F63
Ladies ... how common is it ...
June 20 2015
Comments
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
By the time you get the result the test may be out of date. Outside our relationship we are condom users, even though I have had a vasectomy and she has a bar. You can't be too safe with your own health.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lets assume the guy that is coming over has it all, you have had sex and it was the best ever, mind blowing sex you have ever had and you are hanging to get some more. Does the quality of the man make a difference? What if he brings condoms but they don't have a spermicide or anti bacterial/viral additives as you may have insisted on?What if he gets the wrong type of plastic? latex or rubber?What if he rocks up with the female condom, we are men after all and its easy to get simple things like that wrong? Is that also a no sex clause. Is a rubber a rubber or do you insist on a brand and type? and what if he rocks up with super cheap ones like they hand out at some places. (should be a law against that.. oh wait there is the Australian consumer protection laws)What if he insists you pop in a diaphragm? I have been to parties where the condoms basically fell apart when you put them on. They where tiny and you had to be so careful putting them on? What if the passion is on the move but the condom breaks when he is putting it on, and then the next one (he may be very thick) and there is one left just waiting to pop. Do you let him in?
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Seachange
9 years ago
After a cancellation of a couple of threads recently, I Have decided not to read nor respond to a few people on here as yours and my response does not make a difference. Why waste my time on these people and have this forum, which i think is excellent, deleted ? Thanks for this forum LG. Anyway I will never post on their forums again nor entertain their provocative posts. Now this will be a test of will for me I would have just rather stay away from the forums than engage.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Lets assume the guy that is coming over has it all, you have had sex and it was the best ever, mind blowing sex you have ever had and you are hanging to get some more. Does the quality of the man make a difference? What if he brings condoms but they don't have a spermicide or anti bacterial/viral additives as you may have insisted on?What if he gets the wrong type of plastic? latex or rubber?What if he rocks up with the female condom, we are men after all and its easy to get simple things like that wrong? Is that also a no sex clause. Is a rubber a rubber or do you insist on a brand and type? and what if he rocks up with super cheap ones like they hand out at some places. (should be a law against that.. oh wait there is the Australian consumer protection laws)What if he insists you pop in a diaphragm? I have been to parties where the condoms basically fell apart when you put them on. They where tiny and you had to be so careful putting them on? What if the passion is on the move but the condom breaks when he is putting it on, and then the next one (he may be very thick) and there is one left just waiting to pop. Do you let him in? How common is it for a new male playmate to say ... "oh I forgot the condoms", or "I don't like to use them because they make me go soft" or "they don't feel good"? Have you ever been coaxed into unprotected play? Have you felt that these excuses were pre-meditated and the male had no intention of ever using protection? I'm referring to situations where using protection was been discussed before a meet. After discussing the use of condoms .... and then when it comes down to it he tries to coax you into unprotected sex.. that is the issue...not necessarily what kind of condom he brought with him. We aren't really talking about going to a party here but a one on one situation. Its all about the pre-meditated deception that is at question. But you do have a valid question: Does the quality of the man make a difference? Sometimes the temptation is there when you know you are punching well above your weight so to speak but then the realization is that it is probably something he does all the time because he thinks he can trade on his "quality" status. I usually have my own supply just in case he says he forgot. But I can't change the lying and coaxing side of things. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
BM are you serious! I'm really into recycling and avoiding damage to the environment. I buy lots of things second hand. However, never in a million years have I considered it prudent to either recycle condoms or use second hand ones. I don't date guys who have cheap boxes of condoms in their car glove boxes. Ever. My sex life is so, exhausting and exciting that the condoms neatly lining my sun-drenched bedside draw never see it past their use by date. When it comes to relying on another human being, I find the best person to be reliant on is me. Women insisted on equality, and for better or worse we got it. I don't really see why something as simple as carrying protection is solely a man's responsibility. And you've never been slapped? That's good to hear. Hmm, I've clearly spent the last 42 years of my life being too nice. Can't say I've ever felt the urge to slap a man myself either. Perhaps I could spent the next 42 years of my life slowly working my psyche up to the idea though. My last post BM, was an attempt at dry wit, dripped with sarcasm! You've just made me realise, where I went wrong with my last post BM. Note to self: Do not consume red wine whilst writing. EVER!
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RHP User
9 years ago
My apologies, I did see your post as an attack, this thread has been nothing but attack on me. The reason I am aware of, thought many others either don't know or are denying it. I am thus in a slightly defensive mode when replying though I did not think I was harsh, well I hope I was not too harsh. An active sex life is a good thing to have, good for the soul, good for health. The benefits greatly outweigh the dangers. Now for some more community service ranting The choice to use condoms or not is clouded by the general misunderstanding of the level of protection that they actually provide. Having a sense of security is helpful at reducing stress, and the thought of having caught an STI and associated stress can be more harmful than most STIs. Yet this sense of security is flawed and dangerous, not only to ones self, but to the general community. Condoms do not stop the spread of STI, condoms via the perceived security encourage people to be more promiscuous, (many studies have shown this) and in some counties the amount of extra sex is far higher than the protection that they provide. In the USA condoms are seen as a cause of increasing STI rates because they have increased the amount of sex people have, and decrease the number of STI checks Use condoms or not, that is your choice. We are discussing consensual sex and the use of condoms is part of that consent. I am not advocating people not use them, I advocate testing. Testing does not provide personal protection, it provides community protection which in the long run provides personal protection In many isolated Australian outback and island communities there are high levels of STI. There have been many attempts at reducing the spread of STI's in these communities. Condoms, freely available and education on there use was thought a solution, but this did nothing, it did not even reduce the rate of STIs (condoms only work in conjunction with ABC sex Abstinence, Be faithful, use a Condom) in these communities. What did work is mandatory communal testing. Within a year the rate of new infection falls to zero. The number of people with curable STIs falls to zero. Testing works and works very well. We will never have mandatory testing in Australia as a whole, but we can take that responsibility on our selves. For me safe sex is not if someone uses a condom or not, for me it is if they are tested. If someone rocks up and there is no condom, I will not argue the point. To me if someone rocks up and can not convince me that they have been tested, then I will say NO, I don't care if they have 100 condoms on. The question should be, Would you have protected sex with someone if they had an STI? I would not, the risk is too high. Without being tested a person does not know if they have an STI (many STIs are asymptomatic) so I take the safe option and assume that they may well have one, and as I will not have sex with someone with an STI, I will not have sex with an untested individual. Your responsibility is not bringing condoms, it is Do you know you have an STI or not?Would you let the other person know of you have one? Condoms are irrelevant, testing is the only way to reduce the spread of STI in the western world.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'QLDtwo4fun' By the time you get the result the test may be out of date. Outside our relationship we are condom users, even though I have had a vasectomy and she has a bar. You can't be too safe with your own health. T It is not about finding out if you don't have one, it is finding out that you do, then you can either cure it, or inform people you have sex with that you have one. That way you protect others. You can never be safe from STI's but you can protect others by known if you do. STI are a communal problem and must be tackled as such. It is not about selfish self protection, its about stopping STI at the source, the people with STI are the cause of the spread and has nothing to do with condoms. Testing is many times the only way to know. Ask your self,Would you have protected sex with someone with an STI?If you say NO, then how can you know if someone has one or not.? Condoms do not stop STIs, Testing does.
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RHP User
9 years ago
LG
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Seachange
9 years ago
Lol. Such is life. Some mothers do have them. Lol.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Would you have protected sex with someone with an STI?If you say NO, then how can you know if someone has one or not.? Condoms do not stop STIs, Testing does. Simple!....... you say.... you "trust" them. Because trust is apparently.... * stronger reliable than testing* stronger than any persons lies about their testing history* stronger than deception....* stronger than contradicting arguments.....* ..... stronger even, than ignorance! For everything else......after Im tested and I know Im clear...... and after they tell me they're tested and say they're clear.....whether I trust them or not, whetherI believe them or not..... ........ there's condoms on my shopping list. So to answer the OP..... with me... it will not be common at all. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
And some STIs are ASymtomatic. Ppl are carriers and can INFECT you even if everything looks fine. Was burned once with a trusted long term partner, so yes why can't it just be an accepted part of intimacy without even being a second thought.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You read but you can not understand. You trust condoms, not people. That is sad and dangerous, people should not trust you because you do not do all you can to protect your self.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am confused by your point or view. Surely, trust alone OR condom alone are risky. I don't see a problem with combining the two. After all, having sex with someone involves a certain level of trust. Whether that is for your own safety be it physically, emotionally and STI-wise. The next level of trust for me is condom-free and has to be mutually agreed upon and might include testing, talking or whatever your parameters are. I would never jump into any encounter without it being mutual agreed and only if it was going to be a long term relationship which in itself is based on trust. You are still trusting your sex partner either way, with or without condoms. Quoting 'Blindman67' You read but you can not understand. You trust condoms, not people. That is sad and dangerous, people should not trust you because you do not do all you can to protect your self.
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RHP User
9 years ago
sorry about the last post ... it went haywire with the set out. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Truly the mind boggles.
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thicklonghard
9 years ago
I always use protection, n I have came across chicks n couples, where they told me don't worry about protection, or the chick won't enjoy, she prefer without condom..... What will u say to that????? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think that's the site l telling everyone to not quote BM anymore. :-P
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RHP User
9 years ago
LG I am neurotic when it comes to STI's I have an unreasonable fear of them. I will not touch someone I do not trust, I will not touch someone who has touched them. There have been many times in group play where I have sat out because of just one individual. I trust responsible types to be responsible, and I trust the reckless to be reckless. Reckless people use condoms but they do so to get sex, they do not do it for the reason they should and that is to protect others. A reckless person will use condoms to protect them selves, a responsible person uses condoms to protect others. It is easy to spot the difference in attitude. People who insist that condoms are worn to protect them selves and show no though of trying to protect others are not people I have sex with. It is easy to workout if someone has been tested. It is easy to see if someone is responsible for their actions, it is easy to see if someone puts the needs of others over their own. I trust people like that. That trust, is many times safer than putting on plastic for randoms. I am Bi I can get sex at the drop of a hat. This mean I find it very easy to also say NO. In-fact I say no many time more than yes. I am too necrotic and the thought of a trained individual repulses me. They can harp on till blue in the face that they always use protection, it is irrelevant. If I do not trust this person to be responsibly and care for others, I can not have sex with them. For some people their responsibility is so self evident that the need for condoms is almost mute. I will never knowingly endanger another and take more than reasonable steps to to prevent anyone from risk , and I am attracted by those that are the same. DG and the others may belittle me for relying on trust, but there is nothing else to go by as condoms do not stop STIs. They go on and on about them selves, and their need to be protected. This is not the attitude of someone that practices safe sex, it is a means to get laid and is thoroughly reckless in my view. When I have sex, I know I have nothing to spread. I take only the risk of catching, if I trust the individual and they do not bring condoms then I accept that. I simply will not have sex with someone if I feel there is a need to put a condoms on. But I use them if required, but not because I feel safe with them on.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Blindman I don't believe your reply answered my question in relation to trust AND using a condom .... but then I live in my own little world with my own set of rules and I won't have anyone else impose their ideology on me. I also don't believe it is only reckless people who use condoms. I am happy that you haven't caught an STi and wish you more good luck in your trust theory and practice. At the end of the day we all take responsibility in our own way and those that don't, not only spoil things for themselves but for every unfortunate or misguided person that trusted them (while oblivious to their possible deception). LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
I dont understand. I use condoms all the time. Why am I at more risk of deception? How is relying entirely on condoms better than applying risk management techniques to who you have sex with. If half the people lie to me that means half do not. This almost half's my risk compared to someone that does not ask or even consider if the person they are about to sleep with have done all they could to protect others of an STI. Why is it safer to no consider who you sleep with? I am really struggling to understand what seems to be the general attitude, that all you need is condoms. Why is putting trust into people making the condoms I use less effective than the ones others use? Condoms only work 4 in 5 times, who plays russian roulette with there sexual health with one bullet in five chambers. I only takes one shot Little wonder 84% of people have an STI
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' You read but you can not understand. You trust condoms, not people. That is sad and dangerous, people should not trust you because you do not do all you can to protect your self. What is sad... are the incorrect assumptions you make of other people.... and your attitude that anyone who points out the flaws in your arguments doesn't "understand". I understand fully.......your contradictions are clear........So heres the deal... yet again. Condoms are not perfect..... but neither are people..... so I dont fuck anyone without a condom. You do.... men (and women?) You trust people....... you concede that people lie..... so your trust is misguided and an illusion which you cling to. And you say you don't gamble with your sex life. I think people can make their own decision on what is the safer course of action, and whether to "trust" the risk with you.... or not.
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RHP User
9 years ago
"While in 20 years someone you slept with could die from cervical cancer that you may well have given her while using your condoms." Should read While in 20 years someone you slept with could die from cervical cancer caused by something that you may well have given her while using your condoms.
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RHP User
9 years ago
BM...go cross a dark busy road with your eyes shut, just once. It's ok, it's safe. You're more likely to get abducted by an alien than run over.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Too harsh was it DG.. the truth.. Did you have to call for help. Do you know if you will do the above? (re correction) You seem to know everything else, that would be some heavy guilt those condoms are protecting you from. Hope you trust the plastic holds.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lets try and work it out what stupid lads do. (stupid lads are mythical Australian bloke who thinks he is safe from STI's) Most stupid lads will say they have had 15 women in there lifes? But such lads are not that interesting in real life so 10 I would say is how many women they could hope for. I also trust trust are as dumb (half the adult male population has below average IQ) in real life as they are on forums, so that would mean they have never been tested for HPV or HSV. I would also say they always use condoms, they stupidly believe that they protect even for oral, hand jobs, figuring, toys, kissing and touching, all of which spread STI's but I am sure you would know that? So that make the odds extremely high that they (Stupid lad) have an STI, around 95%, thats almost a certainty. Not only that but they have most likely while using the condom spread it to at least half of the people they have slept with. A resent discussion I had with a stupid lad. Me: "SL you can not refute this as you have never been tested for HSV or HPV. You just do not know if you have an STI or not. So you go around with condoms secure in the knowledge that you don't have to feel guilty. While in 20 years some you slept with dies from cervical cancer caused by something that you may well have given her while using your condoms." This below average guy did not know what to say. I know for a fact (over 12 tests in the past 7 years) that I do not have any STI's including HSV, HPV , and HEP A,B,C (which are all not part of the standard test). I have never spread an STI to anyone because I know I have never had one. I am the responsible one here, you stupid lads are irresponsible as you have unsafe sex with condoms on, completely unaware if you have one of the STI's 83% of Australian adults have.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You fail to see this is a sex site, where people advertise their wants and needs, so when they meet their prospective partners they have an idea of where they've been. I will judge no person, but I do need to make the point that, even though I have never had another partner other than my wife in the last twenty years(except for one two weeks ago) safe sex is not only a pre-requisite, but a responsibility. Fucking around is great(yay)and I love that but responsibility cums first, otherwise sites like this become breeding grounds for unresponsable idiots. Do we want that? Ergo, we need always to stay safe, and keep each other safe. It's not just responsabilty, it becomes RESPECT. For ourselves and our partners! Just saying,,,
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Grab your shovel with both hands, Blindman LOLWhen you start resorting to belittlement instead of relying on the strength of your argument .... it shows you're scrambling. Hard. (lol) You say...."I am the responsible one here, you stupid lads are irresponsible as you have unsafe sex with condoms on, completely unaware if you have one of the STI's 83% of Australian adults have. How is it so very responsible of you.... to have sex with THOSE people......... relying only on your questions... which people lie to..... to trust them into sex without condoms???? Do you know if I've ever had an STI?NoDo you know when my last test was?NoDo you know when I last had unprotected sex?NoDo you know if I've ever had a condom fail?NoDo you know when someone I had sex with was last tested, even if they tell me it was at 8:30am today?NoDo you know with 100% certainly when someone is telling you a lie?No Thats a lot of Nos.Thats a lot of compounded risks.And its a lot of lies that one of your potential partners can get away with .... regardless of how good you think your questioning methodology is. And you've said you cannot be certain people will not lie to you.So if you can't be 100% certain they're not lying to you.... how can you truly... just.... trust ..... them?! Any answer other than "I can't".... highlights either your naivety.... or your ignorance....(blindness).... to merely trust someone to tell you the truth, as your sole source of sexual safety. Im straight... select my partners carefully....... am tested regularly.....I know my status......I don't completely trust others or leave my health in the hands of another person......... and don't have unprotected sex..... with anyone..... especially with gay/bi men up the toosh with no condom. You do. And he calls me stupid lad.... eh readers. LOL Sadly, people die in car accidents every day. But I bet you still wear a seatbelt.
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RHP User
9 years ago
We all know that if we didn't have to - we wouldn't wear them.I've had a lot of sex and in my experience guys are a mixed bag, some have no conception of contraception.others know of it and think they can always take the risk (perhaps because most men don't suffer any symptoms of sti and can unknowingly be carrying something nasty to the party), others are proactive and will always attempt to wear a condom.I do love a man that knows to grab the rim of the condom as he pulls out. *CHEERS* For me personally I have multiple partners and I like that freedom - so I always have condoms on me. That way when i stumble upon a sexy freak who doesn't come prepared I can save the moment like the super hero i am. Ladies - educate your selves on female condoms - in my experience many guys who hated wearing condoms - would happily fuck one of these lolhttp://www.avert.org/female-condom.htm I do personally prefer the female condom over the regular condoms, but they are a bit fiddly so make sure you have got it in right and you're in for the fun.
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RHP User
9 years ago
The Guy knows his size. Quite simply like me , they should carry their own knowing it is a good comfortable fit which will lead to better sex. Guys if condoms are too expensive for your pocket then you can not afford to play. Simple!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Somebody shoot me. You blokes should take it off line.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Jousting is only fun in front of a crowd, doncha know.
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