning69' I always thought an alpha was a mans man ? The steak and 3 veggie type every night? The guy that drinks only beer as water is for girls... Or maybe that's the traits of the traddie lol that sounds more like a Neanderthal, definitely not alpha.
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RHP User
10 years ago
just be themselves without the psychological analysis??? It's a ridiculous notion to suggest one "type" of personality needs to be xyz in order to be seen as abc or in this case an alpha... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
But I'm probably an omega.
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madotara69
10 years ago
Fun, all your friends reckon you don't have any restraints.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' But I'm probably an omega. I don't want an Alpha, but I'd be more than happy to Tango and drink Whisky in a Hotel with Charlie, Juliet, Mike, Oscar, Romeo and Sierra. Bravo.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' just be themselves without the psychological analysis??? It's a ridiculous notion to suggest one "type" of personality needs to be xyz in order to be seen as abc or in this case an alpha... - Posted from rhpmobile There aren't that many 'personality types' and its important to be aware of where we personally fit...self awareness is power.
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RHP User
10 years ago
are natural born leaders to me. They don't need to be aware of their behaviour, they just are, they have a presence and an alluring quality that draws people to them. There are plenty of people who like to think they are alpha but who never have the respect of others to truly pull it off. They command a room, they control without effort, they are fair and just and have a air of confidence that seems more like a birthright than a show for others. And yes I think they can be submissive and enjoy it. Being Alpha to me is a package that can deal with all sorts of situations with a calm facade, I wouldn't even say they feel like they are giving up control because I don't think an Alpha necessarily seeks control, it just happens.
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RHP User
10 years ago
isn't exhausting though?? You meet someone and analyse the crap out of them to find where they fit??? It's all too much drama for my liking....if I like someone I just like them...I care not for the why, or that they're an alpha with a double half pike with a 3/4 twist cross bred with a pure bred double front somersault with a reverse inside out jelly fish.... Holy crap...any wonder we see so many first world issues here.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
An alpha doesn't wait for others to make decisions, plans, or to pursue their great big fat throbbing vision. They also don't need to tell others, they're an alpha.
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' But I'm probably an omega. I would have said an enigma
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RHP User
10 years ago
A challenge to crack that code 😉xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
I thank Indy and Meander for their explanations..I certainly didn't intend to offend...and it is just my thoughts..On a lighter note,it was rumoured that Margaret Thatcher's Ministers all referred to her as the Head Mistress 😜..I often wondered if she gave them a spam king when they were naughty 😄xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79'that Margaret Thatcher's Ministers all referred to her as the Head Mistress 😜..I often wondered if she gave them a spam king when they were naughty I also wonder if the Iron Lady ruled them all with an iron fist...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Cuckle_shells' we all wear different hats at different times and that someone can be considered an alpha male in their workplace and home life for instance but in their sexual life they may take on a more submissive role. This is the case with my partner. Some people have commented to me in the past that they couldn't be a Cuck like my partner because they are too masculine. This is an interesting term. They felt that because my partner is a Cuck that it makes him less masculine in some way. I am not sure how you define the term masculine and how being submissive makes you less so. Also you then have people that are switches. That is some circumstances like to be dominant and then in other cases like to be submissive. Shells. American pro porn portrays all cucks to be pathetic sissified submissive wimps...a total misconception & because the internet is saturated with it, the people who google "cuckold" are left with the impression that is void of reality. Simpleneeds....thankyou, awesome definition Freya....great response
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RHP User
10 years ago
I loathe autocorrect,but that was not just funny but given the Brits fondness for luncheon meat,ironic...spanking,I meant spanking 😀xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
i have noticed there is alpha and then there is the alpha packs alpha.. It maybe possible but it would take a truly dominant person to be able to sub a natural master, as we always submit to who we get the vibe we should sub to.. saying that sometimes in an alphas world he may meet a nice woman who is not even that dom that he could consider maybe giving one night of not much control to.. thats happened to me but it didnt go any further than just considering and maybe even trying to let her have her way but truly not being able to not take control .. it all starts with the look the eyes the vibe and the smell its not an act or talk or the words chosen to say etc..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Anyone can be an alpha. The role is dependent on the people in the group. The Alpha is simply the individual that others submit to and depends on who is in the group. In humans the alpha is usually the risk taker, the intellectual, the fittest, not strongest, not the ego driven, and rarely the narcissistic. Alphas are well regarded and personable individuals with above average social skills. In any group the alpha may be male or female but the tendency is towards males. Within mixed gender groups there is a tendency for there to be two alphas one male and one female. There are generally no specific traits that identify Alphas as the can only be defined in terms of group or social dynamics. Because of the nature of alpha to have well developed social skills, alphas can readily submit to a more worthy individual. Alphas may not even be aware that others look at them for leadership. The alpha role is given at a subconscious level in most cases. So to the OPs question. Yes, their very nature does not require the dominate role, they are just as comfortable to be lead as to lead. It is in their nature to want a coherent and functioning social group and at times as the demands and requirements of the group change in differing circumstance the role of alpha will switch between individuals. Dominant ego driven individuals may seize control with aggressive behavior and though appearing to be the alpha the actual alpha still leads group decisions. Though the aggressive can make decisions the group will await conformation from the alpha. The alpha submits to the aggressive individual for the benefit of the group. The alpha is seldom ego driven in humans unless backed up with the skill the ego portrays. Dominant (seeking) people that are driven by ego with a natural tendency to narcissistic traits. Due to their poor social skills they are not naturally looked at for leadership. This causes them condemnation and they battle it by disrupting group cohesion by subjugating the weakest, which invariably leads to even less trust and submission from the group. Doms are seldom alphas, as individuals in the group look for leadership, not out of a need to submit, but a need to succeed as a group. Doms end up being ostracized from the group ending up as loners or moving from one group to the next.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That an alpha is certainly not a follower, but why a leader ? I've always assumed an alpha is simply "his own man", whilst being confident and strong about it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Simpleneeds has said an alpha male still controls the play even though he is acting in the submissive role. So he is still controlling the situation. So he isn't really being submissive is he?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Nobody is analysising anything. I just found it courious that someone said an alpha male can be submissive. I just thought the actual definition of alpha would mean they could never "truly be submissive". It came up in the CreamPie thread. Go read it and tell me what you think... Just as a for fun question, I am not asking you to find the solution for world peace. ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm just jealous cos I'm a switch 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't think being an alpha and being submissive are mutually exclusive - You could have someone who is 'alpha' demand that you treat them as a sub whilst still being in control of the situation. I'd imagine this is similar in cases where people are playing role reversals.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just blokes with to much testerone or huge egos obsessed with themselves a by product of the modern world who gives anyone the right to be dominating of anyone else wheres the equality in that way of thinking.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'randypantz' Just blokes with to much testerone or huge egos obsessed with themselves a by product of the modern world who gives anyone the right to be dominating of anyone else wheres the equality in that way of thinking. Wrong.... and frankly a bit jaded. True alpha, by definition does exist. However.... what most guys believe to be alpha... is false confidence dressed up as alpha.They typically deliberately seek to display what they think are alpha traits, but end up repelling the very women they're trying to impress. They force the body language, they denigrate others to elevate themselves, they fake their confidence, play little games, and end up acting childishly, and offensively. I might "dominate" my working world.... my sporting arena, or the path i choose to walk with big motherfucking steps towards the goals I set for myself. If others are challenged by that.... can't keep up.... or.... if they're living their own deliberate destiny and choose their own different path...... then that is not my issue to deal with as I'm not living their life.... but mine. I don't call myself alpha.... I just live to my own standards, choices and by a determined path towards a determined future. If others call me alpha, thats a tag they've decided upon. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
An Alpha male is never submissive . Had an ex fwb of mine that was Alpha in every way and .. he wouldn't even oblige me with a mmf as he was against anyone outdoing him .. or any man bits touching him in anyway whatsoever which really sucked as - he would have been the most perfect candidate in every way to experience a mmf with ! I actually didn't want a mmf with anyone but him but alas .. we parted ways and he never once even would consider for a second indulging me with this . He was also anything but submissive in any respect . Aggressive and in control of the situation at all times actually .
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madotara69
10 years ago
Alpha male is not about standing over people, nor controlling them, the alpha sees the whole picture and looks out over it and cares to it, that earns the alpha respect and when respected trusted and when trusted befriended and when the alpha keeps to all that then that is what the alpha is, male, female, even the 10 year old kid. That's actually equality. The way I see it. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Goodvintage
10 years ago
The letter A in Greek. Refers to a A Male... Until someone decided to define it... So that people can judge the definition...
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madotara69
10 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Alpha male is not about standing over people, nor controlling them, the alpha sees the whole picture and looks out over it and cares to it, that earns the alpha respect and when respected trusted and when trusted befriended and when the alpha keeps to all that then that is what the alpha is, male, female, even the 10 year old kid. That's actually equality. The way I see it. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
when I say aggressive and in control of the situation .. I mean only sexually aggressive and in control in the bedroom .. didn't like being outdone in that respect .. he had to be better than everyone else in that dep lol .
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RHP User
10 years ago
like I said alpha males believe they are better thn everyone else pretty sad really
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RHP User
10 years ago
There seems to be some confusion as to what is defined as an alpha. There is the sociological alpha defined by social interaction and group dynamics, and there is the archetypal alpha, defined in stories and myth. The two are completely different. The mythical alpha takes control by will of ego, the social alpha is given control by right of aptitude. I guess this thread is about the Alpha of myth and stories. He represents the warrior, the lover, the king. He may be good or evil. His power is derived from strength of body. His position is held by threat of aggression. He is irresistible to women, fearless in the face of battle, and a jealousy holder of power. To submit in any way is seen as the ultimate defeat, even worse that death. He would sooner die in the his quest to hold power rather than to submit to any other. This role no longer has a place in our society apart from fiction. We are no longer are ruled by kings, the lover can not take, and the warrior does not fight for personal glory, but this is the stomping ground of fiction where the dream can still exist. It is clear many aspire to the myth, it is evident in the responses and it is a perfectly normal male behavior. Us men are driven by ego and the ego requires feeding, especially in front of the potencial lovers. There can be only one alpha, I wonder if that person knows, or others are aware. This will be a interesting thread to follow.
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RHP User
10 years ago
why many are assuming alphas to be doms when many have also argued that ultimately it is the subs that hold the power.
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madotara69
10 years ago
The power of one. Bit like having the battery strapped to the side of a torch, press the button all day not much lights gonna happen.
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RHP User
10 years ago
An alpha male, to answer your question, is a male with a certain mindset or attitude about how he deal with life. The byproduct of this is several qualities that he embodies including presence / living in the moment. Consequently, he has no ego, or has a healthy ego and is aware of it. He is able to get on with anyone and appeal to their ego. If he needs to be submissive for his partner for the night he is able to be that even though he may have a dominant attitude about life. Some "alpha males" may not be able to be submissive as they may not like or enjoy it. And for others, it might mess with their self image. Not black and white. - Posted from rhpmobile
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team_Pringle
10 years ago
Alpha Male - Posted from rhpmobile
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blackbig
10 years ago
Thank you🙏 I am feeling educated about the topic now 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Subs can use the safe word to stop the play at any time they do not feel comfortable or want to stop, sure. But does that give them the ultimate power? I don't think so, not when they are with an amazing dom person(s) and they have really let go off their inhibitions. They are not directing or controlling the play so to speak. Anyway, there is a million variations of sub and dom and changes from day to day from person to person.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think it has a lot to do with where you are from. I am a highlander from Scotland, I was brought up to believe that it is my role to protect my family, and without trying to be sexist especialy women. I am very confident in my role as protector. However, I will want the best looking and smartest woman as my lover and would be prepared to fight for her. Would I back down to someone bigger and stronger? No.....an alpha male will die first...
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's a largely-meaningless term, or euphemism, people use to defend shitty behaviour or excuse shyness. People like to pigeonhole themselves with names like this, and 'introvert', and 'foodie' (please consult nearest mirror and apply a sharp uppercut to own face if you refer to yourself as a 'foodie', by the way). Be your own person, and stop need to hide behind stupid shit like this.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'in_2_u_74' An Alpha male is never submissive . Had an ex fwb of mine that was Alpha in every way and .. he wouldn't even oblige me with a mmf as he was against anyone outdoing him .. or any man bits touching him in anyway whatsoever which really sucked as - he would have been the most perfect candidate in every way to experience a mmf with ! I actually didn't want a mmf with anyone but him but alas .. we parted ways and he never once even would consider for a second indulging me with this . He was also anything but submissive in any respect . Aggressive and in control of the situation at all times actually . --- ... He was utterly insecure. This is why the term is essentially meaningless. People think it to mean some sort of heroic superman of assertiveness, but most often when traits are explained it sounds much more like insecurity and fearfulness.
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str8service
10 years ago
If anyone knows one, send him my way and get him to put me in my place 😈 - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
10 years ago
He was a bloke who thought he was a man. Just saying. It's ok to have differences of opinions but quite frankly I think alot here haven't actually met the calibre the "alpha" term refers. I've worked in male dominated industry all my life at the coalface and at corporate level and I've really only met 1 man I'd say was a true alpha (and his status was at global level), a couple of others great at harnessing and encouraging the cohesion and development of their workforce/teams to achieve and one or two alpha within their marriage, career, family life. That just means there are sub-species of alpha in society. It is patently obvious though that a lot of men/women wish they were something that in fact they aren't.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm obviously not an alpha 'male', but I've certainly been referred to as an alpha female more than once. I generally don't like using labels because I really don't fit into any one 'box' but for the sake of this thread, I won't get to bogged down in that. That being said... I'm a leader, I don't like to follow and be told what to do and how to do it in my day to day life by regular Jo blows. I'm also submissive to my core :) I can see how that may seem contradictory to some and while Id love to go into detail about how that works, I simply can't be bothered :P and most people still wouldn't get it anyway. In response to your OP the answer is yes! An alpha personality be it man or woman can absolutely be a true submissive. I've known more than a few men who are 'alpha personalities' in their day to day lives who are also amazing submissives to their Dommes...in fact, it's very common for Dominants to look for strength of character in potential subs. Let's not get submissives confused with doormats. In regards to 'who' has the ultimate power in D/s (an ongoing and old debate in the lifestyle), it's both. A Dominant is forever seeking consent from a submissive and without it, there would be no exchange in power, and no one to control and direct (if there was, that would be abuse). Even when you have an amazing Dom (as you put it) and allow yourself to let go YOU the sub are still choosing to let go. It's about much more than just a safe word. Of course a Dominant can also end that exchange in power by walking away and that's where part of the 'want' to obey and be a good submissive generates from. It's a beautiful illusion to believe that one can simply hand their entire self to another, but that's all it is - a beautiful illusion. Unless you're bound and gagged all day every day, you absolutely have the choice to walk away. Hope this helps xo - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Topping from the bottom is different again. Not all 'alphas' Top from the bottom. Just as not all shy people are natural submissives. Shy nerdy types can make wonderful Dominants... As you've said, there are so many different forms of dynamics and people within them and not all are simply role playing in the bedroom. Some actually 'live' D/s :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
does not produce bad fruit..............Whilst theres no doubt Alphas are leaders the Smartest Alphas are people who effortlessly inspire others to be the best they can be for themselves thus the group in which they the Alpha has found him/her self leading...the notion of positive psychology - Yes? However a bad tree does not produce good fruit....On the other end of the social spectrum is the Narcissist. Yes they can be seen as leaders but upon inspecting their model - the complete opposite is apparent; denigration, humiliation, and any negative they can manipulate for their own rewards, incapable of caring much less being aware of the impact of their doctrine. Study them for our own personal growth but never openly fear them if that is your feeling work on separating it. OP Alphas could conduct submissive acts.
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LetsFrolic
10 years ago
Alpha males (stereotypically the ones that have to act macho as a persoanlity) tend to be homophobic and that usually means they refuse to be in touch with their "feminine side" .. usually a homosexual refusing to come to terms with themselves so they make themselves more aggressive and appear dominant in ordwr to hide it and prove to others they arent how they really are.. True alpha males as in not the stereotypical ones that have yo show dominance .. are usually more relaxed and happy to show sensuality as they know its real. They are the ones girls uaually reject as being too nice or soft or easy.. fact is theyre too mature to play games.- these are sometimes the ones that do weights as being sick of being bullied by the stereotypical alpha males as ybeyve used them to pick on yo try and display they are dominant.. the real ones aka mellow nice guys dont need to prove it so they put up with the others shit because its basically them being insecure and whinging. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
10 years ago
I could take that last post as at me, seeing you chose not to honour the conversation. As a cheap shot Belief has its merits, so does truth. I cannot for my beliefs have a cheap shot pass by, when it disrespects people I respect. Some people do things better than others and some do it the best. Its sad you can't see the difference with deeds measured by actions.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I just read some rather concerning and extremely incorrect comments in regards to a submissive mind :/ Freya - "a strong mind is not a submissive mind"? Bolox! It takes a very strong mind to be any kind of a decent submissive! You clearly know very little of what you're talking about, so I'd urge you to stop! Meander - yikes!!! That's harsh!!! I have a VERY 'submissive mind' and I have NEVER had my power taken from me against my will. That would be abuse wouldn't it? That's not a submissive, that's a victim! It's quite the opposite in D/s. Submission is earned, not just taken! It's all about consent and trust of the deepest kind, and the submissive happily aligning their own will with that of the Dominant. It's all very confusing to the vanilla eye no doubt, but please don't assume...nothing is ever as it first appears when it comes to D/s - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
When a alpha male chooses to submit he does it by choice to do so and its a sign of commitment when he does it for his sexual equal or partner - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
So much irony here this thread is magnetic.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Obviously you aren't quite so shy,and you have no idea obviously as to what I meant,and like you,I don't like being told what to do...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with DG,anyone who says they are an Alpha,isn't...but you can go online and do a test.
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RHP User
10 years ago
No need to yell like that.
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RHP User
10 years ago
well if I've managed to misunderstand you (which I doubt) then you've repaid me the favor. I never said I or anyone else I was referring to claimed to be an 'alpha' - perhaps we're on different wave lengths you and I! Meander - I wasn't yelling, it'd all have been in bold if that was the case :P - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Freya - I attacked what you said because it 'appeared' extremely mislead! I didn't attack you personally. See the difference?... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are many cases, or so I am told, of judges, politicians, doctors, CEO's, and other people in powerful positions that apparently like to be submissive and have a completely other "sex" life where they are dominated by a Dom or mistress, etc. To me these people are smart, clever, know how to play the political game, ambitions, they can lead, and all the other attributes a person must have to achieve these prestigious and influential positions. But the way I see it, that doesn't make any of these people, men or women, alpha. To me someone who can really lead and can influence and inspire other people would probably be very few and fair between. The people who have said they alpha personalities. Maybe, but the way I view it. I doubt it. I think an alpha personality can dominate from a submissive position but it's all a bit of role play and I doubt that they would submit to very submissive play. But that is just my opinion.
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RHP User
10 years ago
A lot of people are implying that aggression, and a fighting spirit, and ambition are alpha traits, that they have to dominate. But I am not convinced. An alpha personality influences and leads people... .. yes? So was somebody like Ghandi an alpha male?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' To me these people are smart, clever, know how to play the political game, ambitions, they can lead, and all the other attributes a person must have to achieve these prestigious and influential positions. But the way I see it, that doesn't make any of these people, men or women, alpha. To me someone who can really lead and can influence and inspire other people would probably be very few and fair between. The people who have said they alpha personalities. Maybe, but the way I view it. I doubt it. I have reservations about the 'alpha' label, but if I was forced to give it meaning this is what it would be. I don't think that I've met a true alpha, male or female, yet in my life. And I've worked with police officers and others with very dominant, ambitious personalities who I'm sure would class themselves as alphas but are actually far from it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Actually you told me to stop...that is personal..and you said many people have told you ,you are an Alpha from what and they way you have aggressively posted,I disagree.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Caring2some' I am very confident in my role as protector. However, I will want the best looking and smartest woman as my lover and would be prepared to fight for her. Would I back down to someone bigger and stronger? No.....an alpha male will die first... Okay, but is this really smart though?
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Seachange
10 years ago
male and females makes me laugh at the shirtfronting attitudes they have just displayed on here. Lol. truly displaying their insecurities.. true alpha plus people have their egos in check but competitive to achieve their ideals. such wannabe behaviours displayed is more Beta than Alpha. Lol. Anyway back to the topic I can not see any reason why an alpha person can not take on the role of a sub at his/her choosing if they are secure in their belief in themselves (which they normally are) and another way they show control over their pursuits in life. It should not be mutually exclusive in my opinion. Interesting topic.
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RHP User
10 years ago
what you say may be true, about these people and who they 'may be' at their core. But you won't really know that unless you ask them. Some may certainly 'act' to be alpha, but that seems like a whole lot of living and work outside an extreme comfort zone. I'm not sure why is has to be one or the other? Is it seriously not possible for people to be a mixed breed? I think it is, mainly because that's how I live :) I personally couldn't fake such a strong persona day in day out. There are people who absolutely can't be submissive (or in a submissive role), but they aren't always 'alpha' people of any kind and so I feel it has nothing to do with that. There are people who absolutely can't be Dominant (or in a Dominant role) either, but they aren't always the quiet, shy types. They are D and s types, but being 'alpha' has nothing to do with it. You can be an s type and still have the attributes to achieve these prestigious positions you've mentioned. It's a 'type' - not a definition. Submissive doesn't sum me up as a person, that's what I am at my core, but it's not all I am... I still say 'alphas', even the strongest can absolutely be true submissives without it taking away from the 'alpha' within, but each to their own xo Freya - oh my god - that is all! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I just read your comment again, I may have got you wrong (sorry). I'm getting stuck on your last question in your OP.... I think it's coming down to the definition of 'alpha' now, and I think that comes down to people's individual perception of the term and nothing further. I also think people are getting confused between an alpha/dominant personality and that of a BDSM Domiant in the lifestyle. A true Dominant in the lifestyle would absolutely attempt to Top from the bottom, so maybe a true alpha and a true Domiant are one and the same in your eyes xo - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I doubt doms are alphas but rather the epitome of wannabes.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some truly amazing posts. Seriously, WOW! To the people deriding the alpha personality, you may want to read up one the topic. Most of you are are talking about bullies and bullies are the most insecure.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Let me know if you work it out Freya.
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AUS_PlayTime
10 years ago
An Alpha is... well to me they are an ENTJ on the Briggs Myer personality type. 2% of general population, 3% of males. 1% of females. They are... rare and very interesting creatures indeed. I think I am married to one.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Caring2some' I am very confident in my role as protector. However, I will want the best looking and smartest woman as my lover and would be prepared to fight for her. Would I back down to someone bigger and stronger? No.....an alpha male will die first... Thats not "alpha" behaviour.... It falls into the category of projecting an attitude of bravado and braggadocio.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I tend to gravitate to the alpha personality because those men challenge me in many ways. It has nothing to do with domination in my opinion.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Would agree with you there except .. i only posted a very short description ( not whole description ) of why he was indeed an alpha male but .. couldn't be bothered to go into minute detail as i figured the "smarter" ladies etc here and ones who truly have indeed experienced an alpha male would naturally know what that entails . The man i speak of , couldn't be any more alpha if he tried but , you are of course entitled to your opinion . I myself , have been deemed an "alpha female " by many lol , so if that's anything to go by then .. i think I'd have an inkling on what that would be .
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RHP User
10 years ago
Alpha men are confident not cocky .. aggressive and in control but not domineering nor a bully / standover . They are anything but submissive in the bedroom and that i will also stick to but , think people posting are getting dominant as opposed to aggressive / in control between the sheets confused . As to being outdone in any respect though in the bedroom , and it's quite obvious if ladies lucky enough once again to experience an alpha male will know exactly what i mean . Others may not agree but i don't think you will find any true alpha - indulging a lady in a mmf .. and you'd be very mistaken for thinking its for lack of ability , or self confidence . More however it's due to the fact , that they are the ones ( and the rare ones ) that absolutely truly enjoy being the only ones to bring so much pleasure to their lovers , and they excel at it on every level as they are born achievers , so maybe i should have worded that better lol . Have to say also , alphas male and female do have their egos in check ( seems some posting don't lol ) and very much so .. my ex fwb was far from a bragger , if anything .. he never put anyone down or pulled people up on if he didn't agree on certain things etc and that included with other males . If anything , he would try and help or encourage them to achieve their goals and would defend someone if he felt they were put down or not reaching their full potential . Hope that clarifies and expands on what i was originally trying to relay in short initially :)
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Seachange
10 years ago
Alpha males and females,in my opinion, are confident and secure in their abilities. They live it as that is in their nature. They are achievers and work outside their comfort zone, in real life whether it be at work, social life or in the bedroom. They are assertive without the need to be aggressive. True Alphas know they have charm and will use that as part of the machinations in achieving their goals. They know how to work the crowd to their advantage instead of marginalizing people. Hence they are successful without,it seems, really trying. Blah blah blah. No need to go onto detail on Alpha people here... Hohum. do your own research if you have not come across anyone like that. Real Alphas don't need to advertise or proclaim they are, via direct admission (might as well scream out 'Yo!!! Alpha male here so yo bitches line up and catch me cum!!!!) or indirect, i.e. referential (e.g. 'People told me I'm an Alpha male/female so therefore I am... Shut up now and listen up!!' Charming... Insert eye roll here >> @@<<<). The latter screams of false modesty and but both just leave me an impression of delusional - akin to drumming one's chest to get attention. So Alphas, why dont you climb further up the pyramid so we can see you better but be careful you don't slip and break your neck... Too many pretenders to the throne, Lol. Too funny and am sure the readers will see it as it is (shakes my head as I walk away from the animal farm).
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RHP User
10 years ago
Interesting read hearing the different opinions of what makes or possibly defines the success of an Alpha male. But with such varying descriptions, I would guess it's something deeper more simpler that defines the alpha male - or more likely as I see it a skill set. Now IQ is important but not the deciding factor - otherwise some computer geeks I know would be up for Alpha male. I find it more a factor of EI (emotional intelligence) combined with an ability to demonstrate what is necessary. I find your emotions give a lot away and this can be read in your body, tone, etc - eg the change in breathing, the slight hesitation, the positioning of hands, the positioning of yourself in relation to others. All these subtle clues give away what you are feeling. Now someone high in EI can read these cues and determine to an extent how you are feeling. If you've ever had that look from someone as if they're staring into your soul, it's someone with high EI who is able to respond to you with facial expressions and body language. However, the Alpha male takes this further and can respond with actions, eg smile, light touch, humour, pin you down, get job done, stand up to aggressor - basically whatever they read from you that will instill your sense of trust in them (be it for safety, fun, etc). This also means out of their element the alpha male may not be perceived the alpha male. In a fire, the alpha male will likely be the one leading the firemen in the emergency putting out the fire. However, this same alpha male will likely not be the alpha male at a dance night (and quite possibly someone gay may be the alpha male in this situation... excuse stereotyping to make a point to refute an earlier homophobic post). Now for those thinking control is the right term, I would consider someone who needs to control others as insecure in themselves (and to the extreme this can become narcissistic). The alpha male sees through EI the course of action that will instill trust in the people around him... which then majority of the time has people follow his lead. You will notice that the first person stepping up to lead is the "try hard alpha" and that the Alpha male will step up later once they've had a chance to read the situation. So in terms of the OP, the Alpha male should be emotionally intelligent enough to be vulnerable/submissive. However, my guess is that the Alpha male is highly selective of people who he shows this side too, as they need to match similar to his EI. Otherwise it would be like a professor talking with a student... all very much one sided and a lot of hand holding through the conversation - and would not be safe for the professor to put his trust in the student.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'AUS_PlayTime' An Alpha is... well to me they are an ENTJ on the Briggs Myer personality type. 2% of general population, 3% of males. 1% of females. Like this: ENTJExtravert(22%) iNtuitive(25%) Thinking(75%) Judging(22%)You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%)You have distinct preference of Thinking over Feeling (75%)You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)You have slight preference of Extraversion over Introversion (22%) I actually vary a little based on mood when I do these as I can just as easily be introverted as extroverted, so will sometimes be categorised as INTJ. I know my type because the corporate psychologists are a bit obsessed with it. Blindman has posted some great explanations above, just about everyone else is talking about men hiding insecurities with bullying or other "macho" behaviour. They are closer to zulu than alpha. Alpha is not a term I would use, as with all the misconception about it's worse than meaningless. It's also not important at all to me. I am however a natural leader (despite rarely seeking leadership and not always being comfortable with it). I'm also quite happy to follow another true leader on the rare occasions I've had the chance, but I'm happiest just doing my own thing. In the bedroom I'm comfortable sharing MMF with a partner, but I'm not going to sub. For me any experimentation in that direction has been about exploring and learning. I have no idea what others like me get up to, but suspect if it happens it will be temporary. Hope that helps. Fire away now, it won't bother me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hmm .. Totally agree with lily on this one lol some peoples egos and clearly false modesty seem to be getting the better of them ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' There are many cases, or so I am told, of judges, politicians, doctors, CEO's, and other people in powerful positions that apparently like to be submissive and have a completely other "sex" life where they are dominated by a Dom or mistress, etc. To me these people are smart, clever, know how to play the political game, ambitions, they can lead, and all the other attributes a person must have to achieve these prestigious and influential positions. But the way I see it, that doesn't make any of these people, men or women, alpha. To me someone who can really lead and can influence and inspire other people would probably be very few and fair between. You just need to be clever to be a judge, you do not need to be a leader. In fact all the rules they need to follow would rule out every leader I've ever known. To get to the top these days in politics or in corporate life you primarily need to be ambitious. Chasing external rewards is not what drives an alpha type, so you actually don't find many there at all. In politics, if the alphas make it to the top it's because they are super passionate about a cause. Very few and far between indeed. In corporate life, it's because they are passionate about building a company, usually their own. There are exceptions of course, but in both arenas they are out competed at the top by psychopaths. It's easy enough to spot the difference if you know what you are looking for. While alphas typically will be successful, it will be in a field or role that gives them intrinsic satisfaction. I've found more leading teams in creative fields, in health, in small business, and in humanitarian work than in corporations, politics and law. I'd bet there are more true alpha men on building sites than there are in parliament. They will be leading a team, mentoring, and enjoying their own hobbies and family life outside working hours, without a need to amass a pile of cash or external recognition. The faux leaders that are far more obvious are those who make it to the top in corporates and politics based on their ambition for wealth and/or fame and power. In turn they are controlled by their desire for external rewards. Which may explain why there is no shortage of politicians, judges, and corporate execs who want to relax and be dominated at night. It may be because they are tired and stressed after pretending to be in charge all day.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'in_2_u_74'Others may not agree but i don't think you will find any true alpha - indulging a lady in a mmf .. and you'd be very mistaken for thinking its for lack of ability , or self confidence . More however it's due to the fact , that they are the ones ( and the rare ones ) that absolutely truly enjoy being the only ones to bring so much pleasure to their lovers , and they excel at it on every level as they are born achievers ,I believe a true alpha would be smart and worldly enough to recognise that as good a lover as they may be, a mmf provides a very different experience to one-one-one sex - for everybody involved. I don't think that they would be so full of themselves as to believe that they can fulfill every desire and fantasy for every woman, and I don't think they would want to restrict themselves or their partners that way but rather would be keen to explore and learn rather than stay stuck in the same box all the time. A true alpha is confident yes, but they also recognise their limitations and they don't let their ego rule their actions. And as a poster above mentioned, they would also have a high level of emotional intelligence. These latter aspects are why I think a lot of people on this thread have a misguided view of what alpha really is, and indeed why most people in general are misguided about it (and probably why so many on here who are clearly not alphas, are saying that they have often been called alpha by others).
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Missb4u
10 years ago
I'm an INTJ Pretty rare apparently
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' I've worked in male dominated industry all my life at the coalface and at corporate level and I've really only met 1 man I'd say was a true alpha You met Kerry Packer?This is an interesting thread about a cliched word that has become meaningless through overuse and misinterpretation.
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