F63
Ladies ... how common is it ...
June 20 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Primary school actually.... VERY early in schooling years.. so, I was probably like.. 6 or something...I was at school and said to this little girl I was hot on... (In a very schoolboyish way I mean)..I said.. "I saw a condom packet on the veranda at home last night."She replied "What is a veranda?"....So.. as my profile states clearly... "If Required"Which means... just that.... IF you ask/tell/suggest/insist then I "Glove up" - (AND, I carry my own FYI)If I think there is a particular risk... I thank the person involved and DON'T go there ..
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madotara69
9 years ago
We work with Leo girl, Tara goes to her trusty diary and exclaims.. 'we need to use a condom honey' with a big seductive grin. It adds a couple of inches and a whirlwind of girth, gives her a bit of a thrill. More than happy to whack it on and into her......hmmmmmm great topic Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Condoms are a non-negotiable with me, for both vaginal and anal sex. I always have the discussion with any potential partners, and I always have a couple on me when I meet up. Not prepared to take any unnecessary risks.
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RHP User
9 years ago
"But condoms are such mood killers", got kicked out of my bed and told to leave. There was one man afterwards who whispered to me "It's only anal" during a threesome with my male playmate, and I decided not to get annoyed because I didn't want to ruin the evening for my partner. The guy certainly got told he better put one on though. (My phone just corrected threesome to tiresome, which is about right.)
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Hear it all the time.... The ones that bring their own are so impressive. I keep all different sizes and brands handy.
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RHP User
9 years ago
are the ones that don't even make the conversation necessary. The condoms aren't the mood killers guys, the discussion about whether I want you to wear one is...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' are the ones that don't even make the conversation necessary. The condoms aren't the mood killers guys, the discussion about whether I want you to wear one is... couldn't have said it better myself.....we make it clear very early on in interactions that safe sex is an absolute must...so there should be nothing to discuss once we start playing...if there is, than the above individual would be kindly asked to take a hike!
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
It seems completely ridiculous to me..... that after the build up and journey to that point where the aim of sex is on the cards..... that it should be such a big deal for a guy to (a) not carry something weighing a few grams... (b) put on something that takes 15 seconds to apply (or 30 if you're me bahaha) ... and (c) put on something that's only a few microns thick. Are you really that prepared to be denied at that point? Are you really THAT stupid?!!! Sheeeeeeesh. - Posted from rhpmobile
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ruby_blossum
9 years ago
alas, I hear it too often, for all the reasons the OP mentioned. It would seem that a lot of people like to think once you are hot and sweaty and having a ball of a time, you wont mind. Not on..... dont let the door hit you on your arse as you leave. Especially when you have spoken about it prior to catching up. Personally I think the refusal to wear a condom is very selfish, they are only thinking about themself and not about their partner. Ofcourse, at my age I dont have the concern of an unplanned pregnancy, yet I am still amazed at the men who dont even think of STI's. They are happy to tell me about their sexual past...when I ask when their last STI test was, more often than not they answer with ...".ummm never had one" as if they are offended. I was watching Between A Frock and a Hard Place during the week, (the story behind Priscilla Queen of the Desert) during the show they played the Grim Reaper-Bowling Ball -AIDS advert. Thats still a scary ad, wish they would bring it back.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Do you know what surprised me. That men are still willing to forgo the condom even when they know you are not on any other contraception. That blows my mind.
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ruby_blossum
9 years ago
STI tests.... I know which one I'd rather have (if I was a guy that is)
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Mr_MrsAraps
9 years ago
yep totally agree and couldn't have said it better - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' alas, I hear it too often, for all the reasons the OP mentioned. Ofcourse, at my age I dont have the concern of an unplanned pregnancy, yet I am still amazed at the men who dont even think of STI's. I do believe that our demographic is going through a bit of a spike in the STD stakes...so all the more reason to glove up.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yep same shit, men never always blah blah blah.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If she wants them then she gets them, if she does not want them but I don't have the trust then there is no sex. If I trust and she trusts me then there is no need. Skin on skin has no substitute. I know with confidence I am clean, and a night of lust will go through half a dozen or more, with all the chances of accidental touch the ideal of protection seems to me to be little more than a dream. It comes down to the trust. I will always ask. Are you clean? When were you last tested? How active have you been? If I believe the answers then where is the risk? The easiest way to avoid getting an STI is to not have sex with someone that has an STI. I err on the side of caution, if there is doubt then i will not take the risk. I would wonder how many here would have sex with someone with an STI with a condom on? Seems to me that the assumption is for wearing a condom that the partner may well have one, for me that is more than reason to not have sex. I am not going to gamble with my sexual health, something that many condom wearers seem to be happy to do. Are you really that desperate?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Do you know what surprised me. That men are still willing to forgo the condom even when they know you are not on any other contraception. That blows my mind. I've even had myself snipped (yes, the doc and anaesthetist were very surprised given my age & status), and I would still ALWAYS wear one, and even change it if I felt it might break after quite a bit of play.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It is a prerequisite that I insist on. The demands of life, busy as they may be can make it easy to forget minor details. If condoms are minor and easily forgotten then I can only assume that the rest associated with the requirement that condoms entail are also as minor. Casual sex it may be, minor detail most certainly not.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Yep same shit, men never always blah blah blah. how we can have a discussion about condoms without talking about men?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Yep same shit, men never always blah blah blah. How many times has a woman said to you, no not having sex with you if you wear that condom? LG
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' If she wants them then she gets them, if she does not want them but I don't have the trust then there is no sex. If I trust and she trusts me then there is no need. Skin on skin has no substitute. I know with confidence I am clean, and a night of lust will go through half a dozen or more, with all the chances of accidental touch the ideal of protection seems to me to be little more than a dream. It comes down to the trust. I will always ask. Are you clean? When were you last tested? How active have you been? If I believe the answers then where is the risk? The easiest way to avoid getting an STI is to not have sex with someone that has an STI. I err on the side of caution, if there is doubt then i will not take the risk. I would wonder how many here would have sex with someone with an STI with a condom on? Seems to me that the assumption is for wearing a condom that the partner may well have one, for me that is more than reason to not have sex. I am not going to gamble with my sexual health, something that many condom wearers seem to be happy to do. Are you really that desperate? Im sure Im not the only one who recognises the strange double standards and contradictions there, BM. You have said you will play without condoms...... because you rely on trust, and the powers of your evaluative processes to determine (?!) if there is risk ...... or not. But trust has ZERO connection to fact..... and you'll never be 100% certain they don't have an STI based on what someone says. Just because someone says they're a virgin.... doesn't mean they are... or that they're STD free if they actually are a virgin! So your questions are about risk mitigation, in your own mind.... which is no different to people waring condoms as their risk mitigant,... effective or otherwise. But they're certainly more effective than NOT wearing them. And sure, condoms are not 100% foolproof....... but relying on "trust" and your evaluative process as your risk mitigating strategy IS "gambling with your health". Now... thats fine if it only affects you..... but we all know it doesn't. I have to give your comment the (Cue... your page long rebuttal...lol) DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' If she wants them then she gets them, if she does not want them but I don't have the trust then there is no sex. If I trust and she trusts me then there is no need. Skin on skin has no substitute. I know with confidence I am clean, and a night of lust will go through half a dozen or more, with all the chances of accidental touch the ideal of protection seems to me to be little more than a dream. It comes down to the trust. I will always ask. Are you clean? When were you last tested? How active have you been? If I believe the answers then where is the risk? The easiest way to avoid getting an STI is to not have sex with someone that has an STI. I err on the side of caution, if there is doubt then i will not take the risk. I would wonder how many here would have sex with someone with an STI with a condom on? Seems to me that the assumption is for wearing a condom that the partner may well have one, for me that is more than reason to not have sex. I am not going to gamble with my sexual health, something that many condom wearers seem to be happy to do. Are you really that desperate? You may trust your partner but how do you know that the person they had sex with last told them the truth. Go back even further and the partner of the partner several encounters back may not have known they were infected and passed an STI on in a chain reaction. Several days/weeks/months down the track your trust might have you scratching your head about where it came from. Going back to the opening post "Lets please keep this about your experiences and not about how effective condoms are." CheersLG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Yep same shit, men never always blah blah blah. So I haven't slept with many women but none of them have said no to me when I put a condom on my strappy. But, I have heard of women in their 40's who are newly single who, you know, are out and having some fun and dating a lot and they haven't even considered asking the men they sleep with to put a condom on. Although, one assumes that most of the men that they have dated haven't brought it up either. So I said men in my comment above. So let me rephrase that. I have been with a few men in the past who have still been keen to not using a condom even though I told them I wasn't on any other contraception. They wouldn't come inside me, etc.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry. They said that they wouldn't come inside me so it would be all right, etc.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That is the nature of trust. Trust is not about the detection of lies, it is the understanding of the person. It is knowing what risks they will take or not. The effectiveness of condoms is very much at the heart of the question of there use. This is how I see it, Would I have protected sex with someone I knew to have an STI, emphatically, NO never. Why? because I do not trust them (condoms) to protect me. The same goes with, would I have sex with someone that I suspected may have an STI? No never. Yes there is an all to likely possibility that I could be deceived. Its like standing in front of a firing squad. If that squad numbers one, and a condom renders the gunman short sighted then I would uncomfortably have confidence to see another day. But I have faced one, I wish to face many more. If the squad numbered 13 short sighted by plastic, and knowing it takes only one bullet to die, I would rather not commit a crime that has me facing such certain odds. The risk is directly linked to how often you play, and nothing to do with an inner comfort, and little to do with the gunman's aim (plastic wrapped or not). The risk for me is that if I do catch something, my sex life is over. I could never in good conscious have sex protected or not if I had an STI. It only takes one bullet to kill my sex life, something that I value. I don't fear disease, if fear being diseased. Something I am not prepared to throw dice with. If I feel that a condom is a must, then I fell that its not worth it, I would rather go without (sex).
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RHP User
9 years ago
I could tell you all about the time, I met a man once who I had the worst sex with, who then proceeded to put my back out who then thought it a grand idea to have a full on conversation (argument) with me about the fact that condoms were a pain in the ass (no pun intended!) right in the middle of proceedings........ Unless you wish to proclaim undying monogamous commitment to me, it really is a case of, if it's not on, it's not on! Oh and Meeka...... my one. "Don't worry honey, I've had the snip....you'll be fine." Seriously, WTF!!! A 21st century pregnancy out of wedlock is the least of my concerns. My imagination leaps to some traditional or new disease that may cause my demise. I once read, that you only die once, so be sure to do it well. Death by a fatal STD is not my style.......
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Yep same shit, men never always blah blah blah. Be fair. The OP specifically said "please keep this about your experiences", so considering mainly women posted, what did you expect?
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RHP User
9 years ago
It is your prerogative to take that chance. That is your business. Let me put this to you. Is trust never ending?I was married for 16 years and had trusted my husband with my life .... silly me. Little did I know he was cheating behind my back for at least 6 months. I found out that the woman he was cheating with had very low morals and was not fussy with whom she had unprotected sex with. So for 6 months my "trusted" husband was not only putting his health at risk but also mine. My point is you can trust your partner, if you wish, but can you trust your partners previous other playfriends? You don't know the history of the third party or their morals, etc. Quoting Meeka and I have been told exactly the same by my doctor: "But, I have heard of women in their 40's who are newly single who, you know, are out and having some fun and dating a lot and they haven't even considered asking the men they sleep with to put a condom on. Although, one assumes that most of the men that they have dated haven't brought it up either. " Why take a chance that a condom won't protect you? Just my thoughts LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
That doesn't sound like a very pleasant encounter. I assume you didn't go back for seconds! LG ps. I think Meeka's comments were tongue in cheek.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Consider herpes with a infection rate of 60% with and condoms providing 80% protection. After you have sex with someone 10 time the odds of you having caught herpes are the same as someone that has not used condoms. I dont know about you but when I meet someone that I find sexually attractive I have sex a lot more than 10 times. Condoms over many encounters provide absolutely no extra protection. You are simply demonstrating that you do not understand risk. The only benefit condoms have is that you feel secure. Your use of condoms makes no difference to the level of protection, you ONLY need ONE cross to catch it. If you are only ever going to have sex 5 times in your life, use condoms they will give you significantly less chance of infection than not. By 10 times there is no point. Please get this into your head for your own sake. I am not telling you to stop using them, I am telling you that you are at the same risk as someone that does not use them (assuming you have had sex over 10 times). I am not making this up, its simple probabilistics. Understand your risk, adjust your behavior to suit that risk. I have been at this for 7 years and am still clean, I am in a significantly higher risk demographic than you. But I consider my personal risk factor lower than yours because I understand the risk, I err on the side of caution and never take the attitude "Put a condom on, you'll be right" that is pure insanity. Each STI has differing infection rates and condoms offer different levels of protection from each. Each STI has different prevalence in the population. If you are sexual active you should know the protection condoms provide for each, the infection rates for each and the prevalence for each STI off the top of your head. When you know that then you can start preaching to me how to stay safe.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Testing is where I place the trust, knowing that my partner is aware of the risks is where I place my trust, understanding that my partner is as equally concerned in regard to avoiding infection is where I place my trust. I can do no more than that as I would be a fool to rely on condoms to protect me. I have tried to explain why but the point is not getting across. It not if they cheat, it is if they fear infection as much as I do, that is the only trust I need in regard to sexual health.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am not saying dont use condoms. that is up to each individual. All I am saying is understand your risk. Do not rely on condoms to protect you as they will not. Get tested, ensure that your partner gets tested. Do so regularly. Never have sex with someone that has never been tested. Never have sex with someone that has an STI, never have sex with someone you do not trust has given you an honest answer the above conditions. Sex has risk, it is unavoidable, the more sex you have the greater the risk. At a point condoms offer no advantage over not using them. That does not mean don't use them, it means do not ever put your trust in staying safe in the use of condoms. They will not keep you safe. 20% of the population has herpes. Do you know what questions to ask to avoid the majority of people with herpes. Very few of that 20% know they have it. Herpes is not part of the standard STI check. Have you ask your GP to swab for Herpes?6 in 100,000 have HIV, HIV is very hard to catch, condoms make it next to imposible. An estimated 1 in 250,000-500,000 people have HIV and don't know it. Would you have protected sex with someone with HIV? Why take a risk and have sex with someone that you are unsure has ever been tested, let alone tested in the last 6 months.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Swabbing for herpes is a pointless exercise, too many false positives due to the other strains of the virus. The only reliable swab is of the sores themselves which obviously only confirms what you now know. I don't have herpes though I did go through the testing procedure after a lover (falsely) tested positive.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Leo_girl' That doesn't sound like a very pleasant encounter. I assume you didn't go back for seconds! LG ps. I think Meeka's comments were tongue in cheek. No they were not tongue in cheek at all.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree with Blindman. You are rolling the STI dice each time you have sex with someone. Using condoms just means that you are rolling a 20 sided dice instead of a regular dice. Roll it often enough and you will eventually roll the six that will end your sex life.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Leo_girl' That doesn't sound like a very pleasant encounter. I assume you didn't go back for seconds! LG ps. I think Meeka's comments were tongue in cheek. It was a decidedly unpleasant experience. I'm a rather giving, pleasant and happy person. It takes a lot to get me riled. And I certainly don't want to argue during sex. If I wanted that I'd get married so we could then also argue about who hasn't washed up, folded the clothes or who's turn it is to put a load of washing on! I absolutely categorically assure you that I did not go back for seconds. However, let me assure you, had my brain decided I was desperate enough to go back for second helpings, I would have shut up shop, packed my bags, with a one way plane ticket to anywhere, and found a Cistercian Monastry to see out my remaining days! I guess at least with solitary confinement and absolute silence you get peace. I learnt a lot about the world during my year here. I'm rather wised up these days.
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RHP User
9 years ago
"oh I forgot the condoms" - That's fine, I always bring my own. And don't worry - they're latex free and I have two sizes. "I don't like to use them because they make me go soft" - I'll ride your face, while you put it on. "they don't feel good" - Don't worry I'm sure I can distract you. But yes I have been asked - though not during the first few meets, but definitely during subsequent visits with on-going people and mainly because they know I've been insistent, my health go up in their estimations. Personally unprotected sex stays in the realm of relationships. White picket fences and white pearl creampies.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It might surprise the ladies that us guys also refuse sex when we do not feel it is safe. Why risk it. You may have special imported, custom fit, sent of roses, anti viral, anti bacterial, lubricated, made by virgins hands, wont know you are wearing them condoms, I am not going to put them on and think I am safe, so I will go without. Why is it that women will happily have sex when their is doubt by shoving a bit of plastic on. I have asked quite a few times and never seem to get an answer. My experience in the real world gives a much different picture from what people are saying in here. Would anyone have sex with a condom if you knew the partner had an STI? I would not.. I would just like to know or is the question touching somewhere we don't want to go?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its the choices we make as to how we live it that has variances. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Why would you have sex with a partner that had an STI when all you have to do is wait until it has been cleared up with antibiotics? Dumb question. If someone I loved had herpes that wouldn't stop me either. I mean half the world has it. As for HIV. Well they say you can have sex safely with a HIV carrier. when they are on the meds they can be almost safe. I don't know all the terminology but .... I hope I don't ever have to make that choice.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Can I say Blindman I think your rule about not sleeping with people who have had sex in other countries and they way you seem to think that makes you so "good" is absolutely ridiculous. Your "partner" may not have had rooted someone in Thailand or where ever but that isn't to say they haven't slept with other people who have. Your argument makes no sense at all. It does not make you safe, sorry to tell you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' The risk for me is that if I do catch something, my sex life is over. I could never in good conscious have sex protected or not if I had an STI. It only takes one bullet to kill my sex life, something that I value. I don't fear disease, if fear being diseased. Something I am not prepared to throw dice with. If I feel that a condom is a must, then I fell that its not worth it, I would rather go without (sex). Look, I admit that I haven't read your posts but this last paragraph caught my eye. Now maybe you have explained this elsewhere but this comment does not gel with a bloke that swings without condoms. And can I say your sex life is not over, I have never heard such a bloody ridiculous comment in all my life. How stupid and what a irresponsible thing to say.
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RHP User
9 years ago
bet all those people on the Herpes dating site would disagree with you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
is the best form of contraception 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Consider herpes with a infection rate of 60% with and condoms providing 80% protection. After you have sex with someone 10 time the odds of you having caught herpes are the same as someone that has not used condoms. I dont know about you but when I meet someone that I find sexually attractive I have sex a lot more than 10 times. Condoms over many encounters provide absolutely no extra protection. You are simply demonstrating that you do not understand risk. The only benefit condoms have is that you feel secure. Your use of condoms makes no difference to the level of protection, you ONLY need ONE cross to catch it. If you are only ever going to have sex 5 times in your life, use condoms they will give you significantly less chance of infection than not. By 10 times there is no point. Please get this into your head for your own sake. I am not telling you to stop using them, I am telling you that you are at the same risk as someone that does not use them (assuming you have had sex over 10 times). I am not making this up, its simple probabilistics. Understand your risk, adjust your behavior to suit that risk. I have been at this for 7 years and am still clean, I am in a significantly higher risk demographic than you. But I consider my personal risk factor lower than yours because I understand the risk, I err on the side of caution and never take the attitude "Put a condom on, you'll be right" that is pure insanity. Each STI has differing infection rates and condoms offer different levels of protection from each. Each STI has different prevalence in the population. If you are sexual active you should know the protection condoms provide for each, the infection rates for each and the prevalence for each STI off the top of your head. When you know that then you can start preaching to me how to stay safe. A programmer is giving advice on STI's? I'd rather get my advice from a doctor!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't mind them. And nothing sexier then when your partner puts it on for you. I've got one on right now. Just incase. You can never be to prepared - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
This thread started out being about safe sex, condom use and how each individual assess risky sex. "Guys, how do you feel about using protection". But now it appears to be about bashing Blindman for his method of assessing potential disease risk and how he choses to make decisions about his sexual health. I don't see how Blindman's risk assessment strategies would ever effect you and why you are attacking him for his choices.
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Kattss
9 years ago
I have got the 'it makes me go soft' excuse a few times... THAT makes me go soft... I mean seriously!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
To me testing is what matters, there are way to many people out there that have never been tested. Many in the belief they dont need to get tested because they are safe wearing condoms. Would be nice if the safe sex option hadRegular testing.In the last 6 months.Tested once.Never. That is all I really want to know when it come to safe sex. In my view that also hands half the responsibility to the women. I find it particularly obnoxiouse that BI women put "Always" on their profile. I have never seen anyone ever use a dam. Why is sex with women safe, but not with men? rhetorical..
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xeena' I don't see how Blindman's risk assessment strategies would ever effect you and why you are attacking him for his choices. It's probably because of the way he starts it off by attacking others for their choices. And when you actually read his arguments, many of them contradict themselves and are not logical. So people point that out to him. Simples.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for your most convincing argument. I totally agree people should talk to a doctor. Better still save your self some time and money and just read it out of their safe sex hand book. Abstinence, fidelity, and condoms. I do love making them (GP's) uncomfortable with "But doc, I am a bisexual swinger and have had sex with hundreds of people." they shift in their seats and respond, "Have you been tested?" "That's why I am here doc!""Well then, always use condoms." their standard back up line.This is the point where the real fun begins, policy ensures that they must preach the mantra of condoms so I hit them with. "How do I change condoms between two people without contaminating the new one. I can not put it on without touching the outside, and washing my hands each time I change a condom in most cases is not an option."At that they fall back to the abstinence option,"Its not a good idea to have multiple partners, blah blah blah.""Gee thanks doc, next time I am knee deep in pussy and cock i'll pass the message on." The best is to go to a clinic, the doctors there are trained and know about the swinging life style, about group, BI, and gay sex. They encounter highly promiscuous people all the time. Talk to them they have a far more pragmatic understanding of safe sex.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its personal choice. If I ever get an STI I will not have sex till I am safe. Most people I meet I meet in the real world, they dont carry HIV positive or Herpes to share signs. Though that conjures up a nice party theme. Strangely I have never looked at the STI sites, I wonder if they are big on condom use? Overseas, I don't mean skiing holiday with friends and a little kissing in the jacuzzy, I mean guys that go where sex is cheap, prostitution is unregulated, STI rates for prostitutes are well over 50%, and have sex with half a dozen or more people. But you are not stupid, you knew what I meant, well I think you did, I stopped reading when I saw your handle.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You get some good feelings from certain ones and using pleasure lube inside them so the feeling stays on the head of my cock is intense! I'm happy to wear them but like the woman to put it on me and when it's full of cum if they pull it off and still play with my cum nothing is wasted
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FunSexyCple
9 years ago
We apply safe. Condoms have got much better over the years and now there is such a range everyone should be able to find a condom they can cope with. Risk of pregnancy aside, ask if you are pre prepared to risk your partner or yourself to a common STI , or worse, a life changing disease such as AIDS or Hep ?. Until we know a couple or guy well we use a rubber for penetrative sex. Once we are comfortable with them and know their history then bareback is fine but initially … no. Plus, putting on a condom can be a playful thing, let her take control of the process, make it sexy and fun. We all need to take responsibility for our own health … and guys, we should also be taking responsibility for her. Cheers, A & A
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'HennaJay' "oh I forgot the condoms" - That's fine, I always bring my own. And don't worry - they're latex free and I have two sizes. "I don't like to use them because they make me go soft" - I'll ride your face, while you put it on. "they don't feel good" - Don't worry I'm sure I can distract you. But yes I have been asked - though not during the first few meets, but definitely during subsequent visits with on-going people and mainly because they know I've been insistent, my health go up in their estimations. Personally unprotected sex stays in the realm of relationships. White picket fences and white pearl creampies. See here is the hypocrisy/naivety, it's ok for a guy to lick your potentially infected pussy but you insist on a condom ! Hmmm was his cock and pre-cum clean when you sucked it ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wear them for all the reasons mentioned but also cos they make me feel dressier.
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RHP User
9 years ago
No brainer always on and helps control with the sensitive little bugger 😳😳😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
BM What a preachy, lecturing bunch of BS you've spouted..... again. If you a re as intelligent as you like to present.... you will see that you have repeatedly contradicted your own comments..... .......by citing statistics to prove the risks with condoms..... while referring to your mystical magical powers of questioning potential play partners to evaluate, and diminish those risks without using them..... in your own mind. It is as if you believe your mind is more powerful than STDs which may or may not exist on those you play with. You have stated elsewhere you NEVER gamble. Everything.... is risk and gamble. You have stated you ask questions of others to see if the gamble of condondomless sex is worth taking.Otherwise.... you wouldn't ask!!! These questions satisfy your mind..... but, not the reality.... according to your statistics. And to that .... I say.... Good luck to you and your contradictions. We all know condoms are not 100% effective....... neither is abstinence for that matter... for a number of reasons.Those risks are significantly higher without condoms.That, is the point of this discussion as raised by the OP. Good luck to you. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
I buy condoms myself so if he forgets, i also have them too so no excuse to not wear one - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agreed to go bareback with one "partner" as he promised we would be exclusive & showed me test results. 2 years later I found out he had been barebacking with half the population of Sydney (slight exaggeration, but only slight!). Luckily I did not catch anything but im glad I found out sooner rather than later & the moral of this story is "don't believe everything you are told". I will not make the same mistake twice. Condoms or no play are my non negotiable rules from now on - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
... that a guy would risk a refusal when that close to a successful conclusion. And over such a minor thing. Simply put (and from the straight perspective) sex is something women have that men want, so the ladies get to make the rules. If you want to play the game you have to follow the rules - thought everyone was aware of this?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Where does Henna say she won't perform oral sex without a condom? I thought she was talking about intercourse.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Those risks are significantly higher without condoms. Sorry wrong, I have tried to explain it but you are not reading what I post or not taking time to understand it.OK I just wrote a program to do the numbers in a way you might understand. You sleep with a person that has an asymptomatic STI 100 time in a year. Lets say Herpes 60% infection rate. Condoms provide 80% protection. I simulate 100 encounters each year with/without condoms over 100 years. I count each cross infection and get the average for the 100 years, I record the minimum cross infections in each year and the maximum. I all count any years that did not result in cross infection.The results areCondoms 11.93 min:6 max:20 years no infection:0Natural 60.39 min:48 max:70 years no infection:0First number is the average cross infections per year over 100 years.Min is the minimum cross infections in one year over the 100 years.Max is the maximum cross infections in one year over the 100 years.Years no infection is the number of years you do not get an STI You see that the condoms numbers are much lower but the odds of catching it are exactly the same 100%. To get on average one year without cross infection I had to run 4million simulated years. For every 4 million years you can be safe one of those years wearing condoms. Ok so lets make it more complex. Same amount of sex, monogamous and you and your partner dont have sex with anyone else. You both are tested when you meet and are clear.Condoms 0 min:0 max:0 years no infection:100Natural 0 min:0 max:0 years no infection:100Well what do you know condoms and no condoms end up with no infections. Lets say one of you cheat. That cheating happens once a year with someone that has Herpes. They use condoms when they cheat and only have sex once. You both get tested at the start of every year. We will now make it 100 couples as herpes is for life.Condoms 0.83 min:0 max:14 couples not infected:89Natural 3.71 min:0 max:54 couples not infected:89 Again condoms make no difference you are both free if STI the same number of years (Yes weird I double checked as I was not expecting it either) If you run the 100 year many times the average years without an infection is 87 years for both condoms and no condoms. Now lets change it to the cheat cheats with a random individual with a 1 in five chance of having herpes. Again both of you are tested once a year, The cheating happens once a year, only one encounter, with condoms.Condoms 0.05 min:0 max:5 couples not infected:99Natural 0.42 min:0 max:42 couples not infected:99 Again condoms make no difference. Now same conditions but this time the cheat does not use a condom. This is when the difference happens. You both still wear condoms 100 times a year but the once a year cheat does not wear it once and has sex once with a random stranger with a 1 in five chance of having herpes.Condoms 0.43 min:0 max:12 couples not infected:93Natural 2.33 min:0 max:62 couples not infected:93 Same now both of you are tested twice a year.Condoms 0.83 min:0 max:18 couples not infected:90Natural 4.29 min:0 max:58 couples not infected:89 Well just by chance its safer this run not to wear condoms. One last one. Your partner cheats 10 times a year over a weekend having sex 10 times with condoms and a random stranger. 1 in 5 people have herpes. You both get tested twice a year.Condoms 6.27 min:0 max:16 couples not infected:22Natural 30.99 min:0 max:63 couples not infected:22 And same again but cheats without condomsCondoms 6.33 min:0 max:16 couples not infected:18Natural 31.19 min:0 max:67 couples not infected:17 And again condoms make no difference to you.These are all correct and statistically accurate simulations, they use a uniformly distributed random function so each time you have sex is the same odds of cross infection. I am not cheating, these are the facts. Condoms make no difference when you consider 10 or more sexual encounters. This is all based on 100 sexual encounters with your partner, that's sex twice a week. If you think I am wrong show the proof. Nobody has so far presented anything in the way of hard evidence to show that I am wrong. I dont care if you use condoms, I use condoms as well, but only because its a social etiquette to do so not because they offer and extra protection. CONDOMS only offer extra protection if you only have sex a few time in your life. This is the norm for most people they may only have sex a few times before the go into a long term partnership and never cheat, this is the people the health organisation target, Mr and Mrs normal.. Not cheaters, not swingers, not random players. For him and her swinger condoms offer nothing in the way of safety. Anyone doubt this Message me and I am happy to provide the code.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mithras71' ... that a guy would risk a refusal when that close to a successful conclusion. And over such a minor thing. Simply put (and from the straight perspective) sex is something women have that men want, so the ladies get to make the rules. If you want to play the game you have to follow the rules - thought everyone was aware of this? You would think so, but for many guys women are more than willing to have sex. I quoted a study earlier. The more sexually attractive the male the more risk the woman will take.The less self esteem a woman has the more risk a woman will take. I am sure it is the same for men. But I could not find any study that was done in this regard. I go to many swinging events, I know that there are a few men that women flock to. They are the ones that set the rules, it is the same for women. There are a few that set the rules. It is in no way a one sided affair.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was about to leave home to go and meet a guy at his place and the last minute text I sent him was 'get your condoms ready'. There then followed a rushed and progressively more heated argument via SMS, about why the idiot would leave it to the last minute to say to me 'oh but condoms and me just don't get on baby, I wouldn't be able to stay hard.' Needless to say he did not get to see me that evening - I told him 'no glove, no love' and that was his one and only chance. I make sure it is raised as a topic of conversation before leaving it to the last minute these days, as this is not the only time I've been caught out, and as I mentioned in the previous 'condom' topic, I weighed up the risks and was lucky to stay clean. It is simply not a good enough excuse to say 'oh but we've had a few drinks and didn't realize we've run out of condoms - can you go out and get some now you're here?' That's a real mood killer right there and I'm wary of getting into that situation again. The bloody cheek!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wonder who he is trying to convince? Hasn't worked with anyone else. I wonder if he has managed to convince himself? LOL. BM you allow men to bareback with you... the most riskiest sexual act.... I think that is incredibly risky behaviour regardless of your rules and any questions you ask them about travel.
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RHP User
9 years ago
"I'll ride your face while you put it on"
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RHP User
9 years ago
Phones don't do quotes, I'm sure you'll work it out.
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RHP User
9 years ago
50, maybe my humour is a smidge dry ... But I was being droll, with my answers to those three questions. Clearly ... since I then went onto to say, I've had not had a new partner ask that during the first romp.
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are many ignorance people in this world, they fear truth. Most are afraid because they do not wish to look stupid.But there are always those that are afraid for reasons of selfish need, it is not their own ignorance they fear, it is the ignorance of others that they fear will be lost. Why is the truth so bad? I dont tell lies or make up facts, its easy for anyone to check the numbers, look up the facts, present a logical argument if they see error and can prove me wrong. So why do some choose not logic or debate, and resort to innuendo and cast frivolous assertions. Never addressing the facts, just childish character assassination. Smart people can easily see the nature of such attacks. Not a sing argument so far to disprove me, just assertions to my character. I am trying to help people, I am trying to get people to know the dangers. i am trying to stop the idiots that get infections and spread disease, the idiots that wait for itches, oozing and puss before they go seek help, the one that think that condoms keep them safe. The ones that in supreme ignorance spend decades spreading infection as they satisfy their selfish lust. I have not once said do not to use condoms, ever to anyone, I just present how ineffectual they are. Why can people not just take that information in. You can still use the condoms there is no reason to change. Only reason for concern. I am 100% clean, I know that as a fact, I know that certainty 2 times every year. It has little to do with luck and every thing to do with who I choose to fuck. Face it Meeka. Many women and men fear that without the false ideal of safe sex they can no long justify their reason to go and get fucked.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Yet again.... you start with the premiss that other people don't understand.... and their views are not "smart"..... and therefore inferior to yours. Condescending, really. So you know what...... to prove how much I understand, and you clearly don't..... Im just going to use your words that you've offered in this topic, and "Still on if its not on"..... to highlight how many of your contradictions you obviously don't understand. Then any argument you have after that.... is with yourself. its easy for anyone to check the numbers, look up the facts, present a logical argument if they see error and can prove me wrong.Right. Lets go. If I trust and she trusts me then there is no need. (to use condoms)It comes down to the trust. I will always ask. Are you clean? When were you last tested? How active have you been? If I believe the answers then where is the risk? (people believe in religion.... and UFOs... and Santa) What people say and what they do are seldom the same (people lie... even to you = misguided trust as you don't actually know the risk) The easiest way to avoid getting an STI is to not have sex with someone that has an STI. I err on the side of caution, if there is doubt then i will not take the risk.But... If I feel that a condom is a must, then I fell that its not worth it, I would rather go without... although....If she wants them then she gets them (glad she has a choice in the matter!.. seems you'll take the "risk" anyway, and she doesn't "trust" you without one!) Condoms reduce risk (we know.) I never gamble, ever. I learn the game, understand the rules, locate the important contributing factors, make an assessment and commit to action that has a know outcome. Only fools gamble and only fools can loose. So... you're a fool when you do use a condom and accept the risk you're reducing... any risk... is a gamble.... because What people say and what they do are seldom the same It is not the failure of safe sex, it is the failure of honesty... The fault is giving trust to the wrong person but when What people say and what they do are seldom the same... you can never be sure they're honest with you = you don't actually know the risk = your trust is a gamble I am 100% clean, I know that as a fact, I know that certainty 2 times every year. It has little to do with luck and every thing to do with who I choose to fuck Its great that you know your status, but relying on your trust of others, is a gamble, misguided and far from the programmed statistical data you've pushed on everyone All your time and investment in creating self generated program statistics to support a flawed argument... from your own contradictions...... mean 3/5th of Eff-all...... total waste of time beyond entertaining yourself, really. "The righteous are thick on the ground here" Uh huh. Im guessing that includes me because I dare to challenge your arguments. Stick a fork in it..... its done. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
My point is.......if your going to indulge in wet sticky yummy oral sex giving and receiving, then the condom is just for contraception ? Because except for aids maybe, safe sex has just been blown out the window.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Unless you seriously need them for contraception condoms are pointless for all but the most mundane sex. If you were serious about STI you wouldn't dare to consider or expect oral sex or rimming or... or... or. As for dogging, glory holes, gang bangs etc too late a condom won't save you ! "If it's not on it's not on" is a great catch cry for fumbling teenagers but for adults ? Please, treat me with some respect. I've had a vasectomy, I've had (and having) a pretty damn good sex life and never had an infection, ever, unless you count one case of UTI. My bisexual activity is limited to bisexual couples. I have always tested regularly since Aids came amongst us.So yes, I trust my judgement. You can rail and wail all you like but if she sucks your cock or you go down on her a condom is a joke. So if you want to play the "if it's not on it's not on" game with me then sorry it's not on !
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RHP User
9 years ago
Why do you drag up my personal opinion, stitch it together out of context to present what. That I have my own opinion. Nice one DG, but that has nothing to do with the argument I present. I ask for logical argument to show that condoms are safer than not when having a lot of sex. See the last post addressed to you. Did you read it? That is the argument I present, unless you have more to add, or reason to fault those facts. I am not interested in what you think of me, as what I do is irrelevant, just as much as what you do is as well.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Second you on what you said. For me I am not even turned on by the people that are the highest risk. The not that smart half of the population. Sex is in the mind, so I want interesting minds. Interesting minds are usually bright and understand risk. They do all they can to mitigate their risk. It is also good to know people that get tested regularly as well, each time I hear someone has passed again it gives me confidence as well. With all the regular partners over the many years not a single one has ever tested positive for anything. A clean community of people, Each doing their part for the greater good. I was talking to a friend yesterday, she said i should carry dental dams around as well, she does not think women would take to kindly to me insisting I use them every time I go down. I might give it a go, see what the reaction is. A little experiment to try out "Always for all activities."
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Why do you drag up my personal opinion, stitch it together out of context to present what. That I have my own opinion. Nice one DG, but that has nothing to do with the argument I present. I ask for logical argument to show that condoms are safer than not when having a lot of sex. BM... they were your words...... to contradict your opinions... and highlight the flaws in your argument. If you don't understand your own words...... well....... take it up with..... you!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Despite the OP asking for this to not turn into a debate about how effective condoms are....it's turned into a debate about how effective condoms are. Blindman, since you're so determined to keep bringing this up (and bringing it up, and bringing it up), how about you start your own thread instead of derailing everyone else's.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd call it yet another shit-fight about who is ignorant and who is righteous.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Where does one find dental dams.. And are they called dental dams??
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RHP User
9 years ago
Condoms are not 100% effective and if you're having sex with multiple partners you should be getting tested regularly. I think that using condoms can give people a false sense of security and the belief that provided they don't have a mishap (one breaks or slips-off), then they're safe. It's not true and I don't think it's responsible behaviour. That said, I will still use them because while the risk is not completely mitigated by their use, it is reduced and I'll take those odds thanks.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My experience over the years has astonished me as to how people who are sexually active with multiple partners, or their only partner is active with others, rightfully use condoms for vaginal/anal protection but think it's safe to have bare oral and swallow fluids. Then again, oral isn't counted as sex, it's better!
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are high risk. Very high risk. I wouldn't go there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
They say Perth has rates of STIs due to the FIFO workers and their travel habits. If you are not worried about HIV, I just think that is so incredibley foolish. Get tested, fine... But that isn't going to stop you from catching it. You are both very lucky... I know someone who wasn't so lucky. But it's your life.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry. That should say Perth has high rates of STI's. So I have read.
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RHP User
9 years ago
maybe you should do some reading.avert.org australia-hiv-aids-statistics.htmabs.gov.au ausstats abs@.nsf mf 3101.0 Put the www on and / for the spaces. will give you all you will need to get the facts.New South Whales has 3 time the rate per head of population and Vic has 2 times over WA Though I would not flatter your self Meeka
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RHP User
9 years ago
This should make for some very awkward moments. Cut from web siteThe 'S.T.EYE' (condoms) has a built-in indicator to detect infections such as chlamydia and syphilis, turning a different colour depending on the strain of bacteria present. Google S.T.EYE
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '1DarkBull' My experience over the years has astonished me as to how people who are sexually active with multiple partners, or their only partner is active with others, rightfully use condoms for vaginal/anal protection but think it's safe to have bare oral and swallow fluids. Then again, oral isn't counted as sex, it's better! The mouth is not a great place for some of the STI's. The saliva will make short work of most of the viruses HIV, HPV, though Herpes (HSV 2) can get into the body via the healthy mouth. But oral sex if you have bad teeth, bleeding gums, ulcers should be avoided. Anything that is swallowed is safe. Bacterial STIs Gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia can get into the body via the mouth, nose, and eyes, and any cuts or bleeding wounds. We all know that condoms have protection rates for each STI. The most common cause of cross infection when using condoms is via the hands. This is factored into the condoms protection level for each STI. The bacterial STI are rather hardy and can survive on skin. Touching, fingering, her pussy and then touching you cock (especially the head) will move STI's Think of them as small bits of dust, they cover the inside of the vagina, the urethra, the area around the genitals, inside the anus, some are in the fluids (including the squirting, try convincing them its not cool to squirt everywhere.) Touching any of these will put them on your hand. Touching your cock then moves them to you. Over all women are much more susceptible than men to the bacterial infection. Germs love a warm moist place. The more vigorous the sex the more chance of infection because of chafing.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well for me its a blood test. So if there is no condom lol he's out! I will not even kiss a guy. Its the way I always play. Everyman on here I have played with knows my rules. I don't care how hot, rich or well mannered a man is my rules stand.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm well aware of the "perceived" increase in risks in Perth Meeks, it's not just FIFO, our proximity and penchant for Asian holidays has been part of the mix for a long time. I don't fuck three different women a week Meeka (though I did for a short period ) and I don't do strangers at clubs, so luck has nothing to do with it, good management more than good luck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
1. Trust is crucial whether a condom is worn or not. 2. They are horrid things. 3. Do not have sex with anyone where you have a doubt. 4. They are a necessary evil. 5. Would you walk across a freeway with a blindfold on... you would not take the risk. 6. Simply imagine this little thing is a kinky play toy... build it into your play... part of the warmup. Cummon fellas... it is all in the mind.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's made for interesting reading and thanks for sharing your experiences. For those that have chosen to ignore my request I shall now shout it out loud: LETS PLEASE KEEP THIS ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES AND NOT ABOUT HOW EFFECTIVE CONDOMS ARE. Just thought it was worth repeating. Looking forward to hearing more. Cheers LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
(Without Googling this topic), is this "responsiveness -to -STI's", both , an "external & internal feature of these condoms.? Otherwise they are of no use to a woman! Well,... not unless she turns them inside-out before fitting them anyway!?! 😩 KK - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
9 years ago
I have switched off the thread for a while and just revisit this last night and thought to myself... WTH. You have been very patient. I would have curved the ball back into the court a while back. I dont mind people saying their piece to be helpful, long or short posts. Sometimes we deviate fromthe topic a bit but to drag and insist their point on everybody is a futile exercise. I for one have stopped reading some posts as my eyes glazed over. I just dont like the fact that some people can go on and on on a subject that is not on topic. Hijacking the thread. Start your own thread if you feel strongly about something? Just some respect to the OP. rant over. where's my coffee?
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RHP User
9 years ago
My experiences ? I used to use condoms when I was a teenage wanker to protect the sheets. I used condoms briefly with my older woman until the pill kicked in. I hate the feel, the smell, the taste and the unthinking hypocrisy and I'd rather go without than use them. My main protection comes from the big head.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wasn't going to say it but I have too. Guys are practically minded, asking us to separate experience with practicality/effectiveness is just not natural !
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You are high risk. Very high risk. I wouldn't go there. Your just here for the forums, and on the other side of the country so why say it ?There are forumites I wouldn't do either but I wouldn't insult them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
So you are really just preaching abstinence? You don't like comdoms to you can't go to clubs, or swingers parties. Which I guess you are saying that comdoms are effective them otherwise that wouldn't bother you. I would go genre as in - if I was talking to someone with he intention of meeting and he told me he had multiple partners and bet used a condom. I wouldn't go there. To me that is high risk behaviour.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry that should say "I wouldn't go there" not I would go genre as in. Sorry fat fingers.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' I wasn't going to say it but I have too. Guys are practically minded, asking us to separate experience with practicality/effectiveness is just not natural ! you are missing the multitasking gene? LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Far out! Apologies for my atrocious spelling and errors above. Clearly I have syphilis of the eyes and my repeated dribbling on my keyboard makes my fingers slippery. So how about it.... Who is up for a root. I come with my own glad wrap onesie.
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RHP User
9 years ago
(Sorry if it's been covered, I didn't read all the posts), Have you ever had a new female partner tell you not to worry about a condom because she was on the pill/couldn't have children/wasn't ovulating at the moment/etc.? What was your response?
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